My Taylor/Gaylor journey:
Taylor fan since Tim McGraw! Grew up on country radio and absolutely fell in love with her as a kid.
Came out as a lesbian myself in 2011. Cried to Speak Now about a girl I liked, but didn’t wonder if Taylor might be gay too.
In fact, I had no questions about Taylor’s sexuality until she glued herself to Karlie.
Became a staunch Kaylor after VSFS 2014. Was an avid follower of TTB starting in Rep era, fully believed all of Taylor’s public relationships were beards and that Karlie wasn’t actually married to Josh.
Felt AMAZING that Taylor was a lesbian like me. Felt less alone because of it.
Devoured all the gaylor content I could find. All the timelines remain stamped in my brain.
During this time though, I got obsessed with “catching” her in “lies” and generally got swept up into the holier-than-thou attitudes of kaylorism. I felt angry at Taylor for making us look foolish when I felt like “we” knew her better than her other fans.
Expected her to come out during Lover era. My enjoyment of the album was clouded by resentment.
Expected Folklore to be a coming-out album. Felt personally hurt when it wasn’t.
After listening to Folklore, decided Taylor and Karlie had broken up after a six year relationship.
Struggled with feeling angry and conflicted when she gave Joe a Grammy.
Any mention of Joe or any of her boyfriends negatively impacted me, more seriously than I care to admit.
Began to let go of Kaylor during Midnights—that album did not feel like Karlie to me. That gave me the space to start questioning. Decided that Joe was probably a real boyfriend, but I wasn’t sure. Still felt she was bisexual and preferred women, but stopped reading and watching any gaylor-related content, because I started to see how the connections being made were unrealistic.
Started mood stabilizers between Midnights and TTPD. As I became more balanced, I started to question why I ever thought Taylor was a gold-star lesbian. The blogs I had once thought were “insiders” or Taylor herself began to look like ramblings of mad cult leaders. I’m still a bit ashamed to say I shed some tears over it.
Struggled with shame, embarrassment, and disappointment that I had poured so many hours into a conspiracy.
Fully let go of Kaylor during TTPD. I was ready to meet Taylor where she actually was, ready to listen without trying to catch her out, and it felt great. The authenticity of the Joe-to-Matty pipeline felt so clear and relatable to me, and there was simply no way to make it gay.
Let myself be excited about a guy she was dating for the first time when she showed up at Arrowhead. It was the first time I had seen her with a guy that didn’t come with a sense of bitter, crushing disappointment.
Loved TLOAS.
Loved TLOAS on first listen more than I’ve loved a Taylor album on first listen since getting into gaylor.
Now, I actually enjoy Taylor’s work again. I don’t idolize her—she’s a rich girl at the end of the day, you know?—but I can enjoy the spectacle of her life without pretending it’s all some huge performance-art lie.
I wanted to start this blog because I think the wedding is going to cause ripples in the late-stage Kaylor space, and I wished that I had had someone when I left Kaylor to accept me, and tell me it was okay to have been wrong without making fun of me. So:
No matter how long you were a Kaylor, it’s okay. I remember the comfort it brought me. I don’t judge you.
Our brains are made for finding patterns. This kind of thinking can happen to anyone.
It’s okay!
