#subject:archivist

[themuppetarchives]

This is Jonathan Archivist coming to you live from the 70mg edible I found in my desk drawer.

[themuppetarchives]

id like to make a statement from an anonymous member of many communities.

archivist, id suggest you keep your... heh, eye, on as many of the blogs as you can. people are not who they seem. people have many faces, many names, many identities.

I am people.

games aside, or rather, games started, I will tell you that I, whom you may call faceless one, have infiltrated this community from every angle imaginable. over time, I have slithered into the backbone of this world you call a home.

watch out, archivist... for my masks are varied and spread far.

I watch all.

-the faceless.

So it begins...

I knew that it would be a matter of time before I was approached in such a manner. It has happened before. To Watch as I do is to uncover all secrets, to reveal the darkness underneath, to stir the creatures that lurk there. Yet even these monsters are not immune to the compulsion to reveal, and so they come as the others do, descending into the archives to give their statements.

The Faceless One, is it? How interesting...many masks from which so many eyes watch as I do...

This is certainly a development, but hardly one that comes as a surprise. While it has not been one the primary threads I have been chasing, the proposition that there is an entity that has bled its way into the multiple facets of this twisting fractal of an investigation is one I am incredibly willing to accept.

You have presented me with an interesting game, Faceless One. I've got my Eye 👁️ on you.

[themuppetarchives]

Jon? You’ve found yourself Somewhere Else as well? I’d been worried. I’m.. also in a peculiar way, the fog that once pulled me feels just as close, but I feel protected by the warmth of the felt..

-Martin B.

Martin?

I...

Is that really you? I had...I had assumed I was alone here. Assumed and...hoped...hoped that you had been spared from this madness and escaped this wretched path.

You and others, of course. All of you. Collectively.

(I cannot deny the tightness in my chest at seeing your name, the way I held my breath, the sudden scent of tea and Imperial Leather soap that you used...Oh Martin, I have missed you.) Please, Martin, do not give in to the embrace of the Felt. You are greater than its temptations, you have overcome more. Though this emerging power is insidious and ever-growing, we have faced its ilk before and prevailed. The Eye still watches the both of us.

[themuppetarchives]

awwwwwww, I do adore watching all of you scramble to hold yourselves together... adorable, really.

don't take it all to heart, archivist. its all fun and games, I'm sure you understand.

such cute little things! I've been watching you all. two can play that game. all of your adorable little squeaks and threats and conspiracies are soooo cute!

"I dont know who to trust", "who is the faceless?", "what the fuck?" "oh gee golly", "bet its a woman", psh. none of you have any idea how far my roots stretch.... mabye I should start leaving hints, yes? id hate for you all to fall apart over nothing but a tease...

-the faceless. watching you all with glee!

I see you couldn't stay out of the fray for too long, Faceless. You are, indeed, quite the provocateur. I would offer you the advice of building the suspense more, but I would so hate to indirectly be responsible for starving your adoring public of your tantalizing mystique.

I do wonder, though...why is it that you have chosen the archive as your conduit? It is an interesting choice, not that I am complaining. It is certainly a welcome deviance from the monotony and dread of my usual work.

You fascinate me, I must admit. Even more so after The Muppet Joker's reaction to your appearance.

The Archive is happy to accept your statements, as always.

Do keep watching, Faceless One, and I will return the effort in kind 👁️

[themuppetarchives]

Statement of Jonathan Sims, The Archivist, regarding recent occurences surrounding the phenomenon of "The Yellow Door". Transcribed by subject 12 June, 2024. Statement begins:

The door first appeared on 10 June, 2024, while Two was infected by the so-called "soul virus". A mysterious entity approached Two with offers of a cure, instructing them to travel to the astral plane and "look for the yellow door".

Since, there have been multiple sightings of the door by various parties, including an attempted investigation [See CID:5914 and CID:5701].

Perhaps most curious of all is gonzobatman's claim that, while he was "making up" everything about his soul virus (I had suspected this), he himself has begun dreaming of the door himself.

This leads me to several theories:

First, that the door itself is, as I and @muppet-blackwood originally suspected, a manifestation of the entity known as The Distortion [See index:entities] and,

Second, that the Distortion is manifesting as a shared madness spread amongst everyone who comes into contact with it. I believe this explains the soul virus as well, and I can draw several conclusions from how the virus manifested in Two. The Distortion feeds upon madness and unreality, two elements that are prominent across the muppetverse, and concentrate around The Muppet Joker himself. I do not believe he is the source of this madness, perse, but he does seem to concentrate, attract, and redistribute it. The influence of The Distortion has found a foothold in the minds of those involving themselves deeply within the brotherhood (both positively and antagonistically). This caused Two to react to the presentation of a spiritual infection as if it was reality, they themselves creating how the symptoms manifested within them influened by their own fears and the fears inheirted from The Muppet Joker (ie horses).

When 57 engaged in their research of the Yellow Door, they reported that what came through it was...a plushie horse. This is not a known shape to this entity, however it follows given the mind of 57 themselves - once again, projecting both puppets and horses as the chosen psychopomps to appear through.

Both Five and 57 have expressed the theory of belief as the medium through which these fears are manifesting. I do not necessarily disagree, but would propose a reframing of his perspective. Belief is indeed powerful, and it is in fact a fundamental philosophy of my own that belief is the foundational material of our shared realities (perhaps I will make a seperate post about this theology at some point, if there is interest). I would further define the idea of belief into more specific categories, such as Fear and Hope - both powerful forces in their own right. In this case, it is fear that is the driving power influencing how various entities are manifesting on this plane.

I would imagine, should someone outside of the Brotherhood (such as one of my fellow researchers, or one of the "enemies" of The Muppet Joker such as Mis, Denise, or Gonzobatman) were to approach the door, it would present itself not as a horse, but as something otherwise representative of their own driving fears. To what end? Perhaps none. It is not out of the realm of possibility that The Distortion has appeared for the sole reason of sowing chaos and discord. It may simply be bored and playing a game with us. I would encourage everyone interested to - and I understand the irony of this statement coming from myself - not overthink this. The more you doubt your own mind, the stronger the hold of this entity becomes. This is not a being of logic or sense, do not try to ascribe it any. Paradoxically, the more you try to understand it and make sense of it, the deeper into the spiral you're pulled.

I will continue to observe. Regardless of the reasoning, its appearance and sudden prominence is...troubling.

[STATEMENT ENDS.]

[themuppetarchives]

We will leave your little assistant alive for as long as you feed us, Archivist, though we do not understand your…favoritism for it.

We are the Eternal Hunger of the Mind, the all consuming desire to know and understand. The Hunger fits us nicely, it does.

We lurk behind the eyes of all, seeking and reaching and tearing and consuming all we learn.

We were present for the birth of Adam, we bore witness to his creation.

God was not a kind father, or a loving one.

Hold your little researcher tightly, Archive. Your threat to our well being should we damage him is noted. Know this, however.

More of my ilk will crawl from the abyss. More of my kin, present at the birth of Adam, will come.

👁️///👁️

The only thing you need to understand about Martin is that he is mine. You are in my territory, and my territory includes him.

I will feed you the Knowledge of what ended up with the other monsters who overstepped; you are not the first to attempt to consume the Archive.

If that is understood, then we can continue to exist symbiotically. There are enough distractions keeping me from me from my work as it is already. If you desire more Knowing, then allow me - and my assistant - to continue our work unimpeded.

I am interested in what You are, Hunger, the details of your ancient breed. I have...theories. Names are such small trivial things, such a mortal folly to cling to something as inconsequential as identity. The god I feed is as old as humanity; it feeds on them, consumes them, and is in turn created from them. If the Fears of humanity are powerful enough to reshape the world, one must ask what the fears of Angels breed.

If there emerges a new Adam, then it follows that another Serpent will slither into the Garden.

[STATEMENT ENDS.]

[themuppetarchives]

It was your appearance here that has sent everything down this path. Is your job not to be a fly on the wall? Now Two is cursed, Five is haunted, Fifty Two is damned and Gonzo has turned to the dark arts. Not to mention the croaker himself has only dropped deeper into his pit of dispare and insanity.

You have invited Cosmic horrors into an already mad world. Spilled your inkwell so to speak. Will you step in, or continue trying to keep your distance?

I have...been pondering this for a while now. I do not disagree with you...my presence has had a marked effect. I truly did not intend to get so...thoroughly involved. I never do. Yet, it seems as though I am always pulled in.

Perhaps it was always an inevitability - the contracted fate of the unfortunate soul marked as The Archivist...

I do worry, about The Croaker. I maintain my sincerity of belief in the sincerity of his belief, and do not want to cause undue stress or fear. I truly do not want to cause anyone harm. It truly pains me to see his fear. Have I made the troubled mind of my subject more troubled still my turning my Eyes on him? Have I invited further strife into his soul?

Is it too late to remove myself? I believe it may be...or, more accurately, that removing myself at this juncture would simply...create a void that would be filled by someone - or something - with less ethical qualms and self-control than myself. Surely it is a testament to my continued humanity that I am struggling with this? That I have my doubts and fears and guilt still so close to hand, that they keep my mind awake with worry.

I still have the deep, unshakeable need to observe, to catalog, to Know. Perhaps it is best that I...step back and focus on the Work. I am behind in my original goals, there is much to be done. Maybe it is in the best interest of everyone for me to leave the more...active research in the hands of others now. After all, there is a community of fellow onlookers and researchers now, opposed to when I started. There are plenty of Eyes to keep watch on current events while I retreat into the stacks to do the real work of a...proper archivist. After all, that is what I am. What I am meant to be. I admit to the appeal of the thought of the relative safety and comfort of indexing and tagging...

[themuppetarchives]

We have solved your puzzle once more, though this time we will deliver the answer to you directly, as we were not the one who shared the last answer with your little assistant. Still, your puzzles are…filling.

“I BELIEVE THERE IS A NEW POWER EMERGING HERE TO ASCEND MAN MUST FIRST FALL THE OLD BROTHERHOOD OF HUMANITY MUST EMBRACE ITS EXTINCTION AND USHER IN ITS REPLACEMENT HUMAN SOULS IN BODIES THAT DO NOT SING TO THEIR FLESH A BREEDING GROUND OF A NEW MADNESS”

You, Archive, feed us well.

The Distortion, The Spiral, it seeks to intervene. That much, we are sure you know, is obvious.

The Distortion was there at the birth of Adam, at the fall of Mankind, to prey upon the creatures of the earth.

👁️///👁️

I am glad to be of service. As I said earlier, our relationship can be symbiotic.

And if I'm correct...you will be getting quite a feast soon, it'll be well worth waiting.

I must admit to a certain professional satisfaction in my role as curator. If nothing else, I am still The Archivist. I am the Archive.

The Distortion is, by its nature, unpredictable, though it still has its habits. Still, I thought there would be more time.

Something here draws the powers, it draws your kind, it called to me. It follows it is calling to us all, those like us. There is only so much coincidence a m-...that I - can tolerate, after all. You are here, the Distortion emerges...

Which brings me to my next observation...you have an imposter. As do I (I have not sent anyone an anon, but I have seen several asks signed -👁️ or a variation). I do wish I didn't always have to be right - I have suspected the presence of the Stranger since the beginning. In fact, it was my pursuit of proving its influence here that got me involved in the first place.

The world ended. The world...reborn.

Just as we are.