Another installment of “Everyday life with Star!!”
Again, I’m going to put down everything my sister and I say that I think is funny or important. Here we go!! (NOTE: We’re playing SIMS)
Twin: ”Oh my God we all look like shit.”
Me: “At least we look like shit as a unit.”
Me: Winks at my husband and does finger guns
Twin: “Thank you, Star for that excellent presentation, I’m gonna go barf.”
Twin: “It didn’t look so bad from a distance, but when I got up close my eyes wanted to start bleeding.”
Me: “Like most people’s reaction to your face.”
Me: “Holy fuck please tell me your house is not yellow.”
Twin: “I GOT FUCKING FOURTEEN DOLLARS WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO????”
Twin: “My Mama said I can get really far with my good looks”
Me: “That is NOT what Mama said.”
Twin: “OH MY GOD STAR WE’RE PIMPS”
Me: “We don’t have enough fucking money to be pimps, Hev.”
Twin: “WE’RE PIMPS AND MOM WOULD BE SO PROUD OF US.”
Me: “She would if we were successful pimps.”
Me: “A PARK!! I’m a grown ass woman I can go slide if I damn well please.”
Twin: “I’m gonna dance on the picnic table until the police come get us.”
Twin: “APPARENTLY I’m gonna gossip about people I don’t even know.”
Me: “New to the neighborhood and the first quality you have is talking shit.”
Me: “Mom keeps asking if we will help her with Bible study this year.”
Twin: “Shit.”
Me: “We don’t even go to church.”
Twin: “Fuck.”
Me: “I don’t even practice anything close to that religion anymore.”
Both at the same time: “Shit fuck fuck shit.”
Twin: “You’re son pisses me off.”
Me: “Why? What did he do.”
Twin: “I can’t fucKING WIN AT SMASH AGAINST HIM.”
Me: *laughing*
Twin: “He’s FUCKING SIX.”
Me: “No one will play Mario Kart with me anymore.”
Twin: “Why?”
Sassy and Slade: *From the next room* “You won’t let anyone else win!!”
Twin: “It’s a video game! She’s not supposed to!”
Me: “Yeah, fight for it you little bitch!”
Twin: “I tried to pole dance!”
Me: “Who got hurt?”
Twin: “I don’t wanna talk about it.”