Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)
It's also a video episode if you pop it on your TV. Let's crack into it! My live thoughts as I'm listening are below the cut <3
- The episode opens in media res with Stephen talking about someone who started with him as an intern decades ago who is now going to have to experience the actual world of show business. I can relate, having five years in the games industry without having ever actually put my thumbprints on a game.
- $110,000?!? For last episode tickets?!?! Oh my goooood
- Stephen: "There's no use to having human emotions during the day -"
John Oliver, the most British person alive: "THANK YOU, I'VE SAID THAT ALL THE TIME"
- I completely forgot that Stephen's appendix burst and he did two fucking shows like that. Bro. Come on. He is totally right, though, the audience (like this fandom) does really care about how the hosts feel and are doing. (Go to the hospital when you have blood poisoning tremors pls)
- Seth, in a blinding white room surrounded by other white men: "Doing this all together is really nice and really speaks to the diversity in the room." (John is apparently the white guy in the group.)
- Stephen's plan for after his shows is to go to his brother's wedding and to clean out the office. Apparently they threw Letterman's shit outside when he left?? Jesus Christ. Also Stephen and his staff pretty much has to leave immediately, which doesn't seem legal but that doesn't seem to matter anymore
- Of course John wants to see a Spirit Halloween where the airlines dress like other airlines
- STRIKE FORCE WIIIIVES *thunderclap*
- Immediately, we get John explaining that Kate came to him, said Fallon texted, and was like "I think I got it right". This bodes extremely well for whatever is coming, lmfao.
- Jimmy Fallon: "this one is much better. I think." Oh Lord here it comes
- I'm so glad we all are determining what level of finger mustache makes for a Hitler impression, this is important historical discourse
- 🎵"I don't trust Norwegiaaans"🎶 deserved more laughter
- Daily Show backstage gossip, courtesy of John: Aasif Manvi wore shoes with separated toes to the office, and everyone could hear them slapping/squishing in a meeting. Everyone was apparently in agreement that they needed to come off, lol.
- I love learning all about how you should never wear something even remotely off-dress code to a professional writers room. Tank tops are off limits, good to know.
- Stephen: "Do you have a lot of friends?"
Fallon: "...no."
Stephen: "I didn't think so."
- John enjoying seeing "the dickish side" of Stephen come out is completely unsurprising. Stephen finally deploying a dickish joke he's had in his back pocket for years on OBAMA? Much more surprising.
- Apparently Stephen has only had a handful of guests that he's said he'd never have back on again. One was a Bush administration member on the Report who was very anodyne on camera but very critical of Bush off camera because, in their words, "they had to get a job". I can understand not wanting that person back.
- Stephen was unexpectedly incredibly attracted to Michelle Williams and used to have "a Rachel Weisz problem" on The Daily Show. He is also apparently Paulina Portzikova's hall pass, which is fucking insane. Like holy fuck man, I absolutely get it, but I didn't think Paulina and I had similar taste in men...
- After hearing about Stephen's arm wrestling and tap dancing lessons and boat making, I am with Seth in being quite concerned about how he will spend his free time.
- Jimmy is really behind on the Strike Force button lol
- The fact that Ryan Reynolds worked a reference to the dictator's pants into the ad read killed me. Apparently Fallon and I were the only ones who caught that.
- Why do I get the feeling that someone is going to try and track down this production of Madame Butterfly Stephen is talking about (please be cool y'all)
- I am interrupting briefly to say that John is painfully handsome here and why must he do this to me
- Literally right after I write that, John says he's opening an OnlyFans where he reads the news nakes with the camera focusing from his waist to his thigh. I would pay for that because I am a terrible human being. Also fuck you John this is now two times you've promised nudity and not delivered
- FINALLY, STRIKE FORCE WIVES
- The fact that Fallon IMMEDIATELY fucks this up bodes so well
- "I asked the wives correctly," he says
- John is literally bracing himself for the inevitable explosion, like gritting his teeth
- Kate is the fucking greatest, that mug is priceless. So is having to explain that fucking mug to your children.
- Stephen wants a digital subway card that tells you when the next subway is coming. Fallon wants a quilt and marmalade. These men are weird.
- Fallon's life is absolutely befuddling but I kinda love it. Hot lemon water, getting a butter churn for his birthday, getting jumpscared? Sign me up
- God Evie is unbelievably profound. I love her and I'm gonna miss seeing her on the show.
- I am one of the 3600 people who bought a Strike Force Five shirt, yay
- It's so nice to see all of these guys come together and be friends, after years of really intense late night wars and clashing personalities and egomaniacs. I don't like that I'm probably witnessing the death of one of my favorite television forms in real time, but at least it's ending with a sense of solidarity.
I laughed so hard at the moment where this video is queued. Stephen Colbert earnestly asks Jimmy Fallon, "Do you have a lot of friends?" and Fallon seriously considers the question for a second and says, "No."
But the way Colbert responds to that by matter-of-factly saying, "I didn't think so," made me literally laugh out loud. John Oliver is even wiping tears from his eyes and saying "Jesus fucking Christ!" while laughing afterwards because it was so unexpectedly mean! Then Oliver talks about how happy he is when Colbert's "dickish side" comes out.
