It’s Just A Little White Lie
Summary: Everything had been going so well for Lodec lately. It only made logical sense that everything went horribly, horribly wrong at once.
Notes: Written for @fangirltothefullest with permission. This was supposed to be less than 2K words, what happened
Note the trigger warnings, here, guys: Blood, broken bones, torture, choking, restraints, electrocution, panic attacks, mentions of child murder
Please enjoy!
Everything had been going so well for me lately. It only made logical sense that everything went horribly, horribly wrong at once. The day started like normal— well, my new normal, at least— with me being woken up by a loud crash from downstairs. Most likely Vercei or Virgil had knocked something over. With sleep a lost cause at this point, I climbed out of my bed and tried to get started on my morning routine. I spent my normal allotted time of fifteen minutes ensuring that my hair was presentable and that my clothes were perfectly neat. As the final touch, I slid my sea-foam-tinted glasses onto my face and exited my room, bracing myself for the chaos that I knew would await me.
I was correct in my assumptions. Virgil and Vercei were once again wrestling around on the floor, and the remnants of one of someone’s mugs littered the floor nearby, a testament to their ongoing battle. I carefully sidestepped the mess; neither of them noticed me as I silently made my way into the kitchen. I found a pot of tea still warm on the stove, and discovered it was Earl Grey upon inspection. Satisfied, I grabbed my pine-cone-themed mug and poured myself some tea before contemplating what I should do next. Should I sit at the kitchen table and wait for the others, inevitably ending up socializing? Should I go and ensure that Virgil and Vercei did not cause more destruction in the midst of their tousle? Should I go find another person and just spend time with only them? Or should I retreat to my room and spend the day reading in solitude?
My dilemma was answered for me, however, when Progic swept into the kitchen. The second his eyes landed on me and a wildfire began to burn even deeper in their depths, I knew I was in trouble.
“Ah! Lodec! Just the person I wanted to find!” Progic sang, clapping one of his hands on my shoulder. I flinched a bit, still not used to friendly contact after years of torment or shunning.
What do you need me for? I signed. Progic sighed and removed his hand from my shoulder, a flicker of something I couldn’t identify swimming in the depths of his blue-red eyes.
“Moric, Viran, and I were going to head out for a fun day, and we were wondering if you’d like to join us,” Progic offered, a small smile gracing his face. I bit my lip and pondered the offer. On the one hand, I didn’t have any issues with any of those Progic had mentioned. On the other, I hadn’t left the house, out of both fear of judgement and fear of harming others. Would this little excursion be worth it?
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to!” Progic quickly added on, noticing my slight… hesitancy. “We all just thought… you know, the fusions containing Logic… could all hang out for a bit, you know?” I bit my lip and contemplated it for another few seconds before lifting my hands.
I will join you. It sounds interesting. Progic breathed out a sigh of relief at my answer before grinning.
“Great! We’re leaving in half an hour. Make yourself presentable. We’re all wearing different clothes.” With that, Progic ruffled my hair and left, humming to himself under his breath. I just stood there like an idiot, trying to process what had just happened and figure out what exactly I had just agreed to. I wandered back up to my room after finishing my tea, lost in a fog. I had willingly agreed to go out in public. Without Patteit. Where I could be judged by normal people. I locked the door behind me and inhaled deeply through my nose before slowly letting the coolish air out. I couldn’t focus on that right now. Right now, I could focus on getting ready. I glanced down at my usual attire and cringed as I thought of the reactions I’d get. The cloak was… a bit too morbid. And I looked entirely too much like an undertaker with the rest of the outfit. Perhaps… a change for today’s excursion? I went to my closet and riffled through my clothing, trying to choose what to wear. Everything I owned was either too formal or too disturbing. I finally found acceptable clothing, though, and I let out a shaky smile. I would look like a fool, but at least I probably wouldn’t scare anyone.
A knock at my door half an hour later roused me from my preparations. I fixed my glasses one more time before opening the door, squeezing my eyes shut as I braced myself for judgement.
“Aw, Lodec! Is that the sweater I made you for Christmas?” Moric’s soft voice asked. I opened my eyes a sliver to see Moric beaming at me, obviously pleased to see that I actually wore his Christmas sweater. The large yet soft sweater in shades of heather greys and blues offered me a comfort that I hadn’t expected, and when paired with a pair of worn jean shorts, I felt more at peace than I had in awhile. I had somehow found a set of blue and grey striped knee-high socks to pair with the sweater, and had managed to dig out a set of black high top Converse to complete the outfit. Overall, I looked ridiculous, but my nerves had been soothed a bit. Honestly, I don’t remember how most of this made its way into my closet. Magic, probably, or Patteit attempting to make sure I had non-formal things in my closet.
Yes it is, I signed in response to Moric. Then, hesitantly: Is this outfit… acceptable?
“Acceptable? No, not yet,” Moric answered. My heart hammered in my chest, but Moric held up a finger for me to wait before vanishing back into his room. He came back a few seconds later, a pair of black suspenders in his hand. He shoved them in my direction, beaming. “Put these on, then it’s perfect.” I did, confused and a little touched. Moric was lending me his suspenders. He never let people touch his clothing. When I was done, Moric cocked his head to the side, grin wider than I’d ever seen it. “Do you have everything? Phone, keys in case you want to come back early, wallet, all that stuff?” I nodded, and Moric beamed before grabbing my hand. “Great! Let’s go then!” With that, he dragged me out of my room and down the stairs, leaving me confused and slightly terrified of the others’ judgement. Moric was known for his… questionable… fashion sense, and what would the others say?
“Oh! He’s actually coming! Hi Lodec! Love the outfit! It looks really comfy,” Viran called as soon as Moric and I came into view of he and Progic. Viran was wearing his usual outfit, not surprising, but Progic surprised me. Gone were the lab coat and goggles and heeled boots; instead, Progic had opted for something that looked closer to normal. He wore a collared button-up rolled up to his elbows, black skinny jeans, and combat boots. Instead of his usual goggles, sunglasses rested atop his head, and I wasn’t sure if he was wearing makeup or if I was imagining it, but his top two eyes seemed to pop even more than usual.
Thank you, Viran, I signed, hoping that Viran actually knew sign. I was in the process of teaching Patteit, but I knew that Moric, Vercei, Progic, Moxie, and Creaity knew it. Could Viran understand me?
“No prob, L,” Viran shrugged, adjusting his tie nervously. I noticed that he was wearing a bow tie instead of a normal tie, and my heart swelled with… something. If Viran was willing to step outside his comfort zone, even a little, why shouldn’t I?
“Well, then, shall we get this show on the road? There’s this great open-air market that I think we all may enjoy checking out. What do you all say?” Progic loudly asked, clapping two of his hands together. Viran and I both jumped at the sudden loud noise, and Progic winced. “Sorry Viran, sorry Lodec.” We managed to get out the door without any other mishaps, and that is when I realized that we would be driving. In a car. I hadn’t ever seen or been in any of the cars in Moric’s world, and I was eager to experience it for myself.
“Excited, you dork?” Viran asked, noticing my relaxed posture. I nodded, two of my hands squeezing together to try and still the tremors. Moric and Progic wouldn’t want to hear all of my questions (well, hear wasn’t perhaps the right word here) and honestly? It wasn’t that important in the grand scheme of things. Something flashed through Viran’s violet-blue eyes and he squeezed my shoulder. “Hey, Moric and Progic will listen to whatever you want to ask or say. Don’t worry about it so much.” I nodded, not quite believing Viran’s words, and his lips pursed before he called “Hey, Progic? Wanna explain the combustion engine to Lodec?” Progic spun around, his eyes lit up, and proceeded to rattle off facts about how cars on Moric’s world worked at 100 kilometers per hour. The ride into town was much more enjoyable, and I actually got to learn quite a bit about how transportation in this world worked. We arrived in town fairly quickly, and Progic only stopped his excited babbling when we entered the market, instead letting Moric take over showing me all the fruits, vegetables, and food that I didn’t have back on my homeworld. Moric finally managed to convince me to buy something small, a thin gold chain with a dark blue sapphire and gold pendant, and we had to practically drag Progic away from the market before he bought everything in sight.
Lunch was the biggest test of my nerves and ability to pretend to not be terrified of people. I wished I hadn’t agreed to this. Plants were so much easier to deal with when compared to people. Viran seemed to agree, and gently offered a hand for me to hold, which I took gratefully. It was nice to know I wasn’t the only one struggling, and offering Viran support while he gave me the support I silently needed was… comforting. Progic and Moric chose this nice diner and managed to get the four of us a corner booth, something that I greatly appreciated. Unsurprisingly, Progic and Viran ordered coffee, while I ordered Darjeeling tea and Moric ordered green tea while we waited for our food. The waiter gave me a long look filled with… something… when he handed me my tea, but I judged it as ultimately nothing.
That was my first mistake. The glance should have been my first warning sign. The second mistake I made, the second warning sign I ignored, was the surprisingly bitter undercurrent in my tea. I waved it off, however, and dumped more sugar into it. Perhaps the tea had just been steeped for too long. The third warning sign I ignored was the lack of other people in our area of the restaurant. Not only were we seated alone in a back room, the door to the rest of the restaurant seemed to be closed as well. I must have been losing my touch.
Throughout our conversation as we waited for our food to arrive, I found myself growing groggier and groggier. This confused me. I knew I had gotten the optimal amount of sleep the night before, so why was I on the verge of passing out?
“Hey, Lodec. Lodec, buddy, can you open your eyes for me?” I managed to make out before fading out again. Scuffling, shouting, the thump of bodies hitting the floor. All faded in and out. Should I care? I thought I should care.
“-do to him-” “-n’t touch him! I’ll ki-” “-f you lay a hand on him-” I recognized the voices, but I couldn’t find the energy to sit up or see who it was. I surrendered to the cool inky blackness of sleep, wondering if I should actually be concerned but not having any energy left to care.
I woke up slowly, my mind still foggy. My tongue lay heavy in my mouth, and I could barely feel my limbs.
Well, correction. I could barely feel my limbs until one of my arms was snapped like a twig. That immediately woke me up the rest of the way, and if I had had functioning vocal chords, I would have been screaming. My teeth ground together as I tried to stifle the pain, and I felt tears leaking out of my eye.
“Ah, good. You’re awake. Now, we can really get started,” an unfamiliar voice drawled above me. I lifted my hands to sign, maybe to ask about what was going on, maybe to start trying to get help, but my hands were immediately yanked back down to my sides by something cold, heavy, and tight. A low, sinister chuckle twisted its way into my ears, a shiver racing down my spine at the sound. A rustle of cloth came from right above my head, and a warm, calloused hand rested itself on my forehead. I flinched. The hand slammed my head back into the table, and I choked slightly on something cold and tight and heavy constricting my neck. I stared up into a set of cold, hard emeralds, and my stomach sank even further. I knew the look in those orbs. I could figure out what was coming next.
“You killed my daughter, you monster. Now, I’m going to do to you what you did to her.” I opened my mouth (useless, why is that still an instinct in my stupid, useless, worthless body), maybe to ask why, maybe to beg for forgiveness, maybe to ask about their daughter, when my limbs seized up and pain became my whole being. Fire raced through my veins, my spine, my muscles, my nerves. White filled my vision, spots of black dancing and weaving in hypnotic swirls. My broken arm shrieked with every thrash of my body, and I dimly registered warm, thick, viscous fluids running across my skin to drip off the edge of my fingers. Ice and fire battled for dominance in my body, and I was quickly becoming the loser in this scenario. It would have been so easy for me to slip away, to surrender to the alluring siren song of inky darkness, but something, some small flicker of fire in my soul, kept me from giving in. I was still losing, though. Losing the fight between the ice and fire, losing the fight to stay awake, losing the fight to stay out of the dark, losing the fight to still have hope. A distant part of me giggled in vindictive glee. This is what you get, it whispers, for tormenting all those people. Soon, though, even that voice was wiped away and the only thing left was an endless litany of thoughts:
Make it stop, I’m sorry, it hurts, I’m sorry, make it stop, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…
A loud crash, the sound of glass shattering, yelling, screaming, a wet thwack, a cool, soothing hand on my face. Voices, all jumbled together, two frantic sets of hands working on my wrists and ankles while another hand smooths itself through my hair. The touch burns and I contemplated asking the person to stop, but at the same time it felt so good and I was tired. I felt my arms fall limply towards the floor as they were freed, and my whole body almost followed before I was roughly stopped by the cold heavy thing around my neck. The jumbled voices all picked up in tempo and pitch (panic, a little voice whispered, they’re worried about you) and the set of hands that had been in my hair moved to my face, softly wiping away warm liquid. More scuffles and yelling came from somewhere far away, and after a few moments of that, the pressure around my neck was released and I felt myself being carefully lifted into the air before the person carrying me began to walk. I managed to last for one step before the burning pain in my arm won and I succumbed to the sweet release of unconsciousness.
“What exactly happened to him– them– her– whatever?”
“We don’t need to think about that right now, guys. What matters is being here for… him… when he wakes up.”
“I’m going to track down the people who did this to him and murder them all in their sleep.”
“Violence is not the answer here, Roxas…”
“Of course it is! I don’t care how justified they thought they were! He was forced to do that shit, he didn’t want to! Plus, that’s no excuse to do… to do… that!”
I cracked my eyes open, having been awoken by the whispers that had quickly morphed into yelling. I couldn’t quite place who the voices belonged to, but I cared more about figuring out my surroundings at the moment. I tried to sit up to get a better assessment; my torso and three of my arms protested heavily, and I let out an involuntary air-whimper at the scorching heat racing through my midsection. The voices immediately stopped talking, and I felt a rush of displaced air as multiple people came to stand by my side. I opened my eyes the rest of the way, taking a few moments to allow them to adjust to the light. The blood rushed out of my cheeks the second my brain began to register what my eyes were seeing, and my breathing became a fast staccato, causing my ribs to squeal in pain.
My family. My family was here, in my room (I’d managed to register that this was my room through the growing panic… somehow), in another world, staring at me. My family was here, waiting for me to wake up. My family was here, and now they could find out exactly how much of a monster I’d become.
“Hey… Lodec, right? How you doing, buddy?” T asked, smiling down at me. My throat clenched tighter and I began to shake, my legs curling up in front of my chest in an effort to appear smaller and defend my torso. My heart hammered in my chest and warm, wet tracks of liquid began to stream down my face as my tremors increased in frequency and violence.
“Lodec? Buddy? I need you to look at me, okay?” T firmly requested, hands reaching out to rest on my shoulders. I flinched back, overwhelmed. They were all secretly judging me, they all hated me, they couldn’t be here I couldn’t deal with them being here they needed to know that I was sorry and that I didn’t want them to hurt me so please just leave me alone make it stop I’m sorry everything is too much I’m sorry please give me space I can’t breathe I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…
Someone quickly, gently, firmly grabbed my only non-injured hand and wrapped it between their two large, warm hands. I flinched, warm salty tracks racing even faster down my face.
“Lodec. Sweetie. I need you to calm down and speak up,” P murmured, releasing one of his hands from mine to wipe the tears off of my face. “What’s going on?” This tender statement just made me cry harder. I couldn’t fulfill his request. I was a failure. This was just another hint of the monster that I’d become. P tried to soothe me, but I just shook my head and kept crying, the hand held in Patton’s grip twitching into half-hearted signs of my thought process. I felt someone leave the room and my sobs renewed themselves as I buried as far under my blankets as I could. They’d abandoned me. They’d realized how awful and truly despicable I’d become and had left me.
I sensed two bodies slip into the room, and one of them came to sit right next to me. I buried my head deeper into my knees against my chest, and I felt a light tapping on my head.
Lodec, it’s Moric, the person tapped out in Morse code. I shakily pulled my hand out of P’s grip and weakly signed, I’m sorry I lost your suspenders. And the sweater you made me. Moric made a choking noise and managed to croak out, “It’s just a pair of suspenders, Lodec. I can always get new ones. Plus, I was meaning to make you a new sweater anyway.” I glanced up to meet Moric’s eyes through my watery gaze to find him smiling kindly down at me.
If you’re sure… I signed. Moric huffed and signed back, Of course. You’re much more important than a few pieces of clothing. I let out a shaky, watery grin at that, and Moric beamed before opening his arms slightly as an invitation for a hug. I slowly sank into it and allowed Moric to calm me down in that magic way of his, with his soothing words and terrible jokes and warmth. I felt my family watching, but I tried to ignore them, far more focussed on Moric at this point.
Finally, he pulled away and turned to face my family. “Let’s get started, shall we? Anything you have to say to Lodec?” R, ever the bold one, figuratively stepped forward first.
“Lolo. Dorian. None of us have any idea what happened to you two after you were taken away. None of us ever expected to see you two again. But we’d just like you two to know that we care, and we’re here for you, and that I will hunt down the people who just fucking tortured you because that was not okay.”
“Roxas,” V groaned, rolling their eyes, before they fixed me with their piercing glare. It had somehow become more intimidating than I remember it being. “Lolo. Dorian. Or Lodec. Whichever you prefer to be addressed as. I’m with Roxas on this one in that we care, we’re here for you, and that those people had no right to kidnap and torture you. However, I would like to hear the full story from you.” I flinched but nodded slightly, and V nodded in acknowledgement before turning the conversation over to P.
He (they? She?!) leaned forward and grabbed my hand again. Moric looked about ready to jump in and help me out, but I shook my head to make him back off. “Lodec,” P began. “I’m worried for you. I want the best for you. And honestly? I want you to come home. But if that is going to be bad for you, then I want you to stay here. We were all just worried about you, sweetie.” I felt more tears welling up in my eyes, and Moric reached over to brush them away before I turned to look at T, who was giving me a look full of love and warmth and acceptance.
“Lodec. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through. The others have basically summed everything up perfectly, but all I have to say is this: You will always, and I mean always, have a place in this family. In almost any case, we’d embrace you, and I promise you, no one here hates you or will ever hate you. Got it?” I nodded, and Moric smiled softly at my family before turning to me.
“You have anything to say?” he asked quietly, eyes soft behind his heart-shaped glasses. I took a deep breath and nodded, lifting my one working hand, and began to sign.
“I don’t think I’m ready to tell you about what happened to me when I was taken,” Moric translated, “and I’m not sure if I ever will be. Thank you for caring about me, but I don’t think I’ll be coming back with you. You wouldn’t like the person you’d find after a while.” I lowered my hand, convinced that that was the end of the conversation, when V stood up and glared at me.
“Yeah, no,” they hissed. “That’s not gonna cut it. I want to know exactly what caused you to end up strapped to a madman’s torture table with him accusing you of killing his daughter.” They started to stalk towards me, and I shrunk back against the headboard, feeling extremely cornered and panicked. Moric stood up and placed himself between V and I, arms crossed and a frown adorning his face. “What happened, Lolo? What happened to you?”
Memories flashed through my brain and across my eyes as I tried desperately to put as much space between V and I as possible. The guards, the soldiers, marching into the camp, the shocks, the burns, the pain, the people, all those people and the children dear stars the children were the worst and he just wanted it all to stop stoP STOP STOP S T O P…
Ripping, tearing, burning, a scream, and then everything just… stopped.
Dorian groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. He felt like he'd been run over by a tank. It took him a moment to realize that he was Dorian and not Lodec, and that sent him into a panic. Where was Lolo?
That question was answered extremely quickly when Dorian’s ears started to work. The sound of panicked breathing came from his left, and he looked over to find Lolo curled up into a little ball rocking back and forth. Dorian quickly scrambled over, hissing as he accidentally put pressure on his broken arm. He ignored the pain; Lolo was more important. He reached his… person… and gently placed his unbroken arm on one of Lolo’s shoulders.
“Hey, Lolo, could you please look at me?” Dorian murmured, gently rubbing Lolo’s shoulder. Lolo finally looked up, sniffing, tears streaming down his face. A rustle of fabric came from behind Dorian, accompanied by an opening and closing of the door. Someone must have left, but Dorian couldn’t bring himself to care; Lolo was infinitely more important. Dorian began to softly hum, some old, nameless tune that he heard somewhere and had remembered. Lolo slowly relaxed a bit, his tears slowing but not stopping, and Dorian almost spiraled back into a panic. How was he supposed to help?!
That question was answered for him with the appearance of Viran and the reappearance of Moric, the latter of which went to shepherd their family out of the room. Viran, meanwhile, crouched down next to Lolo and smiled softly.
“Hey, buddy. Heard it’s been a rough day,” Viran murmured. Lolo nodded, and Viran pulled his hoodie from around his waist and handed it to Lolo. In response to his confused look, Viran explains: “For if you don’t think you can fuse back right now, it’s something to comfort you at least.” Lolo sniffed and pushed it back at Viran, standing up on wobbly legs and walking towards Dorian.
“I… shall we try?” Lolo mumbled, his voice still clogged with tears. Dorian nodded and gently took Lolo’s hand, allowing the sensation of fusion to wash over him as…
I woke with a start to find Viran giving me a concerned, caring look while he tied his hoodie around his waist. “You good now, Lodec?” Viran asked softly. I nodded and, after a moment of contemplation, lifted my one unbroken arm to sign Thank you. “No problem,” Viran replied, shrugging. “You wanna go down and talk to your family or no?” My breath caught in my throat at the mention of them, and Viran tensed up again, probably thinking that he’d done something horribly, horribly wrong.
You’re fine, Viran, I’m just… let’s get this over with, I signed, frantic to soothe Viran’s anxieties. Viran relaxed a bit, but instead of being anxious, he was now clearly in protection mode.
“Lodec. Are you sure?” I nodded, and he sighed heavily before walking over to the door and opening it, gesturing for me to go downstairs. I followed the cryptid-hunter down the stairs to find Patteit and Anvity glaring down my family.
“I’m sorry, but why would you think that demanding he tell you every little detail about his trauma is okay?!” Anvity was yelling, his voice edging on a roar. I trembled a bit, but Viran squeezed my shoulder in support. I took a deep breath and entered the room. Anvity stopped yelling the second he saw me and almost seemed to deflate a bit, his hands twitching in an aborted movement towards me. V noticed and turned around, guilt swirling in their violet eyes.
“You doing better, Lo?” they whispered, causing the rest of my family to spin around. I nodded, and V nodded, and both of us seemed to instantly come to some form of understanding. My one functioning arm lifted to sign, maybe to explain, maybe to apologize, when Patteit also noticed me and practically vaulted over the couch to tackle me into a hug.
“You’re awake and alive and I’m so happy I’m sorry I wasn’t there to get you are you okay,” they rushed out with one head (obviously Truther), as the other head was too preoccupied with sobbing their eyes out. I hugged back and gave both heads a short kiss before wriggling my one good arm free and signing You’re fine, I’m okay, I love you too. They giggled and pulled away from the hug after one last squeeze, obviously mindful of my ribcage.
“Erm… what did he just say?” R broke in, confusion colouring his voice. My blood chilled a bit. Of course. Of course my family didn’t understand sign, I would have to unfuse to communicate, oh stars…
“Need a translator?” Viran offered, leaning against the couch. Tears of love and joy leaked from my eye and I nodded, beginning to slowly sign what had happened after I had been cruelly taken away. They all listened to Viran’s translation, and when he and I both began to falter as I began to explain Gancei, Anvity took over, his smooth British lilt taking some of the edge off of the horrifying things I described. Eventually, I finished, and silence descended upon the room. P, R, and T all stood up, but V beat them to my position. I barely even had time to blink before the anxious side pulled me into a tight hug. I let out a surprised huff, and then my family all rushed in to join the hug, leaving me hopelessly confused and crying in the centre of this pile of love and affection. I felt my hand signing the same thing over and over and over again, and Viran leaned over to whisper what it meant into T’s ear. He let out a watery grin and simply said, “We love you too, Lo.”
Somehow we ended up on the ground, still hugging, and my tears were finally starting to slow. The rest of my fam-friends had been giving us space, something I much appreciated. Finally, I started to try and wriggle out of the pile, and my family released me, understanding that I wanted out.
“So… we’re going to need some time to process, sweetie…” P murmured. My heart climbed its way into my throat, but V jumped in to soothe my worries.
“We’ll be back in like, two weeks, okay? Just giving you some space and time, and then we can have a proper chat about where to go from here, okay?” I nodded, and my family all stood up to give some tearful goodbyes before leaving me alone. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, and I glanced back to see Patteit, smiling sadly.
“Hey, sweetie, how you doing?” Truther whispered. I quickly signed back Okay, and their arms wrapped a little tighter around me. “We’ve got something for you in your room, when you feel ready to come up.” I pushed myself to my feet and gave Patteit a shaky smile, curious as to what could possibly be waiting for me. Most likely nothing too bad; I couldn’t see anyone in this house being purposefully cruel to me. I followed Patteit up to my room and braced myself before opening my door.
Progic was the first to look up when I entered, a small smile dimpling his cheeks when he saw me. “Hey, Lo, how you feeling?” he asked, his normal boisterous tone missing from his voice. I shrugged, and he nodded in understanding. Moric gave me a soft smile and two thumbs up as I walked in, while Viran fidgeted with a lump of black fluff in his lap. Probably one of his guinea pigs.
“Erm… Lodec… we have… someone we’d like you to meet,” Viran mumbled before standing up and presenting me with the ball of black fluff. My breath hitched as I stared into the wide green eyes of the small kitten. My good arm twitched out, some instinct whispering that I should pet the kitten, and Viran’s face broke into a tiny grin.
“Her name is Sasha,” Viran whispered. I nodded, and Viran walked closer. “She’s yours.” I paused, blinking. I… had a cat? I couldn’t have a cat. Living things were not for me to take care of. All I knew was how to destroy life, not cultivate it. Well, unless it was plants. But I couldn’t be trusted with a cat!
“You’ll do fine, Lodec. If you need help, we’re here. She just reminded all of us of you, and you’re always talking about how much you love cats, so we all figured… sorry, it’s a stupid idea, don’t think anything of it,” Viran rambled, starting to retract the set of arms holding the kitten. I shot my hand out and wrapped it around his wrist, already signing No, wait, it’s okay, I love her, thank you. Viran paused and giggled a little before gently settling Sasha into my arms. I panicked, scared I would drop her or break her or harm her in some way, but Moric murmured “You’re not going to break her, Lodec, it’s okay” from behind me, in that Soothing Dad Voice that worked wonders whenever he chose to use it. I settled down a little, still tense, and allowed Sasha’s purring to soothe the rest of my nerves.
“We’re here, Lodec. We’ll figure all of this out,” Progic stated firmly, a fire shining deep in his eyes. I nodded, tears clogging my throat, feeling the love and support of my second family surrounding me. I knew I couldn’t escape my past. I knew I couldn’t even begin to make up for the horrible things that I’d done. But here, in this moment, at least for a little bit, everything was perfect.
Notes: Thank you for reading! A special thank you again to Tashi for letting me torture her wonderful fusions :) Please go show her some love, and I’ll see you next time!
@ask-the-fusions I seriously hope you liked this, Star and Tashi~
