#studfem

[femme-4-butches]

Femme Rooms.

Ulla's Room, 1998. Asia's Room, 1996. Miss Deena, 1999.

All photographs © Chloe Sherman.

[neptunesrose]

I present to you, lesbians of tumblr: the gay corner of my (first ever) vision board.

details to note:

- the background: comes from a zoomed in shot of a hand model. sensual, vulnerable, moisturized.

- the dual venus symbols: holding our lovers together and shielding their crowns from the outside world. the love they share goes beyond sexuality, it’s an ode black lesbians’ culture. when we protect and honor one another, we protect and honor ourselves. they stand confidently, equipped with love, whimsy, and stellar fashion.

- the mature take on the coopertone ad: a reminder to remain playful, that enjoyment is enough of a reason to lean into pleasure.

- “I am like that red rose…”: for my middle name, and a reminder to leave old rejections behind. I’m hot and brilliant and smell good. I’ll grow, shed petals, and change, and somehow stay the same.

[stemmehistorian]

Stem(me) Lesbian Theory Masterpost

A stemme or stem lesbian is short for stud-femme lesbian. This is a Black lesbian term to describe lesbians whose mannerisms and gender presentation fall between stud and femme. This is a post of the key sources I've found:

Articles and Studies

John Jay College of Criminal Justice LGBTQ+ Terminology, Eli R. Green, 2003-2004)

'Stem – A person whose gender expression falls somewhere between a stud and a femme. (See also ‘Femme’ and ‘Stud’.)'

Lipstick or Timberlands? Meanings of Gender Presentation in Black Lesbian Communities, Three physical presentations of gender: Femme, gender-blender, and transgressive, Moore, Mignon R. (2006)

'Rather than a de-emphasis on femininity or masculinity, genderblenders combine specific aspects of both to create a unique look.'

Selection from "Black lesbian gender and sexual culture: celebration and resistance," by Bianca D.M. Wilson, published in Culture, Health & Sexuality, Vol. 11, No 3, April 2009 - Taken from belowdesire reblogged by princessrococco on Pillowfort

'Despite a consistent description of femme and stud at the extremes of lesbian gender expression, participants also discussed several labels that fell between the ultra femme-hard stud ends of the continuum, such as ‘soft stud’ and ‘aggressive femme’. Labels like these represented lesbians that blended both masculine and feminine ways in their public expression and/or sexual behaviours, but with a purposeful leaning toward more masculine or feminine identity.'

Lesbian Identity: Stemme, Nell S., 6th Nov 2009

'A Stemme is the in-between identity of a Stud and Femme. She is apart of both groups and her identity is subject to change at anytime. A Stemme identity is often referred to as the transitional stage; however, some lesbian women remain a Stemme because they enjoy representing male and female dominance."'

STORY OF INTEREST: Lesbian Speaks Out, Dominica News Online, April 12th 2010

'"one who could switch up one day, she could be a femme and other occasions dress like she has a li’l hood, li’l ghetto inside her; a stemme – part femme part stud a tomboy"'

Good gay females and babies' daddies: Black lesbian community norms and the acceptability of pregnancy, Sarah J. Reed, Robin Lin Miller, Maria T. Valenti & Tina M. Timm, 21st April 2011

'Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity.'

“It Ain’t All as Bad as it May Seem”: Young Black Lesbians’ Responses to Sexual Prejudice, Sarah J. Reed and Maria T. Valenti (2012)

'Stemmes, often blatantly ignored, derogated, or even physically threatened because of their vacillating gender identities, often made use of this strategy: "…if they wanted to act like a femme that day, they could get pleasured. If they wanted to act like a stud that day, they can pleasure. They got the best of both worlds actually. To me, that’s how I see it." '

Labelling, Butch, Femme Dyke Or Lipstick, Aren't All Lesbians The Same?: An Exploration Of Labels And "Looks" Among Lesbians In The U.S. South, Danielle Kerr, (2013)

'Short Dawg said, "A stem, for me, is a little mixture of a lot of different things. One day you can be super feminine, and the next day you can be not so feminine."' 'Jessica states: They [stem] might…have hair. They might not go straight to cutting their hair, or they might have haircuts, and some stems have short little afros, natural things.'

Good and Messy: Lesbian and Transgender Identities by Matt Richardson, taken from forum: Lesbian generations, L.J. Rupp, Nan Alamilla Boyd, R. Vanita, M. Richardson, S. Stryker (2013)

'“Stem” (or the combination of “stud” and “femme”) is a Southern African American term for someone who identifies as masculine and feminine.'

'Cultural Factors in the Adherence to Traditional Gender Roles in the Same-Sex Relationships of Black Women, Bianca D. Christian (2019)

'Stem. Another important term to consider in this subgroup is “Stem,” which is a term that is also almost exclusively utilized in the Black lesbian community. This term is a conglomeration of the aesthetics of the “Stud” and “Femme.” Often these women can appear very feminine one day and then appear very masculine the next day. Some of these women can also style themselves with both aesthetics simultaneously. '

Videos

WTH is a Stem?? - Amberscloset (2013)

The Black Lesbian Handbook: The Stem (2015)

[moonlightfemme]

if the definition of a label bothers you no one is making you use it

[butchstudfem-concepts]

Did you know that this is butchphobia?

I’ve noticed that lately, many people have been treating butches as inherently oppressive within the lesbian, especifically with the butchfemme, community. Many people attach a negative connotation to butches because of the prejudices that some perpetuate — and don’t get me wrong, I agree that we should speak up when our peers and partners act in ways that don’t represent us as a community, but that doesn’t mean being butchphobic. I realize that this anti-butch backlash stems from generalizations and bad faith, as well as hatred toward butches: treating butches like men has become all too common — and, of course, completely wrong. It's butchphobia.

When you perpetuate the stereotype that all butches must act like a men, as if they were aggressive by nature, as if they took advantage of their femme partners; when you expect all butches to be the same; and, above all, when you believe that all butches must have a specific body type or way of expressing their masculinity or ethnicity — you are butchphobic. You’re not defending lesbians from “mean butches”, you’re creating a bogeyman instead of talking about how butch masculinity can be toxic, you’re marginalizing and stigmatizing butches simply for being butches. So, please, let’s stop sexualizing and then belittling butches. Being butch or a dyke should be a source of pride, not just a “mere identity” that only serves to satisfy you and, when it no longer does, is discarded like trash. We can and should talk about how some butches use their masculinity to their advantage in their relationships. Talking about this isn’t anti-butch, but treating us like misogynistic men and unworthy of love is.

[idyllicbby]

i’m more interested in how lesbians can uphold (cis)heteronormativity when they center male-curated ideals such as marriage, bioessentialism, ownership, roles within a household/bedroom, nuclear family, etc. & less so on the degrading criticism of studs and butches who value (hyper-)masculinity (especially outside of just presentation) and femmes who are attracted to that.

idk if the only way you have “decentered men” is by not dating them…you have not successfully decentered men 😭 sorry to break it to you

[plumtired]

hello hello!

i'm Kaya! Black transneu goth femme lesbian. this is my main blog, here’s (most) of my face

interests include: EGL, purple (the color), ballroom history+culture, lesbianism generally & studfem(me) especially, food, communism, burlesque, fashion, disability justice, anything goth, art+writing, loc hairstyles, sewing, HRT, medieval West and North Africa, transfeminism, and more

this blog is mostly sfw, but i'm an adult and would still prefer to keep it 18+ thanks :)

⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ tags જ⁀➴

things are tagged very simply because my memory is awful

photos of me is #self

things i feel describe me is #k.core

egl is #lolita #gothic lolita

#recall is my tag to save stuff

#collections is like a personal art gallery of my fave artworks on here

#booklist is. the book list lol

#lifelog is a sliver of my life

i keep a tag of posts/asks for continuous crowdfunding rqs, #cf or #aid

everything else tends to be rather self explanatory

i am autistic+otherwise disabled and love meeting other disabled lesbians 🫶🏾

that’s all for now!

[boydykecharming]

about me

†

danate

he/she

19

black (nigerian)

butch/stud4all lesbian

follows from @butch-in-shining-armour

dni: cishet men and women, minors, ageless/blank blogs, terfs, zionist

#etanadwrites for all my works

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

into: hierophilia, dacryphilia, intox, somno, edging/denial, overstimulation, humiliation, marking, praise/degradation, breeding, size difference, bondage, corruption

limits: orientation play, detrans, piss/scat, incest/fauxcest, ageplay, dykebreaking, gore, raceplay