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i should bE ALLOWED TO FUCK THE PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT OF THE ETERNAL TIMESTREAM AS RAW AND NASTY AS I WANT TO! I WILL NOT BE HELD BACK BY WEAK MINDED IDIOTS WHO BELIEVE THAT I'M "nOt ReAdY fOr ThE cOnSeQuEnCeS oF bEiNg A mOtHeR tO a NeW rEaLiTy" WHEN I LITERALLY PULL OUT
c!wilbur gets a hand on that little cross necklace c!quackity has. and uses it as a chew stim toy
ough........shadowsight.........
50000 likes!
yes bitch! 💥🌈😈🎉
the world is my. ... uhhh. oyster...
Halloween was last month? Damn it feels like it was yesterday
tips to writing romance
SO
heres what I learned after a quick trip to the hole-in-the-wall book store and a peruse around the romance section...
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS KATIES TIPS TO WRITING ROMANCE NOVELS
1. savage ecstasy - is good!
2. all love must be wild and savage - civilized love = bad
3. all book covers must contain (one) steroid pumped muscle man and (one) swooning female, preferably with long flowing hair and eyes graced with lust
4. arranged marriages? you fucking bet
5. use these words at least once on the back or front cover - love, ecstasy, passion, lust, savage, kiss, sensual, and fury.
6. make sure that the male is somehow touching the females leg on the cover. if there is no leg touch, you are doing something wrong.
7. all men are horrific savages. it takes the healing touch of a gorgeous woman to fix this. emphasize this repeatedly.
8. stories must take place in the past, popular settings include - rugged Scotland, pre-settler age America, or castles.
9. everybody must have green eyes. any other eye color is unacceptable and unsexy.
10. kilts are greatly appreciated!
11. falling in love at first sight is mandatory - if love is not initiated at first sight, burn book and try again.
12. a woman??? as a dom??? absolutely preposterous.
13. try to include as little clothing as possible - the more shirtless, the better!
14. if the mans pectoral muscles are larger than the woman's breasts, your romance novel is unfit for shelves.
15. that's about it!! have fun destroying everything you hold dear and brutally murdering your sense of reality
real friendship is being willing to make out with someone to piss off homophobes
