#staffengineer:asks

[anarcalina]

         // @staffengineer​ sent,  “ just trust me. please. ”

          He laughs, the taste of bitterness upon his lips, a tang he hates more than he’ll admit. His caution is not borne of nature, an intrinsic part of his being, and it wars with his desperation eagerness to believe, to trust, to see ever the best. Yet caution demands more of him, and it’s more than his life on the line.    ❛ Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it. But I’m not sure you know what you’re asking for. ❜

          In any other situation, with someone other than him, her uniform ought to speak plenty for her trustworthiness, and a pang of longing lances through him — a fierce desire for Starfleet and all it had to offer. For the camaraderie and structure and certainty and potential. He does not ask her to justify herself, to offer proof of trustworthiness, though it’s the line required by such a narrative. He knows already: there’s no answer that will satisfy him.

[anarcalina]

          // @staffengineer​ sent,  “ you see everyone so clearly except yourself. ”

          A nervous laughter bubbled from behind her teeth. It tickled at the back of her throat, but  did not reach down to shake her lungs with mirth.    ❛ I think I see myself clearly enough. ❜    She certainly had no interested in examining herself more minutely. She’d seen her reflection in the eyes of plenty, always lacking, always a disappointment. Sometimes it seemed that it would never matter what she accomplished: her personality and social ineptitude marred all. 

          ❛ And even if I didn’t, I have plenty of people who are more than happy to remind me, so I’m all set, really. ❜    Another laugh, now dismissive, though gauging by the fidgeting of her hands, the anxiety persisted.    ❛ So, umm... I really need to get these results back to the lab, so... ❜    She took half a step backward, torn between fleeing the conversation before she could make more a fool of herself and risking offending Charlene. She feared both options.