Not relatable but I had to vent
My PMDD has started early because every time I see anything even slightly romantic my heart feels like it’s breaking. I want that for myself so badly that I genuinely think I could die of heartbreak if I see anyone in love that isn’t me lol. I wake up from dreams of love and the rest of my day is shrouded in ennui from knowing none of it was real. It’s only further encouragement to throw myself into the coma my PMDD so desperately wants me to be in. I hate how obsessed I am with romantic love. I hate how much I feel like I need it, no matter how accomplished and happy I feel with my self, no matter how comfortable I am in my own company, no matter how confident and sure I am of who I am, I can’t help but want to find a piece to complete my already complete puzzle. I know days from now I’ll turn around and remember who I am, I’ll be focused on my life and the love I already have in my life but for now I weep over a lover I have never known.