“I see no point in living, if I can’t be beautiful.” -Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle (I watched this movie for like 10 times now including today XD)
Have you guys ever questioned yourself, “What is the purpose of my life?” or maybe “Why do I even want to live?This week classes were suspended, the rain was pouring as lie down on my bed while matching the mood with a cup of depression XD. Those questions keep popping on my head it made me think, “Why do I even want to live?”
Everyday, it feels like I’m living in hell anyways. At house, I feel hated. At school, I feel pressure. At my room, I feel sadness and I wonder why I still struggle to live. Why does my left hemisphere stops the right side of the brain from whispering to me “kill yourself.” Why does my heart refuse to stop beating when all it did was accept the arrows full of judgement. Why does my hand not continue to slice when the blade it’s holding was already touching my wrist. There I thought, maybe it’s because I want to be a somebody one day (to be a doctor actually XD). Maybe I want to prove that the words of those motherfuckers were dead wrong. Then I realized that maybe those thoughts, were the only things keeping me alive. It made me glad, realizing that I shouldn’t be discouraged easily to the bad things happening. Good thing I wasn’t too late to realize that XD.
Just like Howl realizing how Sophie is important to him right on time, literally. (He almost died in the story XD) Damn I love that couple XD.