And after I shot my throat and hit my lungs and brain with substances I was told would ruin my life, I realized the only thing that has ruined my life is me, and that drugs and vodka make me okay with that. More than okay. Okay enough to forgive myself for a minute or two and pretend I was perfect for you. I grabed your hand and didn't let you go. Something I would never allow with a clear mind because you and I are too much broken glass and we'll cut eachothers hands if we play too much. (She is trying to keep me away from you but I want to always be near you.) For tonight though, i'm fucked up my darling. So carry me into the cooling twilight among the whisperings and rabbles of vodka and running to New Hampshire to abandon this pained life. We'll be a neon blur walking in the middle of the road, you'll look up at the stars and i'll look up at you. (You are the nebulas i've looked at all my life and have fallen in love with. How can I stop loving something i've loved my whole life?)
