#study: janet.

[clownfields]

janet is a lesbian. it's something i've been stuck on in this reread but i can't get over how her crush on cole feels so surface-level, like it's something she chose. because i think if janet actually really considered the concept of having feelings for cole, she'd probably just get the ick — she likes cole because she's the most popular girl in school and he's the most popular boy and they're supposed to make sense together. the idea that he'd be with anyone but her just annoys her because she thinks they're supposed to make sense but they don't and they wouldn't, which is why she's always so annoyed when she claims ronnie's throwing herself at cole (even when she hardly is) because why would he be with her best friend over her?

and her and ronnie are a whole other thing. this homoerotic rivalry between them that is genuinely so unnecessary especially when janet makes it about cole. she gets mad at ronnie for throwing herself at cole because "i couldn't even get with him" and it makes her competitive with her over a "prize" neither of them would ever win but it keeps her entertained. ronnie is her best friend but she also hates her. she's attracted to her and she hates that, she puts her energy into trying to look better than her / be better than her because that's always made more sense to her than just simply being attracted to her — janet can understand competition, she couldn't quite understand that she's gay. and with janet's mother being miss kettle springs + ronnie being miss kettle springs the year prior, this implies to me that she might've beat out janet and that made it all worse for janet.

janet and quinn are the loudest though. from both sides (quinn noticing they're wearing the same lip gloss but not knowing why she cares.. okay!) immediately once she meets her, she's decided that she can't let her in to their group. she's attracted to quinn and she likes what quinn has to offer, which is why she's so quick to shut her down every time she does. there's a jealousy there that she doesn't understand — she makes fun of her for being from the city but janet herself was also from the city and is now seeing quinn as the girl that maybe janet could've been had she not been relocated to kettle springs so young. but she's so back and forth with quinn and that's so intentional — some moments she's acting like she's obviously their friend and then some moments she's trying to exclude her or she's going out of her way to tear her down. it's a back and forth that's happening in janet's head too, worried she's giving quinn too much and pulling back because she's afraid of what it really means.

but it's not even just that she's attracted to quinn — she respects her too. in a way that she never really respected ronnie even despite that being her best friend. quinn is tough and she seems sure of herself and she's everything that janet wants to be perceived as. ("was janet her new frenemy—was that what they were destined to be? or straight-up enemy? it was hard to tell; her behavior was erratic, her attitude sometimes sweet, sometimes aggressive.") she sees quinn latching onto cole and like with ronnie, she gets mad and takes that anger out on quinn because why would cole be with someone else when he could be with her, but it's just never actually been about cole. and the more she gets to know quinn outside of her infatuation with cole, the more she starts to let her guard down with quinn (even if not all the way).

i'm taking basically no influences from the movie for janet but her final words being "i hate you quinn" are also gay. to me. they understood that at least.

anyway in conclusion — janet is a lesbian but is mostly dealing with comphet, just in a very different way than cole was. so much of who janet is is calculated, from how she acts + how she dresses / styles herself, always crafting the perfect perception of everyone else, which is likely really encouraged from her mother, miss kettle springs herself (i'll have more to say about all that when i get to book 3 again). once i finish book 1 i'll figure out where i'm going with a janet lives au because i think there's a lot to unpack with her — there are a lot of redeeming moments for her in the end (not that she Needs to be redeemed just because she's a mean girl. to be clear). but i do think that there's a lot about herself that she wants to rework / understand about herself — accepting her sexuality comes easily once she befriends the three, i think. but i'll get to that later.

[clownfields]

"Her tone was why people thought she was such a bitch. Her tone and that she kind of was. Whatever—it was fun to watch the sheep quiver."

[clownfields]

janet lives au details, which will probably be my default for her because what i'm most interested in about her is everything we learn about her after she died✨

starting with what happened during the massacre:

she was struck by an arrow that was embedded into her collarbone. rust & quinn try to help her while also working to defend themselves, janet carries an unloaded gun with her (unknowingly), and then rust loads the gun when they have to leave her behind in the corn. left in rust's shirt, with rust's gun, after rust worked so hard to save her life, and after she'd finally apologized for the shit she'd put him through the last few years, she's left alone, scared, barely managing to survive, and reflecting on the person she'd been in high school — realizing that people like rust didn't deserve the way she treated them, that he deserves more than just a last-breath apology, and this weighs heavily on her as she waits for help + continues to suffer.

she goes unconscious in the corn for a while, wakes back up to see that the massacre is really happening + she's still not to safety + rust and quinn have yet to return. she overhears people talking about "targets" and assumes that the cops are there now— but then she hears talk of "the murray girl" and realizes she's a target. when the clowns start moving, in the direction of where she's hiding, she makes herself small + quiet despite the unbearable pain and is able to stay hidden. she knows she should shoot them, but she couldn't will herself to act.

she started to hear some of her peers coming from the barn and assuming they were headed towards safety, janet aware that no one was safe at all, that it was up to her to warn them + save them. janet's never thought of herself as a hero nor has she imagined this responsibility would ever be on her — but she's also aware that she should already be dead and this is the last thing she may ever do.

she takes pride in kettle springs, finally. it's not the place she wanted to be when she was first brought there and she always resented her mother + stepfather for forcing her to go there, but... it's her town, it's her home, she's one of the people here, and she realizes how badly she actually wants to fight for it once she realizes that people are trying to ruin it.

she leaves her hiding place + runs out to warn her peers, determined to kill the clown that had just walked by her hiding place + warn the others about the fact that there were more than one clown chasing after them. she seems erratic because of her injuries and because of her panic, but she's able to warn them, mostly, stopped short when she tries to tell them why they're being targeted.

a frendo followed her from the corn with a circular saw, chasing after janet and easily catching up to her. as the frendo takes a swing at janet, quinn's able to shoot him just in time (janet doesn't get beheaded, nor does she trip over her own head, sorry).

details post-massacre:

janet finds out about her step father's involvement while she's in the hospital. alec never hid his hatred for janet, but he was better at masking his hatred for her mother, twisting it into something else. janet noticed it but felt she was long past being able to talk any sense into her mother. so she's not surprised by alec's involvement. up to tumblr user baypen on whether or not she finds out rust is the one to kill him but i hope she does because she's already gained so much respect for rust and this would just emphasize that.

vivian's arrest comes after janet's funeral but it's kind of unclear to me if she turns herself in or she's caught — i'm still working out the details on this specific part, but janet feels the ultimate betrayal from her mother. at least she knew alec hated her, she didn't have to be surprised, but how could her mother choose that man over janet? she knows she lost her mother long before this when she married him, but it's still hard for her to process. she also doesn't know what story to believe — the alibi that vivian was home regretting her involvement or the rumors that she had been the one who nearly beheaded her. vivian requests to talk to her multiple times, and janet refuses.

janet would be publicly recognized as a survivor. her step father's involvement (+ death) would be known, and her mother's arrest was highly publicized too. she's not included as one of "the three" but is associated with them anyway, and she's not as recognized them, but when people hear her name, she is known as the girl who had both parents try to kill her. it really hurts the brand she's been trying to build for the last few years.

she comes out as a lesbian pretty quickly after the massacre. her "crush" on cole was such a big part of her comphet that i think seeing him with rust, seeing them happy together + how they fit etc, kind of makes everything fall into place for her — she realizes that it wasn't a crush she had on cole but a sense of familiarity she couldn't differentiate from (and also just... becoming a little more aware that it was about status for her rather than anything genuine).

last point also means: she's more aware of her feelings for quinn. she doesn't really know what to do about them.

she has a newfound respect for rust after everything and the demeaning term of 'redneck rust' she'd used for him for years is now spoken as a term of endearment — though she's not really sure if rust sees it that way. she also doesn't really care to check in. the point is that she likes rust and respects him for how he helped her, even if she was a little bitter to later find out he gave her an unloaded gun (she understands why. still, bitter). i think maybe someday she's interested in learning how to use guns but her pride stops her from outright asking rust — but if quinn were to mention he's training her to fight then she'd (nonchalantly) insist she'd join.

she continues to refuse any contact with vivian, and once learning about her involvement with the church years later, how she'd helped the people there, she eventually regrets it.

janet works really hard to get ahold of her brand again, focused on her own content rather than just being the girl from the massacre. it's hard, and it's a slow process, and it's frustrating, but she gets there eventually.

she helps cole's project of rebuilding kettle springs because she does genuinely believe in it — it's a place she learned to call her home and she doesn't want to let go of it that easily. that also doesn't mean she intends to stay there for long, either. she finishes out high school and eventually moves back to cincinatti — also perhaps tries to reconnect with her birth father, but i'm still trying to figure out where i want to go with that.

[clownfields]

trying to work on my janet lives details but know that her dynamic with rust is going to be so crucial in it all. this passage especially is so good to me. her apology is genuine and kind of unprovoked (for HER, obviously he deserves it and is literally trying to save her life) but she needed to say it in the most janet way (still with an insult). and then he calls her a spoiled asshole and she smiles because she respects him for hitting back 🤍 they will be friends mark my words (I have many thoughts on how his relationship with cole inevitably helps janet come out but that’s for later)

[clownfields]

happy pride to her

[clownfields]

🏳️‍🌈 + janet

i think janet dealt with a similar comphet experience as cole but i've recently been leaning towards her being a little more aware that she's a lesbian. some part of her understood it and didn't want to be that so she tried to ignore it. she thinks of relationships as a business deal + branding rather than something that can be genuine and real.

which is why she is so fixated on the fact that she and cole would've made sense together, even though if you actually asked her why, she wouldn't be able to give a genuine reason. because realistically, cole would drive her crazy in a relationship. it's so very clear that they're not suited as a relationship even beyond both of them being gay, but she ignores that because he's the most popular guy, she's the most popular girl, and if anyone's dating the infamous cole then why wouldn't it be her?

it's branding to her but it's also rooted in her being gay, because ronnie treats her and matt like a power couple and janet really despises it; she knows she and cole would so easily outdo them which comes from a place of her buried feelings for ronnie (which is really surface level attraction than it is genuine feelings, but that's another post).

she convinced herself that she liked cole / wanted to "win" cole because 1) it made sense, via their social structure, 2) she thought if he was going to be with anyone, it should be her, especially over ronnie and especially over quinn (again, if she's attracted to that girl, she definitely doesn't want to see her with the guy she thinks should 'realistically' be with her), 3) it would've been great for their video channel and they could've done it better than ronnie and matt.

she's vaguely aware of her attraction to women and it's frustrating, which is why when she is attracted to a girl, she's so quick to try to make an enemy out of them and push them away so she doesn't have to consider an inevitable rejection. it's safer if she doesn't think about real feelings and just considers relationships as some sort of business.

but i do think that if she got out of kettle springs, she would've felt a lot more free to be who she was and explore that side of her. i also think her feelings for quinn would've been impossible to ignore if they survived that night together, and a near death experience, plus everything that happened with her parents, would've pushed her to take risks (i.e. — be straight forward with quinn. even if she would've much rather baited her into saying something first).

[clownfields]

cole and janet were homecoming king & queen. what if you were a repressed gay man and repressed a lesbian and you were forced to dance together with crowns on. most repressed and gayest court of all time in kettle springs. i've been considering the concept of cole being able to clock janet which is really funny because she's practically a mirror to him but it's easier to see that in janet than it is in himself.

i also imagine kettle springs treats homecoming royalty as far less important than miss kettle springs but despite the pageants her mother put her through and her mother's own legacy, janet still lost that to ronnie so out of spite, janet does her best to discredit the miss kettle springs contest and to attempt to make homecoming queen seem far more desirable — especially because ronnie was still a homecoming queen nominee.

[clownfields]

what a perfect description of janet and horrifying foreshadowing. 10 stars