THE SOFTEST LIGHT
Sam Winchester x Reader
AUTHORS NOTE: Hey Alexa play “Fade Into You” by Mazzy !
WARNINGS: Slice of Life, Fluff, Mention of Size Difference (Reader is Shorter than Sam Winchester), Yearning, Stanford!Sam Winchester, Lots of Dialogue in the end lolz
WORD COUNT: 2.5k
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The drive to the coast was quiet, the kind of silence that had weight but no discomfort. The windows were cracked just enough to let that salt air drift in, and the sky hung in its greyness- soft like a hazy memory that was covered by a fog.
Sam didn’t speak much, just glancing at you every once a while, enjoying the way the faint light rays from the sunset painted your face, casting out all your features he adored so much.
You inhaled the sweet air, the comforting setting making the body at ease. Everything was good.
This was good.
You leaned back in your seat and gazed out in the distance, watching those waves crash onto shore, the sand darkening the moment the water swam over it. The music played softly from the radio, almost creating a background sound for them to enjoy this moment even more.
You glanced at Sam, silently soaking up his side profile and silent presence. His sleeves pushed up to his elbows, showing his muscular forearm and you forced yourself to look away, feeling your cheeks heat up.
He could feel your eyes on him and he suddenly felt very aware of his presence, feeling more than nervous the longer you held your gaze on him, “Once we unpack everything, let's share a beer and take a walk?”
Sam’s soft spoken voice alone can make your heart melt, just the pleasing sound of it was like a melody that cannot be described in words but feeling.
You looked at him again, nodding and watched the corner of his lips curl into a smile.
God that smile.
At this rate, it was like you yearned for him in ways that it became concerning to feminism.
When you discovered your feelings for Sam, you tried to push it down. It was worthless. It had to be some silly crush…the way his laugh made your stomach twist, or the way he looked down at you with those puppy eyes- fuck you had to stop yourself from thinking too much, and not fanasize about that stupid height of his.
_ _ _ _ _ _
“Sam how in the hell did you fit all this in the trunk?!” You laughed as you looked down at the bags and luggages that tumbled down to the ground. You moved your way through the maze of bags and huffed as you stumbled.
Sam caught you just as quick and pulled you close, his warmth radiating on your skin. His delicious scent drove your mind and thoughts you never knew existed flashed through your head.
Your heart raced at the close contact, wanting nothing more than to just lean in more and melt onto his skin. To feel his skin in ways you never felt before, to feel the way his body moved against yours in such inappropriate ways.
“A man never shares his secrets.” He said with a smile, finally letting you go- and thankfully not hearing the small noise of protest from the lack of warmth from you- as he quickly went over to pick up the bags, linking them one by one on his arm and he grunted his way back to the cabin.
You paused at his statement, frowning, “Isn't it supposed to be ‘a woman who never shares her secrets’?”
He let out a snort and turned towards the cabin, creating the perfect opportunity for you to flip him off. You smirked at the sight, amused and somewhat grateful that you didn’t have to do any of the heavy lifting.
_ _ _ _ _ _
The cabin was perfect.
Perfect from the hand crafted ceilings to the decorative pillows.
The big windows overseeing the grey ocean, the fireplace where its smell linger in every room, and the picture frames decorated in cracked seashells.
“What happens if I put an offer on this cabin?” You breathed out, jumping onto the couch and bounced on the soft cushions with a bright smile on your face.
Sam placed the last bit of bags onto the floor and chuckled, shaking his head in response to your ridiculous question. You grinned at his reaction, finding everything adorable about him- and threw a pillow at his head, laughing out when it hit him square on the face.
“Hey!” He protested.
Just the way his muffled laughter made your heart squeeze- it was too much. Maybe it was a bad idea for the two of you to be alone like this.
For you especially.
Maybe you'll do something you'll regret, like confess your feelings to him that's been gnawing at your chest for god knows how long. That desperate nag to let it all out just so you can hold him in your arms without guilt, or to finally kiss those lips you spent way too much time staring at.
This was almost pathetic.
And embarrassing.
But god, you can’t help it the way your body gravitates towards him, feeding off his smiles and soft looks, and wanting to sink your teeth into his neck to just taste him like a vampire.
Yeah, really pathetic.
All of a sudden it's too hot in this cabin and all you can think about is his lips moving over your skin to your lips and-
“Let's go on that walk hm?” You strained out, giving him a smile too wide and quickly jumped off the couch, making your way to the door without looking back.
“Wow and forget the beer? You're a changed person.” Sam teased, following you without question and shut the door behind him, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he protected himself from the cool salty air.
The water was cold, but it made every part of your body feel alive. Free. Awake. You squealed as new waves came washing by, drowning your feet with its foamy whites and clear blues.
“You’re going to catch a cold.” Sam grumbled, keeping his distance from the water as much as possible, and also keeping an eye on you. Watching your every move as you walked peacefully in the cold water, finding it hypnotizing the way the light breeze pushed back your hair, the soft look on your face as your lips kept forming in smiles whenever the water hit your skin.
You playfully kicked the water in his direction and snorted, “And you’ll be there to make me feel better.”
Sam groaned but couldn't help himself to smile, already creating images on how that would look, seeing you bundled up in one too many blankets, “You suck… the last thing I need is to get sick too.” “I will gladly buy you a hazard suit.” You hummed.
Sam laughed, a hearty sound that sent Cupid's arrows spamming into your heart. You weren't able to stop yourself from laughing along, his laughs are just as contagious as it is addictive.
_ _ _ _ _ _
His jacket.
Raw vanilla.
Sandalwood.
Coffee.
And most importantly, warm.
You didn’t know how to react when Sam offered his jacket, draping it over your shoulders before you could even say anything and quickly started the outdoor fire so he himself wouldn't freeze to death.
It should be illegal how he smells like comfort. Peace. Love. Hope. Stubbornness.
It sounds stupid when you put it into words.
But feeling it is a different story.
Sensing it is a different story.
You watched him silently, sipping on wine, as he grabbed a match, with a flick of the wrist, beheld the tiny spark of fire on the stick and threw it into the pile of woods. The hit of firewood washed over your senses immediately, filling the air soon after with its smog that crawled up into the dark sky.
The smell of firewood was one of your favorites, and today just seemed to hit more different than other times. You weren't sure why. Maybe you enjoyed it more because it mixed in the smell of Sam.
God this is pathetic. You don’t know how many times you said that already.
The crackling of the fire, the ocean waves, the seagulls all drowned out by the long conversations you both had. Some were filled with more laughter than others, some more thoughtful, and some more meaningful, emotional, soft.
You stared at Sam as he went on about his future, what he wants best and some of his worries. You listened, but some parts you zoned out when you followed the shadows that casted on his face from the fire, every now and then the light flickers and more features showed in the hazy light. It was mesmerizing. The way he was patient with you when you didn’t understand something, or the way he smiled and his dimples popped in, or the way he was able to voice out his thoughts so clearly, it was like he was painting a picture for you.
More like you were a painting to Sam.
He liked seeing you in his jacket. In some ways, there is a small part of him that enjoys it because it marks you as his and no one else's. Almost like marking you.
But it's the way you drown in the dark brown material, your eyes bright and clear where you can see every movement through them just as well as wearing glasses. It holds so much emotion and quality that it makes him feel grateful to be able to stare into them long enough before looking stupid.
You looked breathtaking in the light of the fire. The orange haze that shined over your face made every feature reveal itself. And Jesus fucking Christ- it was like falling in love with you again.
It was like realizing he wanted to kiss you more than anything when you guys went on that trip to the Dunes back in Nevada. How he wanted to brush off the sand from your cheeks just to have an excuse to feel your soft skin underneath his fingers.
As the night went on, bottles of wine seemed to go empty faster than usual and laughs were more in the air.
“I forgot how good this feels. Fire, waves, no phone signal… like the world finally shut up for a second.” Sam sighed, bringing the glass to his lips.
“Yeah, it's weirdly nice,” You hummed, placing the cool glass against your flushed cheeks, “I thought I’d hate being this disconnected, but I kind of wish we could live like this.”
Sam chuckled and nodded in agreement before raising an eyebrow at you, “Well, maybe not the part where I saw a raccoon steal our chips.”
You laughed, “Hey! He earned them! Bold little thief. You didn’t even try to stop him.”
“I wasn’t about to wrestle a raccoon, I like my face the way it is.” He grins before going silent for a second, “This place reminds me when I was a kid… those small moments of peace. No plants, just… whatever happened, happened. My dad would drive my brother and I do random wrestling games and… I miss that in some ways.”
You hummed again, smiling softly as he recalled that small memory.
There was a moment of silence, Sam's eyes stayed on the shining stars that panned over the dark sky, and yours was stuck between the fire and Sam.
“I don’t think I’ve felt this calm in a long time.” You said quietly, moving your gaze to the fire before Sam could meet yours, “You always have that effect though.”
Sam tilted his head, making sure he heard that right before fully looking at you, his puppy dog eyes digging into your soul, “What? Making people feel calm?”
“No, just…” You shrugged weakly, “Making me feel okay. Even when everything else feels messy.”
They fell into a quiet pause, Sam’s eyes still on you as you looked away, feeling flustered and fuzzy for saying such things, it almost felt like a confession more than a casual statement.
No more wine for you.
Sam couldn't help but smile faintly, looking down at the red liquid in his glass as he tried to find his words, anything to keep this conversation going to he could hear what's on your mind, What had possessed you to say such thing to him and how he just wanted to kiss your future worries goodbye,
“You know, I still remember the first time we talked, First week of Stanford, that giant lecture hall. You were sitting alone with your headphones in and somehow still looked stressed.”
“Because I was stressed!” You groaned in small protest,” But then you sat next to me and offered me half of your weird, sugar free granola bar.”
Sam rolled his eyes at the last comment, finding it amusing how much of a sweet tooth you can be with particular things. He opened his mouth to respond to that but you managed to beat him first by saying,
“And I thought, “Okay. Maybe I won’t fall apart.””
Sam’s gaze softened and you swear your heart stopped, his eyes were already soft- now they looked kinder, softer… he had to be doing some sort of witchcraft the way your mind seemed to spiral at the sight. “I didn’t know what I was doing either. I just saw you and… I don't know. Something about you made me want to sit down.” He said quietly, the crack of the fire jolting in the background.
“Funny how things stick like that.” You commented even quieter.
God how can you get cuter than this. Sam thought he could fall to his knees and praise the shit out of you to the universe, starting out every reason why you are perfect and why you should be with him.
“And somehow, we’re still here. You and me.”
“You and me.” You repeated back.
Your eyes meet for a second, a soft kind of silence settles, like you guys are both aware of something unspoken just under the surface.
“Have you ever thought about it?” Sam whispered, his voice low and steady, like he was scared to say something wrong, “How close we’ve gotten? What is this?”
It feels like your heart is going to explode, you kept your eyes on his, trying to read his expression the best you can,
“All the time.” You whispered a beat softer, “But I guess I never want to say the wrong thing and mess it up.”
“Me too.”
Another long pause. The seagulls sang while the fire pops, the waves crashing onto shore switches back and forth. The night heat made everything feel more vivid, more alive as the alcohol in your systems seemed to make everything move in slow motion.
Sam shifts, his knee brushing against yours and he inhales sharply.
Neither moved away.
“It feels right,” Sam croaked out, finally breaking the tension, “Being here with you. I don’t know how else to say it.”
“You don’t have to,” You said, leaning closer before grabbing at his collar and pulling him even closer, your breaths mingling in with each other, “I feel it too.”
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AUTHORS NOTE: Sooo.. did we like this one chat?
What do you think Sam Winchester smells like? I honestly just did these scents because put together they make a yummy warm scent, which suits Sam perfectly with how strong and soft-spoken he is yk?
I am back on the grind of making more stories for you cuties !!
Love you lots ! Stay safe ! Drinks lots of water !
Requests are still open ;)