GBBO 2016
1) I might have cried. Just a bit. When Candice said that she finally realised she was good, she did okay, and she was all wobbly because, fuck it all, that spoke to me like nothing else. That’s how I’d react, albeit with a lot more swearing.
2) #selandrew <3 Selasi wanted Andrew to win! I’m so involved with their sweet bromance there.
3) Jane and Candice going on a baking holiday. They’re such an awesome pair, and I’m so happy they’ve become fast friends. Jane’s like her really quite posh auntie, who indulges her niece, and it’s wonderful.
4) Lots of shots of fleek brows and lipstick. Make up porn.
5) I knew the moment Andrew said his weighing the eggs method for Victoria Sponge that it was going to be a triumph. That’s my Mum’s method. She made the most epic sponges in the world. Bless you Mum.
6) Mary Berry. Gorgeous woman.
7) Andrew’s little face when his bakes didn’t go to plan made me want to grab him unto my bosom and tell him he’s beautiful. Because, fuck it, he is.
8) Andrew in shorts. Enid Blyton schoolboys live in 2016.
9) Hands has given me a list of things I need to bake. This includes a meringue monstrosity filled with strawberries, and Candice’s black pudding sausage rolls. Hands is a bugger for black pudding.
10) In the end? The best baker on the day, the most consistent throughout the whole series, Candice deserved the win. Also? I totally said she’d win from day 1. I actually predicted the final three. I should have put a bet on, but I didn’t. Idiot.
11) If I did go on, I’d have to tone down the swearing. I’ve already sworn on Channel 4 once in my life, and that was at 3pm on a weekday afternoon in front of old people. If I started yelling fuck’s sake at prime time when having a baking-related tantrum, I’d be expelled from the tent.
12) Still might apply. Totally fence-ridden, but I’ll look when apps open and see how I feel.
13) Candice looking like she’d butchered a pig at the end with the state of her apron. That’s hardcore baking skillz.
14) Reason #1 for Jane not to win - DID YOU SEE THE MESS SHE MADE WHEN MAKING HER FONDANT FANCIES?
15) I am OCD clean when baking. It’s my Mum’s fault. She was a professional cook/baker, and it’s kind of rubbed off on me.
15a) I miss my Mum. And now I’m off to have a quiet wibble and kill shit on Warcraft to make it a bit better. Fuck dementia.
