synopsis: your coworker was extremely oblivious. he was literal husband material, bringing you coffee every morning, walking you to your car in the rain simply because that’s who he was as a person. you made every attempt to show how downbad you were for him, yet he thought you were his adorable coworker whom he hung out with. you needed this man to wife you up immediately and you wouldn’t stop until he finally took a hint.
tags: office!au, coworker! au, fem reader, fluff, sexual implications, alcohol consumption, seokmin is very oblivious, seokmin is a sweetie, reader is a bit of a gooner, downbad reader, smut mdni!! , protected sex (yay), face sitting, oral (f), riding, subby whiny seokmin 🤓, dom! reader, dk nose.., overstimulation, mentions of driving under the influence
first part of the svt record store series : a song based series for ot13.
notes: happy new year everyone! the first product of the series is here! seokmin we yearn for you… anyways hope u guys enjoy! playlist in rotation is perfectly curated for every fic it enhances the experience (trust bro..) thank you to @orbitondgtl for beta reading ur the best!
now in rotation: where is my husband- raye | the boy is mine remix - ariana grande, brandy, monica | man i need - olivia dean | stereo driver - q | multiply - woodz | inferno - jmsn |ride - lolo zouaï | just like that - snoh aalegra | toro - remi wolf |
dividers by @cafekitsune!
Lee Seokmin had no idea how frustrating he was to your existence.
He was the epitome of work husband. Your cubbie mate had the habit of bringing you a fresh pastry from the small shop near the office every morning accompanied with a cup of iced coffee, just how you liked it. How he learned your order was something you still questioned, but you appreciated the motion.
Seokmin was a fan favorite on the fifth floor of your marketing team. Every morning, he greeted whoever he walked past with that killer smile of his, the singles of the office eyeing him carefully. You heard the whispers from your coworkers; everyone wanted Seokmin. Your coworker Dohyun had a smug look on his face, already plotting how to catch his attention. Something about bending over the printer and acting like he needed help.
You couldn't help but snort at his stupid plan over lunch at your favorite place nearby, chatting with your other colleague and friend Meera.
"Listen, I don't know if that man is just straight or there's a little sugar in the tank but I've got to find out if I can change him."
You and Meera laugh. Dohyun was never short of confidence.
"Dohyun, you can't just derail her plans to make him her work hubby!" Meera exclaimed, your number one supporter of your delusions.
"Yeah? How's your eye contact-ulationship going so far?"
You roll your eyes hard as Meera sputters a laugh next to you.
"I'll have you know he brings me, only me, coffee every morning. Who else in the office does he do that for?" You glare, daring him to say anything back as he shrugs, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Oh okay, that's what I thought."
You could say you were delusional but why else would Seokmin go out of his way to bring you treats on the daily?
That very morning he strolled up to your desk, his signature smile radiating as he gently shook the bag filled with your breakfast.
"Good morning!" He beamed at you, placing the bag and iced macchiato down on your desk. You smiled back at him, his brown eyes glowing brightly.
"Morning Min, how's your morning going?" You spoke sweetly, your voice going up an octave intentionally.
"Well considering it's only 8am, it's been good so far! The bakery started rolling out their spring lineup today!" He pointed towards the bag as you listened intently. Anyone who walked past and looked at you could see how you hung onto every word coming from his mouth.
"I got you a strawberry cherry blossom pastry, it's to die for."
"Thank you honey, you're too sweet!" You cooed, the nickname unaffecting him and he just grinned.
"Any time! I'll bring more tomorrow but I have a meeting in 10, I'll catch you later!"
You watched him walk off towards the meeting rooms with a sigh.
Were you really gonna have to start calling him baby to get it through his head?
After bickering with Dohyun about whether to carry out his ridiculous plan or not, the three of you finished up your lunch and headed back to work.
You spent the rest of your work day responding to emails and making adjustments to the weekly spreadsheets. You catch a glimpse of Seokmin coming back to his cubicle around mid day. Keeping your eyes trained to him so he felt your gaze, he makes eye contact and offers a small smile as he sits down with a sigh.
"Day full of meetings huh?" You poke your head over the divider, looking down at Seokmin with his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose. He usually didn't make his stress known but you knew he was overloaded with a new product campaign at the moment. Your brain churned with an idea, fighting to keep the smirk off your face as you cooked up a plan.
"Yeah.. just trying to touch things up before the roll out date. This might be the project that gets me a promotion finally." He gazes back at you. You swore you would get lost in his eyes before you cleared your throat, ready to put your plan in motion.
"That's great Seokmin! I mean, considering how important this promotion is for you is there anything I can do to help?"
"Actually.. I might take up your offer!" His head tilts as you could physically see him thinking. "Another set of eyes could help with anything I would be missing."
You damn near jumped for joy.
"Wonderful! How can I be of assistance?" You step out your cubbie, leaning against the wall dividing the two spaces. His eyes fall upon your legs briefly before turning back to his computer, going over the specifics of his design.
You come close to him, leaning over as you rest your elbows on his desk, claiming you needed to see better. You were so close you knew he could smell your perfume and the fresh scent of your hair products.
"Hmm.. What if we sharpen this sentence up a bit, change the background color and add another divider?" You toss a glance back at him, his eyes lingering across your face momentarily before he mulls over your words.
"I trust your vision!" He smiles, hands moving quick over the keyboard to add changes.
You stand up and place a hand along the back of his chair, awfully close to him. If you did this with anyone else, they could've picked up on your body language. This was Seokmin however, the man probably needed a flashing neon light saying ’I like you please let me sit on your face!!!!’ to get the clue.
You gave him pointers as the work day came to an end, moving back to your own cubbie to shut down your computer and start packing up.
"Do you have any plans later?" You hear your name as Seokmin is standing across from you, his glasses back on again as he blinks, waiting for your response.
You feel like your moment has finally come. Your months of flirting has come to fruition and he was asking you on a date finally.
"N-No!" Your voice coming out higher pitched than you wanted. "I don't have anything going on today." He nods, running a hand through his dark hair.
"Nice! Let's go grab some dinner! As a thank you for helping with my project." He zips up his work bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he looks down at you, your jaw falling slack.
"What? Did I spill coffee on my sweater?" He looks down frantically searching the navy pullover. You regain your composure and bump your hip against his, grabbing him and directing him towards the elevators.
"No cutie, I wasn't expecting you to ask me out though." You take a bolder approach, waiting for the doors to slide open.
"Ah! Well, It's more so a thank you for being such a good friend. I'll treat you!"
You were going to bash your head into a fucking wall. The elevator doors can close around your head at this point.
Good friend? Was he friendzoning you? Right…
Dinner with Seokmin was at a Thai restaurant, one of the best in the area. You ordered drunken noodles and he ordered pad thai to split both dishes amongst yourselves. You rambled about nonsense at work, how his meetings went, and the plans you were making to hang out that weekend with friends.
Never missing an opportunity to compliment him or flirt, he would just smile and say thank you, or "You're so sweet!", softly saying your name with a smile.
You honestly were contemplating straight up telling him you wanted to fuck him. His puppy eyes made it hard to pay attention to half of what he was saying, your mind wandering off into a dangerous place often.
"Earth to Y/N? Did you hear what I said?" He snickered at you as you snapped back to reality.
"No Min, I'm sorry. Can you repeat?"
He continued to giggle, shaking his head with a quick bite of noodle. "I said," He finished chewing, a small smile forming. "What time did you want to meet us on Friday?"
"Oh! I'll probably get there around eight."
He nodded, reaching over with a napkin to wipe the side of your mouth. You felt your body freeze up, his gaze fixated on your lip and the light brush of his fingertips along your face had you feeling faint.
You needed to get a grip and stop acting like a Victorian woman.
"Okay eight sounds perfect!" He continued like he didn't just cause your brain to short circuit, pulling his arm back and continuing to slurp his noodles.
There was no way he was this oblivious. You thought he was putting up a front, but Seokmin genuinely was missing all the flags. You needed to step your game up and immediately.
The next day at work you were bent down in the copier room, the printer acting up right as you needed important documents for your meeting in an hour.
"Fuck me, why does this always happen to me." You mumble, banging on the sides frustrated. Bending over you made sure the printer actually was plugged in— Soonyoung had unplugged it one too many times lately; when you heard someone huff a laugh behind you.
"Do you need help?"
You throw a glance over your shoulder to see Seokmin with his eyebrows up in his hairline, an enormous grin on his face.
Your face suddenly felt hot as you realized you quite literally were bent over the printer, ass poking up in your pencil skirt.
Dohyun was gonna be so pissed when you told him you unintentionally stole his idea.
"I- No I'm fine, the printer is just fucking with me." You straighten up with a huff of frustration. Seokmin pokes your side, his finger leaving a searing heat as he moves to press random buttons on the printer. Moments later, the familiar sound of papers coming out filled the room, Seokmin nodding to himself proudly.
"Fixed it, just had to do some maintenance real quick."
You felt dumb now, anybody could've pressed some buttons and fixed that easily.
"Thanks Min.." You felt sheepish for once, as he clicked his teeth, reassuring you most people didnt know how to work this printer here.
"Sorry you had to see me bent over the printer like that." You joke, noticing the way his eyes widened half a fraction as he waved his hands frantically.
"No, no it's okay! I didn't even think about that-" His eyes shifted down before he cleared his throat, mumbling something about needing to check his spreadsheet before he bid you farewell.
You were going to take that as a victory, the slight acknowledgment to your compromising position and how flustered he got.
Seokmin - 0. You - 1 .
Thursday morning you left a string of post it notes on his desk, getting in a bit earlier than Seokmin that morning.
'Are you http? Cus without you I am ://'
'I know you're busy, but please add me to your list of things to do.'
You were being a complete corn ball, facepalming as that was the best your brain could come up with running on four hours of sleep at 7:50am. You knew it would make him at least laugh, Seokmin loved corny shit.
When the object of your affections walked in throwing 'good mornings' left and right, you fought the smile off your lips.
"Good morning!" He said your name sweetly, the usual coffee and treat in his hand as you took them with a wide grin.
His attention was suddenly on his desk as he sat his own drink down, a confused look on his face.
"I know you're busy.." You heard him mumble out loud, eyes scanning the post its. A faint blush spread across his face as he laughed, amused at the cheesy pick up lines. That man had proofread your handwritten documents multiple times, you knew he would recognize your handwriting in a heartbeat.
"Did you see who left these? God this is hilarious!"
You felt your eye twitch, opting to take a slow sip of your coffee and shrug at Seokmin instead of crashing out.
"You don't recognize the handwritting?" You full send, you didn't want to remain hidden any longer.
"Hmm not really? Maybe it came from Minji on the sixth floor?"
Lee Seokmin was gonna cause you to rip your hair out and he had zero idea.
Friday rolled around quicker than you expected, the hectic work week coming to an end as the office slowly started getting emptier before 5pm hit.
You finished typing up your last email of the week when a presence appeared behind you. Seokmin was standing behind your chair— startling you badly, your knee slammed up against your desk with a wince.
"Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you. Just wanted to say I can't wait to see you later! We need some time to unwind!" You swirl your chair around and nearly choke at the sight of him. His white button up was rolled a quarter of a way up, veiny forearms on full display. His black frames sat heavy on his face, his hair ruffled and fluffy like the wind had it's time with him earlier.
You gulp, nodding frantically as your mind traveled to other places it had no business going right now.
"Right! Me too, I need to get dressed up and have a drink." You turn back to your computer, working on the last bit of your message. If you didn't get out of his face you were going to fucking bite his arm.
"You have emails to finish still?" The massive arms in question were suddenly resting against your chair, the other on your desk as he scanned your screen from behind you. You could hear his soft breaths near your ear and you wanted nothing more than to die. He had to be genuinely taunting you at this point.
"Uh- I- Uh just this one. Almost finished now!" You choke out, his presence backing up finally allowing you to let out a breath. He hums in acknowledgment as he goes to the opposite wall, shutting down his own computer and packing up.
"Hopefully it won't take too long. I'll see you in a little bit yeah?" He beams, waving before taking off towards the elevator. Joshua, the lead of the digital marketing team, throws an arm around Seokmin sharing his excitement for later as they disappear into the elevator.
You hit send on the email, closing your eyes briefly as the image of Seokmin fills your vision. He was driving you up a wall and you didn't know how much longer you could hold out before doing something heinous.
You get home and eat a quick bite, texting Meera you'll be ready in an hour. You fix your makeup and hair, not wanting to do too much but still look good. You opt for jeans that hug your body just right, a plain black top that showed just the right amount of cleavage and a pair of kitten heels. You're finishing your lip combo when you hear a horn honk outside, signaling Meera was waiting. You grab your purse and keys, locking up and meeting your friend at her car.
"Bitch you look hot! Your work husband is gonna be foaming at the mouth when he sees you!"
You giggle as you slide in her passenger, heading towards the bar your group planned to meet up at.
"Girl whatever, he hasn't reciprocated any of my advances, its getting frustrating. He's genuinely missing every one of my cues!" You throw your head back against the headrest, exasperated.
"At this point… you just gotta tell him how you feel." She glances at you as you side eye her like she was crazy.
"I'm pretty sure somebody confesses their feelings to him every other day and he thinks they're joking, being friendly, or he'll kindly reject them. I won't be different than any of the other people fawning over him." You huff, Seokmin being too attractive and too nice for his own good.
"Okay but he actually talks to you. Those other girls— actually not just girls but you know. They don't get a free coffee from him everyday. Nor does he share his umbrella with them to walk to their car. He doesn't take anyone else out for dinner in the office that isn't his friend group."
"What if I'm just one of the homies to him?" You pout, playing with the rip on your jeans as Meera sighs next to you.
"You'll never find out if you don't shoot your shot. No more subliminal messages and little notes. Talk your shit and tell him you want him. If he doesn't feel that way then you know you're just a homie. Otherwise get in that man's pants cus if it was me-"
"Please focus on the road." You laugh, cutting her off before she got too unhinged. You mull over her words though, deciding you need a little liquid courage to execute your plan.
You pull up to the bar and mentally prepare for the amount of alcohol you know Mingyu will try to force down your body. You and Meera walk in, scanning the bar for your coworkers before you hear loud laughter. You find Chan, Mingyu, Soonyoung, Joshua and Seokmin seated at a big table, orders of fries and wings along the table with bottles of soju and beer.
"Ah Meer Meer! Y/N!" Soonyoung waves, cheeks already flushed from the alcohol as you greet everyone.
"You look hot as fuck!" Chan winks at you and you roll your eyes at him. You feel a gaze burn into you, turning to see Seokmin eyeing you intensely, a faint smile on his lips. A chill runs through you as you smile at him, sitting across from him, Mingyu to your left and Meera on your right.
"Glad you made it out," he smiles softly at you, his gaze holding a weight behind it you hadn't noticed before.
"Perfect timing too! You two take a shot!" Mingyu pushes two glasses towards you and Meera, the two of you sharing a look before clinking glasses and throwing the shot back.
"Got peach just for you, I know you're a bit of a pussy-" you flip Chan off across the table as he busts out in laughter, warmth spreading in your chest from the single shot.
"Whatever, at least I'm drinking."
"I won't be having much else, I gotta drive." Meera states, followed by boo's from Joshua and Soonyoung.
The night ends up being chaotic, Soonyoung making you get up and dance with him, everyone drunk off their ass laughing and being loud. Meera calls it an early night, saying goodbye to you.
"You sure you don't want to just leave now with me?" She asks as you both wash your hands in the bathroom.
"I wanna stay a little longer honestly.." Your eyes meet in the mirror as her eyebrow shoots up, smug look spreading.
"Hoping to score a certain somebody later?" You giggle as your tipsy thoughts take over.
"Yeahhhhh."
She laughs at your tone. "If anything I'll get an uber later. Or force Mingyu to take me home."
"Girl he is not okay to drive, that whole group will be blacked out in an uber later." You laugh, wondering why Mingyu even brought his car knowing how he drinks.
"Get home safe please! Text me when you're back home!" You wave Meera off, the boys giving loud protests as she leaves.
You drink a little more with them, toeing the line between tipsy and drunk, resting your head on Mingyu's shoulder as you listen to Chan's drunken rant over the IT team at work.
"Bro, Wonwoo won't ever help me. He swears he's my friend but every time I have a problem with my computer he stares at me like I just killed his six kids." You laugh at Chan, his ridiculousness amplified now that he was drunk.
You glance at Seokmin, a lazy smile on his face as his eyes land on yours, holding your gaze for a long moment. He breaks away first, turning down towards his water. He stopped drinking a few hours ago, opting to stick with water as he was sobered up already.
"Minnie?" You call for him, his eyes wide as he looks at you.
"Yes?"
"Could you drop me off when you're ready to go please? I'll give you gas money." You offer with a pout, pleading with the beautiful man in front of you. He waves his hand, dismissing the gas money but promising to take you home.
The bar was starting to quiet down, your group getting ready to head out as Seokmin helped you get up, the others already waiting on their ubers and taxis. You bid your goodnight to your friends and colleagues — Mingyu promising you next time you'll have no flavored soju, wanting you to suffer.
Seokmin helps you out to his car, your knees wobbling a bit in your heels as you lean into his warm embrace. His cologne was faint, wafting down to your nose and making you feel dizzy. You wanted him so bad and knew the liquid coursing through you would affect your reactions.
He sits you in the passenger seat, closing the door and running around to start up the car. You glance at him, eyes heavy from the alcohol and fatigue of the day.
"You okay?" You hear your name and nod, your gaze unwaving from his. He feels shy under your glare, turning away to start the car and head down the road towards your house. The lull of the car rocks you to sleep, your eyes not opening again until Seokmin is shaking you awake gently in front of your complex. You hum, stretching and grabbing your bag when he turns the car off.
"Let me make sure you get in okay." He comes around and opens your door, helping you out. You weren't as drunk as he probably thought you were but you enjoyed being taken care of by him. You reached your apartment, digging through your purse for your keys as Seokmin has a hand around your waist to steady you; your heels in his other hand. You had made it to the hallway outside your apartment before having to yank them off your aching feet.
The thoughts in the back of your head run rampant, wondering if this would be how Seokmin took care of you as your boyfriend. You unlock your door and stumble in, Seokmin following closely behind.
"It's nice in here, very comfy, very.. you."
You lean against your door as you stare at him, Seokmin struggling to keep eye contact under your intense gaze.
"Thanks Minnie," You throw your purse on the floor, wandering to the couch and flopping down. He follows you asking if you'd like to just sleep on your couch tonight. You shrug and tell him you want to get out of your jeans. His eyes get wide as saucers, stammering as he questions where to get a change of pants.
"The bottom left drawer of my dresser.. a pair of shorts please." You mumble, feeling sleepy as he disappears for a second, coming back with your sleep shorts.
"Uh.. Um…So you can get out of them on your own right?" You crack an eye open and nod. Having no shame, you unbutton your jeans, beginning to tug them down.
His eyes nearly fall out his head as he whips his head around to give you privacy. In the darkness you couldn't see how deep red his cheeks were.
"Okay.. I'm good."
He takes a second to turn around, cheeks still burning as he takes in the sight of you spread out, legs on full display. His stomach flips in a way he knows he shouldn't think about his friend in.
He places a blanket over you, headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water for the morning.
"Seokmin."
He looks down at you as your eyes glow back at him, stare intense.
"Yes?" His voice wobbles a bit, uncertain where you may go in your intoxicated state.
"Why do you ignore my advances?" You pout at him, catching him off guard suddenly.
"Wha-What are you talking about?"
"I like you. A lot. And I have been very forward about it," He blinks looking like a deer in headlights as you continue on, tired of holding your thoughts back.
"The person who left the notes? That was me. I like you a lot like… I want you so bad fuck.. you and that damn nose of yours," He tilts his head at this, unsure of what you mean by his nose.
"My- My nose?"
"Shhh.. If you know you know. Anyways is it because you don't like me? You can tell me. It'll be easier for me to get over you then." He swallows hard at your revelation, heart racing as he had no idea you were into him.
"I think this is a conversation we should revisit when you're not intoxicated." He smiles softly at you as you whine, reaching for him. He keeps his distance, only allowing you to hold his hand.
"Fine, but don't go ghost on me."
"I promise not to." He kisses your forehead before he leaves you for the night, a deluded mess on your couch.
You knew your head would be pounding in the morning and you'd regret the words that flowed out your mouth.
The weekend went by without a word from Seokmin regarding your drunken confession. A confession you unfortunately remembered the next morning, turning to scream into your pillow when the memory resurfaced. He had texted you the next day asking if your head was okay and that he'll see you Monday. Not a word about you mentioning his nose. Perfect.
Walking into the office on Monday felt like impending doom, checking every corner for a sign of Seokmin. For the first time ever you wished your desk was nowhere near him. You were trying to make yourself busy by looking over your weekend emails when Seokmin appears in front of you, shy smile upon his face. In his hands your typical macchiato and an apple fritter.
"Thank you Min." You mumble, barely able to look at him as he nodded back, quietly shuffling to his desk.
The work day seemed to go by insufferably slow, the usual chattiness between the two of you was nonexistent today. The only sounds heard were the quiet clacks of keyboards, your insides feeling queasy all day.
5pm couldn't come sooner. You practically throw your items into your bag ready to leave like a bat out of hell when Seokmin peeks his head over the cubicle, making you jump.
"Hey.. Dinner at my place tonight?" His eyes plead, big and glossy like it would kill him if you said no.
"Yeah sure um, what time?" You swallow back the anxious thoughts while Seokmin scratches his head in thought.
"Mmm.. how about 7?" You agree and head out quickly, stilettos clicking against the tile feeling his gaze lingering on your back.
You rush home, throwing clothes out your closet as you plan what to wear frantically.
"Just be casual, he's probably going to bring up the conversation when you were drunk. I mean who knows where that'll go-" Meera spoke through the speaker of your phone as you made a rampage in your room.
"Should I shave every inch of my body? I shaved like 5 days ago..."
"A real man is gonna eat it regardless." You snort at her comment, she was like the little devil on your shoulder at times.
"Okay thanks babe. I'll talk to you later!" She bids you good luck as you rush to freshen up and head out to not be late for your 7pm dinner.
You pull up to Seokmin's complex, having to be buzzed in as you head up to the third floor. Your anxiety spiked as you shoot him a text that you're outside. You knock on his door and you're greeted with the sight of Seokmin, in a plain white tee and his black slacks from work, a kitchen towel slung over his shoulder.
"Welcome, come in!" His tone is as gentle as the smile on his face, stepping back to allow you into his home. His place was modern and sleek which you admired as you kicked your shoes off. You follow him into the kitchen, the aroma of his dish filling your nose just in time for your stomach to growl.
"Hungry?" He teases, your face getting hot as he pulls out two bowls. He made a delicious looking carbonara pasta with slices of pork belly that made your mouth water.
"Jeez Seokmin, this looks insane." You thank him as he hands you a bowl, two glasses of red wine already on the kitchen island where his barstools were situated. You sat down on one, Seokmin dragging another to be directly across from you as you ate.
You had small talk as the two of you ate, a tension in the air as you danced around the question you were sure was coming.
"Can I ask you something?" Seokmin swirled his glass, an anxious air around him.
"What's up?" You took a slow sip of your wine, stomach turning in anticipation. He took a second to formulate his thoughts, his expression conflicted as his mouth opened to speak before closing it briefly.
"Do you remember anything from Friday night? After we left the bar?"
You fought the smile off your face.
Of course you remember everything, you just hoped he wouldn't beat around the bush.
You hum an acknowledgement, nodding your head. A soft 'ah,' as he watched you carefully.
"So.. Does that mean you remember what you said to me on the couch?"
"What, that I liked you? Yeah, took a little alcohol to admit it but I meant every word."
His eyes shifted a million miles a second.
"You said let's revisit when I wasn't intoxicated so.. here we are." You shrug and take another sip waiting for his response.
"I- Okay," He swallows, adam's apple bobbing. "You said I didn't pick up on your advances. What did you mean by that?" Poor sweet, clueless Seokmin.
"The amount of flirting I did? The sweet nicknames, casual touches. The home cooked meals, the post its." Recognition flashes as he recalls you sharing that in your inebriated state. "I was sure you would pick up on something but my god you wouldn't know I wanted you unless I spelled it out for you. Which took this long to get here."
He took a deep breath, brows going up in shock. He thought he was mentally prepared for this conversation, coaching himself all weekend with the help of Mingyu, yet he felt stuck. The words he planned falling short on his tongue.
"I… I thought you were just being nice," he whispers your name, eyes casted downward. "I can't tell when people actually like me it's hard to pick up on. I just am shocked you have feelings for me too.."
You damn near dropped his fancy wine glass on the floor.
Were you getting hard of hearing or did Seokmin say he had feelings for you?
"Wait what? What do you mean 'feelings for me too.' You liked me all this time Seokmin?" Your eyes were wide as he stared back, eyes just as wide like a deer in headlights.
"Um.. Yes?" He scratched his head, a crooked smile on his face. "I didn't think I had a chance-" Your jaw goes slack. You have to set this glass down before you really shatter it.
"Jesus Minnie, I've been trying to give you hints for the past year!" You laugh, wondering how he missed your signs if he had feelings of his own.
"Oh no.. I feel so stupid now!" He groans, hiding his face in his hands. You reach over and touch his arm gently, his eyes peeking through his fingers.
"No love, you're just a little oblivious. It's kinda cute." You coo, tilting your head at Seokmin still taking refuge behind his hands. You pull them away from his face and slide your fingers between his, your thumb starting to rub slow circles into his skin.
"So what does this mean for us..?" He trails off, uncertainty laced in his tone. You remember him mentioning only being in one long term relationship prior, and no more than two or three hookups. He was anxious as to where things could go between you.
"Well you've been my work husband in my head for the past year so maybe let's make that a reality?" You joke, a cheerful laugh coming from Seokmin as he grins at you. He loved your boldness.
"Okay let's start slow.." You nod in agreement, not wanting to scare him off with your long running delusions.
"We're about to be the hottest couple in the workplace- oh my god I can't wait to see the look on Minji's face when she finds out!" You chew on your lip unable to contain your excitement. The most coveted man in your building had the hots for you, and only you.
"Also another thing you said… what were you saying about my nose?" The comment was engraved in his mind, not understanding what you meant at all.
A wicked smile spreads on your face as he becomes more confused.
"Oh babe, your nose is very rideable. Like.. I want to sit on it." You had zero shame in your game.
His face was comedic, mouth gaping wide like a fish as a blush rose across his cheeks.
"Wow that's… I have no words." He chuckles, shaking his head.
"I mean, if that's what you want.. let's try it." His gaze levels yours, a hint of timidity behind it— but a newfound fire burned in his brown eyes. A heat pooled in your lower body, the sudden shift in the room electrifying.
"Don't say it if you don't mean it.." You mumble, a last ditch effort to keep from losing all your sanity.
"Let's see if the hype is worth it hmm?" He smiles, running a finger along his nose playfully wiggling his brows as you laugh. "Can I kiss you?" He asks shyly.
"You don't even have to ask." You get up and round the counter, pulling him to his feet as you bring his lips down to your own.
He walks you to the counter directly behind you, your lips moving in tandem softly. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing harder to deepen the kiss. His built form presses against yours, hands strong on your hips. The intensity of your kiss made you groan against his lips.
"Minnie, I need you," You pull away and take in his form— lips pink and puffy, eyes glossy as he nods frantically.
"Tell me what you need," He leans down, pressing a fluttering kiss to your neck, leaving a trail downward. You sigh as your eyes flutter shut, your hand trailing down his chest towards the area you wanted attention from. Your hand brushes against his hardening length, a quiet whine pulled from him from the contact.
"Bed, now." You demand, pulling his hand in the direction of his room you vaguely remembered from a previous hangout.
You push him down onto the bouncy mattress, making a show of sliding your shirt over your head. Seokmin felt like he was dreaming. He had to be dreaming, you were unreal. You climbed on top of him, situating yourself in his lap before leaning down to kiss him roughly again. His pants felt awfully tight, the warmth of your clothed cunt against his cock was driving him insane.
"Baby," he whined under you. "Can you take these off please?" He tugged on your stretch pants, getting eager as he rubbed against you, his jaw slack. You grind down on him a few more times before sliding off, taking your sweet time to slide your pants and underwear down. You bend over, your glossy pussy directly in his line of vision as he moans at the sight. You were grinning like a mad woman knowing the effect you had on him already. He slides further back up the bed towards the headboard, motioning for you to join him.
You crawl on top of him, making your way towards his face. His hands find the backs of your thighs and yanks you over his mouth with a yelp. You're hovering over him, not setting your weight on his face as you feel his breaths hot against your center.
"Minnie, don't let me crush you okay?" You glance down at him, his eyes wide and glowing when peeking up at you.
"Don't worry, if I go I would have died a noble death."
You laugh at his comment, caught off guard by him pulling your cunt down to his mouth prodding the hole with his tongue. He licks a long strip along your core, the bridge of his nose bumping against your clit making you throw your head back in overwhelming pleasure.
He was humming below you, clearly enjoying himself, as he fucked his tongue in and out of your hole, his nose hitting against your clit in a way that had your legs trembling around his head.
"Minnie you're doing so good," You purr, one hand gripping his dark hair tightly while the other holds the headboard for support.
He speaks below you, muffled in your cunt. You lift up a bit asking him to repeat as he gulps, taking in shaky breaths.
"I said, you can use me. Go ahead and ride my face."
You wondered how many kittens you saved in your past life. The one thing you desired most, always joking with Meera about was actually about to happen.
"If you need to tap out, pat my leg four times okay?" You couldn't see his mouth but you knew he was smiling the way his eyes crinkled, giving a quick nod and a quiet okay.
You felt his thick arms wrap around your legs, dragging you back onto his tongue. Lapping at your clit leaving you shaking before he alternated between your hole and clit. Your hips moving as you grinded harder into him, quiet moans from Seokmin below you.
You started to pick up your rhythm, moaning loudly as he pushed you closer to your climax, sucking on your clit hard.
If he couldn't breathe he didn't make any effort to show, hums and moans vibrating into your pussy as you rode his face, nose bumping against you addictively.
"Minnie I'm-" You choke, a particular swirl of his tongue pushing you over the edge as you cum on his face hard. Your body shakes while you grind into his mouth, riding out the waves of your release.
He continues to lap up your cunt, the aftershocks of your orgasm leaving you trembling as you try to pull away. His strong arms stayed around you as he continued to fuck your hole with his tongue. You were moaning and shaking hard from overstimulation before a yank on his hair had him unclasping his arms from you.
"Holy shit Seokmin that was crazy." You whine, sliding off his face down his body to rest around his hips. Your dripping pussy was leaking onto his slacks, his cock throbbing from how hard he was.
He wipes his shiny mouth and nose with a grin, like he just had the meal of his life. The carbonara earlier had no comparison to you.
"That was so fun, please ride my face again." He pouted causing you to laugh. Poor Seokmin was pussy drunk, a single taste leaving him with a desire for more.
"Next time baby. Right now I need you in me." Your hands slide down his toned chest, reaching behind you to palm him through his pants with a long groan from him. You unbutton his pants and slowly drag them off Seokmin, his cock finally free and dripping from neglect.
"Condom?" You ask as he reaches over to his nightstand, blindly digging until he found a foil wrapper. You take it out his hands, ripping it open frantically. He watched with hooded eyes, chest heaving as you placed a kiss on the head of his cock. He jerked, a low whine escaping from the contact.
"Aww so needy baby. I got you my love." You coo, running a finger along his head to collect the beads of precum there. You jerk him a few times, the quick strokes making Seokmin moan loudly, bucking his hips into your hand.
You clench around nothing, eager for him as you roll the condom onto his cock.
"You were so good for me Minnie, I'm gonna reward you now."
"Please, please I need it so bad!" He whines, eyes bright as he begs. You slide back up, lining yourself up with his cock as you slowly sink down. His head falls back to the pillow in pleasure while you take him with ease. You moan once you bottom out, his aching cock twitching inside.
"You feel so.. so good.. oh!" He chokes as you swirl your hips, getting him riled up before you begin bouncing on his dick. He's a babbling mess under you while you ride him, bouncing roughly while his hands fist the sheets next to him.
His eyes were screwed shut, the pleasure wracking him in waves as you gripped him tightly, the sound of your pussy taking him filling the room.
You grab his hands, sliding them up to your breasts as Seokmin's brain felt like it was fried. He was so overwhelmed with the feel of your cunt sucking him in he couldn't even think straight. He needed a little directing as he was in a completely fucked out state. He gave a rough squeeze, pinching your sensitive nipples as you clench on him, head thrown back while you glide up and down his length.
"Please keep touching me Seokmin." You moan, feeling his hands slide to your ass and squeezing the flesh there. His mouth closes around your breast, sucking on the bud there.
You were putting in the work, your knees aching and thighs burning but you had a mission; a mission to absolutely ruin Seokmin.
His hips started meeting yours with every thrust, a whiney moan leaving him each time. His eyes kept fluttering shut as he fought from cumming too quick.
"Look at me baby." You slide your hands up his chest as he pries his eyes open, mouth hanging open at the sight of you.
"I'm- I-I'm so close," he whines your name, hands bruising around your waist as he helps guide you down his cock. You purposely squeeze around him knowing he was about to come, your hand drifting down to your clit to reach your peak as well.
His cock twitches inside of you as you swirl your fingers on your sensitive clit, your breasts bouncing in his face. He groans, chanting your name over and over until his eyes rolled back, his orgasm hitting him hard. He moans, hips jerking up as you milk him, your pace quickening as your own orgasm approaches.
"Minnie, I'm gonna cum now." You glance down at his dazed face, his hands on your ass as he pushes through his own overstimulation, fucking up into you to get your release.
You throw your head back as your orgasm hits making you see stars, pussy spasming while Seokmin shakes below you. You collapse into his chest, both of your breaths heavy and staggered as he drew circles along your back.
"You okay Minnie?" You ask, his flesh burning hot as he meets your gaze. His eyes were teary but the grin on his lips was too big.
"You're absolutely insane. I think I stopped breathing and it's your fault."
You giggle at him, slowly sliding off his softening dick. He peels the condom off and gets up to throw it away. You admire his back view before he disappears into his bathroom, returning to clean you up.
He takes his time, planting feathery kisses along your body as you sigh, a calm smile on your lips as he reaches your lips and planting a soft kiss there.
He puts his boxers back on and you slip his shirt on after running to go pee. His strong arms were around you now as he spooned you comfortably.
"I really don't wanna go to work now. Can we just say we're sick and stay here all day?" You groan, Seokmin chuckling as he buried his face in the crook of your neck behind you.
"Mmm I wish... it would be suspicious if we're both sick no?"
"I couldn't give a fuck, let the whole floor know!" You huff, Seokmin tickled by your antics.
"I'm sure it won't take anyone long to notice we're together now." You hum in acknowledgment, knowing how watchful everyone on your floor was of Seokmin.
"Good, those bitches are like vultures. Make out with me in the printer room maybe that'll get them to back off." He laughs, never having a dull moment with you.
"We're so getting fired if I followed through with your ideas."
"Whatever man, just know Dohyun was gonna bend over the printer to get your attention." He laughs comedically behind you, whole body shaking against your back at the revelation.
"No way! Is that why I caught you bent over it like that?"
"Um no… that actually was me just being stupid..."
"Dohyun would be so mad if he knew you spoiled his plans."
"Oh hush!"
The next day at work you had a pep in your step, ready to bare your teeth like a dog at anyone who approached Seokmin. You were a little territorial…
"Good morning baby."
You glance up from your spreedsheets from hell to see Seokmin beaming at you, the usual drink and breakfast in his hand.
"Good morning my love, please kill me before I blow up this computer." You groan, resting your head against your desk as he leans down, patting your shoulder.
"It's okay! I can help you with it in a moment." He puts your breakfast down and moves to set his own stuff down as you lift your head up, a big smile on your face.
"Really? If you fix this I will literally drag you to the bathroom and give you crazy sloppy head right now."
Your timing was awful as Mingyu walked past, his eyebrows shooting up as he looked between you two. Seokmin avoiding eye contact and turning beat red as you smirked, shrugging nonchalantly.
"Please no workplace sex. I don't want to report you two." He teases, shaking his head as he continues on.
You really had to work on your mouth now, Seokmin brought out the best (and horniest) side out of you and it was a matter of time before everyone would know.
Months of calling him your work husband lead to this moment, you could barely hold back from the watchful eyes on the fifth floor.
You hope Minji walks in on the two of you kissing one day.
You told one tiny lie about being engaged to Vernon. Now you’re spending Christmas with his entire family. Faking it should be a walk in the park, except Vernon is playing the perfect boyfriend a little too well, and it’s throwing you off your game.
Genre: fake dating, smut
Pairing: SEVENTEEN Vernon x afab!reader
Warnings: mature themes, explicit sexual content (18+) MDNI
Notes: 22k words. Loosely based on the movie The Proposal. Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you like this one <3
Disclaimer: I do not know them, nor claim they would ever in real life behave the way they were portrayed in this fic. If you see the same exact fic in a different blog, for ENHYPEN, that is me. I did not plagiarize myself. Otherwise, pls let me know.
You were halfway through a phone call when the elevator doors opened, one hand clutching your handbag as you rattled off reminders about deadlines, inventory counts, and the very real need to restock supplies before the holiday rush.
“Yes, by next week,” you said, already walking. “No, I don’t care if it’s ‘usually fine,’ I want the warehouse well-stocked and ready—”
You stepped onto the floor and kept moving, heels clicking, bag swinging. You didn’t notice the way the floor fell quiet the moment you stepped in. People scrambled back to their desks, suddenly invested in their screens, shuffling papers that did not need shuffling, answering phones that were not ringing. A few heads ducked. A few shoulders squared. No one made eye contact with the icy, headstrong, amazonian boss who had clearly woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
You.
Still mid-call, you marched straight toward your office, listening to your warehouse officer explain that the warehouse was well-stocked and ready for the holiday rush and that everything would be fine. “I’m not asking for some words of affirmation, Joe. Show me that this confidence is not unfounded. I need updated numbers by lunchtime.”
It wasn’t until you pushed open the glass door that you finally ended the call, pinching the bridge of your nose for half a second before refocusing.
“Morning!” Becca said brightly, already there, already holding out your iced coffee like an offering.
You took it without slowing down. She fell into step beside you, launching into your schedule like she always did—meetings, contracts, things that needed signing before lunch, and ones that could wait until after. You dropped into your chair, skimmed the first page of the file she handed you.
You were halfway through skimming the file when you noticed something in your periphery. You looked up and saw that there was a man standing just behind Becca. Tall. Good-looking. Broad-shouldered. Hands in his pockets. He was staring around your office like he had time to admire the view, eyes flicking over the shelves, the windows, the framed awards.
For a second, you wondered if you’d forgotten you were supposed to have a meeting with some model for your brand’s campaign.
You frowned. “Who’s your friend, Becca?”
“Oh—right! Sorry. This is—” She paused, then quickly nudged the man with her elbow
“I’m Vernon,” he said, smiling at you before Becca could finish. He gave a lazy little wave. “The intern.”
You blinked. The intern. He said it like this was a college club meeting. Or orientation. Or literally anywhere but here, where interns usually tried desperately not to be noticed. You stared at him. Then back at Becca. “Why is the intern in my office?”
Becca cleared her throat. “He’s the temp I told you about. He’ll be covering for me while I’m on maternity leave. Assisting you directly.”
You glanced back at him, unimpressed. “Is he ready for that?” you asked Becca.
“Yes. I walked him through everything,” she said quickly. “He’s picked it up really fast.”
“So he knows this isn’t a light workload? Long hours, hectic schedules, all that?”
Before you could respond, Vernon leaned forward slightly.
“You can ask me, you know,” he said. “I’m right here.”
The room went very still.
You stared at him, more surprised than offended. Most interns shrank under eye contact. Apologized. Overexplained. This one had the audacity to interrupt you, like he wasn’t face-to-face with the person everyone else avoided before coffee. For a second, you couldn’t tell if he was clueless or if he just didn’t scare easily.
You didn’t like either option. “I won’t be needing you yet,” you said flatly. “You can go.”
Vernon didn’t argue. He simply nodded once, hands dropping from his pockets as he turned toward the door. “Alright.”
And then he left. The door clicked shut behind him. You and Becca stared at it for a moment.
You exhaled through your nose and picked up your pen. “What kind of temp did you get me?”
“He’s very competent. Just a little tactless at times. And he was once…” She hesitated. “…reported to HR for insubordination.”
“Insubordination?”
“Yeah, he was. But it was all a misunderstanding.” She paused for a second and then added, “Apparently, the way he talks pissed some people off. Which was why I thought he’d be perfect for this role.”
You slowly looked up from your paperwork. “What’s that supposed to mean?
Becca grimaced, then covered her mouth. “Okay. That—yeah. That was supposed to be an inside thought.”
You scoffed, shaking your head as you went back to signing. “You’ve been working for me too long.”
She cleared her throat, tapping her tablet like she needed something to do with her hands. “Mr. Zhou just stepped into the lobby. Should we… um… go wait for him in the conference room?” she asked, already smiling.
“Fine,” you said, signing your name a little harder on the last paperwork. “But we’re unpacking that later.”
You were puzzled to see Vernon waiting by the car as soon as you stepped out of your office at noon. He looked out of place there, standing in a crisp set of suit and coat, looking like he was shooting an ad for Ralph Lauren. You were realizing in real time that he was unnecessarily too good-looking and too well-dressed to be someone’s errand boy.
He was holding Becca’s work tablet and the leather briefcase she’d usually brought to meetings.
“Where’s Becca?” you asked, not slowing down as you watched him open the car door for you.
“She’s gone,” he said, watching you settle onto the backseat. “Told me my secretary duties start today.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?”
Vernon blinked, confused. “Oh, you didn’t know? I thought she discussed this with you beforehand.”
You sighed, waved him off, and leaned back on the seat. As Vernon closed the door and rounded the car, you took your phone out and typed out an urgent message to Becca.
You: I’m docking your pay.
Vernon took the driver’s seat without ceremony, adjusted the mirror, and pulled into traffic.
“Read the documents carefully,” you said without looking up. “And pay attention during the meeting.”
“I will,” he said. “To both.”
The car ride was quiet. You reviewed the agenda on your tablet while the city slid past the windows, aware of him in your periphery—too relaxed, but not sloppy.
Your phone rang not even ten minutes into the ride and you sighed when you saw the caller ID. But answered anyway. “Hi, Grandma.”
“I just wanna remind you that you have a date this evening,” she said immediately. “You’re going, aren’t you?”
“No,” you replied. “I’m working.”
“You said that last week.”
“I was working last week too. I’m busy, Grandma. Right now, I’m heading out for a lunch meeting with suppliers.”
She clicked her tongue. “You’re always working. You can’t keep postponing your life like this. Why do you always put that damn company first?”
You pressed your lips together. “Grandma, this was your company. You put me here.”
“Excuses. When will you have a husband?” she shot back. “Or children? I’m old and dying. Do you think time is gonna wait for me? I just want to see you settle down and be happy. Is that too much to ask?”
You looked out the window. “You’re healthy. You’re strong. You’re not going anywhere.”
You heard her exhale sharply on the other line, clearly annoyed now. “If you don’t come tonight, I’ll erase your name from my will. You won’t get a single penny from me.”
“You’ve been saying that for years,” you said evenly. “Need I remind you that you only have one living relative and it’s me?”
She huffed. “Don’t test me. I might just donate my whole fortune to charity. You must go this time. I swear this one is better than the previous dates. His name is Pa—”
“I love you,” you said, cutting her off. “I’ll call you later.”
You ended the call before she could respond.
For a moment, the only sound in the car was the hum of the engine and the soft click of the turn signal. You slipped your phone back into your bag and leaned farther into the seat, already compartmentalizing the conversation the way you always did.
You caught movement in the rearview mirror. Vernon was looking at you. “Persistent grandma?” he asked when your gazes met.
You sighed, unimpressed. “Eyes on the road.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, tone mild enough to be irritating.
You let the silence stretch after that, your attention returning to the tablet in your hands. You scrolled through the agenda, noting the points you wanted addressed, the concessions you were willing to make, and the ones you absolutely were not. Vernon drove without comment, smooth and calm, like he wasn’t ferrying someone who could fire him on a whim.
You glanced up again, studying his reflection this time with intention. The angle of his jaw. The familiarity you hadn’t been able to put a finger on ever since you saw his face.
“Have we met before?” you asked.
“Yes,” he replied immediately. “We went to the same university. And met once at a freshman party.”
That checked out. You’d seen enough of him around campus for his face to register, even now. You hummed, “Knew you looked familiar. You have an unforgettable face.”
That slipped out unintentionally, making you pause. You considered taking it back, but you ultimately just decided to roll with it. You cleared your throat. “I mean—well… Have you seen yourself?”
“Sorry, what?” he asked, glancing briefly at you. “I didn’t catch that.”
But the slight smirk on his lips told you that was a lie. You rolled your eyes, then watched him for another second. “If we went to uni at the same time,” you asked, “how are you still interning? At this age?”
He grinned. “Are you discriminating?"
“I’m just asking.”
“As my boss or as someone who knew me from college?”
You exhaled through your nose, realizing now that Becca wasn’t exaggerating when she said Vernon can be annoying for some. “Forget it,” you said.
He just smiled, focusing on driving. But a few moments later, he said, “I just got out of a slave contract with my previous employer.”
You looked up. “I assume that’s an exaggeration.”
“It could be,” he replied, shrugging.
You didn’t comment. Some jobs did feel like that. You knew it, even if you’d never experienced it firsthand. You’d never been employed under someone, except when you interned for your Grandma, but even that was hardly employment. You’d always been your own boss.
The car slowed as the restaurant came into view. Vernon found a parking space easily. “We’re here,” he said as soon as the engine stopped.
You straightened, already stepping out of the vehicle. “They’re gonna give us the revised version of the contract from last time. Remember to go over it very, very carefully.”
“Got it,” he replied, gathering his things and fixing his coat as he stepped out of the car.
You paused, looked at him once with furrowed brows, then said, “Lose the coat.”
He blinked. “What? Why?”
“Just lose it,” you said, waving your hand dismissively. “You’re gonna make these people think I brought a date to this meeting.”
The realization hit him a second later. “Oh.”
His ears turned red almost immediately, the color creeping up fast enough that it caught you off guard. He looked away, cleared his throat, and shrugged out of the coat with noticeably less confidence than he’d had five seconds ago.
“Right,” he said. “Okay.”
You didn’t respond. You were already walking.
He followed a step behind. You noticed the way he kept tugging at his sleeves, the way his shoulders squared like he was suddenly conscious about his posture. It didn’t slow him down, but it made him seem less casual and more shy.
You filed that thought in the far back of your mind and pushed open the restaurant door.
Vernon settled into his role faster than you’d anticipated. He learned your schedule within days, memorizing the gaps between meetings, the calls you always took walking, the ones you preferred, seated and uninterrupted. By the first week, he stopped asking what you needed and started having it ready before you spoke. Coffee appeared when you’d skipped breakfast. Documents were summarized and tabbed—never highlighted, because you hated highlights.
He remembered dates without reminders. Flagged clauses you would’ve circled anyway. Anticipated questions before clients finished asking them. He spoke only when necessary in meetings, and when he did, it was concise enough that no one dared interrupt him.
“Your two o’clock wanted to move to three,” he said one morning, falling into step beside you as you walked down the hall. “Mr. Lee begged. Said something about traffic and divine intervention.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That divine intervention doesn’t outrank your calendar.”
You didn’t break stride. “Good.”
By the end of the second week, you—and everyone around you—had realized that you now have a second Becca, a more merciless one at that. People stopped going to you first. They went to Vernon. He filtered what mattered and killed what didn’t. When he brought you something, it was because it deserved your time. He filtered your calls ruthlessly. If something reached you, it mattered. If it didn’t, it never existed. People learned quickly that arguing with him was pointless; if Vernon said you were unavailable, then you were.
Occasionally, he tested his boundaries. Not in ways that interfered with work, but in tone.
“Do you always look like this when you’re thinking?” he asked once, watching you review a document.
You didn’t look up. “Like what.”
“Like you’re about to ruin someone’s life.”
You slid the folder toward him. “Page twelve.”
He glanced down, eyes scanning. “Ah,” he said. “There it is. I knew something was odd with this.”
In meetings, he was quiet, efficient, present without being intrusive. He passed notes when necessary, caught errors before they reached the table, and never spoke unless spoken to or unless you were about to walk into something avoidable.
“Clause eighteen,” he murmured once, sliding you a note.
You corrected the issue mid-sentence and moved on. Afterward, in the elevator, you said, “Good catch.”
His brows lifted in surprise. “Was that praise?”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“I won’t,” he said, grinning. “But I will cherish it.”
By the third week, he stopped flinching when you corrected him. By the fourth, he started correcting other people before you had to. He learned quickly what earned silence versus what earned a look. Silence meant he was safe. The look meant he had exactly one more word before his internship became a cautionary tale.
He respected that. Mostly.
“So,” he said once, handing you a folder, “do you want the bad news first or the worse news?”
You took the folder. “If you ever phrase it like that again, you’re fired.”
“Noted,” he said calmly. “Then I’ll just say this contract is trash.”
You looked up slowly. He met your gaze without flinching. “Respectfully.”
You skimmed the page. Then the next. Then the clause he’d marked with a single tab. It was, in fact, trash.
You closed the folder. “Schedule a call.”
“I already did.”
He had an irritating habit of leaning where he wasn’t supposed to. Doorframes. Desks. The back of chairs that did not belong to him. He never slouched in meetings, never interrupted, but outside of them, he carried himself like he wasn’t intimidated by anyone in the building.
Including you. Especially you.
“Do you actually read all of these,” he asked once, eyeing the stack of reports on your desk.
“Yes.”
“All of them?”
“Yes.”
He paused. “I guess you’re not like those other nepo babies who—um… nevermind.”
You lifted your pen. “Finish that sentence, Secretary Chwe.”
“Nope,” he said, chuckling nervously and retreating a step. “I’m quite attached to my paycheck, you see.”
You rolled your eyes, but Vernon kept his grin. “When will you call me by my first name?”
Your brows furrowed. “Why would I do that?”
“Well, there’s Becca. You address her not only by her first name but by her nickname.”
You tutted, shaking your head and deciding to ignore his question entirely. “Go. I don’t need you right now,” you said, waving him away.
“Yes, ma’am,” he chimed, walking away. You returned to your screen. You didn’t fire him.By the end of the month, Vernon no longer felt like a temporary replacement to your intuitive and reliable Becca. He felt like his own fixture. An irritating, unnecessarily good-looking, deeply unserious, but very competent fixture.
“Is that Armani?” you asked, just as Vernon turned the engine off.
He glanced back at you, then at his coat. “I think so? I got this as a gift for my birthday.”
You chuckled, reaching for the door. “Your clothes are too expensive for an intern.”
You stepped out of the car, eyes blinking at the blinding building right in front of you. Vernon fell into step beside you not 30 seconds later, and you noticed that he’d taken off his coat.
“You should keep it on,” you said.
He tilted his head. “But wouldn’t it make them think you brought a date to the meeting?”
You shrugged. “Maybe, but these people are worth impressing. I’m heading inside first. You go get your coat and make yourself look good.”
You were inside the building for less than two minutes when you ran into someone that made your eyes twitch. He called your name from across the lobby, his voice ringing out annoyingly.
“Is that you?” he asked when he approached you. “Well, damn. It is you.”
“Carlo,” you acknowledged, offering a curt smile.
“Oh, so you remember me,” he grinned, his eyes roving from your head to your foot, then back up to your face again, not without pausing briefly on your chest. “It’s been a while, huh?”
You nodded once, polite and brief, already angling your body toward the other direction. “It has. If you’ll excuse me, I’m on my way to a meeting.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re always busy,” he said, waving it off. “But who isn’t?” he added, laughing out loud.
He then launched into a recap of his life since the last time you’d seen him—his job, his connections, the people he knew, the Dubai prince he was chummy with, the places he’d been. It was all very impressive, apparently. You tried to interject twice. Both attempts failed. He spoke over you like it was muscle memory.
You remembered, dimly, the disastrous blind date your Grandmother had set you up on last year. Apparently Carlo was a friend’s son who was intelligent and sweet. You gave it a chance because you’d run out of excuses to decline. But Carlo was downright obnoxious. He was preposterous, talked only about himself, and after the date, he told every mutual acquaintance you both had that you were the reason why it never worked out after the first date—as if he didn’t blow up your phone asking for another chance after you refused to go on another date with him. He’d framed your refusal like a misunderstanding, and acted like persistence was a charm.
“So anyway,” he said, finally pausing just long enough to inhale, “I was thinking maybe we could grab dinner sometime. Catch up properly.”
You spotted Vernon a few steps away. “There you are, my love,” you called out with an exaggerated sigh of relief.
Vernon looked up at the sound of your voice, just as you crossed the distance and slipped your arm around his without asking, fingers curling into the fabric of his sleeve. For a moment, you thought he might ask what was happening. But he looked at you and at the puzzled Carlo just nearby and seemed to understand the situation right away.
“Sorry,” you said, turning back to Carlo with an apologetic smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “What were you saying?”
Carlo took a step back, posture stiffening, his grin faltering as his eyes moved from Vernon’s face to his tailored clothes, then back to you. Whatever confidence he’d walked into the lobby with seemed to deflate all at once.
“Oh, by the way,” you began, turning to Vernon. “Have you met Carlo? He’s in the export business. And the son of Grandmama’s friend.”
Vernon didn’t miss a beat. He offered his hand. “Vernon,” he said pleasantly.
Carlo stared, shaking his hand. You smiled and said, “My fiancee.”
“Oh,” Carlo said. “Fiancée.”
“Yes,” you replied simply. You could already imagine how this little lie would spread among your mutual acquaintances and business spaces you shared with Carlo, given how loose-lipped he was. But all you could care about right now was getting him to leave you alone.
“Well—uh,” Carlo said, shaking Vernon’s hand a little too quickly. “Nice to meet you. You two look… great.” He stepped back, already glancing at his phone. “I should get going. Busy day. You know how it is.”
You watched him retreat without comment, hurrying through the lobby until he disappeared entirely. Only then did you exhale.
You loosened your grip on Vernon’s arm, turning toward him. “Thank you,” you began.
“Your fiancée?” said someone from behind you.
You immediately froze, recognizing the timbre, the authority, and the unmistakable tone of your Grandmother’s voice.
You turned slowly and found her standing a few feet away, handbag tucked neatly under her arm, eyes sharp and clearly amused.
“Did I hear that right,” she said, her smile widening as her gaze flicked between you and Vernon, “or am I finally losing my hearing?”
Vernon, to his credit, didn’t move. Neither did you. And somewhere between the impulsive little lie and her grin, you realized that things were about to blow out of proportion.
“OMG, Grammy. You heard that? I’m sorry. This is my assistant. I only said he was my fiancée to get that obnoxious Carlo off my back.”
You could have said that and gotten it over with. But you couldn’t. The delight on your grandmother’s face was too precious for you to shatter with the truth. So here you were, sitting across from her for an impromptu family dinner, Vernon holding your hand beside you.
You were usually the most intimidating person in any room you walked into. Boardrooms, negotiations, crowded halls full of people waiting for you to speak—none of it ever rattled you. But at that dinner table, you were painfully aware of your posture, your hands, the way your expression changed with every interaction.
Your grandmother had that effect on you. She was the only person who could ever make you nervous, especially when it involved major life decisions like this.
It didn’t help that she was beaming like she’d just won the lottery. Vernon, as it turned out, was the grandson of an old friend of hers.
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew my Grandma?” you had discreetly asked him earlier during the meeting with an investor, while your Grandmother watched from a few tables away.
She had insisted she’d wait until you finished the business meeting, and that was how you found yourselves trapped in this ‘family’ dinner.
“So,” she said, eyes bright as she looked between you and Vernon, “how did the two of you meet?”
You stiffened slightly, already bracing yourself. Vernon answered easily. “Oh, we met in college,” he said, reaching for his water. “We reconnected only recently when I started working for her.”
Your grandmother’s eyebrows rose. “Oh? And when did you start dating?”
You kept your gaze on your plate, listening. “About a month ago,” Vernon replied smoothly.
A month ago. You did the math immediately, your mind racing ahead of your body. That was the exact week he’d started working as your temporary assistant.
“And engaged already?” your grandmother said, delighted rather than suspicious.
Vernon nodded. “We didn’t see the point in waiting.”
She laughed, clapping her hands softly. “Oh, I love that. Life is too short to hesitate.” She turned to you then, eyes sharp and delighted. “So you mean to tell me you got engaged without telling me you were dating my best friend’s grandson?”
You opened your mouth, only to just close it again. Vernon cleared his throat. “It all happened rather quickly.”
“That’s what I love about it,” she said, waving a hand. “Destiny waits for no one,” she added, laughing.
You laughed too—awkwardly enough that you were sure you’d given it all away. You stared at the food on the table, suddenly finding your favorite dish from the best chef in the city unappetizing and dry.
“Does your family know?” she asked Vernon again.
Vernon hesitated, glancing at you for an answer. You had absolutely nothing to offer him. Not even a lie half-formed. So you lifted one shoulder, the smallest shrug you could manage.
He turned back to her and smiled. “Not yet. We wanted to keep it quiet for a while,” he said, shrugging lightly. “It hasn’t been very long. But I guess the secret’s out now that you know.”
Your grandmother looked like she might burst from excitement. “Oh, this is wonderful,” she said, already reaching for her phone. “They’ll be thrilled.”
You sat up straighter. “Grandma—”
“Wait,” Vernon said at the same time.
She waved both of you off, already dialing. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll just tell them quickly.”
You watched in horror as she put the phone to her ear. “Hello?” she said brightly. “Yes, yes, it’s me. You’ll never guess what I just found out.”
You sank back into your chair, heart thudding.
She spoke excitedly, voice warm and loud enough that you caught pieces of the conversation—laughter, delighted exclaims, repeated congratulations. You could hear someone else speaking on the other end, just as excited.
You didn’t catch the names, but you didn’t need to. Whoever was on the other end was laughing too. Your grandmother kept nodding along, with soft mm-hmms and delighted sighs.
“I know. I couldn’t believe it either.” She glanced at the two of you, eyes shining. “They’re here with me right now.”
Vernon didn’t move. His hand was still resting near yours on the table, close enough but not quite touching. He looked composed, if a little too still, like he’d decided that reacting would only make things worse.
Your grandmother laughed again. “Oh, don’t be dramatic. Of course it makes sense. Haven’t you always said fate has terrible timing?”
She listened for a moment, then hummed approvingly. “Yes. I’ll tell them.”
She ended the call with a satisfied tap of her finger against the screen and set her phone down carefully, as if savoring the moment. “There,” she said, pleased. “They are over the moon.”
You exhaled slowly through your nose. “Grandma—”
“You never even told them that you were seeing someone, Vernon,” she added. “They’re insisting on dinner soon. All of us.”
“That might be difficult,” he said carefully. “With work and—”
“Oh, nonsense,” she interrupted. “You’ll make time. You always do for family.”
She smiled at you then, softer and fonder. “And you,” she said, “I’m gonna excuse the fact that you kept this a secret from me.”
You pressed your lips together, offering something that might have passed for a smile.
Across the table, your grandmother reached for her glass, perfectly satisfied. Beside you, Vernon shifted just enough that his knee brushed yours under the table. Neither of you commented on it. But you both understood the same thing at the exact same time.
This had officially gone too far to undo politely.
By the time you finally parted with your grandmother outside the restaurant, you were exhausted. Not the kind of tired you felt after negotiations or long meetings, but the slow, creeping kind that sank into your bones and stayed there.
You slid into the backseat as soon as Vernon opened the door for you, barely waiting for it to close before sinking back against the leather. The city lights blurred past the windows as the car pulled away from the curb.
“That,” you said, staring at the ceiling, “went so wrong so fast.”
Vernon huffed a small laugh from the driver’s seat. “That’s one way to put it.”
You dragged a hand down your face. “I just wanted Carlo to leave me alone. I didn’t plan on my grandmother calling half the city to announce my engagement.”
“She seemed… enthusiastic.”
“Oh, trust me. That was her being restrained,” you muttered. You straightened slightly, folding your arms. “You’ve been with me long enough to know how she takes my love life very, very seriously.”
The car stopped at a red light. Vernon glanced at you through the rearview mirror. “You could let her have it for a few days,” he said casually. “Then tell her it didn’t work out. People break up all the time. We haven’t been dating long anyway. It’ll be believable.”
You sighed, nodding. “That’s the plan.”
The light turned green, and he eased back into traffic. You watched the city slide past again, your reflection faint in the glass.
“I’m sorry,” you said after a moment. “For dragging you into this. For the phone call with your folks. For—” You waved a hand vaguely. “All of it.”
Vernon shrugged, eyes on the road. “It’s fine.”
You looked at him. “You don’t have to say that.”
“No really,” he replied. “I don’t mind. I’ll just consider it part of the job.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’d hate the job if I were you.”
He tilted his head, considering. “Well,” he said, “it’s not the strangest thing I’ve been dragged into for work.”
You snorted despite yourself. The car slowed in front of your apartment building. Vernon parked and turned the engine off. You stepped out of the car, the night air cool against your skin. Behind you, Vernon followed, just another assistant at your side.
That was all it was supposed to be.
“See you in the morning, boss,” he said, handing you your bag as you both stopped in front of the elevator.
You nodded. “See you in the morning, Secretary Chwe.”
He nodded back, then stepped closer—so suddenly that you barely had time to register it before he was right there, warmth and presence crowding your space.
You froze, surprised by the proximity. For a split-second your mind was racing to process so many things at once—the closeness, the clean scent of his cologne, his steady breathing, and the way you’d been holding yours without realizing it.
Then his arm lifted past your shoulder. The elevator button clicked softly behind you.
“Oh,” you breathed, the sound escaping before you could stop it.
Vernon pulled back, his expression unreadable for a second, before his mouth curved into a smile—one that made you pause. You’d seen that smile every day for the last few weeks, but this was the first time you’d found yourself completely disarmed by it.
The elevator dinged. The doors slid open, and air rushed back into your lungs like you’d been underwater. You looked away first, stepping inside without a word.
Vernon remained outside, one hand lifting in a wave. “Good night,” he said.
The doors closed between you, sealing him out, and the last thing you saw was that damn smile.
The very next morning, you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing on the nightstand. You squinted at the screen. Grandma.
“Oh my god, what now?” you grumbled, sitting up before answering. “Good morning,” you croaked, rubbing your eyes.
“Pack your bags,” she said immediately, skipping any niceties. “We’re going away for the holidays.”
“It’s still two weeks before Christmas, Grandmama.”
“Oh, honey,” she gushed. “We’ll be spending the holidays with Vernon’s family.”
You straightened up, swiping at the alarm that had somehow joined the chaos. “Excuse me?”
“Yes. For a week. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“A WEEK?!” you echoed loudly, standing up on your bed now, clutching a fistful of your hair. “Grandma, what do you mean a week? What… Where—WITH WHOM?”
“Okay, young lady. Calm down. I can’t understand you when you’re rambling like this.”
“Grandma, I can’t—I have work. There’s the holiday promos, the rush, meetings and deals. I literally can’t even disappear for a day, let alone a whole week.”
“You have competent employees for that. I’m sure they can handle it,” she said casually. “Besides, I checked your calendar and you don’t have anything major that requires your immediate attention. Surely you can pause your micromanaging for a few days?”
“Excuse me?” you scoffed, offended. “I don’t micromanage—ugh. Not the point,” you muttered, more to yourself.
You took a deep breath and sat back on the bed. “Listen, Grandma. I haven’t met his family yet. I haven’t even been introduced as his girlfriend yet. I can’t just show up as his fiancee out of nowhere.”
“Yes, yes, I know,” she said, waving the thought away like dust. “But this is exactly the right moment. It’s the holidays.”
You paused, genuinely bewildered. “How did this even happen?”
“Oh, my dear, this wasn’t my idea,” she replied, her voice lighting up. “Vernon’s grandmother insisted.”
You let out a long, shaky breath. “Grandma—”
“Pack your bags,” she said cheerfully. “Don’t argue with me. I’ve already told them you’re coming and I already took care of everything.”
Now here you were, sitting in your office, heels tapping impatiently on the marble floor, fingers drumming against the wood of your desk. Every five seconds, you checked the clock, willing Vernon to appear.
Finally, the office door slid open, and there he was, smiling so calmly like things hadn’t blown out of proportion already. “Oh, there you are!” You exhaled sharply. “I need you to act as my fiancée. Again.”
His brows furrowed, confused. “Why?”
“Surely your family’s told you by now that I am to spend the holidays with you?” you snapped, exasperation leaking into your tone.
He shrugged. “I’ve been told. But… you don’t have to. I can get you out of it if you really hate the idea.”
You leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms. “I don’t like the idea. But you know as well as I do that dissuading my grandmother is impossible.”
He chuckled lightly. “You’ve never let anyone tell you what to do.”
You snorted, leaning forward. “I’ll have you know that my grandmother can—and will—tell me what to do. Ghosting blind dates is a walk in the park, but things like this? Yeah. No way.”
Vernon hummed in acknowledgment. “She does seem like the formidable type.”
There was a moment of silence between you, one so comical you could hear the crickets in your head. “So?” you prompted. “Will you do it, or not?”
Vernon just shrugged, eyes still playful. “Do I get a raise?”
You rolled your eyes, exasperated, but also relieved. “I’ll even make you a regular while I’m at it, Intern Chwe.”
Being the meticulous person you were, you drafted a contract days before the trip. Not a legal one, of course, but a set of rules you and Vernon both agreed to follow while pretending to be engaged. You and Vernon made it together and agreed to both of your conditions, especially involving physical intimacy.
You made a point to make sure holding hands and displays of affection were strictly in front of the family only. And of course no hugging unless absolutely necessary. There were clauses about sticking to an agreed context and backstory, and never answering major or intrusive questions without the other.
“How do you feel about sharing a bedroom?” he asked.
“Do we have to? Can’t I get my own guest room?”
Vernon shook his head. “You clearly don’t know my family at all. An engaged couple staying in separate bedrooms? They’re gonna be suspicious.”
That made sense. “Alright. But I’m taking the bed. You can have the couch. Or the floor. Whatever works.”
“Come on,” he said, mock-protesting. “It’s my house. I should get the bed.”
“And I’m your boss,” you countered. “Rule number five will be, I always win.”
“Now you’re just power tripping.”
You waved a hand dismissively. “Fifth clause. Very important.”
Vernon raised an eyebrow at said clause about ‘no kissing or hugging’. “Exceptions?” he asked casually. “Christmas games, dances, mistletoe… maybe a moment of festive goodwill?”
“Absolutely not,” you said firmly. “Exceptions are only if the world is literally ending. Or someone dies. Or—” You stopped yourself, realizing you were overexplaining. “Just don’t ask for exceptions.”
Vernon nodded, taking that in stride. “But the situation could call for a hug, you know?”
You rolled your eyes. “Let’s just not.”
“Fine. But I’m telling you, my family will notice.”
“Just what kind of family do you have?”
Apparently, the kind who were affectionate and close, and took Christmas very seriously.
Days later, you boarded a plane with your grandmother practically vibrating with excitement beside you. She chatted the entire time—about the food, about the weather, about how nice it was that you were finally dating and thinking of marriage—while you nodded along, occasionally exchanging looks with Vernon over the divider between your seats. Thankfully, first class gave you just enough privacy that you didn’t have to perform more than absolutely necessary.
When you landed, the cold winter air hit you first, stinging your cheek. You’d barely stepped outside the terminal when a pickup truck rolled to a stop in front of you, horn honking cheerfully.
A jolly older man hopped out, grinning wide. “You must be exhausted,” he said warmly, eyes immediately landing on your grandmother. “It’s been too long.”
Her face lit up in a way you didn’t see very often these days. “Look at you,” she said, holding his arm affectionately. “All grown up.”
They hugged like no time had passed at all. Behind you, Vernon carefully placed a coat over your shoulder, its warmth engulfing you almost immediately. Then he leaned in slightly, one hand still on your shoulder. “That’s my uncle.”
Vernon introduced you and you offered a hand for a shake. “Lovely to meet you.”
The entire drive into town was filled with laughter and reminiscing, stories bouncing back and forth like they’d only seen each other yesterday instead of decades ago. Apparently, his uncle had spent a good portion of his childhood around your grandmother, running around while the adults talked business and dreams and things far too big for children to understand.
You watched your grandmother from the backseat, her smile so soft and sweet, and felt something warm settle in your chest.
“Just how long have you known this family?” you asked her, half-teasing.
Vernon’s uncle laughed before she could answer. “Oh, longer than me,” he said easily. “Her and my Ma go way back. Back when I wasn’t even born yet.”
She nodded fondly. “We were already friends when we both had nothing,” she said. “We used to talk about what we’d do one day, when life finally got easier. Now, we have money. But we’re both too busy to see each other.”
You hummed, thoughtful, eyes drifting out the window. A moment later, curiosity got the better of you. You turned slightly toward Vernon. “I don’t think you’ve told me what your family does?” you asked.
He shrugged. “Merchandising.”
That was vague. You narrowed your eyes at him, but before you could press further, his uncle laughed and pointed ahead, where a tall building rose proudly in the middle of the city square. It stretched for blocks, glass gleaming even under the sky.
“That,” he said, clearly pleased, “is what my dear mother—Vernon’s grandma—built from the ground up.”
Your breath caught. It was a shopping mall. Not just any mall, either. You recognized the name immediately. You’d seen more than a few of them back home, even had business with them!
Slowly, you turned to look at Vernon, scanning him from head to toe like you were seeing him for the first time.
He noticed. “What?”
“Merchandising?” you said flatly.
He shrugged again, entirely unapologetic. You leaned back in your seat, stunned, eyes flicking back to the building as it disappeared behind you.
Great. Of course you’d accidentally gotten fake-engaged into another powerful family.
When the truck finally came to a stop, you stepped down onto solid ground and immediately turned to Vernon, catching him by the sleeve before he could move too far ahead.
“Wait,” you said under your breath. “Why didn’t you tell me you were rich?”
He blinked, genuinely taken aback. “What?”
“That mall,” you said flatly. “The one your family runs. You don’t just forget to mention that, not when you know we’re retail partners with them.”
Vernon huffed a laugh. “You never asked. And besides, I’m not rich. My family is.”
You stared at him. “That’s not an answer.”
“It is,” he said mildly. “Just not one you like.”
You scoffed, lowering your voice even further. “Then why are you working as an intern? In my company. For—” you gestured vaguely between the two of you, “minimum pay and maximum suffering?”
His mouth opened, like he was about to say something but his uncle’s voice came booming from a few steps away. “Vernon!”
He looked over his shoulder. “Coming,” he replied easily, then glanced back at you. “Come on.”
You followed them down the pier, heels clicking against weathered wood as the sea air wrapped around you. Only when you reached the edge did you finally understand why everyone had stopped.
A sailboat waited at the dock, white and pristine, bobbing gently against the water. You slowed to a stop.
“Why are we getting on a boat?”
Vernon glanced at the sailboat, then back at you, a smirk tugging at his mouth. “My family thinks we’re better than everyone else,” he said, “so they bought a whole island and decided to live far away from the commoners.”
You stopped walking altogether. “I’m sorry—what?”
His uncle let out a bark of laughter, clapping a hand on Vernon’s shoulder. “That’s not true at all,” he said. “We didn’t move there. It’s just for family gatherings. Holidays. Reunions. That sort of thing.”
“And no, we don’t own the whole island,” his uncle added, looking out into the horizon, one hand on his hip. “Only half of it.”
Like that made it less unreasonable.
You’d spent years thinking your grandmother was extravagant—buying properties she rarely stayed in, collecting things simply because she could. But apparently, somewhere two thousand miles away, another woman had been doing the exact same thing.
No wonder they’re friends.
Vernon hovered beside you now, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his presence without looking at him. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
You opened your eyes. “I’m fine.”
He smiled at that, then held a hand out toward you. You hesitated for half a second, narrowing your eyes at him, then just as quickly, remembered the whole happily in love act had officially begun. So you took his hand and let him help you aboard the boat.
You had a feeling this week is going to be a lot harder than you’d anticipated.
The ride out to the island was mercifully short. The boat cut smoothly across the water, cold wind biting at your cheeks until your eyes watered. You pulled your coat tighter around yourself, breath fogging faintly in front of you.
Someone was already waiting there. A girl stood at the edge of the dock, bundled in a thick coat and scarf, waving with both arms like she didn’t feel the cold at all.
“That’s my sister,” Vernon said beside you. “Sofia.”
The moment your feet hit the dock, Sofia made a beeline for him, throwing her arms around his neck without hesitation. “You’re alive,” she said dramatically. “I was starting to think you’d fallen off the face of the earth.”
Vernon laughed, hugging her back. “You facetimed me three days ago.”
“Three days is a long time,” she shot back, then said something else under her breath that made him groan and flick her forehead lightly. You didn’t catch the words, but the sight of their teasing and laughter made your chest feel oddly warm.
Then Vernon turned slightly and gestured toward you. “This is—” He paused for half a second, then continued smoothly. “My girlfriend.”
Sofia’s eyes snapped to you, sharp and curious, then widened with unmistakable delight. “Girlfriend,” she said slowly, grinning mischievously. “That’s not what I heard,” she added in a sing-song.
Vernon sighed. “Please be normal. Don’t embarrass me.”
“Welcome,” Sofia said cheerfully, offering a hug which you returned awkwardly. Then she pulled back just enough to study your face. “Wow. You’re very pretty. Why would you wanna marry that guy?”
“Alright,” Vernon interjected, tugging Sofia from behind by her jacket collar. “That’s enough. Go away.”
“What? I think she’s too good for you.” She turned to you. “You sure you don’t wanna change your mind?”
“Stop,” he chided softly, chuckling, “Don’t discourage her. She might just change her mind. Nothing’s decided yet.”
“Oh, what nonsense.”
The voice came from behind Sofia—calm, amused, unmistakably unimpressed. A woman stepped forward, elegant in every sense of the word, eyes narrowing playfully as she looked Vernon over.
“You left a perfectly good position in the family business saying you wanted to fend for yourself,” she continued, “and now you come home with a fiancée?” Her lips curved into a smile. “You didn’t even wait a year before crawling back.”
You were taken aback, instinctively scooting closer to Vernon after what you heard. In your mind, you were wondering who this was and why she seemed to dislike him.
But beside you, Vernon merely sighed, shook his head in exasperation, and told you, “This is my mom.”
You blinked, momentarily caught off-guard. Then it immediately clicked that this might be how they normally talked to each other, and all in good fun, you assumed.
His mother didn’t give you much time to dwell on it. Her attention shifted to you immediately, her expression softening as she stepped closer and pulled you into a hug before you could react.
“Oh,” you exclaimed. Behind her, you mouthed to Vernon, ’Is this normal?’
He just shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. “Welcome,” she said warmly. “We’re so happy you’re here.”
You laughed softly, a little breathless, returning the hug despite the nerves curling in your stomach. And then everything moved at once.
You were ushered forward, names thrown at you faster than you could catch them—aunts, cousins, someone’s partner, someone else’s child—smiles and greetings blurring together as you were guided further into the property. The words ‘Vernon’s fiancee’ kept echoing in your ears, and you felt a little lightheaded as you realized that lie felt bigger by the second, ballooning with every new face and every fond look directed your way.
Warm air hit you the moment you stepped inside the house, carrying the smell of food and something sweet. It was massive, but you barely had time to take it in before you heard someone call out your grandmother’s nickname.
“Oh my goodness,” a voice exclaimed, followed by hurried footsteps.
An elderly woman appeared with her arms already open, and your grandmother’s face lit up like a sunrise. They met in the middle of the room, hugging tightly, laughing, talking over each other all at once.
You watched them fondly, feeling warm all over and knowing it wasn’t because of the central heating. Then the noise swelled again around you, and you were being pulled into a hug by Vernon’s grandmother who had affectionately asked you to call her ‘Nana’.
Eventually—somehow—you and Vernon finally escaped everybody’s attention and you found yourself trailing behind him aas he led you down a quieter hallway. You passed through wide corridors, went up several flights of staircases, before he finally stopped in front of a wooden door that looked like every other one in the hall.
“Come on in,” he said, pushing the door open and letting you step inside first.
The room was spacious, sunlight spilling through tall windowsr. A queen-sized bed sat at the center, dressed in crisp white linens under fluffy navy blue duvets. A thick rug covered the hardwood floor, and a small writing desk sat neatly in the corner. A fireplace along one wall had a few framed family photos on its mantle. There was also a couch just in front of the fireplace, and you noticed a subtle scent of pine and cinnamon lingering faintly in the room.
“How big is your family?” you asked, your gaze drifting around, taking in the comfort and scale of the space.
“Not very,” he said, hauling the last of your luggage over to the corner and setting it down with ease. “Nana has five kids, all married with kids. And most of my older cousins are married too, so I’ve got eight nieces and nephews.”
“Wow. Are there like, thirty of you?”
“Almost thirty,” he said, shrugging, a small smile tugging at his lips. “If everyone comes home for the holidays this year, you’re looking at twenty-eight Chwes under one roof.”
“That’s a lot of people,” you murmured, scanning the room.
“What about you?” he asked.
“Well, my dad was an only child who had only one kid,” you replied, leaning slightly against the desk. “So, no aunts and uncles for me. No horde of cousins either.”
Vernon glanced at you from the doorway, tilting his head slightly. “Right, why didn’t your parents come here with you? I assume they’re thrilled that their only child is engaged.”
You froze, realizing in that moment that you’d never actually told him your parents had passed. Before you could answer, a sharp knock came at the door, swinging open just as quickly without really waiting for anyone to respond.
“Hello! I hope I’m not disturbing anything,” a warm, lively voice called out. Vernon’s mother stepped inside, carrying a tray laden with small snacks and a thermos of tea.
“No. We were just settling in,” you answered, trying to sound normal.
“I figured you’d be hungry after that long journey,” she said brightly, setting the tray down. She turned her gaze on you, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “How are you feeling? You’ve traveled so far! Are you comfortable? Did you eat enough on the plane? Oh, do you like sweets?”
You opened your mouth, then closed it again, blinking at the rapid-fire questions, completely overwhelmed.
“Oh, and I’m so sorry about the chaos,” she said, smiling as she poured tea into the teacup. “Our family tends to overreact. Especially with Vernon being the only man in the family who hasn’t married yet. Everyone’s just excited to meet you.”
You felt a genuine warmth spread through your chest. “Thank you,” you said softly, taking a small step closer to accept the cup she was offering.
“And how is my son? Is he good to you? Does he treat you well?”
“Oh, he’s… wonderful. He takes care of everything for me,” you replied, and in a way, what you said was true.
“As he should,” she chimed, looking proud. “He must have been really good to you for you to decide to get married shortly after dating. OH!” She exclaimed, practically jumping in her seat. “You haven’t shown us your engagement ring yet!”
You froze, eyes flitting to Vernon across the room. He too looked surprised. You were both realizing in real-time that you had forgotten one, if not the most important thing about this whole engagement thing.
The damn ring!
“Is this it?” his mother asked, reaching for your hand where your default favorite ring to wear wrapped daintily on your finger.
You glanced sideways at Vernon, your expression screaming Help me.
“Alright, Mom, we’re tired. We need some rest. Please give us some space,” said Vernon, walking over and gently tugging her mom away from you.
“Oh, fine,” she said, still beaming as her son dragged her all the way out of the door. “But you need to tell me everything later!”
“Okay, bye-bye,” Vernon said before closing the door to her face.
The silence that followed was like a breath of fresh air. You slumped onto the couch, exhaling a long, tired breath. “I can’t believe you forgot about the ring.”
“Nah, I think that’s on you,” he said casually, sitting on the edge of the bed. “This whole thing was your idea. You should have known getting engaged includes getting a ring.”
“Are you saying you didn’t know that?”
Vernon paused, head tilting, deep in thought. You sighed and waved a hand dismissively. “Forget it. Where’s the contract? Let’s go over it one more time.”
Vernon laid it out on the desk and went through the rules you’d carefully set up—holding hands only in front of family, no hugging, no kissing, agreed backstory, a clear understanding of what questions could be answered and which ones required a unanimous decision, and most importantly, telling everyone after the holidays that things didn’t work out and you had to break up.
You came to the clause about the bed, and after a short discussion, agreed to alternate each night between the bed and the couch.
“Alright, get some rest,” he said after, standing up and walking toward the door. “maybe a shower if you’d like.”
You raised a hand. “Wait, where are you going? You’re not allowed to leave me alone. It’s in the contract. Rule number eight.”
His brows furrowed. “You okay about me being in the room while you shower and get dressed?”
Your cheeks heat up instantly. “Okay. You can go,” you said calmly.
He chuckled softly, hands in his pockets, turning to the door again. “I’ll just check out the field, see what’s there to expect. Don’t worry. I won’t be long,” he beamed, giving a small wave before closing the door.
By the end of that night, the engagement ring situation had been settled. You’d stared down at the ring already on your finger and said, “We can just say this is it.”
Vernon had squinted at it, thoughtful. “It doesn’t look like an engagement ring.”
You lifted your chin. “It does. The rock is a diamond. Just smaller than what engagement rings usually have. Do you have a better idea?” you shot back.
He didn’t. So that was that. The ring was promoted on the spot, its significance upgraded without its consent, and you both agreed never to question it again unless absolutely necessary. Preferably never.
And then the week began and nothing could have prepared you for what the holidays looked like in his family.
It was loud. Doors were always opening, someone was always calling out from another room, laughter echoing down hallways. There were meals that turned into three-hour affairs, dishes clattering, voices overlapping, debates breaking out over the most insignificant things. Someone was always touching someone else—an arm around a shoulder, fingers laced together, hair ruffled in passing. Affection here wasn’t saved for special moments. It was everywhere.
It was nothing like the holidays you knew.
Christmas, to you, had always been quiet. A peaceful dinner with your grandmother. Soft music playing in the background. Catching up, exchanging gifts, sitting side by side on the couch with wine glasses until you both got sleepy and called it a night.
Here, Christmas started days early and showed no signs of slowing down.
You were fed constantly. Asked questions constantly. Complimented, hugged, pulled into conversations you barely understood, handed drinks you didn’t ask for. At some point, someone insisted you had to try a dessert because it was “Vernon’s favorite growing up,” and suddenly he was there beside you, watching your reaction.
That was another problem entirely. Vernon was a little too good at this.
He held your hand casually, like it was second nature. Thumb brushing over your knuckles without thinking. He leaned in when people spoke to you, an arm slipping around your waist like muscle memory. He remembered to pull out your chair, to pass you food first, to check if you were cold before grabbing you a sweater.
None of it felt forced. If anything, you were the awkward one. “How are you so good at this?”
He glanced at you, amused. “Good at what?”
“This,” you said vaguely, gesturing between the two of you. “The loving boyfriend thing. It’s weird!”
His mouth twitched. “Would you rather I be awkward and obvious like you?”
You scoffed. “I am not obvious.”
“You flinch every time I touch you.”
“That’s because you don’t give me a heads up,” you hissed.
He just smiled, infuriatingly smug, and reached for your hand again as someone walked past. “Real couples don’t need a heads up for something like this,” he said, lifting your joined hands, then pressing a soft kiss on the back of your hand.
“What are you doing?” you deadpanned, but the smile on his lips remained.
“Nana and your grandma are looking right at us,” he said.
You turned your head to said direction, and found that they were, in fact, not looking. You scoffed, pulled your hand back and glared at him. “I’m docking your pay for this month.”
“You really think I need it?” he asked smugly, spreading his arms in a grand gesture.
You grimaced, taken aback by an arrogance you’d never seen in him before. “Stop. It’s your family’s, not yours.”
“Well, I’m part of this family, so…” he replied, shrugging arrogantly. You snorted, rolling your eyes but not denying your laugh.
Vernon has always been popular in your company. You noticed that much after weeks of having him beside you everyday. People were always ogling him, heads turned whenever he passed by, followed by giggles and dreamy sighs. It was different from when it was just you. Most of the time, people tried to avoid eye contact with you and turned the other way when they saw you coming.
Of course you knew why he was popular—it has all to do with his good-looks. You tried, but you could never deny that his appearance was, in fact, out of this world. Not to mention he’s tall, has good genes, and is intelligent. But other than that, there wasn’t much you could say about him as a person. You didn’t really know what he was like outside of work, after all. You never paid him that much attention unless he was giving you a rundown of the day’s agenda.
But here, in his home, surrounded by his family, you started noticing him more—not as your assistant, not even as your fake fiancée—but as someone in his own world. You saw the way he laughed freely here, all toothy and loud. The way he let his nieces climb all over him, how he listened when his grandmother spoke, how his mother scolded him and kissed his cheek in the same breath.
He was warm here. Soft and gentle in a way you’d never seen at work. And he was always close to you. His hand would find the small of your back in crowded rooms. He’d tuck you in beside him on couches, offer you food before himself, glance at you like he was checking if you were still okay. Sometimes you caught him watching you when he thought you weren’t looking, his eyes gentle and unreadable.
You told yourself it was part of the act. But as the days passed, surrounded by noise and laughter and far too much affection, you started feeling like you were the one pretending the hardest.
“You ready?” he asked on the morning of the 23rd.
You’d just finished touching up your makeup. “Yes.”
“Okay good. Let’s go. Everyone’s waiting.”
You hesitated, retracting your hand when he reached for it. Vernon looked at you like he was over it. “Well? Come on then.”
“It’s just…” you huffed, gesturing vaguely. “It’s a family pictorial. I’m not exactly… family.”
Vernon chuckled, reaching for your hand again. “We’ve talked about this. It’s not that deep.”
Except it was. You couldn’t fathom how Vernon could be so calm about this whole thing. Not just the family pictorial, but the whole sham of an engagement you two were in.
“I can hear you thinking. Stop that,” he prompted, tugging you by the hand, all the way out of the bedroom.
The house was full. Not metaphorically—literally full. Every bedroom was occupied, couches were claimed, extra chairs pulled out from storage, voices overlapping in every corner of the house. The entire family had arrived, cousins and partners and children. You’d naturally been absorbed into it, everyone’s basically been treating you like family.
They had a tradition, apparently. A family photo every Christmas. Same spot, same arrangement, different years. It was said to always happen every morning of the 23rd, two days before Christmas. And everyone took it seriously, dressing up with intent and looking their best.
“You can’t not join,” Vernon reminded you, steering you toward the center of the room. “That’d be weird. Am I supposed to tell everyone, ‘this is a fake engagement so she’s skipping out’?”
You lowered your voice as people shuffled around you, calling names, arguing about height order. “That’s the thing. This is fake and temporary, but the photo we’re taking is gonna live forever in your family albums. Immortalized and revisited every year.”
He laughed softly, like it hadn’t even occurred to him that this could be a problem. “If you really feel that bad about it,” he said, shrugging, “you could always marry me for real. Clear your conscience.”
You gave him a deadpan look. He simply grinned, completely unrepentant, then gently nudged you forward as someone called his name again.
By then, it was too late to back out. You let yourself be placed beside him, his arm slipping easily around your back like it belonged there.
The camera flashed.And just like that, this Christmas was immortalized as the year Vernon brought home a girl. If you didn’t get caught in the lie, then it would be the year he brought home a fiancée and things didn’t work out. If you did get caught, then it would still be the year he brought home a fiancée, but a fake one.Either way. It would be humiliating for him.
You thought that would be the end of it. But later, after breakfast, when the living room had devolved into noise and laughter and people sprawled across every available surface, Sofia pulled out a Polaroid camera.
“Oh, we’re doing couples,” she announced. “This is non-negotiable.”
Groans followed, and some cheers. You felt Vernon’s hand find yours before you’d even fully processed what was happening, his fingers lacing with yours like muscle memory.
“You weren’t kidding,” you muttered under your breath. “Your family really does love each other.”
“You love us too,” he murmured back, grinning.
“I’ve known you people for a week,” you retorted, scoffing. But then, looking around, you added, “But yeah. You guys are cool.”
You were herded onto the couch together, shoulders pressed close. Sofia crouched in front of you, aiming the camera. She looked into the camera, then at the two of you, brows furrowed.
“Are you guys really dating?” she asked, and you felt your heart drop to the floor. For a second, you wondered if you got caught, but then she added, “Scoot closer. This isn’t the 1800s.”
You chuckled and it came out strained. Vernon’s arm snaked around your waist, making you stiffen and glance at him. He gave it a gentle squeeze, urging you to relax. So you tried.
“Kiss!” someone shouted from behind, followed by a chorus of hoots and whistles.
“That’s enough,” Vernon said lightly, but firmly. “You’re not getting a show.”
There were groans. Booing. Someone yelled that he was no fun. He just shrugged like none of it bothered him.
“Smile!” Sofia prompted.
You smiled without thinking. Then the camera clicked, and the photo slid out with a soft whirr.
Vernon didn’t move right away. Neither did you. When you glanced at him, he was already looking at you. You blinked. “What?”
“Nothing,” he replied, eyes gleaming, a smile playing on his lips. You stared back, brows furrowing, confused at the attention he was giving you.
You waited a second. Then another. The smile on his lips didn’t change, it just stayed there, sweet and knowing, like he was in on something you weren’t.
Heat crept up your neck. You shifted slightly on the couch, suddenly very aware of how close you were sitting, of his arm still resting behind you. “Why are you staring at me?”
He hummed softly, like he was thinking about it. But he still didn’t answer. So you stopped looking away. If he was going to stare, then fine. You could stare too.
But that was a bad idea. The noise around you slowly faded while you held his gaze, your heart thudding louder and louder with every passing second. His expression changed then, and you couldn’t tell what it meant. It was something between amusement and surprise.
Click!
You both broke at the sound, turning toward his sister.
“Oh,” Sofia said, already sprinting toward the tree just across the room. “This one’s going on the tree!”
Everyone eventually drifted off to do their own thing. The kids bundled themselves up and tore out into the snow, their shrieks of laughter muffled by scarves and knit hats. You stayed inside, lounging on one of the couches near the wide living room windows, a warm mug cradled between your palms as you watched them tumble and recover and tumble again.
Nana sat beside you with a knitted blanket over her lap, while your grandma sat across from you, glasses perched low on her nose.
“They used to do that too,” your grandma said fondly, nodding toward the window. “Run around like little monsters until we had to drag them back inside.”
You smiled. “Who?”
“Your father,” Nana replied with a smile. “And my kids. Every summer, without fail. They’d come stay here for weeks. This place was a rental at the time. We didn’t have enough money yet to purchase it.”
Your attention sharpened. You hadn’t heard much about that time—just fragments, half-remembered anecdotes your grandmother would mention in passing.
“Oh yes,” your grandmother chimed in. “We saved up a few months of salary just to rent this out for summer,” she added, laughing heartily.
Nana nodded, looking outside. “They were inseparable. Always muddy, always hungry. Your father was so polite, though. Even as a boy.”
Grandma chuckled. “Polite until he got comfortable.”
You laughed softly, the sound surprising you. “That sounds like him.”
“They were happy summers,” Nana continued, her voice warm with memory. “Those were good days. This place witnessed those kids grow up. Your mom and dad got engaged here.”
The room fell into a gentle hush, that subtle heaviness creeping in. You knew it all too well. It always happened whenever your parents were brought into the conversation. Nana reached out and patted your knee, her touch gentle and affectionate.
“You must miss them very much,” she said softly.
You swallowed, then nodded. “I do. But it’s okay. Really.” You managed a small smile. “I was young. I barely remember some things.”
That wasn’t entirely true—but it was the version you’d learned to give people, the one that made them stop looking at you like you might shatter.
Nana studied you for a moment, eyes kind but knowing. “Still,” she said, “we’re glad you’re here. You’re family too, you know.”
You blinked, throat tightening unexpectedly. “Thank you,” you said, meaning it more than you could explain.
Then, as if sensing the mood had sunk too low, your grandma straightened a little and clapped her hands together lightly. “Well! Speaking of family,” she said brightly, “have you two thought about where you’ll get married?”
“I—what?” you blurted before you could stop yourself.
“Oh, don’t look so shocked,” your grandma laughed. “This is not an unexpected subject.”
You chuckled awkwardly. “No. No, it’s not. I just—we… Vernon and I haven’t discussed it yet.”
“But you’re gonna get married anyway, aren’t you?” Nana asked, placing a hand on your arm. “Why wait? You could do it here. After Christmas. The snow would be beautiful.”
“Oh, I love winter weddings,” your grandma gushed.
“I do too!” Nana agreed, also gushing. “My youngest had one and it was majestic!”
Your mind scrambled, panic blooming fast. After Christmas? Here? You could practically feel the lie ballooning again, threatening to burst.
“I think that might be a little—” you started, glancing desperately around the room, looking for Vernon.
“Oh, of course we’ll leave that up to you two,” said Nana, giggling. “But think about it and let us know. I know a good organizer who can give us an amazing event in short notice.”
Right on cue, the front door opened. Cold air rushed in along with laughter, Vernon’s uncle stomping snow off his boots as Vernon followed behind him, cheeks flushed from the cold.
“Perfect conditions out there,” his uncle announced cheerfully. “Snow uphill is just right. We can go sledding today!”
The kids immediately erupted, cheers echoing through the house. Vernon’s gaze flicked to you, taking you in—your posture, your pallid face and horrified expression—and quickly understood that you needed him.
“Hello, ladies,” he greeted, kissing his Nana on the cheek and your grandma too. “I hope you’re not bullying my fiancee.”
They both chuckled, waving their hands. “Oh, we’re just talking,” Nana said, smiling.
Vernon turned to you. “Wanna go sledding?”
“Yes,” you exclaimed with enthusiasm, not because you wanted to go but because you couldn’t wait to get out of there. “I love sledding.”
“Then we should go before they destroy the hill,” he smiled, offering a hand.
Nana laughed, waving a hand. “Go on, go. We’ll talk weddings later.”
You nearly tripped over your own feet standing up. Vernon fell into step beside you as you walked toward the main door, leaning in just enough to murmur, “You okay?”
“Pretty sure I was this close to spontaneously combusting,” you whispered back. “But yeah. I’m okay.”
Outside, the cold bit through your coat immediately. The sky was pale and endless, the snow untouched and glittering. Laughter was echoing from the hill as kids dragged sleds uphill.
Vernon handed you a pair of gloves without comment. You took them automatically, slipping them on. “Our grandmas suggested we get married here, just after Christmas. Apparently they both love winter weddings.”
“Oh, wow. What did you say to that?” he asked, walking over to fix your bonnet.
You scoffed, then rolled your eyes, letting him tie the laces of your bonnet under your chin. “What do you think? Couldn’t even get a word in. They were taking a mile a minute.”
He chuckled softly, patting your head after he was done with the laces. “Don’t mind them. Ultimately, the decision would be up to us. They can’t force us to do anything.”
You hummed to that, agreeing. Then you looked up at his hand, still sitting on your head. “You’re getting comfortable, Secretary Chwe.”
He grinned, defiant, not moving his hand away as he leaned down to say, “Except I’m not Secretary Chwe right now. I’m your baby.”
You grimaced, swatting his hand away. “Ew. As if.”
“Ah, it wasn’t ‘baby’. What was it, again?” he teased, walking backward. “My love, was it?”
You scowled, running after him to hit him. But he dodged easily. “You’re so annoying. I’m firing you first thing when we get back.”
“No, you won’t,” he grinned, holding out a hand. “You’re not gonna find a secretary who can do better than me.”
You scoffed, but you knew he was right. “Only for now,” you retorted. “As soon as Becca’s back, you’re out,” you added, then took his hand and followed him into the snow.
Sledding, apparently, was a two-person activity. You found that out only after everyone had already scattered across the hill, pairs forming naturally.
“Oh, I’m good,” you said quickly, hanging back near the fence. “I’ll just… watch.”
Vernon turned toward you, breath fogging in the cold. “You don’t wanna try?”
“I’m perfectly content being moral support,” you replied, hands tucked into your coat sleeves. “Very enthusiastic moral support.”
“Come on. It’s fun. You’re gonna love it,” he offered, smiling. Then he held a hand out to you, palm up.
“C’mon,” he said again. “One ride.”
You hesitated. You really did. You even glanced back toward the house, like the contract might physically manifest and slap his hand away for you. But then he tilted his head slightly, arm still extended, that stupid smile on his lips, and you sighed.
“Fine,” you muttered, stepping forward. “But hands around me is against the rules.”
He lifted a brow. “We’re sledding. I have to hold you.”
You considered that for a second, then nodded. “Alright. Compromise.”
You followed him, letting him guide you toward one of the sleds waiting at the top of the hill. The snow was packed down from use. You sat down first, legs tucked in, bracing yourself.
Vernon climbed on behind you and you stiffened immediately as his knees bracketed your hips, your back pressing flush against his chest through layers of winter coats.
“Relax,” he murmured, his voice too close to your ear that it made the hair on your neck rise.
“I am relaxed,” you blurted, which was a blatant lie.
His hands hovered for a second, like he was giving you time to object. When you didn’t, he placed them carefully at your sides instead of fully around you, fingers gripping the edge of the sled.
“See?” he whispered in your ear, and you felt that in the way your heart started racing. “No rules broken.”
Your heart was already pounding like you were halfway down the hill. “Just… don’t move them,” you warned.
“I won’t.”
The sled jerked forward. Snow rushed past in a blur as gravity took over, the world tilting, the cold air biting at your cheeks. You gasped, half-laughing, half-panicking as the speed picked up.
Behind you, Vernon laughed too, his breath warm where it brushed your ear. The sled hit a small bump, and you jolted back instinctively. His arm tightened at your side—not wrapping, but close enough that you felt it anyway.
“You okay?” he asked.
You nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “Yeah!” you replied, grinning so hard as the wind whipped against your face.
When the sled finally slowed at the bottom of the hill, snow spraying up around you, you were both still laughing, breathless, a little unsteady.
Then the laughter faded. You looked up at him at the same time he looked down at you, and suddenly the space between your faces felt too small. Small enough that you could feel his warm breath against your cheek.
You blinked a few times, surprised and frozen in place. Vernon’s gaze dropped to your mouth, just for a second. When it lifted again, he swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing once. Seeing that and the intent in his eyes made your heart kick painfully against your ribs, like it was trying to escape.
Laughter and cheering exploded behind you as another sled barreled to a stop nearby.
You moved instantly, standing too fast, stepping away before your body could do something stupid. Cold air rushed back in like a shock as you brushed snow from your coat, cheeks burning despite the winter air.
Vernon cleared his throat. “That was fun,” he said, smiling like nothing happened.
You swallowed, looking away. “Yeah.”
Behind you, you could feel his gaze linger. You told yourself it was just adrenaline. Still, when he reached for the sled again and asked, “One more?” you didn’t say no.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. You drifted between rooms, between conversations—helping in the kitchen, sitting in on half-finished card games, watching kids chase each other until someone inevitably cried over a stolen candy cane.
Somewhere in the middle of it all, you realized you’d stopped keeping track of where Vernon was at all times. Not because you didn’t care, but because you didn’t need to.
He was there when you glanced up from a conversation, leaning against a doorway, already looking at you. He was there beside you when someone handed out mugs of something warm, your shoulders brushing as you accepted yours. There were looks shared across the room, quick whispered comments that made you laugh under your breath, inside jokes forming without effort.
For once since you got here, there was no pressure to perform. No constant mental checklist. No fear that you’d look too distant for two people who were supposedly engaged. You were just genuinely enjoying yourself.
By nightfall, after a movie that half the room slept through, you found yourself walking back down the hall beside him, the house was quieter now, voices fading behind closed doors.
You were still laughing about a scene from the movie neither of you could take seriously. Your steps slowed naturally as you reached the door to the bedroom.
Vernon lingered in the hallway, hands in his pockets, watching you with a thoughtful expression. “You know,” he said casually, “you’re a really good person.”
You snorted, already turning toward the door. “Okay.”
“I’m serious.”
That made you pause. You glanced back at him, brows lifting. “Right. Sure you are.”
He rolled his eyes. “No, really. People at work call you Medusa, but I think they’re wrong about you.”
You blinked. “What?”
“Oh, I don’t call you that,” he added quickly. “It’s just them.”
You stared at him, genuinely caught off guard. “Medusa?”
“Like I said, they’re wrong. Please forgive them,” he said, smiling. “It’s just that they’ve never met someone so hardworking and intelligent. So sharp. So… wonderful. I think they figured there’s no way a real person could be that amazing, so they called you Medusa.”
Your stomach fluttered, completely against your will. But then you scoffed lightly, shaking your head. “Or,” you said, recovering, “it’s because people freeze when they see me. Like Medusa turns them into stone.”
He laughed. “That too.”
You laughed too, the sound echoing softly down the quiet hallway. And then for a moment, neither of you said anything. You were just staring at each other. When he leaned on the wall adjacent to the door, you mirrored him by leaning on his bedroom door.
Crossing your arms, you said, “It’s my turn on the bed tonight.”
Vernon chuckled softly, eyes glimmering, shaking his head. “No, it’s not.”
“It’s not?” you asked, feigning ignorance.
He opened his mouth—probably to argue, like always—then stopped. His gaze was still on you, that soft glow in his eyes was still there.
“…Fine,” he sighed, pushing himself away from the wall and walking toward you. He stopped just a breath away. “You can have it.”
You frowned, caught off guard. “That was too easy.”
He shrugged, reaching for the door knob behind you, leaning in so close. “Don’t get used to it,” he murmured, still not moving away even after he had pushed the door open.
You smiled, shaking your head lightly, and walked in. You took your cardigan off, reached the bed, arranged the blanket—you counted the steps in your head, not because you needed to, but because your chest was doing this ridiculous fluttering thing.
Vernon followed quietly, the ghost of a smile still lingering on his lips, and you watched as he picked up his blanket and headed to the couch. Then he gave you a small wave before disappearing behind the backrest.
You lay down, smiling to yourself, staring up at the ceiling, heart doing something inconvenient in your chest.
This is bad, you whispered in your thoughts. This is so bad. You were smiling like an idiot. Because of Vernon Chwe!
You exhaled through your nose. Okay. So maybe you were enjoying this holiday. A little too much. And yes. Fine. Vernon likes you. You weren’t imagining that. You’d spent your entire career reading people; you weren’t about to pretend you couldn’t read this.
But the more troubling realization was: you might be starting to like him back.
And that was bad because you had no idea how to tread this territory. This wasn’t in the agreement. There was no clause for catching feelings, no protocol for what to do if that ever happened.
“Hey,” Vernon’s voice carried from across the room, making your head snap that way, quieting your thoughts.
“Hey…” you murmured back.
“Goodnight,” he said softly.
You didn’t answer right away. You let yourself breathe. Then you exhaled softly, trying to get some control back, and making a decision right then and there. “Goodnight, Secretary Chwe,” you murmured.
You knew what it meant to call him that, knew how that sounded. But the words weren’t exactly for him. Not really. They were for you—a reminder to draw a line, to keep your head straight and not get distracted.
Because it turns out that the most dangerous thing about fake dating is not getting caught; it’s when things start to feel real.
The house was already awake when you stirred the next morning. You could tell before you even opened the door—voices overlapping downstairs, footsteps on the stairs, laughter that was louder than usual. Vernon noticed it too the second he stepped out of the bathroom, hair still damp, sleeves rolled as he buttoned his shirt.
“Is it just me or is the house noisier than usual?” he asked, voice light.
You huffed a laugh. “Maybe your family multiplied in their sleep.”
You didn’t get far down the stairs before his mother intercepted the both of you, beaming, hands clasped together like she’d been waiting all morning for this exact moment.
“Surprise!” she said brightly.
Behind her, the living room was packed. Not just relatives—new faces. Older couples you didn’t recognize, younger people clustered near the windows, a few men Vernon vaguely waved at in recognition. Someone had already put music on. Someone else had brought food. There were flowers on the table that definitely hadn’t been there yesterday.
Vernon blinked once. “Mom, what’s going on?”
His mother laughed, waving him off. “Oh, we thought it would be nice to surprise you with an engagement party and invite our family friends, and your friends of course.”
“Your friends?” you asked, looking at Vernon.
“Yes, dear,” his mom answered. “Kids he grew up with and went to school with.”
She looped an arm through yours before you could take a step back. “I know it’s a lot, and you two have a penchant for keeping things lowkey. But don’t worry, this is just a small function. We won’t put you in too much spotlight, so no pressure.”
“Hah,” you exclaimed, then chuckled awkwardly. “Of course. No pressure,” you echoed, glancing sideways at Vernon.
“Mom,” he said, “you really didn’t have to—”
“Oh hush,” she said, already steering you further into the hall. “Everyone’s been dying to meet you properly.”
And just like that, the lie wasn’t a snowball anymore. It’s an avalanche.
You endured. That was the only way to describe it. Endurance. You smiled when people congratulated you. You nodded when they said you were beautiful together. You accepted hugs from women who smelled like perfume and winter coats and cinnamon.
Someone pressed a drink into your hand. Someone else asked how you met. You answered automatically, muscle memory carrying you through a story you’d told often enough that it no longer snagged.
Vernon stayed close. A hand at your back, a glance across the room when the noise spiked. Every so often, he’d hold your hand and give it a light squeeze, as if he was apologizing and asking you to power through.
His friends were easier than you expected. They were polite, warm, and a little teasing, the kind that only comes from a long shared history.
One of them clapped Vernon on the shoulder. “Good for you man. Moving away, starting over, meeting someone you wanted to marry.”
“Jealous, Gyu?” another guy scoffed. “Maybe if you stopped sleeping around like a menace—”
“Oh, shut up, Seungcheol,” Mingyu shot back. “You’re the one flirting with sad married women.”
“For the last time,” Seungcheol sighed, rubbing the back of his neck like this argument had worn him thin, “she’s not married. She’s divorced.”
You watched Vernon through it all—relaxed, carefree, amused, completely at ease in the presence of friends who knew him best.
“So,” Wonwoo cut in, eyes flicking between the two of you. “What are you doing these days, Vernon?”
“Yeah,” someone else added. “What happened after you left the company?”
That caught your attention. You glanced at Vernon. “The slave contract you were talking about,” you said slowly, “that was with your family?”
He grinned, entirely unapologetic. You scowled. “The hell? So you were a nepo baby too. How dare you call me one.”
Vernon laughed, head lolling back. You just stared at him, unimpressed. His friends too, apparently. They were just staring like they had no idea what was so funny.
Vernon eventually noticed it, so he stopped, cleared his throat, and straightened up. “I’m working as a secretary,” he said, and then, with visible pride, slid an arm around your shoulder. “In her cosmetics company.”
The pause was immediate. “…Wait,” Seungcheol said. “You work for her?”
“She’s the CEO?” Mingyu asked, and Vernon nodded again.
“So you’re—” Wonwoo pointed at you, then back at Vernon. “—his boss?”
“Yeah,” Vernon said proudly. “She’s very cool.”
There was a second where you braced yourself, afraid they might judge him for it. But then Mingyu barked out a laugh. Then suddenly, everyone else was laughing.
“No way,” Seungcheol said, shaking his head. “You? Taking orders?”
Mingyu followed, grinning wide. “Do you have any idea how insane that is? This man has never worked under anyone.”
“Ever,” Wonwoo added. “He used to boss entire departments around like it was a sport.”
Vernon rolled his eyes. “That’s not true.”
“That’s extremely true,” Mingyu shot back. He turned to you, “He’s so annoying. And he doesn’t even realize it. He once made a manager wait because he ‘wasn’t done talking.’”
You blinked, surprised, then laughed before you could stop yourself. Nodding, you said, “He is kinda annoying. And tactless sometimes.”
Seungcheol pointed at you, delighted. “See? Imagine that kind of guy working under someone?”
Mingyu asked you, “Bet you’re always on the verge of firing him every day, huh?”
You shrugged. “Not really. He is annoying but I can keep him in line. And he’s pretty good at his job. There are only two people who can keep up with me, and he’s one of them.”
“Figures,” Wonwoo said, nodding like it all made sense now. “Leaves the family business, ends up working for someone smarter than him.”
Vernon didn’t deny it. If anything, he looked pleased, standing there beside you like this arrangement wasn’t something to be embarrassed about, but something he’d chosen.
You felt something warm settle in your chest at that.
“So,” Mingyu said, dragging a chair closer and plopping down like he was settling in for a story. “I gotta ask. How did this happen?”
You blinked. “What?”
“You two,” Mingyu clarified, gesturing between you. “From boss and secretary to engaged and getting married soon.”
Seungcheol leaned forward, eyes bright. “Yeah. Did he seduce you with his wiles while pretending to work as your secretary?”
Vernon scoffed. “I did not seduce her.”
“You absolutely did,” Mingyu said. “Look at him. That’s a man who knows how to weaponize his good looks.”
You snorted. “That’s slander.”
“Oh, come on,” Seungcheol said. “You’re telling me he didn’t pull the whole competent, always-there, remembers-your-coffee-order routine?”
Vernon opened his mouth to protest again, but you beat him to it. “It’s not hard to fall for Vernon,” you said.
The table went quiet. You hadn’t planned to say that. It just slipped out.
You cleared your throat, suddenly aware of the way Vernon had turned fully toward you. “I mean—he is,” you continued. “He’s thoughtful. He pays attention. He notices things most people don’t bother with. He anticipates what needs to be done without making a show of it.”
Vernon didn’t interrupt. He just watched you, expression unreadable, eyes steady.
“He’s… considerate. And patient. And surprisingly kind. Of course, he’s sarcastic and all but even that is excusable because those little arguments are fun and makes every day less dull,” you added, smiling absently. “And he’s the sweetest. Which is annoying, actually, because it makes it hard to stay mad at him.”
You finally looked at Vernon.
He was smiling—but not the smug one, not the teasing one. This was softer, the same smile he had been giving you these last few days. The kind that looked like he was grateful for the existence of you. He looked like he hadn’t expected to hear all that, but he was holding it carefully now that it existed.
You gave him the same smile. Or as best as you could reflect it, hoping, and knowing, that he knew exactly what it meant. And you realized now that you had just crossed a line.
Straight up just stepped over it without hesitation, after telling yourself very clearly the night before where it was.
Mingyu stood abruptly. “Okay. Nope. I’m too single for this.” He waved a hand between the two of you. “You’re both being disgustingly in love. Kissing in front of me would’ve been less damaging.”
Wonwoo laughed. “Agreed. Let’s move on before I start believing in love again.”
You huffed a laugh, but it came out weaker than you meant it to. Your chest was heavy with warmth and feelings and… and love.
But you had no time to dwell on it. Someone suggested games. Someone else brought snacks. Chairs were pulled, conversations restarted, the day rolling forward like nothing had almost happened.
But when Vernon held your hand under the table later, not for show because no one would’ve seen it, you didn’t move away. And for the rest of the day, you didn’t bring up the line you’d drawn. You just quietly stood on the other side of it.
The engagement party thing was over by noon. Guests left one by one, and the family resumed preparations for Christmas Eve dinner. You were gathered in the kitchen with the adults, helping out with the cookies.
Vernon was sitting in a chair beside you, casually chatting with you and his mom about holiday traditions.
“Your parents actually used to host the winter bonfires,” said Vernon’s mom, smiling fondly at you.
“They did?” you asked, delighted to hear another anecdote about your parents.
She nodded. “Yes. Every year. And then your mom got pregnant with you, so they skipped a year. After that, the whole tradition just stopped,” she added, sighing. “They’d always made it so magical. We simply could not recreate it.”
Vernon leaned forward, gesturing with his mug. “I remember when I met her parents. Incredible people. And her mom’s so beautiful.”
The room froze. Adults exchanged sharp glances, eyebrows raised. His mom looked at him, brows furrowed. “You met her parents?”
“Yeah. I—” You nudged Vernon’s leg under the table, stopping him.
“But that’s impossible, dear,” Nana said, her voice laced with sympathy, “you couldn’t have. Her parents passed away a long time ago.”
You felt Vernon freeze beside you. Quick on your feet, you leaned slightly toward him, your tone casual as if nothing unusual had happened, as if your heart didn’t just sink to your stomach.
“Oh, I took him to their graves,” you said smoothly. “He met them there.”
Vernon blinked at you, clearly realizing he’d made a mistake.
“I wanted to introduce him to them first,” you added, smiling, channeling your best acting yet. “I didn’t know our connection yet at the time, but they were probably thrilled to know I’m marrying their close friend’s son.”
“Aw,” Vernon’s mom sighed. “That’s very thoughtful of you, isn’t it?”
The tension in the room melted almost instantly, replaced by murmurs and soft chuckles from the other adults. Conversation resumed around you, with only a few glances exchanged—reminders of the near slip, and of just how good you were at thinking on your feet.
Vernon reached for your hand, so you glanced at him. He looked apologetic, and you could tell it wasn’t because he nearly revealed that you weren’t in a real relationship. You smiled at him, patting his hand and mouthing, ‘It’s okay.’
By the time dinner preparations were done, you were exhausted. Exhausted from the engagement party, from socializing with people who were basically strangers to you, and exhausted from helping out in the kitchen.
“This is nice and all, but I think I prefer our boring Christmas dinners, Grandma,” you told your Grandma while getting dressed for dinner.
She chuckled heartily, sitting in front of her vanity and trying on a different shade of lipstick. “Being surrounded by people you love on Christmas is how it’s supposed to be, my dear. It’s a shame I couldn’t give you this kind of warmth growing up.”
“Hey,” you chided, walking toward her and wrapping your arms around her shoulder. “I have no complaints, so you shouldn’t talk like that. You raised me as best as you can and taught me everything I know.”
Your Grandma melted in your embrace, sighing as she put the lipstick down. “Yeah, you’re a wonderful kid, alright. I just wished you were a little sweeter.”
“Please,” you chuckled, pulling away. “My lack of sweetness and my attitude in general is thanks to you, as well.”
“I know that, but couldn’t you be more affectionate? Or expressive?” she sighed, gaze following you across the room. “Learn a thing or two about expressing yourself from Vernon.”
“Too late for that,” you quipped, checking your reflection in the mirror once more.
Your Grandma sighed in defeat. “I guess I should be glad you’re marrying him then. He can express affection for both of you.”
Then came a series of knocks on the door. You quickly walked toward it, yanking it open knowing Vernon would be on the other side.
“Hi,” he beamed, taking you in with his eyes. “You look amazing.”
You shrugged. “You don’t look so bad yourself, my love,” you replied, using your endearment, not because your grandma was there, but because… just because.
“Shall we?”
The dining room was warm, the scent of roasted meat and cinnamon filling the air. Dinner was loud like always in this house—chairs scraping, someone always talking over someone else, Nana shushing nobody in particular.
You ended up seated beside Vernon, mostly because every time you tried to move, someone asked you to stay. He passed you food without asking. You corrected his grip on the serving spoon once. He fixed it without comment.
At some point, his Nana leaned over. “Is now the best time to talk weddings?”
Vernon chuckled lightly. “Nana, it’s Christmas eve. We’ll have time for that later.”
Nana tried to insist, but eventually gave up when you both refused adamantly. Later, when some cousins got up to chase the kids outside for an impromptu snowball fight, Vernon leaned closer.
After dishes were cleared and the family settled around the living room for a low-volume carol playlist, you both slipped out to the balcony, leaving the laughter and chatter behind. The night was cold, and snowflakes drifted lazily downward, coating the garden below in soft white. Vernon wrapped a blanket around himself, then stood behind you.
“Is this okay?” he asked, wrapping his arms and the blanket around you.
You chuckled, feeling the warmth seep in immediately. “Are people watching?”
“Yeah. About a dozen of them,” he replied briskly. “I think I need to hold you closer. Make it more believable, you know?” he added, already tightening his arms around you.
You could tell he was lying, but you didn’t bother confirming. “You should, or we’d get caught,” you said, leaning your head against his chest.
“Your family has a lot of stamina,” you said after a pause. “I would’ve tapped out after day one.”
“You did better than I expected,” he replied, chuckling. “Everyone likes you. Nana adores you.”
“That’s terrifying,” you said, looking up at him. “She’s very perceptive.”
Vernon smiled, shifting a little and pressing his chin on top of your head. “Tomorrow’s Christmas Day.”
“I know. One more day and this is all over,” you replied, taking a long relieved breath. “We can finally go back to how things were.”
You felt him stiffen behind you, recovering almost as quickly. He laughed slowly. “I was actually thinking the same thing. When this is over, we could go back to our hectic, caffeinated daily routine, closing deals like champs, terrorizing the marketing head, pressuring manufacturers, calling the lab day in and day out for new and improved formulas.”
“You’re making us sound like bad capitalists,” you quipped, grinning. “I mean we’re capitalists but we're not that bad.”
Vernon chuckled, his chest vibrating against your back. “And I was also thinking…” he paused, loosened his arms, and turned you around so you could face him fully.
He braced his hands on the railing, caging you in as he stared into your eyes. You held your breath and looked away, unable to meet his eyes.
“I was thinking maybe we could go out on nice dinners sometimes. After work,” he continued. “Go on a road trip on weekends. Maybe catch a movie if you’re into that.”
“Like bosses and secretaries do?”
He huffed a laugh. “I’m pretty sure they don’t do that.”
You shrugged, still looking anywhere but his eyes. “They might. If they’re… dating.”
The word lingered between you, more meaningful than you meant it to be. Vernon stayed quiet for a few moments, then, softly, carefully, he said your name, the word rolling beautifully on his tongue.
You looked up, finally meeting his gaze. “Yes? Vernon?”
Something changed in his expression. Like you’d tapped something only he could feel. “That’s three times,” he said softly.
“What?”
“Three times you’ve called me by my name since we met.”
You blinked, surprised he’d even noticed. “You’re counting?”
He shrugged. “If you’re Secretary Chwe every minute of the day, you just can’t help but keep count.”
Neither of you moved. He didn’t step closer, diidn’t touch you, he just stayed there, giving you space and somehow still holding you in place.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, almost in a whisper.
“That would be breaking the rules,” you said, automatically. Not because you actually cared about the rules, but because you were too nervous. Your heart was kicking hard against your ribs. Your breathing was getting unsteady. And your skin was pricking not from the cold, but from anticipation.
“I knew you’d say that,” he chuckled, already leaning in.
You met him halfway. In a kiss that was soft and careful, growing firmer with every breath. His hand found your waist, warm through the layers, steadying you as your lips pressed back with more certainty.
For a moment, you couldn’t hear or see anything. You could only feel. Feel his hand around you, his lips against yours, his warmth, your warmth, his heartbeat against your own. Snow fell. Laughter drifted faintly from inside. The world continued on, unaware. Or maybe they were aware. You didn’t care. Right now, nothing else mattered but this moment right here.
Even after you pulled away, you stayed close, foreheads touching, breaths fogging, cheeks flushed, and grinning. Vernon’s hands lingered at your waist, firm but gentle, the warmth through the layers of your coats seeping into you like it was meant to.
“God, it’s freezing out here,” he murmured, voice low.
“You don’t say,” you whispered back, and the words were a laugh and a shiver at the same time.
He tilted his head slightly, nudging yours so your noses brushed. “I—” He stopped, exhaling sharply.
You tilted your chin up, meeting his eyes. “I know,” you said softly.
He let out a small laugh, almost a sigh, pressing a little closer. “I don’t want to stop.”
“Neither do I,” you admitted, and it came out softer than you expected, a confession you hadn’t planned to give aloud.
There was a pause, long enough that you could feel your heart hammering against your ribs, long enough that the wind seemed to hush around you. Your hands found his neck, and he leaned into your touch, eyes closing for just a fraction of a second before reopening, searching yours.
“I can’t pretend anymore.”
“Then let’s not,” you replied softly, and before you knew it, Vernon was scooping you up again for another kiss.
You were used to being in control.
Boardrooms fell silent whenever you walked in. People listened when you spoke. Decisions were set the moment you made them. Even now, in Vernon’s bedroom with the door closed and the city humming somewhere across the sea, you expected that familiar balance to tilt in your favor.
But it didn’t.
“What are you doing?” you asked, eyes wide and brows furrowed at Vernon who just stopped kissing you out of nowhere.
He shrugged, infuriatingly nonchalant and relaxed. “We need to slow down.”
“What?” you demanded, thoroughly confused. “What do you mean? This was your idea.”
“It is, but I need to know we’re on the same page here,” he said, smiling casually, but the firm grip of his hands on your hips told you he was restraining himself hard.
“I thought we made that clear?”
“No. What we did was stare into each other’s eyes and use vague words,” he said, gesturing vaguely.
You rolled your eyes, frustration bubbling over. “Vernon Chwe, I swear to God if you don’t kiss me right no—”
He crashed his lips into yours, shutting you up completely. Your body reacted immediately, heat and need shooting up through your core. Vernon’s long fingers tangled into your hair, tugging firmly until a moan escaped from your lips. He took this chance to shove his tongue into your open mouth. You pulled him even closer, breasts pressing against his broad chest.
His kisses trailed to your jaw, one hand slipping under your shirt to touch the skin of your waist. You gasped when his mouth latched to your neck, sucking and nipping.
“Vernon,” you said, tapping his shoulders. “Take me to the bed.”
Vernon pulled away just enough to press his forehead against you, smirking. “Is that an order?” he rasped, his hand underneath your shirt now moving to slip past your bra.
“No?” you breathed, holding back a moan when he gave your nipple a gentle squeeze. “Is it?”
“It better not be,” he whispered into your ear, lips brushing the sensitive skin. He took your wrists “I’ll allow that at work, but don’t think for one second that I’m gonna let you tell me what to do in my room…”
He kissed your neck, making your skin shiver in the best way. “Or on my bed,” he added, licking your throat.
You moaned out his name, but he was quick to press a finger on your lips. “Shush, love. This may be a big house, but the walls here are thin.”
“Vernon…” you purred, and he cupped your cheek gently, then pressed a long, lingering kiss to your forehead.
“Be quiet, alright?” he said, smiling before disappearing from your line of sight.
You were confused for a fraction of a second. Then you felt your skirt being lifted, followed by something pressing on your clothed cunt without warning.
You gasped, realizing belatedly that it was Vernon’s nose. You felt him take a long sniff, hand wrapping around your thigh. You grabbed a fistful of his hair and he let out a growl the likes of which you’d never heard before.
A second later, he was devouring you, relentless and insatiable, leaving you trembling under his touch. Your grip on his hair tightened, your knees were threatening to give out with every lick. If it wasn’t for his tight hold around your legs, you would have collapsed on the floor already.
Vernon slipped a finger into you, without warning, making you gasp. He rose to his feet, finger still inside you, his other hand pushing loose hair behind your ear as he shushed you gently.
“The entire house is gonna hear you, and they’re gonna know exactly what’s going on in here,” he said, as if it wasn’t his fingering that was making you make all these noises.
But you listened anyway, biting down your lower lip, tears pricking at your eyelids when he pushed a second finger in. You buried your face on his chest, fingers digging into his shoulders as he pushed you closer to the edge
Vernon pressed his lips on the side of your head, shushing you gently while still brutally ramming his fingers in and out of your sex.
Then you felt that familiar knot twisting low in your belly, threatening to come undone. Your breathing turned erratic, breasts falling and rising rapidly as you braced for an orgasm. Vernon saw that, kissed your cheek, and moved harder amd faster.
His fingers were cramping, but the delightful look on your face was spurring him on. He couldn’t wait to see the beautiful face you’d make when it’s finally him drilling into your sweet cunt. Just thinking about it was making his cock throb—hard and hot, still trapped in his pants.
“Vernon, I’m—” you cut yourself off, gasping, body jerking, hands on his shoulders gripping tighter as a wave of orgasmm surged through you.
Then you fell limp against Vernon, who held you steadily. He kissed you again because… well because he just couldn’t stop himself from kissing you, could he? His head was clouded, and all he could think of was how much he wanted to fuck your brains out.
So he lifted your thighs, wrapped your legs around his legs and carried you over to the bed.
You fell on the mattress with a bounce, still out of breath from the aftershocks of your orgasm. Vernon crawled over you, smirk tugging at his lips.
“Still wanna tell me what to do?” he asked, mouth hovering just above yours.
You hesitated. That hesitation made him smile. “That’s what I thought,” he murmured, kissing you again.
His hand pinned your wrist above your head, the other tracing down your side like he was rewriting the rules you lived by. He gathered the hem of your sweater, yanking it up and over your head, before crashing his lips back to yours.
Your skirt and stockings followed immediately after, his hands settling on your thighs, spreading them wide enough for him to marvel at the sight of your wet pussy.
“Like what you’re seeing?” you asked, confidence spiking because Vernon was looking at you like you were the eighth wonder of the world.
He huffed an amused laugh, hand tracing your thigh. “Oh, I love it. You have no idea.”
When was the last time you felt this kind of intense desire and uninhibited pleasure? You couldn’t even remember. Not that it mattered. Vernon was here to rock your entire world tonight, with that rock-hard, standing tall, deliciously girthy manhood that had just sprang free from the confines of his boxers.
You held your breath when he positioned himself between your legs, licking a stripe on his hands and coating his cock with the slick. Your fingers curled into the sheets as he pressed into you slowly, the earlier orgasm making him slide smoothly, but the stretch made you whimper.
“Don’t make me cover that mouth myself,” he warned, grinning so sweetly, unaware of the surge of pleasure that just shot through you when he said those words.
He bottomed out with a groan, his body settling over yours as he collected himself. His hair brushed your face as he moaned against your chest, muttering curses under his breath.
Meanwhile, you were catching your breath, chest rising and falling rapidly. “Vernon, I need you to move. Please. Please. Please,” you’d basically pleaded.
Vernon exhaled sharply, lifting his head to meet your gaze and plant a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll allow it because you asked nicely,” he quipped, pulling out for a second just before thrusting into you.
Your chest rose and fell against his, nerves dancing in sensations his every move was sending through your body. Your fingers tangled, your breaths mingled, heat lingered in every glance, and every brush of skin. You clung to him, losing track of everything except his touch and the way he held you close.
The world had narrowed to the feeling of him against you, the pull and the push—especially the push. Your lower lip stung from biting too hard to keep yourself quiet. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, echoing in his.
He brushed a strand of hair from your face, lips grazing your temple, and the shiver that ran down your spine was delightful and hot.
“You are most beautiful,” he whispered, eyes locked with yours, filled with sincerity and something tender… something that looked a lot like love.
Snow kept falling outside, and somewhere between the haze of lust and warmth, you were sure that whatever came next would leave both of you ruined in the best possible way. But at the same time, you realized you wouldn’t have wanted to stop even if you could.
You woke up to Vernon’s arms wrapped around you, his warmth seeping through the blankets, his scent lingering in your hair and on your clothes. He was awake, head propped on one hand, watching you with that half-smile that made your chest tighten.
“What are you doing?” you mumbled, embarrassed, burying your face against his shoulder.
“Keeping my eyes on you in case this turns out to be a dream and you disappear,” he said in one breath, brushing loose strands of hair behind your ear.
You grinned, snuggling closer. “That’s so corny.”
You stayed like that for a few more minutes, savoring the warmth and the way his hand traced idle patterns along your side. But the inevitability of the morning eventually caught up with you. It’s Christmas Day. By now, the rest of the family would be gathered downstairs, waiting to open gifts and celebrate some more.
“Come on. You should see what I got you,” he said, sitting up. “It’s in a red box with a shiny green ribbon on it.”
“You got me something?” you asked, genuinely surprised.
Vernon looked at you like the answer should have been obvious. “Of course, I got you something. It’s Christmas. You’re supposed to— wait…” he paused, narrowing his eyes at you. “You didn’t get me anything, did you?”
You smiled sheepishly, and Vernon’s jaw dropped. But then he shrugged, reached to cup your face, and grinned.
“It’s okay. I think I received my best Christmas gift yet,” he chimed, leaning in to kiss you.
You ended up cuddling in bed again. Vernon was relentless, kissing the back of your neck, tugging your hands, soft murmurs of promises that made your heart flutter and your cheeks burn. Getting up after that was slow. Clothes, brushing teeth, and somehow, through a haze of laughter, stolen kisses, and whispers, you managed to get ready.
“You’re so pretty,” he said, standing behind you in front of the mirror and wrapping his arms around.
“Thanks. I figured I should try harder if I’m gonna date someone so handsome,” you replied, turning to face him, arms finding their way around his neck.
Vernon grinned, clearly pleased with what he just heard. “You don’t need to. You’re already too beautiful for someone like me.”
You rolled your eyes, not buying it. “You clearly don’t understand just how beautiful you are, Vernon Chwe.”
He kissed you again, and you had to squirm out of his hold and walk out of the room first or you’d spend the whole morning locked in the bedroom with him.
The first thing you noticed when you reached the bottom of the stairs was the silence. The usual mayhem of children squealing and zooming around, adults chattering, holiday music in the background—it was all gone. Only the adults were there, standing rigidly, staring at the two of you.
Your stomach dropped. Something was wrong, you could feel it in your bones.
Vernon stepped closer, taking your hand in his. “What’s going on?”
No one answered. Then his mom stepped forward, her smile tight, eyes not quite meeting his. She shoved a piece of paper into his hands, and you immediately recognized your carefully constructed contract even before reading the words.
“What is the meaning of that?” his mom asked, her voice small and hesitant. “Vernon, tell us right now. Why is there a document like that in your bedroom?”
The words didn’t register at first. The paper in his hands felt heavy, like it had gravity all its own. You tried to breathe but your chest felt hollow.
Vernon opened his mouth, searching for the right words, and your heart hammered in sympathy and panic. “We… I can explain…”
Voices erupted around you, overlapping, frantic and sharp. Someone asked why he did this. Another said this was unnecessary and that he didn’t have to deceive everyone. One voice asked if he had any motive. Another asked if he thought of this family as a joke.
You barely made sense of it, caught between the tidal wave of accusations, most of them being directed at Vernon. He kept his hand around yours, holding you tight and shielding you with his body as his family demanded answers from him. The rest of the room seemed to tilt and spin. You barely heard him try to speak again; his words were drowned out by questions, accusations, demands—all of it directed at him.
Finally, you found your voice, loud and firm, “It’s my fault.”
All eyes turned toward you, stunned at your words. You took in their confused faces, then exhaled sharply.
“I made him do this,” you added, tugging your hand away from Vernon’s grasp. “There was a… a situation,” you began to explain, choosing your words carefully.
“A supposedly one-off situation that unexpectedly spiraled out of control. And I know, we could have avoided this by being honest from the get-go but…” Your gaze swept the room and settled on your grandma in the corner. You thought she’d look angry, but all you could see on her face was sympathy. “But we didn’t. We couldn’t.”
You flattened your lips into a smile, still directed at your grandmother. “Not when it was the first time in a long time that I saw someone smile as brightly as she did when she heard I had a fiancee.”
Your Grandma’s hand flew to her mouth, his brows furrowing, and she looked away. You turned to the rest of Vernon’s family. To his Nana, to his parents, his aunts and uncles—the very people who welcomed you warmly into their home.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I have my reasons, but they’re all just excuses. Selfish excuses. I shouldn’t have dragged your entire family into this. I wouldn’t have,” you paused, taking a deep breath and turning to Vernon. “I wouldn’t have if I had known just how much you loved Vernon.”
You turned to everyone again. Nana’s hand was on her chest, Vernon’s mom was covering her mouth in shock.
“So don’t blame him. It’s not his fault. He’s a really good man,” you added, smiling bitterly. “He just couldn’t say no to his Medusa of a boss who promised him a raise and regularization if he agreed to do this.”
“Stop,” Vernon said, taking your hand. “I didn’t agree to this because of that—”
“It’s okay, Secretary Chwe,” you interrupted, forcing a smile. “I’m sorry for ruining your Christmas. I’ll leave,” you said, voice steady despite the tremor in your chest. You glanced at Nana, and the words escaped almost like a prayer: “You have a wonderful family. I’m sorry. I wish we didn’t have to meet like this.”
And with that, you walked out, leaving Vernon rooted in place, the paper still in his hand, the room swirling with stunned silence.
Before you knew it, you were sinking into your seat on the plane, the engines vibrating softly beneath you. Beside you, your grandma was perfectly composed, her hands folded neatly in her lap as she stared out the window at the receding tarmac.
Vernon’s family had tried to make you stay. Gentle pleas, promises to table the matter of your deceit and unpack it properly. But you knew they were only being polite. That was just the kind of family they were, too nice for their own good.
You stared at the screen in front of you, counting the buttons, the logos stamped into the leather, your thoughts spinning in circles. Finally, you broke the quiet.
“Grandma…” Your voice was small, tentative. “Why aren’t you mad?”
Her calm eyes met yours. “Why would I be mad?” she asked, tilting her head slightly, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “I knew everything from the beginning.”
Your chest tightened. “You did?”
She nodded serenely. “Of course. You thought you were so clever, but you forgot that I taught you how to use that intelligent brain of yours.”
You blinked. “Wait… what? How?”
Grandma leaned back, unbothered by your wide-eyed stare. “My dear, with whom do you think I set you up with on that last blind date I begged you to go to?”
Your stomach dropped. “That… that was… No way.” You chuckled, in denial. “It can’t have been Vernon.”
“Oh, but it was,” she said, as if it were the simplest, most obvious thing in the world. “I kept telling you I knew his family. But you wouldn’t even give a second to hear me out. Imagine my surprise when I saw you in that hotel lobby, calling Vernon Chwe your fiancee.”
At this point, your heart beat has turned erratic. “If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was trying to see how far you were willing to take this charade. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but Vernon asked me to play along, so I did,” she explained.
You turned sharply to face her, incredulous. “Vernon knew that you knew?”
“Yes. He was confident he could make you fall in love and turn this pseudorelationship into a real thing. Sunhee and I had so much fun watching you struggle to maintain a face all week.”
Your jaw dropped. “Who else knows?”
“No one else, as far as I know.” Her hand rested gently over yours. “My dear, you’re clearly overwhelmed right now. Let’s talk about this later.”
You slumped back in your seat, staring out the window at the clouds streaked with gold from the rising sun, your mind buzzing. She knew. Nana knew. Vernon knew they knew. And somehow, that knowledge made the entire avalanche of the past twenty-four hours feel both heavier and… a little lighter.
Vernon first met you when he was ten.
It was summer, hot and loud and bright in the way summers only feel when you’re a kid. His kite had gotten stuck in a tree at the park, and he’d decided that climbing it himself was a good idea.
But he was wrong. He slipped on the way down, scraped his knee, and sat there sniffing quietly, holding back his tears, more embarrassed than hurt.
Then you appeared out of nowhere, crouched in front of him, asked if he could stand, and when he said no, you sighed like an adult who’d already dealt with worse problems than a bleeding knee.
After covering his knee with a cartoon Band Aid from your purse, you climbed the tree yourself and brought the kite down like it was nothing.
You were taller than him back then. Probably smarter, and more mature. And when you handed the kite to him and smiled, all he could think was that you were pretty. Like an angel.
He never saw you again after that day. Life moved on, as it does. He went to school, made friends, and had growth spurts. The memory of you drifted to the back of his mind, filed away with other half-remembered moments from childhood.
Until college.
He didn’t recognize you at first. Years had a way of blurring faces, and he almost walked past you at the freshman welcome party until you laughed. Suddenly he was ten again, at the park with a scraped knee and a kite in his hands.
You’d grown prettier, smarter, and more graceful. He was much much taller than you now, but the difference in height only made Vernon think you were cute.
He hadn’t even wanted to attend this party. He’d only gone because his cousin promised to cover his chores for a month if he showed up. Vernon wasn’t naïve—he knew his cousin wanted him there as decoration. He’d grown into his looks by then, and he was ‘handsome’, something people never let him forget, even when he wished they would.
But that night, for the first time in his life, he thought maybe he could use his looks for something other than being stared at. Maybe he could use it to charm his way into your contacts.
He planned to talk to you. Just to say ‘hi’. Maybe ask if you remembered him from all those summers ago. Or maybe he didn’t need to bring up the past at all. He could just talk to you. Say something normal. Ask for your number.
He stood near the drinks table, psyching himself up. But when the moment came, his nerves got the better of him. So he took a shot of soju.
Liquid courage, he told himself.
Then another. Then a third, because his heart was still beating too fast and you were laughing again and seeing that was making it hard for him to breathe.
By the fourth, his cousin was asking if he was okay. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, eyes locked on you a few tables away.
His cousin poured a shot for himself, and Vernon snatched it away, downing it straight just to see if it would make him less nervous.
Before he knew it, he was already wasted, slumped over a table, cheek pressed to cold plastic. Someone had drawn something obscene on his hand. The party was over, and you were gone. He lay there for a long moment, staring at a bottle, wondering how he’d managed to mess it up without ever actually trying.
After that, he saw you everywhere. The library, the quad, the cafeteria line. Sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded by people. You never noticed him, and he never pushed himself into your space.
Then one afternoon, he saw you holding hands with someone. Apparently, you’d started seeing this guy from the Liberal Arts department. That night, he went back to his dorm, shut the door, lay on his bed, and stared at the ceiling.
His cousin glanced over. “What’s up with you? You look like you just got dumped”
“I might as well have been,” Vernon said, voice flat. He turned his face into his pillow and let himself feel stupid for exactly five minutes.
Then he moved on because that was just life. He was happy that you were happy.
He dipped his own toes in the dating pool. Dated seriously, even. He laughed, fell in and out of love, learned what he liked and didn’t. You became a fond thought in the back of his head, not a fixation. And also something his friends teased him about every now and then.
Then senior year came. He heard you’d broken up, and realized he still liked you. So he thought about trying again.
He did the same thing without realizing: took shots for liquid courage. One too many shots, obviously. And passed out on a couch before he could say your name, obviously.
Senior year came and went. Graduation followed. He figured that was that. Some people were just meant to be memories.
And his life after college had already been mapped out for him. Vernon worked long hours in his family’s corporation. He learned how to sit through meetings without showing boredom, how to be sharp without being cruel. He dated when he had time, stopped when he didn’t. He built a reputation he hadn’t asked for but carried well enough.
Every once in a while, your name surfaced not from memory, but from screens. LinkedIn updates. A promotion. An article shared by someone else. Your company’s name appeared frequently in industry chatter. You weren’t loud online. You had Instagram but didn’t post much.
He nodded at those updates like they were news about someone he once knew well.
Years later, when he heard about a potential partnership with your company, he volunteered to handle it without hesitation. It wasn’t even his division, but he argued his case until he won.
He told everyone else that it was professional curiosity. Strategic interest. Nothing else. In reality, he thought maybe this would finally put him in the same room as you again.
But it didn’t. Nana collapsed. That family emergency pulled him away the day of the meeting, and the opportunity slipped through his fingers. Life, once again, had other plans. He never made it to the meeting. Someone else took over. The partnership went through anyway, handled efficiently, just not by him.
You stayed untouchable and unseen. And of course, he moved on again.
Years passed. Nana recovered and became sharper than ever. She mentioned your name casually over tea.
“Her grandma’s worried,” she said. “She thinks that brilliant granddaughter of hers works too much. She called, asking if I knew someone suitable.”
“Someone suitable? A husband?” Vernon’s mom asked.
He froze in his seat, hand hovering as he reached for his teacup.
“Yes,” Nana continued, watching him carefully over the rim of her cup. “I told her I might know someone, but I don’t approve of arranged marriages.”
Vernon’s mom glanced at him too, the only man in the family who hasn’t married yet. “It would be nice. I heard she’s very intelligent and pretty. But I’m a fan of true love too, mama. These days they call it ‘organic encounter’.”
That night, Vernon stared at his ceiling for a long time and made a decision.
He left his job, much to his family’s dismay. They managed to reel him in with his contract, but as soon as that was over, Vernon was out. He moved cities. Applied to your company hoping he’d get closer to you through work. But te only position open was an internship. He took it anyway.
It was a humbling position. Educational. Occasionally ridiculous, and nowhere near you. Apparently interns didn’t meet CEOs on the reg.
So for months, you were just a name, a presence on another floor. Interns and other employees often talked about you—brilliant, dedicated, but formidable and terrifying. Medusa, they called you.
Vernon would find himself standing up for you against men in his department who uttered inappropriate comments. Especially those who questioned your right to sit in the CEO’s office.
And then one Tuesday morning, Vernon was at the reception desk, sorting documents he wasn’t technically supposed to touch yet, when the elevators chimed.
He didn’t look up. He didn’t really need to. But then he heard a familiar voice calling him by name.
“Vernon Chwe?” the voice repeated, making him look up and freeze.
Your grandmother stood at the front desk, elegant as always. She looked exactly the way Vernon remembered her from childhood. She leaned on her cane more out of habit than necessity, eyes sharp as they swept his face. “Is that you, dear boy?”
Vernon straightened instinctively, unsure why his heart had started beating faster. He swallowed. “Yes, ma’am.”
A pleased smile spread across her face. “Well,” she said lightly, tapping her cane against the floor once. “I thought so. My, how much you’re grown.”
His mouth went dry. “You remember me?”
She laughed softly. “Of course I do. What are you doing here? Last I heard you were Executive Director at your family’s company.”
Vernon hesitated. Then he sighed, knowing full well how hard it was gonna be to lie to your grandma. “I think we’re gonna need to sit down if I’m to answer that question.”
Your Grandma seemed to understand something. “Come to tea this Sunday. Let’s unpack whatever that is.”
And Vernon did meet with your grandma that Sunday. And he confessed that he was there because of you. After hours of talking about you, your grandma decided to set him up on a blind date with you.
To say he was thrilled was an understatement. Vernon was over the moon. He couldn’t wait for the day to come. Though Grandma did warn him that she had a habit of not showing up to these dates. He was still looking forward to it, hoping your grandma stayed true to her words when she said she would try to convince you.
Then Becca came by the intern lounge, asking if anyone wanted to be your temporary secretary while she was on maternity leave.
“For Medusa?” someone murmured quietly.
Silence followed, and interns exchanged nervous glances. Vernon was the only one who raised his hand.
Becca stared at him. “I need to know if you’re serious about this.”
“Yes.”
“You’re gonna be paid a regular’s rate, but it’s not gonna be an easy task.”
“I know. I can handle it.”
She sighed. “Fine. No backing out at the last minute, alright?” she said, pointing her pen at him. “Follow me. Training starts now.”
Vernon trained for a week, learning schedules and systems, familiarizing himself with important names and contacts, copying the cadence of your emails. All this while stealing glances into your office, or staring a little too long whenever you passed by.
He reminded himself to be normal. To not let the past—or the crush—color the present. Even though it had clearly already taken over his entire world.
And then came the day Vernon was finally getting introduced to you. Becca had given him the head’s up the day before, and he took an extra hour getting ready the next day.
He stood with Becca in your office, patiently waiting for you to walk into those heavy glass doors. When you did, Vernon straightened up. Luckily that time, he didn’t get drunk or pass out anymore. Everything after that was an experience Vernon would never forget.
And now, over a month later, there he was, standing just inside your office, asking you to take him back.
It was the 29th. Just two days before New Year’s Day and four days since the whole fiasco at the Chwe Estate. Grandma and Nana had invited you out on a brunch where you apologized—more than once. For the lies. For leaving. For ruining Christmas.
Nana waved it all off with a soft laugh, insisting none of it mattered as much as you thought it did. “We’ve seen worse.”
She said the family wasn’t really angry, just shocked. Said that if you’d stayed, things wou;d’ve been resolved over breakfast and hot cocoa, the way they always did.
“What’s done is done,” your grandma had said simply, stirring her coffee. “At least you learned a lesson from this experience.”
You didn’t bring up Vernon. You couldn’t, not after how vague things were left between you. The grandmas seemed to understand that the subject was touchy and decided not to bring it up either.
After brunch, you told them you had something for Nana—and for everyone back home. It had arrived at the office that morning, and that was how the three of you ended up there instead of going straight home.You drove back to the office with the city humming around you, hands steady on the wheel despite everything sitting heavy in your chest.
They followed you into the building where employees greeted your grandma at every turn, surprised to see THE big boss parading the halls. You heard Nana quip about your grandma building an empire through inflicting fear upon her people, and laughed along when they did.
But that laughter died down the moment you stepped out of the elevator and found Vernon Chwe standing near reception, hands clasped loosely in front of him, jacket still on like he hadn’t been sure whether to stay or leave. He looked up the moment the elevator opened, like he’d been waiting for it.
For a second, no one moved. Your brows furrowed, relief and confusion washing over you. Relief because four days felt too long and you’d missed him the whole time. Confusion because what was he doing there? And why did he wait until now to come see you?
“What are you doing here?” you finally asked.
He picked up a clear bag from the floor and lifted it for you to see. “You didn’t get to see what I got you,” he said and your eyes locked on the red giftbox with a green ribbon inside the clear bag.
Your grandma squeezed your arm gently. “We’ll give you two a moment.”
Nana was already nodding, amused. “Yes. Let’s let the kids sort it out.”
You didn’t protest, letting them walk back into the elevator, muttering and giggling. The office fell quiet. You and Vernon were staring at each other while the rest of the people on that floor held their breath. You could feel their eyes, watching and waiting for whatever was about to go down.
You exhaled and started walking toward your office. Vernon followed silently behind. You didn’t say anything until you were inside your office, the door clicking shut behind you. It was quieter here, insulated from the rest of the floor.
You turned to face him. “My grandma told me something about you,” you said, not elaborating because he probably already knows what you mean. “Is it true?
“It is,” he answered quickly.
You let out a slow breath. “So you liked me even before I asked you to be my fake fiancee?”
A small smile tugged at his mouth. “Oh, I liked you longer than that.”
Your heart stuttered, just before beating wildly in your chest.
“When we were kids, when we were in college… I liked you in different ways, at different stages of my life.” He met your eyes fully. “And now… Now I’m in love with you.”
You kept your voice steady, hands clenching at your sides as you tried your best not to just go ahead and jump in his arms. “Why didn’t you come see me sooner?”
“I tried, but I didn’t really get a chance. You were in a relationship with this dude in college—”
“No, I meant after we left the island on Christmas day,” you interrupted.
Vernon paused, realization dawning on him. “Oh. Oh, I wanted to,” he said. “But no one was allowed to leave the island until the holidays were over. That’s not negotiable in my family. And I needed to sort things out. With them. With myself. I didn’t want to come to you half-done.”
You laughed under your breath. “Do you always have to do things properly?”
He shrugged. “I wanted to do this one right.”
Silence fell between you. You crossed your arms, still unsure what to do, how to navigate this. “I’m sorry,” you said first, because you had to. He deserved it. “For leaving like that. For not letting you say anything.”
He shook his head. “I would’ve followed you anyway.”
“So?” you asked, heat creeping up your neck. “What now?”
Vernon took one tentative step closer. “Well, my new year’s resolution is to kiss you everyday for the rest of my life.”
You huffed a laugh, caught off guard. “That’s a… very specific commitment.”
“I’m very committed to it.”
You laughed despite yourself, and Vernon watched with a fond smile, just before silence came again. You were both standing at the edge of something you didn’t want to rush or ruin.
“Well?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you just gonna stand there all day or do I have to kiss you myself?”
Vernon’s mouth stretched into the biggest, happiest smile you’d ever seen on a man. He crossed the distance between you in one step, then wrapped his arms around you. You hugged him back just as tightly, instinctively, like it was something your body had been waiting for longer than your mind wanted to admit.
Then he kissed you. A kiss that answered everything, one that didn’t ask questions anymore. For a moment, the world narrowed down to just the two of you. But only for a moment because three seconds later, the sound of clapping, cheers, and hooting erupted around the office.
Startled, you pulled back just enough to see past his shoulder and realized that the entire floor had been watching from outside the clear glass walls of your office.
“Oh my god,” you exclaimed, looking at Vernon and then laughing. “Do you think they heard you confess your love for me?” you teased.
Vernon glanced around, then back at you, utterly unbothered. “I don’t care,” he said, scooping you up and kissing you again.
The office erupted all over again, a whole floor of employees witnessing the day you and Vernon made a scene professing love like you were in cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie.
After being stood up and leaving you heartbroken, Hansol spirals with guilt while you shut down into silence. Desperate to fix what he ruined, he confronts the damage he caused and fights to earn back your trust and love.
❧ PAIRING; hansol x reader
❧ GENRE; angst, hurt/comfort
❧ TAGS/WARNINGS; established relationship, arguments, tears, reader is kind of stubborn, Hansol in an idiot, swearing, happy ending, lots of tears and kisses, maybe quite dramatic (LOL)
❧ WORDCOUNT; 12.1k
[ part of the Silent Treatment series ]
𐚁₊⊹
▎27 NOVEMBER 2021
You were known to have the patience of a saint. It was an almost uncanny ability you had to stay calm in situations that would push most people past their limits. Some admired you for it, even envied you.
“I could never hold my tongue like that,” or “I’d have snapped ages ago” they’d say.
But others didn’t see it as a strength though. They said you were too lenient, or too soft. They’d say how it allowed people to walk all over you and mistake your tolerance for weakness.
And maybe, sometimes, they were right.
There were moments when you looked back on situations and questioned your silence. You would wonder if your refusal to speak out had cost you something. Respect, peace of mind or justice. You would pride yourself on not reacting impulsively and staying level-headed when emotions ran high. You told yourself that staying silent was strength and not cowardice.
But deep down, there were times you wished you had the confidence to just say what you were thinking. Perhaps not out of anger, but out of self-respect. You weren’t looking to lash out, you just wanted to be heard.
There was never really a middle ground in how people saw you. But the truth is, you lived in that gray area. You tried to be kind without being small, and tolerant without being invisible.
And today was your breaking point.
Angry tears welled in your eyes as you stared at your phone for what felt like the hundredth time. Still nothing from your boyfriend. There were no messages or any missed calls, let alone an excuse as to why he still didn’t show up yet. Just the same empty lock screen that mocked your patience.
Hansol promised to take you out for a fancy dinner at the Lotte Tower, a proper date you were both too busy to have for weeks. You even made the effort of dressing up for it. You did your hair just right, applied light make-up and sprayed the perfume he once said he liked. But now, an hour passed, and you were still sitting alone at the table he claimed to have reserved.
You felt so ridiculous.
The waiters approached your table several times and each gentle interruption only deepened the pit in your stomach. They asked politely if you’d like something to drink, perhaps a small starter while you waited. But you would smile tightly each time and shake your head while repeating the same line, “I’ll wait until my boyfriend arrives.”
That was only if he came.
It felt more like a lie each time you said it. A part of you held on to the hope that he’d walk in, flustered and apologetic. But with every minute that passed by, that hope thinned into bitterness.
The staff tried to hide their sympathy, but you saw it anyway. The last thing you wanted was anyone’s pity.
Not only were you overwhelmed with embarrassment, but the sting hurt deeper knowing it was your own boyfriend who left you hanging. While other couples around you enjoyed their meals together and how happily they laughed amongst themselves, you couldn’t help but feel like a complete fool who still waited for someone that wasn’t even going to come.
And if the night didn’t humiliate you enough, you opened Instagram. Just to distract yourself. And that was when you clicked on Hailey’s story, Hansol’s best friend. It was posted five minutes ago.
It was a photo of your boyfriend who was fast asleep on Hailey’s unmistakable pink sofa, body curled slightly and one arm wrapped around a purple whale plushie. His hair was a mess and his mouth was slightly open, completely at peace.
But what really hit you wasn’t the image itself. It was the caption. “Supposed to be looking after me but I’m looking after him instead,” followed by a deadpan, unamused emoji. Like it was some kind of joke. Like you weren’t sitting in a restaurant across town, checking the door every five minutes, still half-believing he might walk in with an excuse.
Instead, he was passed out at her house. It wasn’t even the lack of decency from him to let you know he couldn’t make it that stung the most. It was how casual it all seemed to them.
To say you were absolutely livid would be a gross understatement.
You weren’t just angry, you were shaking with it. It was a white-hot rage bubbling just beneath your skin that was ready to explode within you.
Your jaw was clenched so tightly it hurt, and your heart pounded against your ribs like it was trying to escape. Every breath you took felt shallow, that made your chest tight with disbelief. You were boiling down to the core, like a volcano seconds from erupting.
It blurred your vision and made your ears ring.
Your hand gripped your phone with so much force, it was a miracle the screen didn’t shatter right there in your palm. You swore you heard a small crack, but perhaps it was the plastic or glass protesting under the pressure of your clenched fingers. But you didn’t loosen your grip. You couldn’t. Because letting go felt too much like surrender, and right now, you were clinging to any scrap of control you had left.
The tears that were brimming in your eyes finally came flooding down. You tried to blink them away, but it was no use. They kept spilling over, trailing down your cheeks in silence. And you didn’t even bother wiping them. You didn’t care at this point. You just let them fall. You just let the whole damn restaurant see. What did it matter now?
Your eyes were still stuck on the photo. And her caption…the smug nonchalance of it was enough to make your blood run colder than the North Pole. She knew. She had to know. And if she didn’t, then maybe that made it worse.
Your body was trembling. Every limb of yours was buzzing with energy that had nowhere to go. You felt like you could scream, throw the table across the room, or smash your phone right into the tiled floor.
But you didn’t. You just sat there, paralysed, like a statue made of nothing but anger and heartbreak.
Everything around you became a blur. It all faded into background noise, meaningless against the storm inside you. You were breaking, right there in public, and yet the world just kept turning.
You were furious. But more than that, you were hurt. Deeply and irreparably hurt.
So what do you do now? Honestly, you had no idea.
Your brain was still catching up to everything your heart had just been dragged through. But your body moved on its own, like it was acting on instinct. There was no plan, no thought. Just motion.
You reached into your purse with shaky fingers, pulled out a few bills, and placed them on the table beside your untouched mocktail.
It wasn’t much, but it felt like the least you could do. It was a silent gesture to thank and apologise to the staff for the time you’d taken up sitting there alone waiting for someone who never came.
Without a word, you pushed the chair back and stood. Your legs felt numb and heavy, but you forced them to move. You didn’t look at anyone. You didn’t owe anyone an explanation. All you could do was storm out, heart thudding in your chest like a war drum.
The atmosphere in the elevator felt suffocating as it descended, and the mirrors reflected the tear-streaked version of you that you didn’t want to see. You simply stared straight ahead, refusing to blink.
Then, as the doors slid open and you stepped into the lobby, your phone buzzed with a notification. The sound shot through you like a jolt. Part of you hoped that it was Hansol, but it wasn’t, it was your older brother Joshua.
[JOSH]:
Are you done with your little date? Mum’s bugging me to get her tangerines but I’m too lazy to go out now😴
The message lit up your screen as you walked through the quiet lobby. You stared at the notification for a few seconds, and the absurdity of it made your lips twitch. Despite the ache sitting heavy in your chest, you broke into a small, crooked smile through the tears still clinging to your lashes.
Your mother and her eternal obsession with tangerines. No matter the season, no matter the day, she somehow always needed more. It was ridiculous. But comforting in her sense.
[YOU]:
Got stood up. But I’ll pick some up on my way👍tell mum to tolerate her cravings for a bit lol.
You hit send before you could think twice about how blunt it sounded. And the reply from your brother came almost instantly.
[Josh]:
???
[Josh]:
What do you mean you got stood up?
You stared at the screen. The question felt like salt in a raw wound. Reading his name again hurt more than you expected. You could practically hear the disbelief in Joshua’s voice, like he couldn’t even begin to process the idea.
And honestly? You couldn’t either.
Your thumb hovered over the keyboard. You thought about explaining. But it all was too much. You didn’t want to relive it, not right now. You didn’t want to see the pity, or the anger, or the judgment — not even from your brother.
So instead, you just turned off your phone and shoved it deep into your coat pocket. Maybe silence felt easier than trying to explain heartbreak.
╴╴╴╴╴
You regretted not bringing your car. Deeply. At the time, it seemed like the better option. You thought you’d have Hansol to drop you home. But now, walking alone in the cold with swollen eyes and a heart that felt like it had been wrung out, it was painfully clear that you miscalculated.
It wasn’t that you didn’t have options. You could’ve taken the bus, hopped on the subway, or even called a taxi. But the idea of crying in a crowded space full of strangers while your eyes burned and your chest ached? You couldn't do it. You didn’t want sympathetic looks or awkward glances. You didn’t want to be seen at all.
You didn’t trust yourself to hold it together. Not when every second of silence from Hansol felt like another shove deeper into the hollow pit growing in your stomach.
There was still not a single message. Not one missed call. Not even a lame excuse.
You stood outside a brightly lit convenience store as you held the weight of a full bag of tangerines which was dragging at your arm. Your fingers were freezing around the plastic handles, but you didn’t care.
With a sigh, you fumbled for your phone again and dialed Joshua’s number. You knew he didn’t want to come out.
He’d said as much earlier, “too lazy” and too comfortable, typical Joshua. But you were going to make him come anyway. He didn’t get a choice. Not tonight.
After a few rings, he finally answered.
“Can you pick me up?” you asked tiredly and almost bluntly, not even giving him a chance to greet you first.
There was a beat of silence on the other end before your brother spoke up.
“Hey, are you okay?”
You could hear the worry in his voice, and it cracked something in you.
You bit down on your lip, hard, before answering. “Yeah, I just…I don’t know Joshua,” you said, your voice starting to waver despite your efforts to stay composed.
There was another pause. You could practically hear the gears turning in his head, and him grabbing his keys already.
“Can you please come and get me?” you whispered, softer this time. Less demand, more desperation.
“I’m coming,” he said firmly. “Where are you right now?” he then asked.
You shared your live location with him and he muttered a hum before ending the call. And for the first time that night, you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding.
You knew he didn’t want to come out, and on normal days you wouldn’t have bothered him. But right now, there was no one else in the world you needed more than your brother.
Growing up, you and Joshua had always been close. Closer than most siblings, even. Even as kids, you stuck to each other like glue. While other siblings grew apart or bickered over everything all the time, the two of you built your own little world. He was your best friend, and above all, he was your safe place.
Joshua always knew how sensitive you were. He knew despite how tolerant you were, you’d easily get hurt and how deeply you felt things. And while some people might have dismissed that as weakness, he never did. If anything, it made him more protective of you. He knew the world wasn’t kind to people with soft hearts. So he became your shield.
He became some sort of your silent, stubborn bodyguard who would take on the world if it meant keeping you from crying.
You used to tease him about it. Told him he was too overbearing, that he needed to chill out and stop treating you like you were five. He’d just smirk and say, “You’ll thank me one day.” And truthfully, you always did.
Even when he annoyed you, when he pushed your buttons just for fun or gave you dumb nicknames you swore you hated, you never once doubted that he’d be there when it mattered. No matter how big or small the problem was, you could always run to him. He never made you feel like a burden.
And in this moment, with your heart aching and your hands full of tangerines, you were more grateful than ever to have a brother like him in your life.
╴╴╴╴╴
You hadn’t even realised Joshua had arrived until he was suddenly in front of you, gently shaking your shoulder. Not only had the cold numbed your senses, but your mind was too fogged to register anything clearly. You jolted slightly at the contact, eyes wide with confusion until they finally focused and landed on your brother.
“Hi,” he said softly, a little breathless. But the small smile he attempted didn’t last as his face fell. He took in the sight of you and his brows knitted together.
Your eyes were red-rimmed and glossy, cheeks streaked with dried tears, but what stood out the most too him was the lack of spark that usually lived in your eyes. They were simply hollow.
Joshua’s chest tightened as panic crept in. Your breathing was shallow and too quick. Your eyes were wide and glassy, brimming with fresh tears that threatened to spill over.
You looked like a balloon stretched too tight and ready to burst.
“Bubba, what’s wrong?” he asked as his hands moved up to cradle your face gently. His thumbs hovered under your eyes like he could stop the tears before they fell, but it was already too late.
Just the sound of that nickname that only he called you hit you like a wrecking ball. And it was just enough to break you completely.
A choked sob tore from your throat as you collapsed into his chest. His arms were open before you even reached him, wrapping around you and catching everything you couldn’t hold together anymore.
Joshua’s heart pounded hard beneath your cheek as he pulled you close, his hand rubbing circles on your back. You gripped his hoodie like your life depended on it as tears soaked into the fabric almost instantly.
“Hey, hey hey,” he murmured, rocking you gently.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you, okay?”
But your cries only grew louder and heavier.
“Is this about Hansol?” he asked. Though his voice was still soft, the way his jaw was tightening ever so slightly spoke another story.
You didn’t answer him. You just cried harder as your sobs violently shook your whole body.
“I just want to go home,” you choked out between sobs.
Joshua pulled you into a tighter hug and held you like he could somehow absorb the pain radiating from your body. He rested his chin lightly on top of your head and gently rocked you side to side.
“Shh, it’s okay. We’re going home now,” he murmured into your hair low and soothingly, almost fatherly. His hand rubbed slow circles on your back, like he used to do when you were a kid waking up from the nightmares you had.
Though he didn’t need the full story, at least not yet, he knew enough.
The past few days didn’t feel right. You hadn’t been yourself. You smiled less and conversations were shorter. Joshua noticed how you started spacing out more often, zoning out during family dinners or giving half-hearted responses when he cracked jokes.
You were still there, but the dimmed version of yourself, like a light on low battery.
He had a gut feeling Hansol had something to do with it, but he didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Now, standing here with you crying your eyes out in his arms, he wished he had trusted that instinct sooner.
He felt guilty. He wished he had asked more questions, pressed you harder when you told him everything was “fine.” He should’ve protected you before you reached this point. Because seeing you like this right now lit something violent inside him.
╴╴╴╴╴
When Joshua finally pulled into the driveway, the sky had long since darkened. He looked to his right and found you fast asleep in the passenger seat with your head tilted awkwardly against the window. The position looked anything but comfortable, yet you didn’t stir.
Joshua’s heart ached as he took in the dried streaks of tears on your cheeks, clear that you cried yourself to sleep in silence.
He didn’t miss the way you’d shut down during the drive home and how you gave no responses, not even small nods or mumbled agreements. He tried to talk, or at least distract you with light conversation with jokes that usually earned at least a small smile. But you gave him nothing this time.
He knew you didn’t mean it. You just wanted to be left alone, and so he did. But not really, because he was still there, watching every tremble in your breath and every clench of your fingers. He was still there as he silently stayed present even when you needed distance.
With a soft sigh, Joshua parked the car and turned off the engine. The sudden quiet that followed was too loud. He sat there for a moment, just looking at you. Then, without a word, he unbuckled his seatbelt before stepping out and walking around to your side.
He opened the door and carefully unbuckled your seatbelt before sliding his arms under your knees and back. Unironically, he felt like his seven-year-old self again holding you in his arms for the first time when you were born. He lifted you and held you gently as if you were made of glass. Your body relaxed into his hold, head resting against his shoulder.
He shut the car door with a soft kick before heading to the house. And as if timed perfectly, the front door opened.
Your mother stood there with her expression instantly shifting to concern at the sight of you in Joshua’s arms. “Is she okay?” she asked, eyes locked on your sleeping face.
Joshua let out another sigh. “I don’t think so. She had a long night” he answered tiredly.
He didn’t elaborate. He didn’t want to dump everything on her, especially when you weren’t awake to speak for yourself. All she needed to know was that you were safe, and he had you.
“I’m just going to let her rest for now,” he added, stepping past her and making his way upstairs.
He brought you into your room and gently lowered you onto the bed, careful not to jostle you. But barely moved regardless. He took off your shoes, then your coat which he folded neatly to the side.
He crouched down beside the bed and reached out, brushing your hair from your face. His thumb lingered at your temple for a moment. Then, with a tenderness that said more than words ever could, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on your forehead.
As he straightened up, he looked at you for a long moment. You looked peaceful, but the mark that was left by the pain you carried was still there.
“If Hansol did something,” he thought, jaw tightening, “I swear I’m going to rip his head off” he silently promised.
After making sure you were tucked in comfortably, Joshua gently pulled your blanket up to your shoulders. He stood there for a second longer, just watching you sleep.
With a quiet exhale, he turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with care. As it clicked softly, he sighed, again.
Heading back downstairs, he slipped his shoes back on and stripped outside again. The cold outside nipped at his skin, but he ignored it as he made his way back to the car. He opened the door and grabbed your small shoulder bag, along with the now slightly squashed plastic bag filled with tangerines you got for your mother.
There were a series of vibrations coming from your bag that made Joshua freeze, then frown. One vibration. Then another. And another. The sharp buzzing continued almost nonstop.
He unzipped the bag and pulled the phone out. Joshua cursed under his breath for remembering your phone’s password to unlock it, but he promised himself it wasn’t snooping. He had to make sure nothing was wrong.
The screen lit up with message after message from one name only.
Hansol.
His frown deepened. There were fifteen missed calls and tons of messages, some that were still coming through as he watched.
[Hansol]:
Baby!
[Hansol]:
Please answer me
[Hansol]:
Fuck, I’m so sorry I completely forgot. I know how bad that sounds, but please let me explain
[Hansol]:
Hailey sprained her ankle at work. She called me crying, saying she couldn’t walk or get a ride, and she didn’t know who else to call. So I left to go get her
[Hansol]:
She was in a lot of pain, and I couldn’t just leave her there so I took her to the doctors. I had to get her meds and ice packs and whatnot before helping her get back to her apartment
[Hansol]:
I know I should’ve messaged you. I should’ve called you right away. I just got caught up making sure she was okay and I didn’t check the time until it was already too late
[Hansol]:
Baby, I know what this looks like. I know how it feels. And I know I’ve let you down before, but I didn’t do this on purpose. I didn’t forget about you because I didn’t care. I was just trying to help my best friend in pain
[Hansol]:
But I swear to you, I wasn’t ignoring you
[Hansol]:
I know I told you this time would be different. That I would make more time for. And I wanted to, I swear I did
Joshua saw another incoming call flash across the screen with Hansol’s name lighting up yet again. He stared at it for a moment with his jaw clenched as his thumb hovering over the answer button. He really fought to answer it and curse him out, but he didn’t want to act out of instinct. So, instead, he pressed decline.
But that only led to more messages to flood in. One after another. Clearly Hansol wasn’t letting up. He was frantic at this point.
[Hansol]:
Shit, baby, listen. I know you saw Hailey’s Instagram story, but I promise it’s not what you think
[Hansol]:
It’s nothing like what you’re probably imagining right now. Please don’t overthink it
[Hansol]:
I swear
Joshua’s frown deepened. A low breath escaped his nose. What the hell is he talking about now? He hadn’t seen any story. But the way Hansol rushed to mention it, defend it even, somehow made him rile up even more.
Curious, and now increasingly irritated, Joshua unlocked your phone again and opened your Instagram. And a few taps later, he clicked on Hailey’s story.
Joshua stared at the screen as he tried to process what he was seeing. His lips curled into a slow, humorless scoff. He shook his head in absolute disbelief.
The audacity.
You were sitting in a restaurant, alone, trying not to cry in front of strangers. Meanwhile, your boyfriend was passed out at another woman’s place like he couldn’t be bothered to show up for you.
Before he could even react further, more messages came in.
[Hansol]:
I don’t know when I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to forget, I swear
[Hansol]:
Are you still at the restaurant? Just tell me and I’ll come right now. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Five if I speed. Please
[Hansol]:
Or if you already went home, just text me so I know you’re safe. I’m begging you baby
[Hansol]:
I’m so fucking sorry
[Hansol]:
Please pick up the phone baby. Just talk to me
Joshua watched as the screen lit up again with another incoming call. But he didn’t answer. He just stared at it with a dark expression. His thumb hovered for half a second before he declined it once more, and put the phone back in your bag.
The sheer nerve. The desperation wasn’t what got to him, it was the timing. The panic only came after the damage was done. After you’d already shut down. After your brother had to come find you and carry you home.
Joshua slammed his car door shut and made his way back inside the house. With his jaw locked so tight, he could feel his pulse thumping in his neck.
Joshua knew, deep down, that this was a personal matter between you and your boyfriend. Something that should be handled between the two of you. He didn’t want to cross boundaries or get too involved in something he didn’t fully understand. That simply wasn’t his style, and he certainly wasn’t overbearing. He respected your independence.
But after today, especially after the way you completely broke down in his arms, Joshua couldn’t keep pretending like everything was fine when it wasn’t.
It was damn near impossible to hold himself back. He didn’t want to sit on the sidelines anymore. He needed answers. He needed to know what the hell was happening to you and why the sister he knew was suddenly closing herself up.
╴╴╴╴╴
The moment Hansol blinked awake from what he thought would be a ‘short nap’, his eyes drifted lazily to the clock. Until the time hit him like a punch to the chest. His eyes widened in shock, practically bulging from their sockets as the time sank in.
It was the realisation that it was two hours past the time he was supposed to meet you which made his heart stop.
His body reacted before his brain could even catch up. He bolted upright so fast that the plushie in his arms fell to the floor. His mind scrambled in complete chaos as he reached for his phone, which he nearly dropped in his haste.
The screen lit up with five unread messages and two missed calls, all from you, two hours ago.
“Fuck,” he cursed, as guilt hit him like a truck.
He remembered. Of course he did. He remembered every word of the argument, the conversation afterwards where he promised he wouldn’t mess this one up this time.
But somehow he had.
And now he didn’t know how to fix it this time.
▎25 NOVEMBER 2021 — two days ago
“What could have been so important this time that you had to cancel on me again, Hansol?” you snapped.
You weren’t usually the one to raise your voice or start fights. You were patient and understanding. Maybe a little too understanding.
This was the fifth broken promise in two weeks. The times you got ready for something he planned, you’d sit and wait until your phone lit up with another last-minute excuse.
And this time, you were done pretending it didn’t rile you up.
Hansol blinked, already on the defensive. “Babe, you know I’m not doing this on purpose. It’s just that Hailey—”
You cut him off instantly with a scoff, head shaking like you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. But deep down, you did. You expected it. Of course it was Hailey.
“Hailey this, Hailey that,” you snarled as your eyes narrowed. “It’s always her.”
Hansol flinched a little at your tone, but you kept going. The anger that had been simmering under the surface was breaking through.
“When does she ever not need you? It’s comical how she always seems to need something when you’re with me. Does she not have any other fucking friends besides you? Huh?”
You took a breath, but it didn’t cool the fire.
“Why do you always jump to her side over every little thing? Is she really that helpless? Is she that dumb and incapable of doing anything on her own, Hansol?”
You couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. This wasn’t you, because you weren’t the type to talk about people like that.
You didn’t even realise how harsh the words were until they already came out. They sounded bitter and personal. And maybe they were. Because you weren’t just angry at Hailey. You were angry at your own boyfriend for putting her before you. Again.
Hansol didn’t respond right away, but when he did, his voice was just as sharp as yours.
“She’s my best friend, Y/n,” he snapped back. “I’ve known her for years. Of course I’m going to be there for her if she needs me.”
“I know that!” you couldn’t help but raise your voice as the frustration boiled over.
“And I’ve always respected the fact that you guys are close. I know you’ve known her longer than me. I know she’s important to you.”
Hansol opened his mouth to speak, but you kept going.
“And trust me, the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do is come between you and your friendship with her” you said.
“But what about me?” The question itself was small, but held so much weight.
“What about me, Hansol?” you repeated, quieter this time as your voice trembled. The sting behind your eyes was impossible to ignore now as tears threatened to fall.
You hated arguing with him, but it had been weeks since you were being sidelined or brushed off. All over someone who you could guarantee could take care of herself without needing your boyfriend all the time.
“What if I need you just as much as she does?” you asked, your voice cracking as the tears finally escaped.
“Why is it that her needs always come before mine? Why can’t you choose me just once instead of her?”
Hansol stood there, frozen. He looked at you with a mix of confusion and worry, but he didn’t speak. His silence only hurt more.
You took a shaky breath and tried to compose yourself even as everything inside you wanted to scream. He looked at you like he didn’t understand, and that made your heart sink.
“Y/n…” he finally said, hesitantly stepping towards you.
“Where is this coming from?” he asked with a calm but cautious tone, like he was trying not to set you off further.
You broke eye contact and looked down. You didn’t even know where to begin. How do you explain the slow burn of feeling like a second choice? How do you measure all the little moments where you smiled and swallowed your disappointment just to keep the peace?
“I just…” you trailed off.
“I just want to feel like I matter to you the way she does.”
“But you do matter to me baby” he tried to assure you.
You looked back up at him, with a mocking smile. The ache in your chest was too big to hide.
“I know I do. But I’m getting tired Hansol” you whispered. “I’m tired of being treated like I’m always second place.”
“Call me jealous. Call me insecure. I don’t care anymore,” you continued, blinking back the rest of your tears.
“But I’m your girlfriend for god’s sake. I should feel like your girlfriend” your voice broke completely then.
“I get that she’s your best friend. I get it. And I get that you care about her. But there’s a line, Hansol. There has to be a line, right?”
You then let out a shaky breath.
“And when I have to fight for your attention, when I have to constantly wonder if I’m even a priority to you, that’s not a relationship. That’s loneliness with a title.”
Hansol’s heart dropped. It was like the floor beneath him gave way and he was free-falling. Your words replayed in his head on a loop, and the more they sank in, the heavier the guilt became.
He realised that he didn’t just hurt you by accident, he neglected you without even thinking. And that realisation alone made his stomach turn.
He couldn’t believe this was all brewing inside you. That you felt so alone and pushed aside for so long. And he didn’t notice. Or worse, he already noticed little things but brushed them off thinking you’d be fine.
He thought your love was unshakable enough to withstand being constantly sidelined. But how stupidly and utterly wrong he was.
He exhaled a shaky breath, his chest rising and falling too fast as he took a step forward and gently took your hands in his. Your fingers were cold and shaking slightly in his grasp.
He hated that. He hated that he made you feel this way.
He pulled you closer until your chest rested lightly against his. You didn’t resist, but you didn’t lean in either. You just stood there quietly sniffling while your eyes cast to the floor.
His hands moved slowly, almost hesitantly, up to cup your face. His thumbs brushed along your cheeks, catching the fresh tears rolling down your skin. Your lips were quivering and your jaw was tight, like you were still trying to hold back everything that wanted to break free.
“Baby,” he whispered, voice cracking. “Please look at me.”
You sniffled again, and your eyes flickered up to meet his.
“I didn’t know,” he said softly, barely above a whisper.
“I didn’t know you felt this way. And I hate that I had to hear it like this, for it to reach this point and for me to finally listen.”
He paused and drew in a breath to steady himself, but it didn’t help. “I thought I was being good to you. I thought you knew how much I loved you. But love isn’t just words, is it? It’s what I do. And I haven’t been showing it. Not in the way you deserve.”
You closed your eyes, biting down hard on your lip.
“I kept running to Hailey because I told myself she needed help. Because I thought you’d understand. And every time I did, I told myself you were okay and that you’d wait. That you knew how important you were to me. But I wasn’t showing you. I was showing you the opposite.”
His voice wavered. “I made you feel second. And that’s the last thing you ever should’ve felt.”
You opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. Your throat felt constricted.
“I’m so sorry baby” Hansol whispered as his forehead lowered until it touched yours.
“I’m sorry I made you feel small. I’m sorry I made you feel like your feelings didn’t matter. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t my priority. Because trust me baby, you are. You always have been, and I was just too blind to prove it.”
A tear rolled down his cheek now, but he didn’t care.
“I’ll do better, I promise” he said, and pulled you just a little closer.
“I love you.”
Hansol stared at his phone and the endless row of his unanswered messages and ignored calls. He stared down at it like it might suddenly light up with your name. The dozen attempts to reach out to you were simply left up in the air.
There was not a single read receipt. Not even the little “typing…” bubble that always gave him a sliver of hope when you both argued in the past.
And that was what scared him the most.
He ran a hand through his hair, tugging it back in frustration before gripping the back of his neck. His skin was clammy and his heartbeat was a deafening thud in his ears. The anxiety gripping his chest was unlike anything he ever felt before. It wasn’t stress. It wasn’t him being overdramatic.
This was fear. Total, haunting fear.
Because this wasn’t like you. You weren’t the type to shut him out. Sure, you’d argue and get upset. But you were never the type to just disappear into silence without at least letting him know you needed time.
You’d always give him some sort of a signal or reassurance that as angry or hurt as you might be, you hadn't walked away completely.
But this time, there was nothing. Not a single word.
And this complete void scared the hell out of him.
What if something had happened? What if you were too hurt to want anything to do with him anymore?
He couldn’t sit still as these thoughts ran wild in his head.
Hansol shot up from the couch and grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair with more force than necessary. His movements were quick and clumsy as he tried to hurry. He barely even noticed Hailey watching him from the living room with confusion written all over her face.
She furrowed her brows. “Hansol? Where are you going? Why are you so— what’s going on?”
“I don’t have time to explain. I have to go,” he said firmly, not even sparing her a glance as he shoved his feet into his shoes.
“Is this about—” she started again, but he cut her off.
“Just— take care, okay?” he said over his shoulder while already halfway to the front door.
He grabbed his car keys off the counter and flung the door open before dashing out.
He didn’t mean to be cold or dismissive, really, but at that moment, there was only one thing, one person, on his mind.
You.
Everything else blurred into background noise. Because if there was even the slightest chance that you were hurting alone, especially because of him, he wasn’t going to waste another second standing still.
He just hoped he wasn’t already too late.
╴╴╴╴╴
Hansol didn’t know if he parked the car straight, if it was even on the driveway, or if he left the engine running. He didn’t care. None of it mattered compared to the mess in his head. What mattered was finding you and fixing things somehow.
He already knew you wouldn’t be at your shared apartment. That would’ve been too easy, because you never stayed there when you were upset, especially not after a blow-up. He knew your patterns too well, when things went south, you always ran to your brother. Joshua was your safe place. Hansol had banked on that instinct.
He slammed the car door shut hard enough to rattle the windows and jogged across the dark, quiet street to your house. All the lights were off, but it didn’t stop him. His fingers hovered over his phone, itching to text you again, but instead, he rang the doorbell.
Once. Nothing.
Twice. Still nothing.
On the third ring, a hallway light turned on. Hansol felt his stomach tighten. The front door swung open with force, revealing Joshua, shirt rumpled, hair a mess and eyes blazing with fury.
“What the fuck do you want Hansol?” he growled. Hansol’s mouth went dry, and swallowed the thick lump in his throat.
“Is Y/n here? I need to see her,” he said quickly, his voice cracking at the end.
Joshua’s expression didn’t change. If anything, it grew colder. His body stiffened like he was preparing for a fight, but instead of throwing a punch out of instinct, he let out a humorless laugh.
“If she is, what makes you think I’ll let you meet her?” he said, every word laced with venom.
Hansol opened his mouth but nothing came out. If Joshua knew even half of what happened, he was screwed. Completely screwed. Seeing you would be next to impossible with your brother standing in the way like a wall of fire.
“Go home Hansol,” Joshua snapped, stepping forward.
“Before I break your fucking nose. After the shit you pulled? You think I’ll let you anywhere near my sister? You’re not even gonna breathe in her direction.”
Hansol stood frozen. His heart was thundering, while guilt ate him alive. He had no plan nor backup. Only one truth, that he needed to see you. But Joshua already made it clear.
He wasn’t getting through that door.
At this point, all Hansol could do was beg. He looked like a mess with his hair disheveled, eyes red and guilt sitting heavy in his chest like bricks. He dropped his head, fists clenched at his sides and jaw tight with frustration. Whatever pride he had shattered the moment he saw Joshua’s face.
He wasn’t here to win a fight, he was here to fight for you.
“I didn’t do it on purpose, okay?” he said almost urgently, finally lifting his eyes to meet Joshua’s glare.
“I’m already beating myself up over this. I know I couldn’t keep my promise to her, and yeah, that wrecks me. But I didn’t flake on her just to hurt her. I was helping my friend out. And I…I lost track of the time. That’s it,” Hansol explained while his voice cracked slightly.
He then paused with his chest heaving.
He took a shaky breath and added, “you know how much I love her—”
Joshua didn’t let him finish. “Yeah, clearly,” he snapped, voice dripping with sarcasm.
The words stung more than they should have, but Hansol bit down his anger and cursed under his breath. Getting defensive wouldn’t help now. Not when he was already on thin ice.
“I just…I just want her to know I didn’t mean to keep her waiting,” he said, his voice growing smaller with every word.
“I want to apologise. She deserves that. She deserves the truth, not this tension and silence between us. I hate that I hurt her, even by accident.”
He looked at Joshua again, but this time there was no fire in his eyes. Just defeat.
“I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing she probably hates me. I need to explain, even if she doesn’t forgive me,” he whispered. “I need to talk to her. I need her to know she still means everything to me.”
His voice cracked as he finished, barely able to breathe through the tight knot in his throat. “I don’t want to lose her, Joshua. Please. I don’t want to lose her.”
Joshua stood in silence. His anger wasn’t completely gone, but it was slowly simmering down into something else. He stared at Hansol, who looked like he was unraveling at the seams.
Joshua hated how familiar it felt. He hated that he could see the sincerity in Hansol’s misery. The guy looked wrecked. And as much as Joshua wanted to keep holding on to the fury, to slam the door in his face and make him pay, something in him hesitated. Because it was clear now, Hansol wasn’t here to make excuses. He was here to bleed if that’s what it took to make things right.
Joshua let out a long breath. His hand gripped the edge of the door tighter as he stared at the ground. And when he finally looked up again, his eyes met Hansol’s, and for a moment neither of them spoke.
Then Joshua huffed, eyes narrowing. “She’s sleeping right now, come back tomorrow” he said firmly.
Hansol opened his mouth, but Joshua held up his hand. “Don’t push it,” he warned.
He took a step back to leave just enough space to breathe. The tension didn’t disappear, just changed shape.
“But I’m telling you this now. I can’t promise anything, Hansol,” Joshua said. “You showing up, saying sorry, hoping to fix things, that’s not up to me. Whatever happens next, it’s Y/n’s call. Hundred percent. If she tells me she never wants to see you again, then that’s it. You’ll have to live with that.”
He paused as his voice dropped lower.
“And I’ll stand by her no matter what she decides. Because she has every right to be upset. Every right to not forgive you. You hurt her.”
Joshua took one last glance at Hansol, at the guilt and desperation, before gently closing the door between them.
▎28 NOVEMBER 2021
It was nine in the morning, and Hansol barely managed three hours of restless and broken sleep. The rest of the night was a torture as he tossed and turned in his bed that he normally shared with you, mind plagued with guilt.
He tried to come up with something, anything, that might fix the damage he caused. But every option felt futile. He knew words alone weren’t going to cut it this time. There was no perfect apology, and no grand gesture could undo what he did.
Hansol knew he fucked up badly, and there was no right way to fix things other than to fall at your feet and cry for forgiveness. Because losing you would be the end of his world, and didn’t want that.
Reaching over to check his phone again, Hansol stared at the screen for the millionth time, hoping that somehow this time he’d see a new notification, or at least a sign that you read his messages.
But every single text he sent sat unopened.
He let out a sharp breath and tossed the phone onto the mattress beside him, before burying his face in his hands. His palms dragged down over his face, then up into his hair, gripping the roots in frustration. His jaw clenched as he cursed under his breath. He didn’t know what to do. He never felt this lost before.
Suddenly, his phone lit up and began ringing. His heart leapt into his throat as he scrambled to get it thinking you had finally responded.
But to his disappointment, the screen read Hailey’s name instead. And he deflated instantly.
Nevertheless, he swiped to answer as he exhaled a long sigh while dragging a tired hand across his face.
“Hey,” he croaked out, voice rough from the lack of sleep. He pressed two fingers to his temple as he tried to ease the tension building in his skull.
“Hey, are you okay? You didn’t seem alright last night when you left,” Hailey’s worried voice came through the line.
Even though Hailey had been his best friend for years, Hansol wasn’t in the right headspace to talk to her about his relationship issues. Not when his thoughts were consumed by you. Maybe he was embarrassed to tell her that he messed up again. Maybe he didn’t want to tell her that she was part of the reason why this was happening. Or maybe he just didn’t want her to know every detail of his relationship with you.
He knew she meant well, and that she was only calling because she cared. But her voice, her questions, even her concern, it all just felt like noise to him. All he could focus on was the silence from your end. It was too loud. And the longer the silence stretched, the more it chipped away at him.
All Hansol needed was a sign from you. Even a simple “okay” would’ve been enough to give some sort of relief.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Something urgent came up. Sorry I left you like that,” Hansol apologised as he rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t mean to be so abrupt last night, but his heart was pounding too hard, and his thoughts were spiraling too fast to explain anything clearly.
“Is your ankle okay now?” he asked.
“It’s swollen and bruised pretty badly now compared to yesterday. But I’ve been keeping it elevated and putting on an ice pack,” Hailey replied with a subtle tinge of frustration in her voice.
“I see,” he mumbled. His mind was clearly elsewhere with the way his tone sounded so distant. There was a beat of silence before Hailey hummed in response, perhaps she sensed that his attention wasn’t fully with her.
“You think you can come over later on or when you’re free? I still need a bit of help getting around. Plus I’m really bored,” she added.
Hansol paused. Any other time, he might’ve said yes without hesitation. But not right now. He just wasn’t in the mood to meet anyone besides you. “I can’t today Hailey,” he told her, which caught her a little off guard.
“Oh. Do you have plans with Y/n or something?” she asked, sounding curious, but not surprised.
Hansol hesitated.
How could he explain that it wasn’t exactly “plans” he had with you, but rather a desperate and half-formed mission to salvage what was left of your relationship? That he was losing sleep trying to figure out how to fix what he broke? That your silence was driving him insane?
“Well…kind of,” he finally said.
There was another pause. Hailey didn’t press any further because maybe she sensed the shift in his tone, or maybe she understood more than he realised.
“I’m sorry,” Hansol muttered quietly, almost ashamed to say it out loud.
He swallowed hard before continuing. “Your parents are in town, right? I’m sure they can help out if you really need them. I just…” he trailed off.
He clenched his eyes shut as he inhaled deeply. “I messed up really badly, Hailey. And I’m trying to fix it.”
Hansol didn’t offer more. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to lie, but he also didn’t have the strength to dig through the mess he made just to explain it all over again. This was all he could manage, and he hoped it would be enough.
Hailey, thankfully, seemed to understand. “It’s okay,” she said, not pressing further. “I hope it works out.”
“I hope so too” he whispered to himself.
They both exchanged brief goodbyes, and Hansol ended the call before letting out a shaky breath. He tossed the phone onto the bed and sat there in silence.
His eyes lifted towards the mirror across the room, and grimaced at the sight of himself. His hair was disheveled, eyes were sunken from the lack of sleep, and he was still in the same wrinkled clothes from yesterday. He looked as wrecked as he felt.
A bitter laugh escaped him.
And no matter how pathetic he looked, he was going to make it right.
Somehow.
▎2 DECEMBER 2021
The first day or two without hearing from you, Hansol tried to stay calm. He told himself you just needed space and time to breathe. And he wanted to respect that, he truly did, but silence didn’t mean his heart wasn’t screaming in regret. It didn’t mean he wasn’t fighting the urge to show up at your door and fall to his knees.
So, instead, he did what he could from the distance. He texted. He called. Even knowing full well you were likely with your family, he still desperately hoped that you would answer.
But every time he tried to call, his calls would go straight to voicemail. Every time he texted, his messages remained unread. It was killing him. Every time his phone buzzed from notifications that weren't from you, it added another brick to the weight on his chest.
Still, Hansol held onto hope that you were seeing them. Maybe you were reading them from your notification center. Unless, of course, you had muted him. And the thought itself made him nauseous.
By the third day, he was falling apart.
The apartment was a mess. Takeaway boxes were littered on the counter, his clothes were still in a heap from three nights ago, and the lights stayed dim because he couldn’t find the energy to turn them on. He hadn’t left the apartment since. He barely ate and barely slept. His eyes were puffy from crying. It was something he hadn’t done in years, but now did in quiet gasps as he stared blankly at his phone screen, waiting and hoping.
Joshua wasn’t being much of a good help either. He couldn’t even offer him a sliver of peace. Every time Hansol asked about you, whether it was how you were doing or even something as simple as “Did she eat today?”, Joshua would deflect.
“She’s fine.” “She’s resting.” “I don’t know, man.” Every vague excuse was like a slap in the face. Hansol knew Joshua was doing it on purpose and that he was trying to shield you from more hurt. And to be fair, part of him didn’t blame him. But it didn’t make it any less painful.
The longer he went without hearing your voice, seeing your face, or knowing whether or not you were okay, the more it drove him toward the edge. His sanity felt like it was hanging by a single fraying thread. And that thread was you.
He couldn’t keep doing this. Not another day. Not another hour. He was going to see you one way or another.
He didn’t care if he had to wait outside your house for hours, in the rain or during the night. He didn’t care if your brother tried to shut the door in his face or if you refused to say a word. He just needed to see you. He needed to know you were still there and that you hadn’t walked away from him forever.
Because if you had, he didn’t know what he’d do.
All Hansol knew was that he wasn’t going to spend another night pacing around his apartment like a ghost and haunted by what-ifs and regrets. He was going to find you, and he wasn’t leaving until he did.
╴╴╴╴╴
“Y/n, you can’t keep silent and lock yourself away like this forever. It’s getting ridiculous now,” Joshua said with a firm voice as he stormed into your bedroom without knocking. His frustration was evident in the way his footsteps seemed heavy.
“Get your ass up and talk it out with him. I’m getting tired of all this.”
You flinched under the blanket at his tone, not because it was harsh, but because it awakened the very thing you were trying to avoid, and that was facing Hansol. Joshua stood at the foot of your bed with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He wasn’t angry at you, he was exhausted from watching his baby sister spiral day after day.
Joshua wasn’t just irritated. He was heartbroken for you. For Hansol, too, though he never said it aloud. He was pissed at Hansol for making you cry, rightfully, but the truth was, the silence stretched on too long. You and Hansol were both barely functioning, and Joshua had enough.
He saw how Hansol had been trying, really trying. He could see the effort he was putting to get a hold of you though he physically kept his distance to give you space. And every time Joshua gave him a vague answer, he could somehow sense Hansol’s anguish from the other. It was almost too much to bear.
Joshua let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.
“I get that you’re hurt. But you can’t stay like this, Y/n. This zombie version of you? It’s not you. And it’s not helping at all, and you know it” he said.
“I’m not ready to,” you whispered, voice muffled as you tugged your blanket up to your eyes.
Joshua had no patience left for that. He strode over and yanked the blanket clean off you, forcing you to curl up tighter into yourself. You didn’t look at him, you couldn’t. The tears were already pricking the corners of your eyes.
“Then when?” he asked with a voice much sharper this time. “Seriously, when? Next week? Next month? Never?”
You stayed quiet.
His voice softened, but his next words hit you harder. “You know, if you’re this affected by what happened that night, why don’t you just spare yourself and break up with him?”
Your breath hitched as you shot your head up, shocked. The suggestion felt like a smack in the face. “What?”
“I’m serious,” Joshua continued.
“You love him, right? But this silence and shutting down, it’s hurting both of you. You’re not healing. You’re just avoiding it which doesn’t help with anything.”
You stared at him as pain swirled in your chest. “It’s not that simple,” you looked away from him.
“I know,” he said much gentler now. “But neither is loving someone. Neither is fighting for a relationship that clearly means everything to you.”
He sat down on the edge of your bed and looked at you with soft eyes. “I’m not saying forgive him right now, nor to forget what happened. But you need to face it. Talk to him. Scream at him if you need to. Just stop letting this eat you alive.”
Silence settled between you both for a long moment. You inhaled shakily, finally allowing your tears to trail silently down your cheeks.
“I don’t know what to say to him,” you admitted.
“Then start with that,” Joshua said simply. “Start with ‘I don’t know what to say.’ That’s something.”
And maybe it was.
Just then, a series of loud, abrupt knocks pounded against the front door, sharp and jarring enough to make you flinch. You shot up from your bed as your heart began to race, eyes wide as they darted toward your bedroom door. Nobody ever knocked like that, not even your angry mother when you wouldn’t open the door while having your headphones in. Given the door bell, people would’ve pressed it.
But this sounded urgent and desperate. And there was only one person you could think of who’d knock like that.
The thought of alone made your pulse quicken. Your stomach twisted as conflicting emotions battled inside you. No matter how hurt and furious you were, your heart still ached for him. Even now, after everything, it still yearned to hear his voice.
“I’ll see who that is,” Joshua said. You barely nodded as he was already moving toward the hallway.
Joshua hadn’t even fully opened the door when Hansol barged past him without a word. The younger’s breathing was heavy. His eyes were red and swollen, the bags under them were visibly dark with exhaustion. His lips were chapped, and he looked like he didn’t sleep in days. Because he didn’t.
Joshua blinked. He was stunned for half a second, before he sighed and stepped aside. He didn’t ask questions, nor did he try to stop him. It wasn’t his place anymore. He already tried everything, from comforting you to yelling at you. Even playing messenger between two people who were clearly miserable without each other. But this was out of his hands now.
With a quiet grunt, Joshua shut the door and walked away, heading to the living room and flipping on the television. He didn’t even check what channel was playing. He just needed the noise as a distraction.
This was something the two of you needed to deal with alone like grown adults. Face to face with no interruptions, and no more hiding.
And so, Joshua left the hallway silent behind him, leaving Hansol standing just a few steps away from your door with heart in his throat.
When he finally reached your bedroom, the door was wide open, thanks to Joshua who didn’t even bother closing it behind him. But either way, it left nothing between you and the person you’d been avoiding for days.
When he was suddenly in front of you, you froze completely. Your heart slammed hard against your ribs as your eyes landed on him. You didn’t know what to expect when this moment came, but it sure wasn’t this.
He stood there, his breathing ragged, fists clenched by his side and jaw locked in a way that made the muscles ripple beneath his skin. His shoulders were stiff, like he was struggling holding himself together.
Hansol looked absolutely beaten. His clothes were the same ones from that night, wrinkled and worn. His lips were trembling despite how hard he was trying to stay strong.
And you? You could barely breathe.
Seeing him like that shattered something in you. Because this wasn’t the Hansol you knew. The Hansol you knew never shattered, he was the anchor when storms hit. But now, he looked like he was barely hanging on. He looked like he was seconds away from falling apart.
Your throat constricted as the tears welling up in your eyes blurred your vision. You wanted to say something, but your lips parted and nothing came out.
“Hansol” you finally whispered as you slowly rose to your feet.
But you didn’t get to say more. In an instant, Hansol leaped forward, catching you off guard. He cupped your face roughly and before you could process it, his lips crashed into yours.
The kiss was intense that left you breathless. It wasn’t soft like how he’d always kiss you, but rather blunt and frantic. It was like he had been drowning and you were the air he needed to breathe again. He kissed you like he was starving of your touch and love. It was messy and heated, but so full of love.
You stumbled backward, but his arm shot out and wrapped around your waist to steady you. He didn’t let go, not even for a second. You stood frozen for a moment, feeling overwhelmed.
And then, your eyes fluttered shut as you kissed him back. Hard.
Your hands grasped his shirt tightly. You could feel his tears trailing down his cheeks, mixing with your own. His soft whimper against your lips shattered your heart all over again. He was crying.
Choi Hansol was actually crying.
You never saw him like this, not once. And now that you did, you wished you never pushed him to the edge like this. But more than that, you hated that he was suffering alone without you hearing him out.
You felt the way he poured everything into that kiss. The fear, the guilt, the longing, the love. It was all there, right between the quivering of his lips and the way his body pressed desperately against yours.
Without a word, you reached up to cradle his face in your hands and brushed his tear-streaked cheeks with your thumbs. He broke the kiss for a split second, and rested his forehead against yours as he tried to catch his breath.
“I’m sorry,” Hansol whimpered.
“I’m so sorry baby” he kissed you again, but this time it was slower and more fragile. You felt the kiss grow more saltier the more tears streamed down his face, and your heart couldn’t take much more.
“I’m such a fucking idiot, I know,” he mumbled breathlessly against your lips.
“I don’t even know what the hell I was thinking all those times I left you hanging. I don’t know what was going through my head when I chose to be there for someone else, when you were the one who needed me the most.”
He let out a sob that vibrated against your chest as he buried his face against your shoulder. You didn’t speak. All you could do was hold him closer with your fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt as his guilt poured out of him.
Hansol pulled away slightly, just enough to cup your face again. His thumbs gently stroked the apples of your cheeks as his red and glossy eyes locked with yours.
“You’re right,” he said. “You’re my girlfriend, for fuck’s sake. And you should feel like you are. You shouldn’t ever have to fight for my attention, or feel like you’re competing with anyone else.”
You watched the torment ripple through his expression. Every word looked like it cost him to say, but he meant them all. He needed you to know he was owning it.
“You didn’t deserve to feel like you were second,” he continued with his shaky voice. “You didn’t deserve to sit there wondering why I couldn’t show up for you the way I always did for someone else. And I hate that I made you feel that way. I hate that I didn’t see it sooner.”
You slowly brought your hands to his face, brushing your thumbs over the trails of tears on his cheeks. He leaned into your touch like it was the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.
“I— I know I try to be a good friend to Hailey,” he admitted, “but I should’ve set boundaries. Because you were right. She does have other people around her, people she can turn to besides me. I just— I guess I kept telling myself I was helping, not realising how much I was hurting you in the process.”
He shook his head. “Maybe that’s a talk I need to have with her too.”
He took another breath, but it got caught in his throat. “I just—” he paused, swallowing hard.
“I’m so sorry I made you feel like this. Even though it was never my intention, I still made you feel like a second choice. And I fucking hate myself for it.”
He dropped his hands from your face, only to wrap them around yours, the ones still resting on his cheeks. He squeezed them tightly.
“You know I love you, right?” he whispered, his voice breaking again. “That I never, ever meant to hurt you? Not on purpose. I love you more than I know how to say. So please, please give me a chance to make it right. I can’t keep going through this silence. It’s killing me baby. I swear it’s fucking killing me.”
And this time, his knees buckled as he sank to the floor, pulling you down with him.
You felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and crushed right in front of you. The sight of Hansol sobbing this much into your embrace was something you never thought you would witness.
You instinctively held onto him tightly like a mother cradling a child through a nightmare as the two of you slowly sank to the floor. In all the years you had known Hansol, this raw display of vulnerability was something completely foreign to you. He was always the strong one, and the rock for everyone else. Especially for you.
So to see him fall apart like this scared you.
“H-Hey, shhh,” you whispered, gently rubbing his back in slow and soothing circles. You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, another, then another.
“It’s okay, I forgive you, honey. Please stop crying,” you murmured as you were desperate to calm him down.
You tried to gently pull back to coax him into lifting his head and looking at you, but he only buried himself deeper into your chest. He kept his face hidden like he was ashamed to even be seen by you.
“Can you look at me?” you whispered, your voice cracking. But Hansol shook his head against you.
“Hansol-ie, baby, please look at me,” you said again more tenderly as you pulled out the name only his mother and you ever called him so endearingly.
And that finally did it. His body shifted as he slowly pulled himself up. He looked at you, tiredly yet with so much love and intensity.
Without a word, your hands found their way to his face. You cupped his cheeks as you brushed your thumbs gently over the wet trails. He leaned into your palms, closing his eyes and letting out a long, shaky breath.
“I’m sorry too,” you said.
Hansol opened his eyes slowly, brows furrowing in confusion. “Why are you sorry?” he asked, reaching out to hold your hands in his.
You offered him a small, halfhearted smile. “I guess I was being childish with how I acted. I shut down instead of talking to you. I pushed you away instead of letting you in.”
Hansol immediately shook his head. “No. You had every right to be upset. I was the one who broke my promise,” he said firmly, his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand.
“It was all on me, not on you my love.”
He reached up to tuck a few stray strands of hair behind your ear. “Don’t blame yourself for reacting to the pain I caused.”
You swallowed hard, leaning into his touch. “But I should’ve at least told you I needed time. I shouldn’t have left you guessing like that.”
“Maybe,” he replied softly. “But I should’ve never put you in a position where you had to choose between silence or feeling like a second choice. You deserve so much better than that.”
Your eyes welled again, but this time from the overwhelming tenderness between you both.
But then you giggled softly. “I guess we’re both childish in our own ways,” you said, brushing a tear from your cheek with the back of your hand.
“Me, a stubborn and sensitive girl who shuts down instead of talking. And you, a loser, lovesick boy who’ll chase his girl no matter what.”
Hansol let out a soft laugh and he tilted his head. “And I love that beautiful, stubborn, and sensitive girl so much,” he whispered, “that I promised myself I’d chase her for her in every lifetime. No matter where, no matter when.”
Then, leaning in, he placed a gentle peck on your lips. Your smile paused, lips quivering as you tried to fight off another wave of tears. You stared into his eyes, “God, I really don’t deserve you” you whispered.
The words tumbled out of your mouth from the guilt and ache that still lingered in your chest. You pressed your lips against his again, hoping he could feel everything you didn’t know how to say.
But Hansol shook his head gently, pulling back just far enough to look you in the eyes. “No,” he said with conviction.
“It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”
He reached up to cradle your face in both hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that slipped free. “If it were anyone else, they would’ve kicked my ass to the curb already and never looked back. But you?” he paused, his voice cracking, “You still gave me a chance. Even after everything. And I swear, I’m never taking that for granted again.”
“I promise, and I truly mean it this time,” he whispered, resting his forehead against yours, “I will never make you feel like that again.”
You let out a shaky breath. You’d never been so vulnerable like this with each other. It was so messy and so emotional.
“I hate that we hurt each other,” you whispered.
“I do too,” he said. “But if we’re going to hurt, I’d rather hurt with you than be without you.”
You rested your forehead against his, eyes closed and hands tangled in the fabric of his shirt. “We’re such a mess, aren’t we?” you chuckled through your tears.
“Yeah,” Hansol breathed, “but we’re our mess.”
You smiled softly and slowly wrapped your arms around his neck. The moment your body met his, a deep sigh left your lips as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.
Your voice came out muffled, “I love you,” you whispered against his hot skin, your lips brushing his collarbone.
Hansol let out a shaky exhale. He immediately snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you closer. He closed his eyes as you breathed you in.
“I love you too baby. More than I can ever express,” he murmured into your ear, before tenderly kissing the top of your head.
“I’ll never hurt you again,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against yours. “God, I’d rather die before I ever do.”
“I don’t care what it takes. I’ll spend every day proving to you.”
a/n; it’s finally here!! please reblog if you like it🫶🏽
genre: non-idol au, mulan/military au, reader pretends to be a man to replace their father during conscription, depictions of physical violence (battles and death), sexualised language, smut in future parts but will be highlighted in chapter warnings, everyone is a little in love with reader regardless of presenting gender
summary: you joined the army as hyunjin to save your father and found a place that you never imagined for yourself. now, they know you’re a noble lady and you have to find a new peace amongst them, with a new title and some feelings that you aren’t fully prepared to confront.
a/n: my first SVT fic. it was supposed to be a short fic, just figuring out how to write for SVT before I started a collab fic (coming in september!) but instead, it's become this four part series. i hope you like it! please reblog and comment, and let me know if you want to be added to the fic taglist!
chapter 2
series masterlist / main masterlist
network: @andlinked
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The floor was hard when you were dropped on to it, your knees cracking at the landing. You tried to keep your back straight, to look visibly strong even if you didn’t feel it, but the impact sent a wave of discomfort ricocheting through your nerves and you wobbled.
Your bound hands reached out and kept you from dropping face first into the mat. You grit your teeth through any sounds of pain. The noises you make are just as much as victory for the enemy. Seungcheol - Captain Choi, you corrected yourself - had told you that.
The same man who was now staring down at you from the war table, expression blank, eyes dark and unreadable. It was strange to think that he was the enemy now, enjoying your pain in the way he’d warned you about. It hurt in that uncomfortable way when you knew you were the reason for a betrayal and just had to live with the guilt.
You couldn’t say you hadn’t intended to lie. You’d come here already rewriting the story of your life - your name, your history, your future. All reworked and conveyed to every person you met.
You broke their trust and, in the imperial army, trust was paramount.
Around the captain were his generals, the privates and petty officers that you had trained with, laughed with, fought with. They were a lot easier to read than their leader - eyebrows furrowed, watching you like a wild animal, lips pursed.
You could have laughed - it was like they’d never seen a woman before.
You felt more than watched Mingyu crouch at your side. His hands hovered but didn’t quite touch the bandage he’d wrapped around your chest. He murmured a curse to Jun and Vernon, the two who dragged you in. “If you ripped open her stitches, we’re going to have a problem.”
Jun averted his gaze, embarrassed, and Vernon’s jaw tightened.
“It’s fine,” you whispered and cursed yourself for how your voice trembled.
It was strange how in one moment, you were brave, strong and full of adrenaline. The you from before would never have jumped in front of an arrow, would never have been quick enough to get there anyway, but the way you were now, you think you’d do it again in a heartbeat. Without it, your Captain wouldn’t be looking down at you now and you couldn’t bear the thought.
Maybe it was better your battalion looked at you with disgust and hurt than in grief and devastation. You think you could take that.
It was Mingyu who had found out first, the battalion’s lead medic. He’d stripped you with the efficiency of a skilled doctor and then flushed to the tips of his toes at the sight of your tits. You’re pretty sure they all got a good look, before Seungkwan had swung into action, ordering privacy with threat of testicle removal.
When you’d cried - in pain from the embedded arrow head in your right side, heartbroken at the truth and terrified of the consequences - Seungkwan had held your hand against his chest. You’d called him “pretty boy” and he’d given you a wet smile.
You almost wished for that Seungkwan now, the one who could actually look at you.
In the end, it was Jeonghan that spoke to you first. “So it’s true, you really are a woman.” He didn’t say it like an insult, like you were something less than, but still you bristled.
“Was it the tits that gave it away?” You snapped. Like old times, like you were allowed that kind of familiarity.
You weren’t, not anymore. Wonwoo tensed, hand flexing around the handle of his sword. Jeonghan though, he just grinned in wryly amusement. “Are you saying that as Hyunjin or the real you?”
Hyunjin. The name you had given yourself to match your male identity, the name your parents would have given you if you were born masculine.
“Can’t it be both,” you challenged.
“What’s your birth name?” Joshua asked. He stood further in the group, looking every bit like the ideal soldier despite the fighting they’d all barely recovered from. You’d resent him for it if he wasn’t so sweet.
You hesitated and then gave your name, the one you hadn’t spoken to yourself or others in 4 months. It felt wrong to say, clumsy on your tongue.
“Pretty,” Chan said, mild and perfunctory, “it suits you.”
You winced. “Please, don’t.”
The soft words weren’t ones they had ever shared with you but now that your true gender was revealed, it was like talking to a distant suitor. It made your skin crawl and chest ache.
Seungcheol shifted in his chair and eyes snapped to him instinctively. It was a show of how well trained you all were and how respected the captain was.
“Why did you come here?” he asked quietly. He didn’t have to shout for you to know he was angry.
“I was conscripted,” you stated. The same as them all.
Seungcheol’s eyebrows knitted together. “The eldest son was conscripted.”
“And my father has no son, only me,” you pushed. “He... he barely survived the last war and I couldn’t let that happen. Not if I could help.”
“So you became a man,” Jeonghan said.
You sighed. “I became Hyunjin. Hyunjin is me.”
“But he’s not, is he?” Soonyoung interjected, shoulders tense, “Hyunjin is - was, the eldest son, ready to die for his country and you - if you’d died, you’d be someone’s daughter that would be devastated that you died in their place.”
You swallowed. You tried not to think about your mother and father, holding the secret of your disappearance to hide the shame, to stop the punishment that no doubt would come for you. It was illegal for women to fight in the imperial army and it was treason to infiltrate the military. You’d known that at the time you cut your hair short, stole your father’s horse and galloped off to meet the recruiters.
“I’d do it again,” you said, unexpectedly honest. For your father, you’d do anything to keep him safe just as he had your entire life. For your mother, you’d do anything to ensure that the love of her life was always there for her - you remembered how much it had broken her during the first war. And, selfishly, you think you’d do it again for the power you didn’t know you could hold and for them. Each and every one of those soldiers you’d met and cared for. You couldn’t imagine a world where you didn’t know them, even if they would come to regret your presence here.
It was Jihoon who said the quiet part aloud. “You should be executed for this.”
Your heart leaped fearfully in your chest before you could control it. You watched the uneasy shuffle of legs, the eyes that widened and looked away, the slow closing of fists. You watched Jihoon’s expression and how his eyes seemed so sad. You didn’t like him looking at you like this.
Minghao was the first to object. “Hyung, Captain,” he corrected himself, “you can’t-”
“It’s the law,” Jun interjected.
“The emperor would destroy us if he found out,” Seokmin pointed out, the first thing he’d said in your presence since he found out. He still wouldn’t look at you, even now. You’d shared a tent with him, spent the most amount of time with him as they marched in formation, and maybe that was why he was taking it the hardest. To see the usually so happy man like this was painful.
“I didn’t patch her up just for you to end her,” Mingyu said.
“What are we supposed to do?” Soonyoung challenged, “She’s not a pet.”
You looked at Seungcheol, at the man you respected more than you ever thought possible. “I’ll accept your judgment, Captain Choi.”
His lips twisted into a bitter smile. “You haven’t called me that in months.” You didn’t answer. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to. His eyes flickered to Mingyu, “How long is recovery expected?”
“Another three weeks at least for me to feel comfortable,” the medic explained.
Seungcheol looked back at you. “Consider this a debt paid. A life for a life,” he murmured, “Hyunjin will stay with us on the march to the capital until Medic Kim says that you’re well. Then you’ll leave and never come back.”
It was the best scenario and yet the mercy only made disappointment curl in the pit of your stomach. “Yes Captain.”
“We don’t speak of this,” Seungcheol’s eyes landed on each in his battalion, men he trusted more than anything.
The room saluted. “Yes Captain.”
-
On the nights where the negative thoughts become too much, you think living like this might be a bigger punishment than execution. You hadn’t been alone in months and now the sudden absence felt like missing a limb.
You still had your tent, the same one you’d been assigned to that first day but Seokmin had left it almost as soon as the decision to keep you around had been made - you’d caught him as he left, canvas bag thrown over his shoulder. He’d avoided looking at you as he scurried to Seungkwan and Mingyu’s tent. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, shouldn’t have brought a lump to your throat or had tears burning the corner of your eyes. You didn’t sleep that night, trying desperately not to cry.
The next day, he still came to help you put down the tent after breakfast, preparing for the next day of marching. You murmured your thank you but got no response in turn, just the swing of the rolled up tent onto his broad shoulders.
You still had your meals given to you by Chan but now you were the last one to eat, just on the outskirts of the warmth of the fire. Your fingers accidentally brushed the younger officers when you took the bowl and he nearly dropped it in the dirt in his eagerness to get away from you.
You couldn’t do basic training. You’d tried but Jihoon had stopped you with a tightness in his expression. “I think it’s best if you ask if Mingyu has something you can do.” Mingyu had given you a list of herbs to organise so it wasn’t that you were bored, but it was another line of separation that highlighted just how little they wanted to do with you.
You hated that it hurt you so much. As the only child of a great family, you were alone a lot of the time, time taken up by ceremonies and responsibilities that were suitable for a daughter. You did them with a smile because you had to. Running about to join the army might have been the first thing you’d actually done for yourself. You hadn’t expected to love it, to love the routine and the power it gave you, to love watching the sun rise and set as you marched through landscapes you never thought you’d see in your lifetime.
And the people. You adored them in a way you didn’t think it was possible to love those who weren’t in your family line.
You missed Seokmin’s laugh, how it shook his whole body and he had to lean on you for support. You missed Seungkwan’s singing at the most inopportune times, especially during the night watch. You missed Soonyoung’s jokes and Jihoon’s tired acceptance of them.
You missed Vernon’s quiet correction of how you hold your sword and how Jun seemed to know exactly what you were feeling before you could even formulate the words yourself. You missed Jeonghan’s teasing and how Joshua fell into the trap every single time.
You missed drinking tea in the early morning with Minghao after a long night patrol and joining Chan to hunt whatever animal was available to eat in the mountains. You missed Mingyu getting just a little too drunk on moonshine and spilling one too many secrets of his own secrets. You missed the shy way that Wonwoo smiled when his battalion teased him before cutting them down with the driest comments. You missed the way Seungcheol used to watch over you all, softness in his eyes.
You’d never get that again, you thought, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. No, the pain of what you had lost would just stay with you for the rest of the life your Captain had determined you got to keep. A lifetime of punishment indeed.
-
It’s on the fifth day of your social isolation that the camp was ambushed. You were in your tent when the noises started, familiar enough that they scratched down the back of your mind like a physical wound. You were up, moving instinctively. You grabbed at your sword - you still sharpened it daily, like you’d be taught, even if you weren’t being actively trained anymore - and pushed open the tent flaps to carnage.
Hun. A unit like yours, likely on their way to the battle front as you had been, and now reconvening further into the country. An attack of opportunity because how could anyone resist their enemy so unsuspectedly waiting for them?
Adrenaline thrummed through you and you were taking a step forward, ready to jump in, before you were blocked.
“Stay behind me,” Wonwoo insisted, already using his broad form to shove you where he wanted.
“I can fight,” you reminded, already skirting around, before the firm hand of Joshua pushed you back.
“Stay back,” he ordered firmly. “We can’t let you get hurt again.”
“Hurt saving your sorry arses,” you reminded him. There was something about the way he said it that stunk of ‘man protects woman’ and you wanted to scream. “I’m fine.”
“Would you just listen for once?” Soonyoung complained.
You pushed through again, back into formation. “You would never have let me sit out of a fight.”
“That was before,” Joshua murmured bitterly. His body was already moving to block you again, so you shoved him hard in the right shoulder.
“Your sudden realisation that I have tits does not determine whether I can stab someone,” you snapped. “You guys trained me. Do you have no faith in your skills?”
Wonwoo’s jaw tightened. Soonyoung looked like he wanted to strangle you. Joshua’s gaze danced around your face before sighing in defeat. “Just...stick close, okay?”
You tried not to let the relief thumping through your body show on your face. “Yes sir.”
Soonyoung spluttered. “Are you crazy?”
“She’ll follow us anyway,” Joshua sighed, “At least this way we won’t be distracted.”
“Speak for yourself,” Wonwoo grumbled but you ignored him.
It was strange how, when fighting, you felt more at peace than you had all week. Your side pulled uncomfortably around your stitches and you had no doubt that you might have opened it again but you didn’t care. How could you when you could almost pretend that things were back to normal?
If you dodged, another swung their sword to cut down the enemy. When Soonyoung ducked, you were swinging over his head, a clean cut across the jugular. An axe head clipped you before you could put more distance between you but Wonwoo was already there, delivering a pommel blow to the side of the attacker’s head. Joshua made formation calls and you all slipped into them instinctively, muscle memory.
Around you, you could see the others of your battalion, weapons blurring at the speed they are moving. You watched a Hun soldier kick Jun in the chest and Minghao jump in from the side, diverting attention to himself. You caught Chan using nearby branches as offensive weaponry so Jeonghan could cut at the tendons on the back of a heel.
It was bloody. It was exhausting.
You felt like you could breathe easier.
You didn’t move fast enough.
Oxygen was punched out of your chest by an arm, the owner shoving you until your back slammed against the trunk of a tree. You gripped at his hand, suddenly so aware of how much bigger the Hun were than you, and tried to use your legs to kick out. He took the blow with a wince and pressed down harder.
“A pretty boy,” he breathed, words twisting in an insult, “ever taken Mongolian cock before?”
He tightened his grip enough that you could see spots. Over the fur covered shoulder, you see your captain barrelling closer. “You ever,” you wheezed, “had your throat cut before?”
You could see the confusion flash through his eyes before they were replaced by shock and the sharp end of a blade through the side of his neck. The grip on you tightened and then loosened as he was shoved away, heavy body dropping like lead on the dirt floor. You landed unsteadily on your feet and coughed through sharp inhales.
“What are you doing here?” Seungcheol snapped.
“What I was trained to do, Captain Choi,” you rasped.
You could see the vein in his forehead pulsing, but he couldn’t comment any further because there was another sword being thrust at him.
The fight continued until Mingyu put an axe head into the back of the last member of the Hun unit. Post-fight silence rose up to surround them and you couldn’t hear anything except your own heartbeat. Your eyes scanned over each of them, taking a mental stock of bruises and cuts and ultimately the fact that each one was still on two feet. A momentary relief, of familiarity, before eyes snapped to you and an irate captain was storming across the bloody ground towards you.
You straightened up instinctively, falling to attention.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Seungcheol demanded, “you should have stayed inside.”
“And let you fight the Hun without me?” you retorted, “Not a chance of that in hell, captain.”
“Do you have a death wish?”
“My death would bring honour to my family name,” you said firmly.
Seungcheol pinched the bridge of his nose. “And what exactly would happen to my name if I brought home your father’s daughter in a body bag?”
It hurt you to think about them, so you tried not to. “They would know I died for my country.”
Somewhere over his shoulder, you heard Seungkwan’s long groan of “we’re terrible influences.”
The captain clearly heard it too, his lips twitching upward in the corner before he could stop himself. It had been so long since you’d been on the receiving end of such a look and you held on to it greedily. You tried not to tremble at the way Seungcheol’s eyes dragged down you, assessing, heavier than they had been before.
“We should leave you at the next village,” he mused.
You retorted quickly, “You can’t.”
Seungcheol arched an eyebrow. “And why is that?”
“A life for a life,” you whispered. “I have a life debt. I will not be dishonoured.”
Seungcheol looked at you incredulously before laughing, this breathy and full body thing that made you feel warm all over. You hadn’t heard him laugh like that before. “You’re the strangest woman I’ve ever met,” he commented, “to willingly stay in a warzone.”
“It is my honour,” you explained.
“And mine too, I suppose,” Seungcheol sighed and then groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. “This is insane. You’re insane. I’m insane.”
“So we really are going to keep her as a pet,” Soonyoung commented and then yelped when Jihoon elbowed him in the side. “Fuck, hyung, that hurt.”
“Do you have any idea how to talk to women?” Jihoon hissed.
“Only his mother,” Chan teased and let himself get pulled into a headlock by Soonyoung.
Seungcheol was still watching you. He didn’t quite look like your commander any more, expression softened at the edges. It was enough to make you feel breathless. “Don’t think you’re going to get out of clean up duty,” he commented.
“Seokmin is the one who keeps taking the tent roll,” you challenged.
The man in question squeaked, eyes wide as if caught under cannon fire, and a flush crossed the bridge of his nose. “I can’t just let her carry it,” he insisted, “it’s not right.”
“I did before,” you reminded me.
“My father would be so disappointed, I can’t,” Seokmin shook his head.
“Wait until he finds out that you slept next to an unmarried woman for 3 months,” Jeonghan joked. His words were light but the implication was clear.
“Nothing happened!” Seokmin insisted.
“I wouldn’t,” you said at the same time.
Your old tent mate looked offended. “What do you mean, wouldn’t? I’m a handsome guy!”
It was true. In your life before, everything about Seokmin - about any of them really - would have been positive in the list the matchmaker gave you. He’s from a good family, too genes, pretty smile, would treat you right. The thought had occurred to you that if you brought any one of these men home with the promise of grandchildren, your parents might forgive your transgressions that lead to this moment.
You forced your thoughts away from there immediately. “Do you want me to want to fuck you?”
Seokmin looked like a fish out of water, gapping at you. Mingyu looked a mixture of delighted and disgusted. Jun had pushed his lips together to try not to laugh so obviously.
Seungcheol rubbed his temple. “No one is fucking anyone.”
Minghao booed. Jihoon cuffed the back of his neck.
“You’d be so lucky,” you said and rolled your eyes to the heavens so you didn’t collapse into a ball of embarrassment.
“Mingyu, check her stitches,” Seungcheol ordered, raising his voice in a very pointed change of subject, “and then we’re moving on before another unit tries to corner us. We move in 10.”
“Yes captain.”
-
Even before the truth came out, there was something about you that Mingyu found powerfully attractive.
It made sense, he thought, that you weren’t who you originally claimed to be. It was in the way that you spoke, your view of the world and those around you. It was how you held everything with such gentleness, except for your sword. It was in how you smiled and he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.
Mingyu had known for a long time that he liked pretty things and you just happened to be one of the prettiest in this dark time.
You sat on the edge of his sleeping mat, undershirt tugged up so that he could reexamine your injury. He tried not to touch you too much - he’s never bandaged a woman until you, and there was some rule about decorum shouting at the back of his mind that sounded suspiciously like his old teacher. Seungkwan rested against his own, back to you, taking the privacy as a time to rest before they start their march again - “and to keep you honest,” he had teased, making Wonwoo flush and demand that Mingyu explain himself.
You’d laughed, another pretty thing, at his embarrassment.
Now, adrenaline slipping through your fingers and the confidence you’d had in front of their captain was disappearing, you had only anxious sadness.
“Do you think it’ll go back to normal?” You muttered, a sweet confession that made Mingyu’s chest hurt.
He had been in a unique position of straddling the line between you, the woman they didn’t know, and the others, the men who didn’t know how to handle the lie. He’d had to, being the only medic in the unit and, in all honesty, he thought he liked you too much by then to actually keep his distance.
You’d not said it but it was easy to tell how the last days had cut at you. When Jihoon had removed you from basic training, you’d come to him, as ordered, and sat in gloomy silence as you organised herb packets and lotions at his request.
Mingyu didn’t want to lie. “Maybe,” he answered, “but I do know what it didn’t feel right until we were fighting with you at our side.”
Seungkwan snorted. “That's so cheesy Gyu.”
Mingyu flushed in embarrassment but you laughed. “I love the cheese,” you promised. Your hand reached for his and squeezed, and he tried not to focus on how much bigger he was compared to you. Looking at you this close, he wondered how many one ever thought you were the eldest son at all.
“Just keep a few ingredients unstocked for me, just in case,” you said. It was hard to tell if you were joking or not but Mingyu answered with all honesty.
“Of course. Always.”
Seongkwan coughed as if that could cover the giggle he let out. The back of Mingyu’s neck warmed. You grinned at him and released your grip. He shouldn’t have missed it as much as he did. “So how’s the stitches looking?”
Mingyu’s eyes flickered down and back again. “In tact but barely.”
You winced. “Sorry to ruin your hard work.”
“It’ll scar if you don’t let it heal properly,” he pointed out.
“You all have scars, I should get a few of my own,” you commented. Mingyu bit down the urge to say it’s different when it’s you, the eldest daughter of a noble family. Instead, he cleaned the weeping edges of the wound and redressed it quietly. You thanked him, said you were going to repack and disappeared beyond the tent flaps.
Across the tent, Seungkwan tied the string on his bag. “You could be less obvious,” he teased.
Mingyu whipped his head around to his old friend with wide eyes. “Do you think she noticed?”
“I think she’s too polite to say anything, but she isn’t stupid,” he commented, “neither is anyone else.”
“Do you think the others,” Mingyu paused, as a thought occurred to him. “wait, do you -”
Seungkwan groaned when he stretched, slipping the drawstring back onto his back. “I think,” he said, choosing his words carefully, “Lady Jin doesn’t realise how much power she has over us. All of us.”
Mingyu thought about your smile again, the way it brightened every facet of your face, and the startling truth that he’d spill blood willingly to keep you happy. He pressed down on his knuckles, working out the cramp rising there. “All of us huh?” He mused.
Seungkwan’s lips stretched into a bashful smile and gave a one armed shrug. “What can I say? That’s a girl worth fighting for.”
Mingyu barked out a laugh. “Now who’s being cheesy?”
-
“Are you sure about this?” Jihoon murmured.
Seungcheol sighed. “What choice do I have? You heard the lady.”
It still felt strange to say. When you had stumbled into the camp, imperial summons in your hand, Soonyoung had thought you did not look like a solider. But then, that’s the problem with conscription - boys with luxuries and those without food in their bellies showed up in equal measure, and it was part of his job as a General to make them war ready. It wasn’t something Soonyoung enjoyed but it was something he was proud of.
Hyunjin had been weak. Makes sense now, he thought, because no noble family would have their eldest daughter doing any activity to build muscle or stamina. You were smart though, he’d recognised, could reroute the unit in a moments notice, and determined. You picked up the sword when you dropped it. You walked on shaking legs. You fell over tree roots and got back up.
Soonyoung respected you.
“That lady shouldn’t be here,” he said, firm.
The Kwon family was one of nobility and as the second son, a career in the military was expected. As a child, he’d grown up with all the rules and expectations and social agreements drilled into him. “Your honour,” his father had said, “is everything.”
Soonyoung had never felt so dishonourable than when you were dragged before them, a wound in the side of your torso and the damning truth that you weren’t Hyunjin after all.
Lady Jin.
We should have protected her, he thought with a tight jaw. He knew he wasn’t the only one who thought so. They had all been dealing with the new truth in some way - the reality that bumped up against their previous understanding, the closeness they had gained, the feeling of betrayal at being lied to by someone who they considered family.
“But she’s here now,” Jihoon reminded. His lips flickered into a fond smile, only recognisable to those who knew him well. “With a life debt.”
“So she stays,” Seungcheol repeated, “until we get to the imperial city and can send her home.”
It was what he wanted and yet it still struck him uncomfortably. Home meant not here, not with them. Soonyoung shook the thought away - he was not ready to follow it to an unfortunate conclusion.
“Lady Jin is Hyunjin to whoever asks,” Seungcheol added, “if someone were to find out…”
“They won’t,” Jihoon was confident, “this unit wouldn’t do anything to put her at risk.”
“How can you be sure?” Soonyoung asked.
The shorter General laughed, his grin stretching wide. “Haven’t you seen how they look at her? Everyone thinks they’re being so sly.”
“Everyone?” Seungcheol arched an eyebrow. He didn’t sound upset, only surprised by the revelation.
“Not me,” Soonyoung was quick to refuse.
Jihoon’s eyes flickered to him and gave a small shrug. “Whatever you say, Soonie.”
casualties of chemistry - choi seungcheol imagine finale
and here we are🤍 thank you so much for loving this fic. truly it's been a rollercoaster. I had so much writing it, seeing the response it got made me sooooo happy🥺tbh every time i post a fic, that's exactly how i feel. To have something I only imagined, something that only existed in my mind, and have it loved by others it always make my hear feel warm.
Like neither of you say the words fully because speaking them too clearly might make everything too real. The last day before he went the atmosphere was heavy despite trying to find the light.
Even when the both of you try to not show the fear, the worry was obvious behind your eyes.
The last night, while you help him pack his stuff he takes a simple gold chain from his drawer and put the ring there before clasping it around your neck. He tucks the chain with the ring carefully beneath your shirt himself.
Neither of you says What if this is the last time because neither of you can survive hearing it out loud.
Then he was gone.
The first few weeks aren’t too bad. You get three updates total. Short. Obviously screened for safety but still it was enough to ease your heart and mind even for a bit. Enough to know he’s alive. Enough to keep breathing easier for another few days.
Cheol: Don’t forget to eat.
Cheol: Don’t drink too much coffee, take a cab if you’re too sleepy to take the bus
Cheol: I miss you
After that, it was silence.
Your own messages stop delivering entirely. Calls unreachable. No updates. Nothing. And logically, you know what that means. Operational security. Dangerous mission.
He told you enough information to know when this happens it means he’s in the middle of it all. The most dangerous part.
Eight weeks pass then nine. Ten. Then suddenly it’s been twenty six weeks total. One Hundred Eighty Two days.
Too long. Far too long.
Your shifts become harder somehow during this stretch.
You’re still Dr. Y/L/N in the ER. Still terrifyingly composed during trauma calls but now exhaustion follows you home differently because there’s no one waiting outside the hospital with coffee.
Just silence.
The ring stays around your neck every single day. Simple chain. Simple promise.
Sometimes during particularly bad shifts, your fingers curl around it instinctively beneath your scrubs. Like touching it grounds you.
Nurse Yang notices once while you’re scrubbing in for surgery.
“No news?”
You shake your head once but you repeat his words to yourself constantly now.
No news is good news.
Meaning somewhere out there… He’s alive. Somewhere out there Captain Choi Seungcheol is still fighting his way back to you.
That thought becomes enough to survive on. But logic becomes a fragile thing at 2 a.m. when you’re staring at your phone rereading old messages like they might suddenly update themselves.
Some nights are worse. You’ll sit alone in his apartment curled into the couch wearing one of his sweatshirts while rain taps softly against the windows.
The city glowing outside. That’s when your mind drifts too easily to possibilities, to worst-case scenarios, to all the things trauma surgeons know too well about fragile human bodies.
Those are the nights you force yourself toward the shelf with his medals instead.
Toward proof that he survived before, that he came back before.
Proof that Captain Choi Seungcheol is too stubborn to lose.
One particularly brutal night after losing a patient in surgery, you come home shaking with exhaustion. You barely make it through the apartment door before sinking onto his couch still in scrubs.
And for the first time since he left, you break. Exhausted tears hidden behind your hands because you miss him so much it physically hurts.
And eventually your hand slips beneath your shirt automatically until your fingers curl around the ring resting against your chest.
You close your eyes tightly and whisper into the empty apartment “You better come home, Captain.”
The silence afterward feels endless but somehow somewhere deep down beneath all the fear you still believe he will.
=
Thursday starts like every other impossible hospital day. Too bright fluorescent lights. Too much blood. Too little sleep.
You’ve been awake for almost twenty hours when you finally finish a trauma surgery that nearly went sideways twice.
By the time you step out of the OR, your scrubs are sticking to your skin and your shoulders ache from tension.
Still you saved them. So you scrub your hands slowly at the sink afterward trying to steady your breathing again.
Another life dragged back from the edge. Another day survived.
You’re already mentally preparing for charting when you push through the ER doors.
And then you see him, an officer standing near the nurses’ station.
Military uniform. Formal posture waiting by the main lobby. At first your brain doesn’t process it. Hospitals get officers sometimes. Paperwork. Routine check-ups.
You glance around briefly assuming he’s here for someone else.
Then he looks directly at you.
And suddenly every cell in your body goes cold.
No.
No no no.
The world narrows instantly.
You stop walking. The officer takes one careful step forward.
“Dr. Y/L/N?”
Your heartbeat becomes deafening.
Somewhere far away monitors keep beeping. Nurses move past. Someone calls for transport but all you can hear is blood roaring in your ears.
The officer’s expression shifts subtly.
Gentler.
Prepared.
And you know. You know before he even speaks.
The floor beneath your feet feels like it physically gives out
“Captain Choi Seungcheol was injured during deployment—”
No.
“—he was airlifted immediately—”
No.
“—he’s currently being transferred to the base hospital—”
No.
“—doctors are already operating—”
Operating.
“—the injuries were severe—”
Your breathing stutters violently.
“—he’s unconscious—”
The word slams into you hardest.
Unconscious.
Everything after that blurs.
Too close. Critical. Heavy blood loss.
None of it makes sense because this morning you were literally thinking about him while making coffee, because his hoodie you wore last night is still hanging over the couch.
Because he promised.
You stare at the officer but suddenly can’t feel your hands properly. Your fingers curl instinctively around the ring beneath your scrubs.
Cold metal against shaking skin.
No.
No no no.
Not him.
Not Seungcheol. Not your Seungcheol.
Your vision blurs instantly. The hallway tilts sickeningly.
Then somewhere nearby “Doctor Y/N?” Nurse Yang spots you talking to the officer, walking slowly towards you.
Bless Nurse Yang. She takes one look at your face from down the hall and immediately knows something is wrong.
“Y/N?”
Your knees buckle before you even realize it. The floor rushes up terrifyingly fast. Then suddenly arms catch you halfway down.
Voices erupt around you.
“Get a chair—”
“She’s pale—”
“Doctor, breathe—”
But all you can hear is:
Unconscious.
Severe.
Operating.
You start crying before you even realize you are. Terrified broken sobs that rip out of your chest uncontrollably while Nurse Yang kneels in front of you holding your face steady.
“Hey hey hey—look at me”
Your breathing turns sharp and uneven
“I can’t—” you choke out “I can’t—”
“Yes you can” her hands wipe your tears quickly like she’s done this your entire life, purely maternal. Grounding. Steady.
You grip desperately at her sleeves
“Where is he?” you choke out in between sobs
The officer answers carefully, “He arrived at the military hospital approximately twenty minutes ago.”
“Is he alive?” The question comes out broken. Barely audible.
The officer pauses just long enough to destroy you further
“Yes.”
You inhale shakily. Alive.
Alive.
Alive.
You cling to the word immediately.
Nurse Yang smooths your hair back gently while you struggle to breathe through the panic crushing your chest.
“You need to go” she says softly
Your eyes snap to hers immediately “But—”
“He needs you more right now.” That nearly breaks you all over again.
You shake violently while trying to stand. Doctor instincts and terrified girlfriend instincts colliding painfully together.
Your brain keeps supplying possibilities automatically.
Internal bleeding. Head trauma. Ventilator. Emergency thoracotomy.
You know too much. Far too much.
“Hey.” Nurse Yang grips your shoulders firmly before you spiral further “Don’t do that to yourself yet.”
Your eyes fill again instantly “What if I’m too late?”
Her expression softens painfully “This is the same man who waited for you for seven hours. I’m betting everything that even now he’s fighting his way back to you”
Neither of you can promise that and you both know it but she still says it to you.
The officer offers to escort you immediately. Someone brings your bag. Someone else presses water into your shaking hands.
The ER around you keeps moving. Life continuing cruelly normal while yours cracks apart in real time.
As you walk out of the hospital, your fingers clutch the ring beneath your scrubs so tightly it hurts.
Your engagement ring.
Your promise.
Your Seungcheol.
Please. Please come back to me.
Because suddenly the thought of a world without Captain Choi Seungcheol in it feels impossible to survive.
The drive to the base feels unreal, it felt like you’re watching someone else’s life happen through thick glass.
The officer beside you speaks occasionally.
You think. Maybe. The words barely register. Everything sounds distorted underwater.
Your hands won’t stop shaking. You keep rubbing your thumb against the ring hanging beneath your shirt until the skin feels raw.
Outside the car window, the city passes in blurred streaks of light. Entire worlds continuing normally while yours feels suspended somewhere between hope and catastrophe.
By the time you reach the military base hospital, your body is running purely on adrenaline and terror.
Everything there feels colder somehow. Security escorts you through corridors too clean and too quiet.
You catch glimpses of uniforms. Doctors moving quickly. Restricted doors.
No one tells you much. Only fragments.
“He’s still in surgery.” “There was significant blood loss.” “Multiple shrapnel injuries.” “Close-range impact.”
Each sentence lands like another crack splitting through your chest. And because you’re a doctor that makes this infinitely worse. You know what significant blood loss means. You know how dangerous shrapnel is, how unpredictable.
How one tiny fragment can tear through organs and arteries like paper.
Your brain fills in every possibility automatically no matter how hard you try stopping it.
You imagine ventilators. Chest tubes. Open abdomen. Internal hemorrhage.
You hate yourself for knowing too much.
They settle you in a waiting area eventually.
Someone offers water, coffee, food but you refuse all of it. You can’t swallow properly anyway.
Hours pass strangely after that. Time becomes measured in footsteps outside the OR and every time the doors swing open your heart nearly stops.
At some point an officer quietly approaches you again.
Older. Gentler expression. The kind reserved for terrible conversations.
Your stomach drops instantly.
“Dr. Y/L/N,” he says carefully “may we speak privately for a moment?”
No.
You already know what kind of conversation this is before he even finishes.
You stand. Your legs feel numb walking into the quieter office nearby.
The officer gestures toward a chair.
“Captain Choi updated his records before deployment.”
Your chest tightens violently. The forms, the ones at the dining table. The ones you cried over.
The officer continues carefully
“In the event of worst-case outcomes, you were designated primary next of kin regarding medical authorization and personal directives.”
Worst-case outcomes. Your vision blurs immediately again.
The officer slides a folder carefully across the desk. Inside are signatures you recognize instantly.
Seungcheol’s handwriting.
Steady. Certain. Prepared.
Prepared for things he never prepared you for.
Your breath catches painfully.
“There are protocols we may need to discuss if his condition worsens—”
“No.” The word leaves you instantly. Sharp.
The officer pauses gently “Doctor—”
“No.” You back away slightly from the desk
Because if you let this become real. if you let yourself imagine life support decisions and emergency directives and memorial procedures. You’ll shatter completely.
“He’s alive,” you whisper desperately
“Yes”
“So don’t talk to me like he’s not coming back”
Then it was just silence again. Not the comforting kind, heavy. Too loud.
The officer’s expression softens further. Not pity. Something sadder. Understanding.
“Captain Choi spoke very highly of you” he says quietly instead
You look away quickly before another sob escapes. The officer thankfully doesn’t push further.
Eventually he guides you back toward the surgical floor where the waiting becomes unbearable again.
Hour four.
Hour five.
Hour six.
You don’t move.
Not really.
You sit curled slightly forward in the chair outside surgery with your hands clasped so tightly together your knuckles ache.
Every doctor who walks past makes your head snap up instantly. Every time it’s not his surgeon, disappointment crashes into you again. Someone drapes a blanket over your shoulders at some point.
You don’t notice who.
Your eyes burn continuously from exhaustion and crying.
Still you stay.
Because what if he wakes up? What if he asks for you?
What if—
You can’t not be there.
By hour seven you’ve started bargaining silently with every higher power you’ve never properly believed in.
Please. Take anything. Take sleep. Take years off your life.
Just let him survive this.
Just let him come home.
Please.
Then finally by hour eight the surgery doors open again. This time a doctor steps out removing his surgical cap slowly. And immediately you know this is it.
Your body jerks upright so fast the chair nearly tips over behind you.
Your heartbeat becomes violent.
The surgeon looks exhausted. Blood still staining part of his scrub sleeve.
You cross the distance toward him before he even fully reaches you.
“How is he?” Your voice breaks halfway through the question
The doctor studies your face for one terrible endless second “He survived the surgery.”
The air leaves your lungs so sharply it hurts.You physically stagger with relief.
Alive.
Alive.
Alive.
But the doctor’s expression stays serious.
“He lost a dangerous amount of blood,” he continues carefully “There was significant internal damage. We removed the shrapnel we could safely access”
Your chest tightens again instantly.
“He’s critical right now,” the surgeon says honestly “The next twenty-four hours are extremely important.”
Not safe yet. Not stable. But alive. You understand fully what he’s talking about but still it’s like the words are not sinking in.
You nod shakily while tears spill again despite yourself.
“Can I see him?”
“…Yes.”
And suddenly your legs almost give out from relief and terror all over again.
Because Captain Choi Seungcheol survived.
Barely but he’s still here.
Still yours to hold onto.
The first twelve hours pass with your heart lodged permanently in your throat. You didn’t even dare to sleep even when your eyes hurt and every fibre of your being was beyond exhausted.
The fear is still flowing stronger in your system that every time you so much close your eyes for 5 seconds, every ugly outcome plays in your head.
So you stay awake through the night, until the day breaks again and the world continues turning while yours stay suspended.
Every monitor beep becomes life or death.
Every slight shift in his vitals sends adrenaline through your bloodstream instantly.
You barely sleep. Barely eat. Barely move from the chair beside his bed.
But he makes it through the night.
Then another and another.
By the second day, the doctors cautiously stop using the word critical every other sentence.
By then you finally breathe slightly easier. Not fully but enough to stop feeling like the world might end every time a nurse walks toward his room.
As a doctor, you know exactly what his body is doing right now. Healing takes time especially after trauma like this. You know waking him too early would only strain recovery further.
So instead you wait.
That becomes your entire existence. Waiting, watching, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat through machines.
Sometimes talking quietly to him when the room gets too silent.
Telling him about your shifts.
About Nurse Yang threatening to physically drag you home if you didn’t shower soon.
About how Minho nearly cried seeing him in surgery recovery.
Anything. Everything.
Because the idea of him waking up alone feels unbearable somehow.
By day three, nearly everyone on the floor knows you.
The exhausted ER doctor who refuses to leave Captain Choi’s bedside.
The nurses start bringing you coffee without asking, one older nurse even gently scolds you for sleeping bent over his bed like you’re trying to become part of the furniture.
Nurse Yang arrives that afternoon carrying an overnight bag and enough judgment in her face to rival a disappointed mother.
“You look horrible” she says immediately
You nearly cry from affection alone “You came.”
“Obviously.” She hands you the bag then hugs you tightly. Exactly what you needed after all these days.
“Fresh clothes. Toothbrush. Skin care because frankly this situation is tragic.”
You laugh weakly for the first time in days. Then immediately start crying afterward anyway because exhaustion makes emotions ridiculous.
Nurse Yang hugs you tightly again “He’s alive,” she reminds softly
You nod shakily against her shoulder “I know.”
Still you don’t leave. Even after showering in the hospital facilities and changing clothes, you return right back to his bedside.
Because this is where you belong right now. Beside him. Waiting for him to come back fully.
And finally on the third night Seungcheol wakes up.
At first, it’s pain.
Everywhere.
Heavy. Blunt. Like his entire body’s been shattered apart and stitched back together wrong.
His chest burns. Hiis ribs ache sharply every time he breathes. Something pulls unpleasantly at his arm. Machines beep steadily nearby.
Then memory crashes back all at once.
The mission. The explosion. Blood. Darkness.
And instantly his eyes force themselves open harder.
Disoriented.
The room swims briefly before focusing slowly.
Hospital. Recovery room.
Alive.
Then—
You.
That wakes him fully despite the pain screaming through his body.
His head turns sharply enough to make dizziness hit immediately but he barely notices because there you are curled awkwardly in the chair beside his bed.
Asleep.
Your body slumped at an angle that absolutely cannot be comfortable. Eyes obviously swollen even during sleep. One hand loosely gripping the edge of his blanket even in sleep.
And his hand—
His hand is resting against your cheek like at some point you must’ve taken it carefully and placed it there yourself.
Seungcheol stares at you silently. His chest hurts worse for entirely different reasons now.
You look exhausted.
No—destroyed.
Dark circles heavy beneath your eyes, like the light that was there before he left also went away with him. Cheeks thinner somehow like life drained everything from you the past months he wasn’t present.
His throat tightens painfully.
How long have you been here? The thought alone nearly wrecks him immediately.
Slowly, carefully, he shifts his fingers slightly against your cheek.
Tiny movement but enough to stir you awake. As if even in your sleep, your body is in tune to his movements.
Your brows twitch faintly then your eyes slowly open. Disoriented at first, heavy with exhaustion. You blink once.
Twice.
Then freeze completely.
Your gaze locks onto his and suddenly you’re awake.
“Cheol?” Your voice cracks instantly
Seungcheol tries speaking but his throat feels wrecked
“…Hey pretty girl.”
The moment you hear his voice awake and real, it took you a second to let it all sink in. And then… you break.
A sob leaves you immediately before you can stop it. You stand so fast the chair nearly crashes backward.
“Hey—”
“Don’t,” you choke out instantly while tears spill down your face “Don’t even start.”
Seungcheol looks at you like he’s seeing sunlight for the first time. Then suddenly you’re gripping his hand carefully with both of yours like you’re terrified he’ll disappear if you let go.
“You idiot,” you whisper through tears “You absolute idiot.”
His lips twitch weakly “There she is.”
“You almost died!”
“I know”
“You promised me!” the words come out broken.
Small, breaking with each syllable and somehow that hurts him more than the explosion ever did.
Seungcheol’s gaze softens painfully while watching you cry beside him. His thumb brushes weakly across your cheek.
“I’m sorry”
“You scared me so bad” your voice shakes violently now “I thought—”
You can’t even finish it because saying it out loud feels impossible. It’s a version of reality you don’t even want to speak out to the universe.
Seungcheol watches you silently for a second before gathering enough strength to squeeze your hand back.
“But I came back.”
That absolutely ruins you. You lean forward carefully immediately, forehead pressing shakily against the back of his hand while you cry silently.
And Seungcheol… even half destroyed. even barely conscious, even in pain looks at you and realizes one terrifying undeniable truth:
Coming back to you was the only thing he thought about while dying.
You cry, you let out all the tears you didn’t know you still had in you even after the past 4 days you’ve cried by his bedside. And Seungcheol, even with the stabbing pain on his side, every bone aching in his body, he holds you close.
He soothes you as you cry, until it quiets down and you’re sniffling softly still glued to his side.
You look at him, thankful you get to see those eyes again staring back at you.
“Don’t you ever, and I mean ever scare me like that again. I swear I will revive you myself just so I can scold you some more” you mumble jokingly, earning a small smile from him.
Despite the bruises, cuts, and wires still attached to him, you see that dimpled smile. He’s still him. Still your Seungcheol.
Still the same man who promised he’ll come back to you every single time.
=
The following weeks settle into something quieter. Like the universe finally decided you both suffered enough for a while.
Seungcheol gets discharged with strict instructions and an even stricter girlfriend.
His doctors barely finish explaining the recovery guidelines before you’re already nodding seriously beside the bed.
“No strenuous activity.”
You nod.
“Limited movement.”
Another nod.
“Absolutely no returning to active duty until cleared.”
You point directly at Seungcheol “You hear that?”
Seungcheol, still pale and sore in the wheelchair, looks entirely unbothered.
“Yes ma’am.”
One doctor snorts into his coffee, another outright laughs but you ignore them.
“This man,” you continue firmly “thinks almost dying means light stretching.”
“It was one time,” Seungcheol mutters
“One time too many” you glare at him
The nurses adore you instantly. Mostly because Captain Choi Seungcheol—terrifying decorated military officer—apparently becomes suspiciously obedient around you.
Back at his apartment, you immediately take over. You of course still refused to leave his side. Not that he minded, he loved it even. Seeing his apartment slowly turn into a shared space with you.
He sees a plant by the windowsil. He knows you’re definitely the one who put it there. He never stayed home long enough before to bother taking care of anything.
But that small plant, that was a simple reminder of all the months you waited for him. All the weeks you both were standing opposite sides of the world, under the same sky, different timezones.
The following days it has become clear you run the house now. You move his medications into neat schedules. Adjust pillows behind his back before he can complain. Hover whenever he walks too quickly.
And god forbid he tries lifting anything heavier than a water bottle.
On day three post-discharge, you walk into the kitchen to find him reaching for a pan. Your expression hardens immediately.
“Choi Seungcheol.”
He freezes mid-reach, slowly glances over “…Yes?”
“Put it down.”
“It’s one pan”
“You have internal stitches.”
“I was making breakfast”
“You were making bad decisions.”
He laughs while obediently setting the pan down anyway.
Honestly, the near death experience somehow made him worse because now he looks at you with this soft, unbearably fond expression every single time you fuss over him.
Like almost dying only made him love you harder. Which is deeply unfair.
A week after discharge, reality unfortunately catches up again.
You have to go back to work.
You stand near the front door in scrubs fixing your ID badge while glaring suspiciously toward the couch.
Seungcheol lounges there comfortably in grey sweats and a black shirt, watching obiediently before he gets scolded yet again.
Still healing. Still slower moving. Still the prettiest man you’ve ever seen apparently.
“I will know,” you warn seriously, pointing at him “And I mean it, Choi Seungcheol. I will know if you don’t rest today.”
He raises both hands immediately in surrender
“Yes ma’am.”
“Don’t yes ma’am me”
“Yes doctor.”
“That’s worse.”
His laugh rumbles warmly through the apartment.
God you missed that sound so much.
You grab your bag dramatically “I’m serious.”
“I know.”
“No lifting.”
“Mhm.”
“No training.”
“Mhm.”
“No pretending you’re fine.”
That makes his expression soften slightly “…Okay.”
You hesitate then.
Because even after weeks beside him in hospital beds and recovery rooms, leaving him still feels wrong somehow. Like your body hasn’t fully recovered from almost losing him.
Seungcheol notices instantly.
Of course he does.
His voice gentles “Come here.”
Immediately your eyes widen
“What?” You rush toward him instantly “What hurts? Your stitches? Let me see.”
You’re already kneeling beside the couch trying to inspect him before he starts laughing softly.
“Pretty girl”
“What happened? What hurts?”
“Nothing.”
“You said come here in the serious voice!”
“There’s a serious voice?”
“Yes!”
He chuckles helplessly before catching your wrist gently. Then with surprising ease despite the healing injuries, he pulls you closer until you tumble onto the couch beside him.
“Cheol—careful—”
“I’m okay.”
You immediately check his expression anyway.
So instead of teasing further, Seungcheol reaches slowly beneath your scrub top.
You blink “What are you—”
His fingers find the chain around your neck. The one you’ve worn every single day.
Carefully, gently, he pulls it free. The ring catches softly in the morning light.
Your breath stills immediately.
Seungcheol’s expression changes then. Softer than you’ve ever seen it.
No captain.
No soldier.
Just him.
Just the man who came back to you.
His fingers carefully unclasp the chain while you stare silently.
“You kept wearing it,” he murmurs quietly
Your throat tightens “Of course I did.”
His gaze lifts to yours slowly. Then with infinite care he slides the ring onto your finger.
Exactly where it belongs.
Your breath catches sharply the moment it settles there. Seungcheol’s thumb brushes gently over your knuckles afterward. Staring back down to your finger where now the rings sits beautifully.
“Told you I’d ask when I came back.”
The tears hit instantly. Again.
You let out a watery laugh while covering your face briefly.
“Oh my god.”
Seungcheol smiles softly. Not teasing, almost nervous somehow. Which feels insane considering this is Captain Choi Seungcheol.
“You’re crying already,” he murmurs
“You almost died!”
“And?”
“And now you’re proposing on a random Tuesday morning!”
“It’s Wednesday.”
You stare at him in disbelief “That’s your defense?”
His dimples appear immediately and despite yourself, despite the tears and fear and everything you’ve both survived—
You laugh.
The kind he was terrified he might never hear again.
Seungcheol watches you like the sound itself keeps him alive.
“I was serious, you know.”
Your laughter fades slowly “I know.”
“When I said I want a life with you.”
Your chest aches painfully because you believe him completely, because you can’t imagine if you didn’t get to live this moment. Because you know you can’t see any other version of you and him but this.
Together.
Seungcheol reaches up carefully, fingers brushing stray damp hair away from your face.
“I know my life is…” He exhales softly “Complicated.”
“You got blown up.”
“A little dramatic, yeah.”
You glare instantly “Choi Seungcheol.”
“Sorry” but he’s smiling faintly now. Then serious again
“I can’t promise easy,” he says honestly “Or normal.”
You shake your head immediately “I don’t need normal.”
His eyes search yours carefully.
“I can promise I’ll love you properly though.”
That destroys whatever composure you had left. Your mouth trembles before you lean forward suddenly and kiss him hard enough he nearly forgets every injury in his body.
Seungcheol makes a startled sound against your lips before immediately kissing you back.
One hand cradling your jaw carefully while the other settles against your waist.
When you finally pull back, both of you breathing unevenly, your forehead drops against his.
And finally, finally he asks
“I used to think coming home meant a place. I used to tell myself I can’t want that, a future, a normal life. That I wouldn’t llve long enough to long for it. And then came you” he breathes out, the most vulnerable he’s ever been in his entire life.
This is all him, Captain Choi, your Seungcheol, all versions of him you’ve come to love, completely surrendering to you.
“If I get a second chance at life, I want to spend every second of it with you. Will you marry me?”
You’re crying, laughing, smiling, grabbing at his face as you mumble yes over and over again.
He laughs, holding you close.
“You know,” you whisper shakily, “you’re really lucky I’m obsessed with you.”
“Obsessed?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Good,” he murmurs “Because I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since the convenience store.”
You freeze then slowly pull back.
“…What.”
Seungcheol immediately realizes his mistake but it’s too late. Your eyes widen dramatically.
“The convenience store?!”
His ears redden faintly.
You gasp loudly. “Oh my god you fell first”
“I’m recovering, be kind.”
“No absolutely not.”
You grab his face immediately “You were gone for the convenience store girl?”
He groans while you laugh helplessly. Sitting here in his apartment wrapped in morning light, your engagement ring warm on your hand while the man you love looks at you like surviving was worth it—
You realize something quietly wonderful.
You made it.
Against every terrifying possibility.
You made it back to each other.
=
One year later, somehow, the world still hasn’t slowed down for either of you.
Your schedules are still terrible. Your sleep schedules even worse.
There are still nights you come home with blood on your shoes and mornings Seungcheol leaves before sunrise without being able to tell you where he’s going.
Some things never change.
But now, now there’s always someone waiting at the end of it.
And that changes everything.
It’s been one year since the hospital room.
One year since the ring slid onto your finger in his apartment while he looked at you like surviving was the only option.
One year of learning each other’s rhythms completely.
Your toothbrush permanently beside his. His clothes somehow invading every corner of your shared apartment. Your coffee order already waiting before shifts.
His hand automatically finding yours whenever you walk beside each other.
Home becoming less a place and more a person.
Tonight you’re exhausted enough to hallucinate.
The ER was chaos from the second your shift started. You barely sat down once.
By the time you finally clock out close to midnight, your shoulders ache and your brain feels fried.
You’re half listening to one of the nurses complaining about a resident while walking toward the hospital exit when suddenly you stop.
Then immediately bolt “OH MY GOD—”
The nurse behind you yelps in shock as you sprint full speed across the parking lot “Doctor?!”
But you’re already gone. Because leaning casually against a black SUV under the parking lights is Seungcheol.
Freshly back from deployment.
Four weeks gone this time, dhorter than before. Still too long.
The second he sees you running toward him, his entire face softens and then you crash into him hard enough that he actually stumbles backward laughing.
“Hey—” “YOU’RE HOME.”
Your arms lock around his neck instantly while his wrap tight around your waist. Lifting you fully off the ground without effort.
You don’t even care that several nurses and staff definitely witnessed you abandoning professionalism entirely.
Let them.
Your fiancé is home.
Seungcheol buries his face briefly against your neck while holding you impossibly close.
God you missed him.
“You almost tackled me,” he murmurs against your skin
You finally pull back enough to look at him properly. Healthier this time. No visible injuries. No bandages hidden beneath clothes.
Just slightly longer hair, tired eyes, and the familiar warmth that settles in your chest every single time you see him.
Your hands immediately grab his face anyway
“You’re okay?”
Seungcheol smiles softly “I’m okay.”
You inspect him suspiciously “Any scratches?”
“Pretty girl—” “Answer carefully.”
He laughs quietly “No scratches.”
“Good”
Then you kiss him. Right there in the parking lot.
Like you physically cannot help yourself.
Seungcheol kisses you back instantly, one hand warm against your jaw while the other stays firm at your waist.
Somewhere nearby someone whistles loudly.
You break apart immediately glaring toward the hospital doors.
“Mind your business!”
The ER nurse cackles while disappearing back inside. Seungcheol laughs helplessly against your temple.
God, he missed this life.
Later, he drives you somewhere unexpected. A convenience store.
Specifically the convenience store. The one where this entire disaster started.
You stare at him as he parks “…Seriously?”
He shrugs innocently “You said you were hungry.”
“You’re sentimental.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“Correct.”
Now you both sit outside on the little plastic convenience store chairs under bright fluorescent lights.
If someone told either of you that that night was going to change both you’re lives, you wouldn’t believe it. But here you are now.
You’re wearing his hoodie over your scrubs while inhaling instant ramen like you haven’t eaten in years.
Seungcheol watches you with narrowing eyes
“How much ramen did you eat while I was gone?”
You freeze mid-slurp “…Normal amount.”
“Define normal.”
Silence. Seungcheol already looks unconvinced.
“Babe.”
You avoid eye contact aggressively
“Y/N.”
“…Enough.”
“How enough?”
You point your chopsticks at him accusingly
“First of all, your fault.”
“My fault you committed sodium crimes?”
“You stocked the pantry with ramen!”
“Emergency ramen.”
“Every ramen is emergency ramen when you work trauma.”
Seungcheol groans while rubbing his forehead
“Pretty girl, that cannot be healthy. You’re literally a doctor.”
You immediately defend yourself “I barely slept!”
“That’s not helping your argument.”
“You think after twenty hours I’m cooking vegetables?”
“Yes?”
“I could barely identify my own reflection.”
He stares at you in disbelief “So you just lived off ramen?”
You mutter into the cup quietly “…Maybe.”
“Yah.”
“What?!”
“Three weeks!”
“I added eggs sometimes!”
He shoots a fond but disappointed look “That’s not nutrition!”
“It’s garnish.”
Seungcheol looks genuinely distressed now meanwhile you continue eating shamelessly. Then suddenly his hand reaches over and wipes broth from the corner of your mouth with his thumb automatically.
The movement is so practiced now neither of you even pauses.
You look at him while chewing slowly
“…I missed you.”
His expression softens immediately “I know.”
“No, like seriously.” You slump dramatically against his shoulder afterward “I almost started talking to your plants.”
That makes him laugh, the sound still feels like home to you.
“It was dark times.”
You lean more comfortably against him while the cool night air settles around you. Cars pass occasionally. The convenience store doors slide open and shut every few minutes.
Nothing extraordinary and somehow that’s what makes it precious.
Because your lives are anything but ordinary.
Tomorrow you’ll both go back to chaos again. He’ll return to military briefings and dangerous assignments. You’ll return to trauma calls and impossible surgeries.
There will always be risk.
Always uncertainty.
But now there’s this too.
Plastic convenience store chairs at midnight. His hand resting warm on your thigh absentmindedly. Arguing over ramen like an old married couple.
Love woven quietly into ordinary moments between disasters.
Seungcheol suddenly glances at you.
“What?”
He studies your face for a second.
“Still ran toward me.”
Your brows lift slightly.
“Huh?”
“In the parking lot.” His thumb brushes lightly against your knee. “Every time I come back, you still look at me like that.”
Your chest squeezes immediately.
Because he says it like he’s still surprised, like some part of him still can’t fully believe someone waits for him this way.
You set your ramen down quietl before you lean over and kiss him once.
When you pull back, your forehead rests briefly against his.
“Captain, I would run through wars for you,” you whisper, giggling against his lips.
He chuckles, not doubting for a second you would. Just like he would, and always will.
Seungcheol looks at you silently afterward and even after everything he’s survived but nothing has ever hit him harder than that simple promise.
His hand lifts slowly, thumb brushing over your engagement ring glinting beneath the convenience store lights.
Then he smiles softly.
And sitting there beside him one year after everything almost ended, you realize this is what makes all the chaos survivable.
desc: it's day three of spring cleaning, and your boyfriend jeonghan has been banished to the sofa to halt his distractions...and he's not happy about it.
wc: 2k
𝄞: the sofa by wolf alice
notes: not beta'd, just a very fluffy drabble because i miss my beautiful sunshine boy :((
‘Baby, come here.’ Jeonghan pouted cutely, sulking on the living room sofa like a child as you continued to potter about.
Slyly, you eyed your boyfriend, squinting at his puffed-out cheeks and exaggerated pout; he did look very cute, but there was an entire list of things to be completed, and you refused to be coaxed into spending another day lying on the settee.
‘Baby,’ Jeonghan’s arms were up now, reaching towards your busy figure, rag in hand, rustling the dust off of the bookshelves.
‘Hannie.' Upon hearing the sternness decorating his favourite nickname, he flopped further into the cushions lazily.
Today was spring cleaning day — time to refresh the apartment for the warmth of the summer, the long days and humid nights, busy schedules and sticky bodies.
To be completely fair to your sulky boyfriend, he had done some jobs. He’d sifted through heinous amounts of PR packages, emptied his side of your shared wardrobe ready for summer clothes, and he even scrubbed at the entire bathroom.
But not without his very distracting and very regressive habits, a routine of procrastination masked as affection — relentless moaning that he needed a kiss after every single job and after four rounds of glum noises from your boyfriend, you’d oblige. Then, rather greedily, might you add, he’d urge for a hug.
This is where you always went wrong, helplessly yielding to his glistening eyes and upturned smile, which only allowed Jeonghan to rapidly sweep you up in an all-consuming movement that trapped your body in an enamouring embrace.
Under any other circumstances, you’d enjoy every moment of your boyfriend’s clinginess, especially when it was so rare. But the cuddles and kisses had stretched a house clean that should’ve taken a day into a three-day extravaganza.
Therefore, to end his tempting wrath, he had been banished to the sofa until you’d ticked off dusting from the ever-growing list.
The quiet hum of a Red Velvet song wafted through the TV as your boyfriend supervised your cleaning, huffing and puffing dramatically with each swipe of the cloth against the wood.
‘You don’t love me, right?’ There was a rustle of softened padding, and you could only assume Jeonghan had thrown his body down onto the sofa in a big, dramatic motion.
‘I love you very much, Hannie,’ You replied, refusing to face your boyfriend, as you used every piece of willpower you harboured to withhold from folding to your extra sulky, extra cute and extra dramatic boyfriend.
With a big swipe, dust flew into the air, dancing up your nostrils and tickling small sneezes from you.
‘Baby,’ Jeonghan stood, his voice lacking the sullen tone and instead, concern penetrating through the words — but you raised your hand, still sneezing a colony of dust out of your system as you signalled for him to pause.
‘I’m okay!’ You urged, shaking your head and turning towards Jeonghan, who cocked an eyebrow at you. Even as you rapidly blinked dust from your eyes and fanned it pathetically away from you, it was still riveting your nostrils.
‘Let me help you, baby,’ He said, but you shook your head vigorously. ‘Please?’
‘No no, you’ll distract me more,’ You told him, recovery from the sneeze attack allowing you to catch your breath for a moment.
Only a very minuscule part of Jeonghan actually had the intention to help; really, he was bored of being confined to the sofa and yearned for any excuse to get your undivided attention.
‘I won’t, I promise.’ He lied pathetically, and there was even a peek of a smile quirking on the corner of his lips that you saw straight through.
‘I can read you like a book, Yoon.’ You popped your hip, sharply eyeing him as his expression was twisted into a mixture of feigned offence and cockiness. ‘Verbal support from over there.’
‘God, I love it when you call me by my surname,’ he said, falling back onto the sofa in a manspread, head falling onto the back cushions as if it were hung in pleasure.
The sight of your boyfriend forced you to blink — his figure almost erotic when he sat like that, neck exposed, shoulder-length dark hair framing his defined cheekbones, thighs toned, tanned and open.
‘It’ll be your surname soon.’ He muttered, his eyes watching you closely as blush crawled up your face and you snapped your body back towards the dusty, neglected bookshelf.
‘Shut it, Yoon.’ You replied, and the cocky smirk that infiltrated his features could practically be heard in his small, hearty laugh.
Staying true to your wish, Jeonghan remained glued to the sofa, keeping his whining to a minimum as he curated a playlist of songs for you to clean to.
‘Honey, how long until it’s sofa time?’ He asked, and it was timid, with no hint of teasing or sulking, just pure sweetness that caresses your heartstrings.
‘Last shelf, baby.’ You answered, clambering onto a wooden chair to reach the absolute top of the bookshelves.
If you turned around, you knew Jeonghan would be watching every movement with a disapproving look, shaking his head at the varnished wooden chair and tutting at your very slippery but very comfortable fluffy socks.
And he really pondered: should he abide by your strict rules for him to remain on the sofa, confined like a puppy in a cage, or should he be a good boyfriend and ensure that if you slipped, the ground would not find you — his arms would.
Like an answer to his internal conflict, the pad of your foot slid an inch unexpectedly, making you grip the bookshelf in an attempt to steady yourself, but like it was his calling, Jeonghan had already shot across the room, strong fingers holding your waist for stability.
‘Sweetheart, you’re a liability.’ Jeonghan rasped, and his big espresso-brown eyes stared up at you, glazed over with something that landed between adoration and satisfaction.
‘You were supposed to stay on the sofa.’ You pouted, reaching the furthest corner. Jeonghan followed your movements skilfully, not allowing his hands to leave your waist for a split-second.
‘I’d be a bad boyfriend if I let you slip.’ Jeonghan said, and you couldn’t argue with that. With a small hum, you nodded, leaning onto the ball of one foot and stretching as far as you possibly could.
Silently, Jeonghan allowed you to finish, the victory line so close he could practically already feel your hands wrapping around him. Lightly smoothing the pads of his fingertips over your waist, tracing the curve of your spine as it twisted with your movement, he sighed contentedly.
‘Voila!’ You spun, almost toppling off the chair in the process as Jeonghan smoothly slid his arms around your thighs, sweeping you up in one movement, which had a high-pitched squeal escaping your mouth. ‘Hannie!’
‘About time.’ His chocolatey orbs levelled with yours, and he smiled with cocky satisfaction before dipping to plant a sweet kiss on your lips.
As always, his lips are warm and plush against yours, kissing with rehearsed expertise that only comes from years of kissing the same person.
It’s blissful how much his lips spark sweet endorphins to pump through you, dragging your fingers through his long hair as he begins to pepper small kisses all over your face.
‘Baby,’ you giggled at the tickle of his lips as he manoeuvred your bodies to the sofa, his kisses not halting until every inch of skin had been showered in affection, loud hearty laughs sprouting from your throat with each skin of his mouth against you.
Landing on his lap, Jeonghan cocooned your body into his with a hook of his chin on your shoulder, flattening his palms against the dips of your hips as he just feels you, feels the warm skin beneath him, feels the weight of your body on his lap, feels the tickle of your hair as it wisps by his nose.
‘Mmmm.’ A sound of contentment rumbled in his throat as he breathed you in, fluttering his eyelids shut in pure fulfilment, the feeling of your muscles relaxing underneath him like the cherry on top.
‘Let’s watch a movie,’ You mumbled into his hair, voice dipping to a tired husk that only Jeonghan’s arms can coax out of you.
The effect your boyfriend had on you was head-spinning, his touch melting every rational part of your brain and morphing it into a love machine especially built for him.
‘Okay baby, my choice.’ Your boyfriend agreed with a cheeky remark, running his fingers through the curled ends of your hair, the sensation stirring goosebumps along your skin.
At his statement, you nudge him lightly with your fingertip, poking his side in that way that made him squirm and almost buck you off of him.
‘Yah!’ He whined, gripping the spot you’d burrowed your finger into like he was cradling a bullet wound and not a brief poke.
With an awful attempt at concealing your cheeky look, tongue poking at the inside of your cheek as you met his wounded expression, a giggle threatened to erupt from you.
Your boyfriend looked too cute with a pout on his face, pink lips jutted out to display a pathetic pout, cheeks puffed out like he was threatening a strong exhale, gentle eyes big and doe in their fixed stare.
‘You are so adorable,’ you told him with a smile, your heart practically racing up your throat. ‘Maybe I should poke you more.’
Wiggling your slender fingers toward him, his expression sharpened like it was calculating exactly how to escape this situation — would he chuck you off, sprinting into the hallway, or would he attempt to poke you first?
Instead, in a flurry of unpredictable movement, he’d flipped you onto your back, skin meeting the plush of the cushions as he pinned you underneath him.
For a second, your eyes flicker downwards, raking along his body temptingly slow; however, before you can tug his lips down to yours, his hands are on you.
But it’s not pleasure that blooms, it’s chaos. Because Jeonghan was tickling you — finding that spot above your hip that forced almost violent squirms out of you, his legs on either side of your thighs subjecting you to his wrath.
Uncontrollable laughter leapt out of you in a muddled mess, body desperately attempting to escape his skilful fingers, yet he’s stronger, a wide grin bunching his cheeks and turning his eyes into joyful crescents as he succeeded in his mischief.
‘Jeonghan!’ You shouted, but the name is twisted into a half-laugh, half-exclamation that gets swallowed by a desperate inhale. ‘Baby! Please!’
For a split second, he halts, looking down at you. From an outsider's point of view, the scene was almost erotic: boyfriend straddling you, his hands trailing your body and you, breathless and panting, chest rising and falling rapidly.
But the illusion was shattered with his words. ‘My choice of film or more tickles.’
‘This feels like blackmail, Mr Yoon.’ You raised an eyebrow at the man above you, reaching for his wrists as if it would stop his tickles.
‘Maybe it is Mrs Yoon.’ He flirted overzealously, wiggling his eyebrows at the prospective title.
‘Now this feels like emotional manipulation, get off.’ Rolling your eyes playfully, he slid off of you and carefully pulled you into him, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head.
The rest of your lives could be spent on this sofa, lounging amongst one another without a second thought, in a tangle of limbs and sweet touches. There was no other place you felt so content apart from in Jeonghan’s arms, lazing together on a spring day.
‘I love you.’ You muttered against his shoulder, cheek pressed into the curve as your eyes followed his choice of film.
Silently, he peppered a light kiss onto your parting, ‘I love you.’
genre fluff, short au | starring boyfriend!seungcheol x gn!reader | warnings|contains pouty and shy cheol | wc 0.4k | status proofread | masterlist | jho's notes. cheol's pout might be the greatest thing god created + his dimples
you weren't even trying to catch it. someone screamed, someone shoved and the next thing you knew, the bride's bouquet landed directly in your hands.
you stared at the flowers in your hand with shock, slowly blinking. a few people clapped, someone whistled— but the moment didn't fully hit you until you turned around and saw seungcheol.
he was standing near the back of the crowd, completely frozen. hands stuffed into the pockets of his slacks, shoulders tense, eyes slightly wide and lips parted in a small, helpless pout— like he'd just witnessed his own surprise proposal.
beside him joshua was bent over laughing, seungkwan slapping his arm like he'd just hit the jackpot. you watched as joshua leaned in and whispered something in seungcheol's ear— whatever it was, it made his ears turn red instantly.
you bit your lip and held up the bouquet in his direction, trying— and failing— to hide the massive smile threatening to take over your entire face.
he looked at it, then at you still frozen in his place. a deep sigh escaped his lips as he finally moved, walking toward you at a pace like a man heading into his own wedding completely unprepared. when he finally reached you, he didn't say a word— he just kept looking at the bouquet, and then at you.
"i didn't even want to catch it" you teased, barely containing your laughter. he squinted at you, crealy not buying a single word, "sure, you just accidentally manifested it the all day long"
you giggled as he stepped closer, one arm slipping around your waist as his forehead fall against your shoulder with a dramatic groan. "they're never gonna shut up about this" he mumbled into your collarbone, you could feel the smile forming against your shoulder.
"good" you whispered, grin widening, "you look cute when you panic" he whined, then peeked up at you with the saddest, most drammatic expression ever. you tucked a hand into his hair, brushing your fingers through it slightly.
"you know i'd marry you tomorrow, right?" he muttered under his breath. you blinked, stunned for a second making him panicking instantly. "wait, i didn't mean— like, unless you want to" you kissed his cheek before he could melt completely into the floor.
his hand tightened around your waist, grounding himself again. you could feel the heat still raising in his ears, the tension easing out of his body with your touch. after a moment, you said softly "well, you'd make a cute groom"