#tentacle variations

[somberchapel]

Neat-o Gadgets, A Few Laser Guns and Some Androids or Whatever

...is the working title of my forthcoming science-fiction novel. It’s a fast-paced outer space adventure filled with action-packed robot ray-gun battles and more mile-long gray metal faster-than-light alien battleships than you can shake a space-stick at. Plus the severed tentacle count is off the charts. To request an advance copy, please speak with your clergyman about subliminal satanic “backward masked” mind-control Antichrist messages allegedly hidden on the new Enya album.

[somberchapel]

I Am Still Haunted By Tentacles

...is the tentative title of my forthcoming science-fiction novel. This thrilling cosmic adventure is a rip-roarin’ action-packed interplanetary space-opera tale complete with laser beams a-blastin’ and writhing tentacles aplenty. It was written in a single weekend marked by cannabis-induced psychosis that also saw the author staring into the bathroom mirror for hours on end holding a loaded .44-caliber revolver to his head while whispering dark fragments from Dante’s Inferno and somberly contemplating the eventual annihilation of everything in one final existence-ending Cosmic Armageddon — the stars, the universe, space-time itself. Critics are calling it a tentacle extravaganza. To request an advance copy, please amputate your own genitals at your earliest convenience.

[somberchapel]

I’m Writing a Science Fiction Novel

Basically, it’s a fast-paced and action-packed interplanetary adventure chock full of futuristic gadgets, up-to-the-minute scientific speculations and horrifyingly perverted tentacled aliens whose sinister plans to enslave wholesome college-age Earth girls in the pan-galactic bukkake film industry doesn’t exactly sit too well with the red-blooded all-American joes in the Solar Space Patrol tasked with keeping the spacelanes safe for democracy and mom’s apple pie. It’s tentatively titled Alas, Tentacles.

[somberchapel]

Permission to Blast Those Tentacled Space Bastards to Kingdom Come With My Futuristic Laser Weapon, Sarge?

… is the working title of my forthcoming science fiction mock-memoir chronicling the wartime experiences of a battle-tested tough-as-nails blast-beam gunner on a mile-long gray-metal space battleship taking part in United Galaxy Federation peacekeeping missions during the Pan-Galactic Tentacle Wars. From the book: “If there’s one thing I’d like readers to take away from this heartfelt account of morally upright Earthmen battling wave after wave of menacingly tentacled space monsters in the thrall of an evil and criminally insane cosmic tyrant with sinister plans to court and marry a charmingly wholesome and pleasingly proportioned college-age Earth woman against her wishes, it’s that I am still haunted by tentacles. Terrifying tentacles there were in profusion — and I fought the many-tentacled horrors.”

[somberchapel]

Shall I whisper to you of malicious many-tentacled monsters from a far-distant star, my love?

[somberchapel]

One Tentacle Too Many

This sf microfiction involves laser-beam-blasting tentacled robot tripods which are merely optical illusions telekinetically generated by sinister microscopic alien parasites which have invaded Earth and “feed on” the fear vibrations radiating from human beings as they run for their lives.

[somberchapel]

Perhaps More of My Awful Poetry is in Order

I write poetry about moral decay, the decadence of modernity and also the hyperviolent mechanized humanoid extraterrestrial cyborg-beings with super-advanced occult-military laser technology and horrifyingly sadistic sexual proclivities with sinister plans for full-scale imminent Earth invasion and it stands to reason that the sight of their constantly writhing metal tentacles silhouetted against the darkening horizon is utterly hideous.