#suburbandad

[slowlysassywhispers-blog]

we're both physically exhausted and daydreaming of bed in this photo. ant took nala to the vet and i bought groceries. we're truly adults

[where-2]

John

Ever see those guys going 90 miles per hour on the side of the road on a bike, sporting a human leotard that makes them look like a giant baby? Yeah, that’s John. He’s a real “apple a day keeps the doctor away” kind of guy, always trying to force his gluten-free veganism on you when you really don’t want to hear it. The thing with John is, he doesn’t know his preaching bothers the crap out of you. He is completely oblivious to his suburban dad-ness, and thinks every syllable he speaks is gold.

John lives in a McMansion on Greenway Road, with his wife Greta and his two kids Abby and Bryson. Who, you guessed it, play team sports. No way John is going to let his kids grow up to be a couple of degenerates knocking over displays at Hot Topic. No, not on his watch. They’re going to be dermatologists or hygienists just like he and his wife, and go to the prestigious prep school in town. Then, they will study abroad, join sororities, and live a cookie cutter life.

He may be annoying, but John, in all his suburban, tanned glory, might just be someone to look up to.  Yeah, he’s that guy you try to run away from when you catch his eye at the grocery store. And sure, he may have a too-pearly-white cheshire cat smile. But, he only wants the best for everyone. I cannot believe I am saying this, but I think we could all use a John in our life. That little voice whispering in our ear, “That’s loaded with trans fat, try an avocado instead”.  

[punkecodavid]

This 4th of July break is spent with my dad who lives in West Chicago. I was just at nearby Fox Valley Mall with some bathrooms that play classical music, a merry-go-round, a routine purchase at a Hot Topic wherever there is one, and a store which was dominant before online music purchasing/streaming era that just won't die... #aurora #westchicago #foxvalleymall #4thofjuly #familytime #fyemusic #oldschool #recordshop #suburbanlife #suburbanmall #suburbandad (at Fox Valley Mall)

[edwinjgoitia-blog]

Daddy's little girl. #suburbandad #suburbanlife #fatherhood (at Aurora, Illinois)

[ididmyownnails]

#SummerofScience #yearoftheIrrealisMood #Quiz #SuburbanDad @tobiasmacintosh @terrebill @ledouge (at Glenfield, New Zealand)

[slowin-thedark]

~call 4 submission~

woke up v hungover this morning (didn't remember when i fell asleep or took my clothes off) and thought to myself that it would be perfect to go outside naked and smoke a cigarette. ofc i couldn't rly do tht  bc im p sure my landlord is around somewhere. so now im lying naked in the dark with a lot of time in my new room and i hope i'll be able to do tht later this summer. anyways realizing that i'll be in the valley this yr for the first time as a non student, i wanna occupy that nü free time well.

but first to get back to nakedness and bodies, if u kno me u kno tht i have a self-proclaimed distrust and hatred of bodies, but its not thaaaaat cut/dry.

first off, i rly don't like the fact that i can't exist immaterially, i don't mean just as a soul tho||virtually, kind of dislocated more like. i dislike that our minds are so dependent on the state of our bodies--------it scares me bc im so horrible at taking care of my body. i mostly hate tht were told to love our bodies and care for them always. mostly because i think its totally cool to hate yr body. (the body pos mvmt is great if thts wat u need tho_) and maybe all of my feelings are kind of bratty and borne out of the privilege of being lauded as totally okay and pretty physically, but its still real (also its way more my ~cyberpunk fantasies~ that inform this sentiment rather than sum appeal to societal conventions surrounding beauty).

but also, if you've talked to me or seen any of my other internet presence, its clear tht im absolutely fascinated with bodies, nothing quite like em. fucking shitting eating licking whatever. i luv to feel other ppls bodies, i luv to see them naked, i luv to see all the parts, i luv to take picts of them. i luv the weird snapchats, sexts/texts, emails with yr parts, yr excretions.

anyways, its nothing nü for the world. im not the first person to think this way, ppl have always felt this way, but i think this is what i wanna focus on creatively (other than making music) this year. ever since i recently applied for a job where in the interview i was asked if i volunteer or "do anything" other than work and hang around, ive been obsessed with trying to find tht "anything" so this can be tht "anything". i want picts/vids of all my friends parts and i wanna gift you something. i dunno how it'll be realized, but i know i wanna fuck with/love with/hate with yr parts.

so send me picts/vids of yr parts tht r usually in the dark (clits/tits/dicks/anything inside/outside/inbetween/vom/shit/jizz/piss/bile/sebum/pus/snot/blood/'druff/tattoos u hide from yr parents/whatever as long as yr "naked"--gear is cool). u can submit here if u have a tumblr (i won't publish the pict itself ever), u can figure out how to send a link thru the ask function (same no publishes here either unless their actual questions), u can text me and u can also do it anonymously (as long as yr over 18), fb me, private insta watever. so pls, send away and help me make sum freaky art. i'll post the progress here, nvr the source material and hopefully i'll make something tht u can look at. it'll prbly be sum zines/collage work/glitch shit but who knows!

(also i hope u loved my title pun)