Hey so. Put your hands in your pockets, away from me. Behind your back. Something. Yeah. Okay, there’s a small problem here that I think some people haven’t accounted for. No, it’s okay, it’s not a crime to be a fucking idiot. Let me explain:
You see, it’s sort of embarrassing, but I have a tickling fetish. Oh, yeah, okay, I thought I might have mentioned it before. So what that means, in my case, is that when I get tickled, I get horny. NookayWAIT. Wait. I’m not done yet. No no I’m getting somewhere. So, I get horny when tickled. Remember a few weeks ago there was this whole bit where I wasn’t allowed to touch myself? Ahuh! That’s the one. Yeah, like, physically incapable. Can’t even grind? Or like. Do anything remotely capable of being pleasurable. Physically incapable, that’s the important info. Yes. Okay. So. Circling back to my previous point (the one where I get horny when tickled), when I get tickled, I get horny, and then I can’t… yeah. Yeah. Exactly! Can’t touch. Just get horny and have to sit there. Yes it does fucking suck, thanks for noticing.
Alright, way I see it, there’s two easy solutions for this little glitch. 1) I’m allowed to touch. See, if I can touch, when I get tickled (and thus get horny) I can fix that little problem myself. Problem solved. If you don’t like that one, well, solution 2) I stop getting tickled. If I’m not being tickled, I won’t get horny, and so— why are you fucking smiling? I won’t get horny and so won’t need to touch. It’s… shut up! It’s a win win. IT’S A WIN WIN! Oh go fuck yourself. What the fuck do you want from menonowaitgetawayfrommeWAITWAIIITTT—
