#stfu aka

[red-lithium]

I feel like no matter how much I scream, I can never make a sound...

[red-lithium]

So I had this dream last night / this morning about being friends again with people I really don’t talk to much anymore and it’s really hurting me so much right now.. like I feel like it’s my fault I made us grow apart and it’s making me not want to eat and getting so irritated that I want to claw my own skin..

Part of me wants to think it’s not me that’s the problem but also don’t want to blame others s the reason I lost their friendships and I’m super scared to lose the one’s I’m still clinging to tightly. I’m lucky enough to still have a friend that I’ve known for 7 years and a boyfriend at the same amount of time to have this long and it’s scares me of what could happen..

I could just be depressed and overthinking things but when I get to the point of wanting to hurt myself it gets really scary for me and I really don’t know who to turn to at this point? My life has gone to complete shit and I’m trying my best to pick myself up and survive another day, but days like this makes it so hard for me to deal with... 

[red-lithium]

When you need love and validation do bad but it's like 6am your time and everyone is asleep still and I'm just standing at work trying to keep my motivation up to get through today

[red-lithium]

[SCREAMS LOUDLY WORH GUILT] <i>I FUCKING RUIN EVERYING OMFG</i>

[red-lithium]

Uuugh I don't wanna work today, I'm too tired

[red-lithium]

In less than 12 hours from now I retake my registry exam can I throw up and cry now

[red-lithium]

Just a small psa for today

I'm not going to have my laptop tonight so I may be inactive until tomorrow. I have my ARRT registry I'm taking for the second time and need to make sure I study up before then. I don't want to waste another $200 on a failed test ;;; I may get on Skype later in between study time to be a bit social so I'm not too much a hermit. ;u;

[red-lithium]

dear gOD WHY AM I SO COLD THIS MORNING AT WORK SHAGHSKALFF;