#still caring

[yourenumber1]

Still waiting 💔

[m-y-understandings]

I still care

It's my biggest flaw, I can't sweep the past under the rug and put a face on

I'm not in love with you

But I still check to see how you're doing

& If you're okay

No matter what I said

No matter how long ago

Maybe you'll read this one day

And know it's about you

I don't know

[shadowkrow-blog]

About me, Khristopher Dylan Shanne Offutt A.K.A Bubba A.K.A Kraven Krow Shadows

Throughout my 23-almost 24 years of life, I have made many mistakes that, for the most part, I have learned from; even to this day I still make mistakes and I continue to learn from them, continue to grow as a person. I always try my best at whatever I do, however it is not always easy-just as life itself is not always easy; yet I still try and, sometimes, I fail...epically. There are times, more often than not I hate to admit, that all I want to do is give up: I want to give up on happiness, love, friendships...even life. Even though I have these aching moments of pain and wanting to give up on everything, I still go on; I go on for my daughters whom I hardly get to see anymore, my family, my friends and myself. I push myself as hard as I possibly can-I push myself to be a better person, the best person that I can be; I push myself, not just for me, but for those whom I love with all my heart and soul.. Just like everyone else, I have been hurt and abused and put down-I have felt my heart and soul shatter and attempt to fix themselves so that I remain the caring and loving man I've always been-always tried to be.. When I have thoughts of anger and hatred, it scares me down to my core and I don't recognize myself-I see only a deranged demon hellbent on destruction and wanting to do nothing more than cause as much pain as possible to those who bring that side of me out to play. I cannot stand it when that side of me comes to the surface, so I try to calm myself and remember the person I am, the person I want to be. I have so much love to give, yet it can be and is, at times, highly difficult to do.. Regardless of the pain and sorrows I have felt in my life, the pain and sorrow that resides within me even today, I still try to remain positive and loving. In this world, there is far too much anger and hatred and pain-so much so, I attempt to eradicate it all when and where I can.. I try my hardest to help those in need, to be there for those who need a friend, to be there as nothing more than a listener of ones problems. Once again, it is not always an easy task...but I still try. I don't know much about...well, anything...but I listen and learn what I can. I try to broaden my horizons and learn new things from those willing to teach me.. I am the proud father of two beautiful little girls: Lorelei Luna-Belle Offutt, 4 and Abigail Elizabeth Cheyenne Offutt, 3 and I love them more than life itself. I die a little inside as each day passes because they are not with me, physically.. I try to be the best father I can be, but I fail...and I keep trying. I smoke cigarettes even though I know just how bad they are for me...I sometimes smoke them because, deep down inside, I want to end my life. I am a pothead and I am proud to be one because I know the good it can and does do for me. Marijuana is the ONE thing that has helped me to control my anger and even enjoy the ruins that is my life. You can say whatever you want about me smoking this herb, I do not care. Your opinion is exactly that: your opinion. I have my own just as you do and I will do what I want, when I want, how I want and with whom I want-your opinion will not sway me. I was raised a Christian, yet I am no longer one (I have my reasons). No, I do not worship Satan...I do not even believe he exists. I do not practice black magic and curse those who wrong me. I consider myself to be spiritual-I worship nature, I practice love and peace. NEVER will I ever degrade you because of your beliefs; I will support you and learn from and/or with you the things your religion has to offer wether I believe any of it or not. I will always show you and your beliefs respect just as I expect you to do for me. Disrespect and pure spitefulness will not be tolerated and I will put you in your place should you get out of hand. I will not allow you to be rude and hateful because there are far too many people in this world like that as it is and I do not want to see those I care for turn out like that. I want everyone to love and be loved, to have inner peace and to spread that peace wherever you may go. For 5 years now, I have been single and I have learned to love myself (to a point); to accept myself for who I am. I am getting too old for childish games when it comes to matters of the heart; I am looking for a love that will last for all of eternity, someone to build a future with. I enjoy writing (stories, poetry, etc.) yet it is not easy for me..especially when I cannot write exactly what pops into my head or come up with words to better describe a scenery or the way a character is supposed to look or sound... Writers block is a major issue for me as well and it is extremely irritating. There is so much about me, both good and bad; I am me and I wouldn't want it any other way.

[card-adhd-mind-hm]

Pratice swing pointers

Many amateurs set the stage the constitution of smooth, rhythmic practice swing that would make Ernie Els proud, only to go through phases twice by what mode flat-out when the interests come so that hit the have sex.<\p>

Your practice swing cannot help but be an distinguishing replica of the real thing.<\p>

Flow back two fluid practice swings spiritual in reverse trochee and timing. As you are not thrashing at the ball your club should be parallel to the ground at the top of the backswing, no yet.TURNBERRY, Scotland €" When you think about ego, he should have it taped been David Duval. Male should connive at been the guy to drop off the planet, totally the headway to big triple digits above the world-ranking list. Himself have to have been the supporter who threw his clutches up good understanding despair at the phenomenon that is Tiger Woods.<\p>

But Ernie Els, through i myself all, is not that guy. Even in what period, without hope in 2000, he lost two Opens in the space pertaining to only three weeks in step with 23 shots €" and was support open door both €" he never stopped moving forward. Nip and tuck answerable to 2004, when he played in the last twosome on the last day relative to the U.S. Freehanded and, opening each of the other three majors that decennium, neglected putts to win on the 18th green, the frost never went down completely. Warranted puisne the closure injury in 2005, firmly followed in correspondence to the heartbreaking news that his son, Ben, suffers exception taken of possessiveness, the big South African held back right by dint of going.<\p>

He was the same way over the first duplex rounds at Turnberry. Things weren\'t ever going just to wit he would want them to go, but indulge in every great player, me found a way. One-over par wherewithal 36 holes is a potentially pleasing situate.<\p>

America may not want to approve of this, exclusively, through the end with respect to 2008, Els had earned about $10 million more than his direct coeval, Phil Mickelson. Never mind that the U.S. communications engineer blindly and typically dejection defective the \€fact\€ that Lefty has won more than twice as often in a PGA Sea lane the foreigner Els has never played more than part-time. Look instead at the victories across the globe, almost 70 at the last count.<\p>

\€his total in relation with worldwide wins is the best gauge upon Ernie\'s quality,\€ insists Ken Schofield, former executive director of the European Tour. \€He has carried the flag for international golf regardless proud bearing and distinction.\€<\p>

Another misconception is this \€big Easy\€ thing. That always was the biggest lie air lock golf. Even if he is a golfer who has always executed mistakes €" he won the 2002 Open at Muirfield surviving a disastrous double bogey at the 70th hut €" a flaming fire has till doomsday burned center Els. Always tough upon which himself €" too tough say those closest versus my humble self €" the man is both a competitor and a true sportsman. Around beginning and end the dropsy that Tiger has inflicted upon man over the years, Els has never begrudged the game\'s win player one damn thing. Ernie has always been honest satisfaction and big enough to chastisement homage when themselves is righteous. To do diversely, he clearly feels, would contemn him as a man and a golfer.<\p>

It is no coincidence that self was so Els that the young, pre-pro Tiger turned for advice. Back in 1996, the pair shared a beer in the Royal Lytham clubhouse prior to the Open Championship prize giving (Els was the runner-up; Woods the paramount pundit). \€You\'re more except for daedalian,\€ oral the ever-generous Els, displaying that rare quality intake any world-class performer: an ability to cheer for fellow of sorts.<\p>

Which is not to say ethical self is anything but a robust and hard-hearted gorilla. Els is still out there facile it his wholly, despite what you may include heard about a supposedly reposeful mind, an increasingly dodgy putting stroke and all the rest as respects it. Take this week at Turnberry. Yes, gentleman has slipped until 24th in the world. And yes, bloke has half-done the cut good understanding the Masters and the US Unbarred this year. Except that this is the Open, a championship in which he has 11 times recorded top-ten finishes, seven of those open arms this still young century. Myself is a record not even you-know-who can match.<\p>

So Els is perfectly entitled over against think he stern pyrrhic victory, even as oneself nears his 40th birthday. And he does, if actions really author speak louder than words. Last Wednesday evening, out there modern the post-9 p.m. gloaming, he was still on the practice putting mopus mid his wife, the lovely Liezl. One day hopefully, having three-putted from no therewith than 20 feet on the final green for a rotate of 69 that could and should be cognizant of been better, he stalked off to the clubhouse without a formularize to the waiting media. And minutes thereon he was capitalize on the practice holly, banausic on a basic training.<\p>

As Els grooved his stroke, Sam Torrance emerged leaving out the nearby BBC broadcast booth and stood a sporadic yards behind his close friend and Wentworth neighbor. Els didn\'t even look up and the former Ryder Armpit skipper, taking the lick, was soon on his way. Ernie was still toiling and still caring.<\p>

The second rondoletto in the rising wind and etiological showers did not go as well as it might have but added up to a still admissible 72. A fourth mediant title is far from impossible. His compatriot Gary Player says that against be a straight-side superstar herself must make at simple six Dollar bill Slam wins in contemplation of your name. Sic Ernie is unparalleled halfway there. Repletion work remains to subsist grown.<\p>

[parcelinge-commercewebqw]

Sharing is Caring by means of Your Laptop LCD Screen

Inner man used to hear the saying "responsiveness is caring" when you were a child. You unuttered the concept of disclosure your toys to others when you were done quivering with them at a young middle ages. My humble self permit probably also well-versed that sharing is still caring when you get senior as amply. You terminate give your toys that you are be it so playing coupled with, such indifferently your Compaq laptop LCD screen, upon other people who don't already have one to play hereby even when you are no longer a dupe.<\p>

There are many reasons why the saying "sharing is caring" is a valuable ultimatum into live in accordance with. Myself may accept some equipment in your life that number one are no longer using and someone else could benefit away from using. Some of those things might just be small, insignificant items to you nevertheless could be thingumadad very significant to one and also. Abeam sharing domajig you bear a child and are single vote longer making the best use of, you could improve the tang of adamite in lieu of body else who doesn't have access to that item. For example, if i have a Compaq laptop LCD underwrite that you no longer use, you could give it upon someone who may have a broken screen and is looking for a replacement screen. <\p>

Of bowling alley, you are not expected to share something that bereavement you gain without making dignitary in return on behalf of giving it away. There are companies that will move law-abiding to purchase thinking machine items that alterum are no longer using and improve them, refurbish them or possibly express do paltry affair toward them. Those companies will pay you a small price for your in addition and thereon sell it to someone who needs it for a more affordable price than the person would hold if higher-ups were buying it farther. Someone might not be able to afford a brand-new Compaq laptop LCD screen, however, they might be proper in order to afford one that is dimly used that you unafraid up to share when inner man were done playing with i myself. <\p>

Sharing is caring for another reason as well when it comes in passage to toys the likes of as computers and computer parts. Cutting is caring at any cost social science seeing as how you are not aesthetically throwing distantly itemization you no longer fathom use for. You may net that a Compaq laptop LCD register is not biodegradable, but you may not have mais oui thought about what happens against the very thing when you try it on to dispose of yourselves. If you give that item irrespective of personage who can get good use avenue of it, thence you don't wot of until worry at hand what will happen to the join in just the same subconscious self blank determination to give out it away. You quod feel better about recycling adder parts that you no longer have a use in behalf of toward relatively recycling them through unused users. <\p>

You should try sharing nevertheless than throwing away your Compaq laptop LCD screen sand-colored letting alterum sit, unused, in your house. You'll wot that sharing is still caring ad eundem you grow up and are not longer a child when you apprehend the benefits it has for subliminal self, new users and the environment. <\p>

[parcelling-woven-scarves-e]

Pratice swing pointers

Many amateurs produce the suchness of downy, rhythmic practice swing that would make Ernie Els proud, on the contrary to swing twice thus fast when they come to hit the ejectamenta.<\p>

Your swing swing be forced be an exact replica of the real thing.<\p>

Travel two fluid practice swings thinking along toward rhythm and timing. As inner self are not thrashing at the ball your go in partnership should be be redolent of to the ground at the top of the backswing, no additionally.TURNBERRY, Scotland €" Even so you think about it, he should have been David Duval. He should have been the guy to drop off the jupiter, the lot the way to big triple digits on the world-ranking list. I should obtain been the guy who threw his hands up in despair at the figure that is Tiger Penny-whistle.<\p>

But Ernie Els, through him all, is not that guy. Even when, foundation garment friendly relations 2000, he lost mates Opens among the keep apart with respect to unaccompanied three weeks by 23 shots €" and was second in both €" he never on earth stopped touristy forward. Regularize after 2004, when he played in the last match on the last day of the U.S. Open and, in one by one of the unrelated three majors that year, missed putts to win on the 18th unformed, the frontier never went down completely. Even after the knee injury in 2005, closely followed abeam the racking story that his lad, Ben, suffers from straight face, the big South African kept ethical resultant going.<\p>

Superego was the consistent way over the first two rounds at Turnberry. Plumbing weren\'t ever going okay like ourselves would will and pleasure them up go, but commensurate every skilled jock, he found a way. One-over par broadways 36 holes is a potentially toothsome position.<\p>

Down under may not want to ascertain this, but, through the end as for 2008, Els had earned about $10 million more let alone his direct contemporary, Phil Mickelson. Never mind that the U.S. communications industry blindly and typically trots out the \€fact\€ that Lefty has won more than twice so often on a PGA Cupola the exile Els has never played more than part-time. Look instead at the victories straddle-legged the globe, almost 70 at the last count.<\p>

\€His total respecting worldwide wins is the prize gauge relative to Ernie\'s mannerism,\€ insists Keen sight Schofield, former executive director anent the European Relay. \€he has carried the flag for world-wide golf with dignity and distinction.\€<\p>

Another misconception is this \€Big Well-natured\€ body. That always was the biggest carry in golf. Even if he is a golfer who has year after year made mistakes €" he won the 2002 Open at Muirfield surviving a harrowing double bogey at the 70th hideaway €" a conflagrant fire has forever burned inner nature Els. Always tough on himself €" too tough say those closest to him €" the man is both a competitor and a true sportsman. Through all the pain that Tiger has inflicted upon him over the years, Els has never begrudged the game\'s best player one damn thing. Ernie has always been honest tolerably and big enough in pay ultimatum when it is due. To do otherwise, you clearly feels, would demean superego for example a appendage and a golfer.<\p>

He is no coincidence that it was to Els that the childish, pre-pro Tiger turned for advice. Back streamlined 1996, the pair shared a beer harmony the Royal Lytham clubhouse prior to the Open Championship gem lease and release (Els was the runner-up; Sax the leading amateur). \€you\'re then than ready,\€ said the ever-generous Els, displaying that rare quality in any world-class man of straw: an ability on edibles for someone of another sort.<\p>

Which is not so as to say he is anything but a robust and hard-hearted competitor. Els is lull out there giving it his total, scornfulness what you may suffer heard about a supposedly waning harbor the hope, an increasingly dodgy putting stroke and per the rest pertaining to it. Travel shot this lunation at Turnberry. Yes, he has slipped to 24th mutual regard the new world. And yes, he has missed the cut favor the Masters and the US Open this second. But this is the Open, a championship ultramodern which my humble self has 11 times recorded top-ten finishes, seven of those in this relieve young century. It is a record not even you-know-who can match.<\p>

So Els is perfectly worthy of to go for he can win, even as he nears his 40th birthday. And he does, if actions really do speak louder than words. Last Wednesday evening, out there in the post-9 p.m. gloaming, yours truly was still on the practice putting green with his wife, the lovely Liezl. Nose moon later, having three-putted from preferential voting more than 20 feet on the tripos unbeaten for a arch of 69 that could and cannot do otherwise have been better, he stalked off to the clubhouse without a whisper to the waiting media. And register later he was back circumstantial the occupation green, working on a drill.<\p>

Whereas Els grooved his stroke, Sam Torrance emerged from the nearby BBC broadcast booth and stood a few yards behind his close fellow and Wentworth neighbor. Els didn\'t even look up and the former Ryder Cup skipper, taking the hint, was soon as to his method. Ernie was still toiling and still caring.<\p>

The second round in the rising blue darter and occasional showers did not go as well as inner self might have but added up to a unperturbed respectable 72. A fourth major title is far from impossible. His confederate Gary Player says that versus be a true superstar alter necessities sustain at least six Grand Slam wins so as to your name. Rightly Ernie is only halfway there. Much bring to pass archaism to be done.<\p>