Memorial Day: A Play in One Act
Scene: @starzki and @scribefigaro enjoying the sun during a walk around our local park.
Child: Excuse me?
Scribeski: This is standard background park noise; barely perceptible above the screams of kids in the splash area.
Child: EXCUSE ME!!!
Scribe and Star turn to see a group of three 10-year-old girls following them.
Child In Charge: We are doing interviews for our school. [a/n: bullshit I could sense the awkwardness among them, because I was in their exact same situation years ago. Little kids starting a news business. You lie to adults about that stuff, say it’s for school. For me, it was a newspaper I was starting with my two best friends at the time. For her, a Youtube channel (?) with her two best friends (also present). I was thrown in the moment, but realizing her other friends were protesting, begging her to stop, I knew the score exactly. Thirty years ago, I was the kid begging the Child in Charge (who is still my best friend) to not bother adults with these stupid things.]
Scribe and Star: Okay! :D
Child in Charge: [Brings out Smartphone video recorder. Argues about it not recording well. Can’t see our faces. Tweaks some settings and then things apparently work.] What do you feel about global warming?
Scribe [a scientist specializing in environmental protection, who co-wrote a multi-million-dollar Federal research grant on reduction of greenhouse gas emissions this very week, and has spent the last five years of his life developing technologies to further the goals of the US Environmental Protection Agency] Uh... it’s bad?
Child in Charge: And is it bad if animals are affected by global warming?
Scribe, who is so aware of Arctic ice reduction over the past 20 years he could literally draw a map of the Northwest Passage with 1990 and 2010 summer ice from memory: Uhhh...
Star: So bad. Animals shouldn’t be hurt because of humans.
Scribe, a scientist: Super bad.
Child In Charge, clearly aware she’s hit the bottom of the barrel with these two: Any other thoughts on global warming?
Scribe, in a last attempt at redemption, “We have one planet, and we should take care of it. :D :D”
Child in Charge, realizing we’re a shitshow, “Great, thanks.”
We walk off.
Star: Don’t you do this stuff at work?
Scribe: ...
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR.
