Saturday: son meets dog, son decides okay we can get one
Thursday 9:30 am: landlord approval achieved
Thursday 10:00 am: Application sent to adoption group
Thursday 10:30 am: Adoption rep: looks good we can do the home visit this evening and have the dog home with you this weekend.
ME: MY GOD WHAT?? I NEED SLEEP. I NEED TO WORK. I REALLY NEED TO CLEAN. I REALLY NEED THIS COLD TO FUCK THE HELL OFF AND LET ME BREATH AND SLEEP. OMG OMG OMFG.
In conclusion: I am not prepared and I have a stupid nasty rude cold that could be turning worse. I have no dog supplies. Do I even have the energy right this minute? Do I hold off until next week when I'll be better prepared and hopefully not sick knowing the only appropriate dog for us (based on age, cat friendliness, energy level) at this time will likely be adopted to someone else this weekend? It could be a long wait for the next eligible dog. What to do..
Mostly I really don't want my house looking like it does right now when they do a home visit. lol
Below cut for long ramble but it’s all GOOD STUFF (no stuffing because that is gross and my Thanksgiving meal was Stouffer’s frozen macaroni, popcorn, and sweet potato pie with cool whip thank you very much. :)
1) MY CPAP MACHINE IS HERE. I’ve had 2 glorious days of sleep. It’s made a massive difference in how I feel! I worked 11 hours last night and until the end I was wide awake and clear headed! I’ve gone from having 60+ apnea/hypopnea events per hour to just 1.4! I can only imagine the damage of having my oxygen saturation in the low 80′s was having on my poor body and brain. In addition to the poor sleep quality of course. The new machine has some really neat features and advancements over the old one. Considering that I was being undertreated (pressue was too low) and the machine has been on a decline for months, I’m feeling very optimistic with this new situation.
2) Guys. GUYS! I might be getting a cubicle. My very own cubicle. My very own cubicle with all my stuff in one place (or mostly at least). My very own space for the first time since I’ve worked there (20+ years).! Finally, I would no longer feel that I’m “borrowing” other people’s workspace and trying to fit my ever growing paperwork into whatever space I can find. I know there’s a negative connotation to the idea of a cubicle but I will be overjoyed if it happens. It would remove me from the main lab area and put me in the separate office space (mostly used my supervisor’s). It’s by far the smallest cubicle, not big enough for any of the supervisors tbh, but adequate for my needs. This change would reflect on the changes to my workflow and duties. That’s both exciting and scary as changes make me feel uncertain and anxious as I worry about my job security. It’s probably illogical but that’s anxiety and not much I’ve been able to change in my thinking. Gods, this could go along way to getting my work organized so I can do a better job. I’ve bitched about the hot mess of my department all year. I LOVE my job but not being able to do a Good Job has absolutely been killing me. It doesn’t matter if none of it is truly my fault, it still feels like shit. Now I feel some more hope. Also, been working with a Bigwig Corporate Lady and she’s great.
One more GREAT thing: my kitty with the health issues (kidneys most likely) is looking good. She now weighs 9 pounds! I’ll need to get her back to the vet soon-ish to have her bloodwork rechecked but I’m so happy that she has some meat over her bones. I think she is getting a bit senile though. She can be annoying as fuck but she’s my soul cat (it’s pretty one-sided lol) and I love her to pieces. On the other hand, my other kitty is weighing in at 11 pounds! Good grief. I need to get her to the vet to see what is going on. This is not a matter of eating more. I guess it could be age. BTW, she is a small framed cat. I would say that at most 9 pounds would be okay for her frame. Oh boy.
Okay, ramble over!
And, now some gaming, reading and probably watching BTS kpop youtube videos in my lovely flannel night gown and delightfully cozy, fuzzy robe.
I had my sleep study today. It was quite different from the one I had over 10 years ago. Sleeping without my CPAP is very upsetting. I had to do that for a few hours so they could see how bad my apnea was. Well, I’ve gone from mild sleep apnea to severe. Yay me. Not that I’m surprised. If the constant fatigue I’ve been dealing with for the past few months wasn’t enough to convince me, waking up gasping several times today at the sleep center certainly did. Well, I am a little surprised when the tech mentioned they only would do the CPAP titration for the second half if I had at least 40 apnea events per hour and then she came in to hook me up. I was expecting worse apnea but not that much worse. I had to restrain my tears when they put me back on the CPAP for the second half of my sleep. It was such a relief. There should be no question that I qualify for a new CPAP machine! Thank god because the current one is dying.
I still have paste in my hair from the sensor things and IDGAF. So happy I took the night off from work because this level of tired is not responsible to be driving or dealing with BS. lol
I bought myself a sewing machine for my birthday! Other than a very basic sewing class I took a few weeks ago (made a simple pillow) I have no experience beyond basic home ec sewing in high school (decades ago). I set my machine up this morning and made a pillowcase from an old sheet. I’m absurdly proud that I was able to make it all work. Not only did I salvage a bed sheet in the process but now I don’t have to buy a new pillowcase. Hopefully I have enough fabric to make another pillowcase.
A good work thing happened for me and I’m a little numb but also happy. It pays to be persistent I guess? Or at least to have a boss to talk to that actually cares and says you deserve good things. Me taking the time to talk to her was important too. It’s hard for me to feel that I deserve good things. Basically, this means I will make more money and feel more stable in my position. Work has been extremely stressful for all. There were 2 things that were personally very upsetting to me and now those have mostly been resolved. I will not miss the chest pains work stress was causing! Also, I have my Give A Fuck back!!! YES!
Kitty is doing pretty good. She’s gained 9 ounces (if I have the math right lol) ! She looks much better. Both probably due to the sub-q fluids. She had more yesterday, administered by me during a training session with the excellent vet tech. Now I can give her fluids at home! Twice a week for now pending the urinalysis results.
Her appetite is good. I have a new renal diet for her and she likes it so far. The clinic gave me a trial kit with a few different flavors of wet and dry. The goal is to have her primarily on canned wet food but I am going to give her some dry as well. I’ve figured out a way to feed the cats separately. The other kitty wouldn’t be harmed by the renal diet but considering she is getting rather plump (the renal diet had more calories) and the cost of the food, I will probably go for the cheaper but still high quality food I have been feeding.
I had to hold off on the x-rays for now. That was going to be around 350 and I can’t manage it just yet. Well, I could but tbh have bills that need to be paid. As it is I can only be relieved that I have the tax refund.
The vet says the kidney disease is not severe so that is comforting.
My dog adoption plans are on hold indefinitely. Obviously I can’t be adding more expense and I don’t want to stress kitty out. I’m perfectly okay with this. While I really do want a dog I can be content with my volunteering. It’s even a little bit of a relief because I can stop obsessing about having one. Of course, I don’t like the reason but it is what it is.
Thank you for the well wishes, kind words and hugs! <3
