#superhighschoollevelmotivation

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

Hello Togami! This is a silly question, but I'm a cosplayer, and the next costume that I REALLY want to make involves showing off my shoulders and arms. I'm really self concious of this because I used to get bad acne across there and my back, and ended up deliberately scratching at the scabs to make them worse (I was self harming at the time but no fear- I have overcome this~) but now I have horrible scars that won't leave. On top of this the character is unnaturally skinny and male (c).

(c) where as I'm female, and concerned that my roughly average weight would work against me. I really really want to do this despite my insecurities, but I have no clue if it's a good idea or if there's anything I can do to help any of these things? I'm worried people will judge and make fun of me at the convention... Thank you~!

Now, dear friend. I don't think any of this is relevant at all to cosplay. 

If you consider acne and your scars to be a serious deterrent for your cosplay, buy some concealer and have a friend help apply it and blend it to your shoulders and scars. 

One's sex and weight is irrelevant. I consider cosplay culture to be a labor of love, whether they be dressing as myself, a hard reptile, a superhero, a magical girl, or a pink ball with red shoes.  

(A footnote from Hifumi Yamada: Anon-dono, weight isn't an issue! I've recieved many, many compliments of my Booko-chan cosplay!)

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

Togami-san, I'm having a hard time dealing with a fear I have. I'm terrified of dying. I get anxious thinking about what it'll feel like to not feel anything, what not being alive will be like, what not being able to talk or touch or be with people will feel like, and so on. I want to get over it because I know that death is inevitable. Help?

Phobias, my dear friend, are quite difficult to get over. Especially ones that you will inevitably encounter, bugs, water, and of couse, death. Perhaps it would seem less frightening if you did the following?

It's a cycle. People are born, they age, they die. It happens to everyone, and it won't just happen to you. 

Talk to someone - a friend, relative or therapist.

You will be remembered. As a friend, as a family member, as a student, as a teacher. It is important to keep this in mind. 

Don't become preoccupied with the end. Keep your mind on the present. Dying is frightening business, but don't keep it from living your life and enjoying yourself. 

Don't worry about it until it's on the horizon. You are young. You have over fifty more years ahead of you. Do not imagine the worst case scenario.

Perhaps it would help to create a more optimistic attitude or environment. 

In the words of Naegi, DO NOT LOSE HOPE. 

Belief in the physical is only one belief system. Perhaps it would help if you did some research into belief systems which include reincarnation? I feel that being born once more would get you past your belief that there is nothing after.

Keep in mind that death is not painful, even if there is reincarnation. It isn't. 

Remember that death is inevitable, but so is life.

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

And another problem. My friend hasn't been eating a lot at school. She used to eat a lot at school, but she hasn't been eating at all lately. She will sometimes bring some water or a protein shake, but never real food. When we get her to eat, she puts the food into her mouth, chews it a little, then spits it into the trash. She has a record of depression, and a record of going home for puking. I don't get what's wrong, and I'm worried, as she used to cut. What's going on? What do I do? -Maru

Based on what you're saying, Maru, it sounds like your friend probably has an eating disorder. 

I can't say I have much experience with them, but this is what I would do in your shoes.

Talk to her privately. Be gentle, and tell her you're only talking to her about it because you're worried.

If she wants to talk to you about it, she'll open up. If she doesn't, respect her boundaries. If she does open up, avoid "Please, eat"-type statements, and instead focus on what you can do to help.

Avoid talking about anything that may make her conscious of it, like weight or body shape, or discussing the weight and body shape of celebrities.

Try not to watch her too closely. It may make her uncomfortable, make her worse, or drive her away. Also, do not make it your sole duty. That may also drive her away.

Research eating disorders some more. I am by no means an expert.

If it gets worse and she doesn't seek help: Tell someone. That is not by any stretch of the word betraying her trust. It proves that you care and that you are worried.

If she doesn't tell you she's having a eating disorder, she either doesn't have one (which, based on what you say, is quite unlikely in my eyes), is in denial (quite likely), or she doesn't want you to know. 

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

Thank you, your words mean a lot to me, and the real friends that I have at school can barely help me, so internet friends are the next best thing. -Maru

Thank you. Seeking advice was the right thing to do, my dear friend Maru.

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

I have Aspergers, or high functionin autism, making me really smart with a 133 IQ but i have no emotional control. i have been bullied by this group of kids for two years they call me names like "cutter" and "lesbo" cuz my hair is short and gothic styled, make fun of my friends, push me, throw food, steal little things of mine like my lock from my locker and im skipping a grade, using my intelligence as a cover up to get away. im worried ill get bullied in the next grade what do i do? -Maru

High functioning autism, my dear friend Maru, is something extremely difficult to live with, and I'm so proud of how you've made it thus far. 

It's wonderful that you're skipping up a grade, Maru, you really, truly need this. You have done nothing to deserve the names and the bullying you've gotten, much less for a lovely hairstyle.

Now hopefully, as you're going up two grade levels (if I've interpreted your situation properly) you will be in an entirely new realm of maturity. 

Now, if I've either misread your predicament or misjudged the maturity of the locale, there is little you can do. Against bullies in a school setting, you cannot take no action, nor can you take too much action. If you take no action, the bullies escalate. If you take too much action, the school staff will intervene, usually not in your favor. The best thing would probably be to make the bullies realize that you do, actually, feel and suffer, just as any other human being does. Whether that be telling them outright that they've failed at basic humanity, or implying it more subtly, is up to you.

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

I love my friends very much, but my depression is tearing me away from them. Oftentimes, I feel so low that I can't even muster the strength to talk to anyone. It's killing me, because I love them. Do you have any advice, sir?

Do they know about your depression? If they do, you should follow Naegi's earlier suggestion about using a 'safe word' to indicate that you are too low to converse with them. Something disconnected from any conversation, such as 'Service basket' or 'negative scent'. 

If they do not, I suggest telling them, then following with the above. So that they know you aren't intentionally drifting apart from them. It would be a shame for them to misinterpret your low point as standoffishness. 

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

Togami-san, I hate everything about myself and my life. I absolutely hate everything that is going on. Everyone who has ever tried to help me has let me down, and they can't help it. Two of my family members are suffering and I can't help them even emotionally. I can't call suicide hotlines, and every chat option online that -says- it will help me is never there. If I had the guts, I'd kill myself right now. Why am I still here when nothing good will ever come out of this miserable existence?

You aren't as alone as you consider yourself to be. 

You aren't. 

I know you've probably heard things a thousand times, but things will improve. If all chat options are down, my dear friend, fanmail me a chatroom link and I will be your online chat option.

I guarantee you something good will come of this existence. Whether in the future you will create something to pave a path to the future, or save the life of an injured animal, or you fall in love, or you become an aunt or uncle, or you befriend a child who aspires to be you when he or she grows up. 

[superhighschoollevelmotivat-blog]

Mr. Togami, I am just so SICK of being yelled at by my parents I just literally start to cry. I can't take it anymore. I would say something as small as "Ah, too bad!" to my little sister and next thing you know, my dad is yelling at me. This frustrates me so much I just start crying. I don't like being yelled at, Mr. Togami. I hate it so much, and I hate crying, because it only brings more questions. What can I say to convince them to stop?

To me, it seems as if you have a case of clear favoritism among your parents. Your sister seems incredibly spoiled and incapable of dealing with the natural disappointments in life, much as you are incapable of handling constant criticism.

Now, whilst it may be difficult to do, communication is always my favorite solution with problems. Sit your parents down and have a calm conversation with them after having them promise to allow you to say what you need to say and tell them how hard it is for you to be yelled at. Try your best not to be hysterical - be as calm, emotionally disconnected and frank as possible. In my experience, hysterics get met with denial and despite what intuition would say (‘it provides a better argument for how difficult it is for me!’), it often provides parents for more fuel for the flames against you, such as accusing you of overdramatics.