#sudden noises

[4fourtytwo2]

Stolen Away- a short composition.

More or less the bgm of a panic scene is a movie or something.

I wasn't kidding when I said I was a composer.

This composition was made to represent the panic and feeling of helplessness of having something close to you, stripped away, with you unable to do anything.

I had Color and Killer in mind while making this.

Made using:

Music- band labs

Title screen- Flipaclip

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obsessed with this video

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[ygmtwr-atrus]

doors

I realized just now that my own anxiety has become so normal to me that I regularly underestimate how bad it is or that other people don’t live like this.

EVERY damned time the doorbell rings I get a stab of anxiety and fret about having to answer the door... because I have no idea who it is or what they want. IDK if it will be an ex who’s found me, or a landlord who suddenly has a problem, or a sales person who’s going to try to pressure our lease-holder into buying something scammy, or if it’s personally delivered bad news or fucking what. 

If I order a pizza or something though, the next door ring or knock is fine and my stomach growls... but literally any other time it’s INSTANT PANIC mode... and probably for no rational reason whatsoever...

And it just... it just occurred to me that that is not normal. That other people generally don’t live like that.... that it’s just me that’s instinctively terrified that any loud sound or interaction will potentially come attached to some horrible life-changing disaster... 

This is not normal. 

I’m the same way with the phone ringing, thank gods it’s only ever my doctor’s office or my mother and literally never anything else. [I blacklist people hard :) and my phone number is unlisted and on the DNC :D]