Hii! How are you? Could you do a headcanon of The Freak Circus with a Artist!Reader who plays an instrument very well, but they would afraid to perform on stage because of insecurity and fear fear of being judged by others? (I found your blog interesting and I liked your writing style . If you don't like the topic, that's okay.) That's it, bye!! :)
The Freak Circus x MusicArtist!Reader (Headcannons)
18+ not nsfw but because the fandom is
Gn!Reader with all (Pierrot, Harlequin, Jester, Ticket Taker, Doctor, Columbina) and an instrument up to interpretation!
Word count: 4,270
Any creators notes and more ask response at end
You can read more on my character interpretations in my headcannon list
• The second he hears about you playing an instrument he instantly has to hear his dearest play! He would beg you with his puppy eyes if he has to!
• Should you not wish to play he gets concerned, why are you so nervous to play? Did someone say something bad about you?! is it him your nervous about disappointing, is that the impression he’s been giving?! did he do something wrong? Your not pulling away are you?
• Anyway eventually he’s getting you to play for him either out of concern for him clearly taking it badly that you would play for him (granted he quickly scrambled to hide it) or through his encouragement. He cant let you get away with hiding this from him!
• And yes he is very encouraging, your own biggest fan before he’s even heard you. Will continually remind you that you are safe from judgment when its just you and him, he could never judge you, he adores you! Now PLEASE play for him dear…
• Once you do play he will sit there absolutely lovestruck and mesmerised by your music he had expected whatever you played to sound great but this? Is this what heaven sounds like? He could listen to this for eternity and spend every second of it happy, just look at you his love, his dream, HIS only want playing right here for HIM! He could die happy hear and now.
• You may have to snap him out of it even after you stop playing he can get so lost it may take him a minute to realise, still lost in the moment. Tends to be disappointed when you stop but quickly bounces back once he hears you speak giving you the biggest round of applause looking for that smile of yours.
• Should you seem nervous once you stop playing he is going on endlessly about how amazing you are, how HE gets to witness this. You should be on stage preforming to vast audiences! Sure he'd love to keep you all for himself but you deserve to be shown how amazing you are, how much the audience would love you! His dearest.
• Maybe you could assist in HIS performance! Its just music you could just stand to the side while he dances with his shadows for you, so long as you’re in an area you won’t see anything you shouldn’t you’ll be perfectly fine! A great duet, dancer and musician as one, each others muse perhaps!!
• He’s deviated once he finds out your terrified of being on stage. Of course you would be he knows how judgmental people can be, of course your afraid of them. It would crumble his fantasies in an instant, but maybe keeping you off stage is for the better.
• Thinking about it he can’t help but worry about how the audience would view you, if something could go wrong and the audience mistreat you? What if you somehow end up like him during his first performance? He couldn’t let that happen to you.
• As much as he wants you to be confident enough to go on stage, to break your insecurities bit by bit, and he wants to prove it to you that YOU are the greatest person he could possibly ask to do so. To gently break your fears and let you shine like you are clearly meant too. He’s to terrified of what could happen to you what THEY could DO to you. He can’t bring himself to put you in that situation.
• Will however often ask you to play for him while he practices or simply to enjoy dancing with you, maybe even just so he can listen to you play over and over again, doing whatever he can and saying whatever he can to improve your confidence and show you exactly how good you are.
• Oh you play an instrument do you? How fun~, and would you look at that he won’t stop teasing you with little remarks about hearing you play. He gets more and more inpatient the longer he waits.
• However if you don’t wish to play for him? He’ll tease about being offended but reading your insecurities hits him in a way he doesn’t want to think about. Besides why would he care about that you being hesitant over a stupid instrument.
• Eventually you’ll fall for one of his tactics get so annoyed by his teasing you cave and play for him, or was it the small gestures of odd kindness where that smile appears more genuine and he points out the music stating “I bet you could play that”, and the few questions he has that aren’t poisoned by his teasing tone. Play this game long enough he may get inpatient and end up cornering you so evade him at your own risk.
• He’s going to continue to tease you although he will turn it down dependent on your current level of discomfort, reminding you that he doesn’t mean it, dear one. Will slip in a few kind words with a noticeably more gentle smile before continuing like it never happened and changing the subject if you bring it up by asking random questions.
• Finally when you play for him he’s absolutely dumbfounded, YOU play like THIS? And you’re afraid to show it?! The sheer idea of being so good at something and not showing it off? He really doesn’t understand you, but that’s what makes you so intriguing, so likeable? He doesn’t understand his feelings for you regarding this simply because he choses not to. What he does know is that he needs to hear you play more often.
• Once you stop he’s giving you a round of applause flashing that mischievous grin of his and asking if maybe you could play something to set the mood next time, you know have a little fun. So long as Pierrot isn’t in earshot there shouldn’t be any knives involved.
• Your still nervous? He’s unsure what to say just kind of freezing for a second once he notices before blurting out something along the lines of “Are you serious? You just put on the show of the year right her and your…” before catching himself before making snarky remarks about how astonishing you’re talent is that are oddly kind for such a tone.
• Anyway before long he’s attempting to convince you to join his performances even bribing with what he can. You two would be a dastardly duo and he would love to see Pierrots face once he sees. Background music for his stories, covered. Drama added to his stunts done. He could even sing along!
• Complains like a winy idiot once he finds out your to afraid to go on stage and takes it as a challenge to convince you to do so. Afraid of the public? Don’t worry about them just play for him like they aren’t there! Yeah yeah thats not how that works but come on you two would make an amazing duo! Pleaseeeeee?
• Anyway the more he thinks about it the more it bothers him, not because your not willing to duet him in some form, but because deep down he’s concerned about you. He doesn’t want you to have so much fear over something you clearly enjoy doing, after all you wouldn’t be so good at it if it wasn’t something you enjoyed right?
• He wants to break whatever’s holding you back and the thought will pester him endlessly and he won’t admit it hurts to see you so afraid of judgment. As if their opinions actually matter, that those toys on the streets harassment had gotten to you and caused you to fear it. They mean nothing compared to what you could do and yet they still soil that talent.
• This results in him getting you to play for him when you two are alone, making those naturally gentle comments he refuses to admit to in hopes you get used to playing more in the presence of others. Some day you’ll open up, you have too, you deserve too. Besides he does enjoy listening to you play, almost like a place to rest and find peace for those moments amongst the chaos if the circus; a time to finally relax and just listen. He won’t admit how much he truly enjoys it though.
• Probably found out from the others that you play an instrument unless you told him, I have a feeling he’d catch Pierrot looking at stuff such as accessories or maintenance for your instrument. That or Harle let it slip after he clocked his annoyance at you not performing in front of others. He doesn’t care much for hearing you play but he’ll admit he’s curious what got the others riled up.
• Would probably ask you to play out of curiosity and to see how willing you are to follow along, if you decline to he’s probably reiterating it and telling you it wasn’t a question. It didn’t take long for him to asses your body language and look in your eyes to know it was simply fear of his judgment.
• He’s not letting this go now, he doesn’t exactly like being evaded and having things hidden from him, in this case its your talent. However to avoid upsetting a certain guard dog he needs to be nice about this, more of a gentle push, oh and he’ll keep pushing even if he can’t push you fully right now he’ll simply come back later to continue. Like training a pet, they won’t always obey the first time.
• He pushes by asking questions, maybe how long you’ve played, how often. He’ll invite you to play even briefly, these invites do not stop or even slow for that matter. He’ll typically wait for when you appear most at ease talking about your instrument before each invite, making a mental note of improvement and giving himself feedback on the best approach.
• Once he manages to convince you to play he takes more pleasure in the victory of his in successfully breaking you in. However he will admit you sounded way better than he imagined. Its a shame it took so long to accomplish this, but the time he took “convincing” you was worth it.
• When you stop he thinks about how maybe you would make a nice little song bird, a cute little pet with music to listen to, preferably well trained. He wonders how many songs you could play. However that may disturb the circus too much, its a pity but he’d rather keep things as they are without the interruption.
• If he noticed your anxious after you’ve played he’s quick to tell you that you simply have no reason to be, your performance was great its a shame the circus is yet to master that talent. You must have spent a lot of time on it which is saying something for someone with such a small life span, he can’t help but respect the passion.
• Although you shouldn’t get any ideas about joining them. He knows how easy it would be for you to slip somewhere you don’t belong should the others let you try. But maybe if they insist they could put you somewhere else, with a well thought out plan of course, maybe you could add ambiance to the food stalls. As long as you don’t find out whats in the food.
• Oh your unable to perform on a stage? Makes sense since you couldn’t even perform in front of him. Better to keep it that way since it would cause the circus less trouble, humans can be quite troublesome after all so he understands where the insecurity is coming from. Its a shame humans don’t have the capacity to understand talent when they hear it, this place would be a whole lot nicer without them. At least you’re stage fright should help you behave well, he knows he likes that about you.
• He won’t dwell much on the thought but he’ll remember how well you played. Although he’s going to have to keep an eye out for the other circus members breaking or bending the rules for you to play. He’ll have to keep an eye on that after all with talent like that I’m sure they’ll want you playing more.
• Maybe he himself should ask you to play again when it wouldn’t inconvenience the circus? Besides it may give him a chance to catch up with his little mouse, make sure they continue to behave like a good pet. Despite everything so long as you stay in line your company isn’t exactly bad.
• Should you find yourself playing for him again it may be after a particularly hard day, giving him a chance to unwind a little, after all he does enjoy the music. You are quite a good little pet for obliging although he can tell it was done out of care or concern, he doesn’t like to think about that though. You are after all just a human, just a pet, pets don’t last as long as they do so there’s no point getting attached. Even if he may end up concerned about having a choice in that.
• Oh great you “play” an instrument. Congratulations your insecurity is now warranted. He’s a perfectionist so assuming you don’t play to his standards he dreads having to listen too it.
• He’s relieved if he finds out you don’t want to play in front of him, he’d rather not waste his time judging that when he’s already busy with the circus. However should he hear about your playing from the others he will become curious. Especially if jester is the one to say something nice he’s quite hard to please with human stunts.
• Eventually he’ll try to get you to play to ease his curiosity, he’ll be reassuring and do his best to make you feel comfortable enough to play, lying about being judgmental if he has to, claiming he would not be bothered by such a trivial thing.
• However he’s not asking, and it would be good of you to obey and stay in line right? As much as that “illusion” behind you seems to dislike his methods its for the better of the circus that he can go back to focusing on his work. Your pretty much cornered until you at least try to play.
• Finally getting you to play he’s honestly surprised, you meet his standards maybe even succeed them. It really took that much to pry it out of you? Oh well, he doesn’t ponder long, he’s already enjoying the music. Its a nice difference from the chaos of the circus, kind of like a grounding symphony amongst the chaos. He’s very impressed.
• Once you stop he’s quick to ask you to continue stating it as a nice break from work and thanking you for your time and obedience, even if it took some pushing. He’s glad he chose to listen too you despise his expectations.
• Wait are you nervous? After that performance? He’s very quick to highlight every little perfection you appear to be blatantly glossing over. Honestly it’s painful for him to hear such negativity about something to well done.
• Maybe he can convince Jester to let you play for the daytime performances, those rowdy streets could use something to make his presence seem less agonising amongst those messy animals. However that would probably be difficult so he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Its a shame, he could really use something to look forward to out there.
• What?! Your afraid to perform still? It irks him that talent like that is wasted on the judgment of fools who don’t know better, don’t understand the true perfection of what they hear. As much as he knows Jester wouldn’t let you perform anyway it just makes him want to send you out more to prove them and you wrong, even if it meant agonisingly explaining it in simple terms for those too simple minded!If only it wouldn’t cause issues for the circus!!
• Thinking about it starts to bother him where that fear of judgment has came from, I mean he is insanely judgmental when it comes to things like this. What made you so anxious? He knows he feels bad for you but also that he can’t change anything that happened before, but that won’t stop him thinking about it regardless if he wants to or not.
• He’ll accept you not wanting to play for others, after all it would be better for the circus, however he will not accept whatever caused this fear. He doesn’t care if its just a natural anxiety or something that happened, he’s getting to the root of it and gently pushing you to be more confident at mostly your own pace, he can’t let such talent go to waste after all. You get complemented on the little things you don’t even think about much anymore let alone expect to be recognised for with him around.
• He’ll get you to play for him when he could use some time away from the chaos typically not giving you no as an option, after all your in their circus so you play by their rules. And honestly he needs this, he’s grown fond of your playing and your company like a small sanctuary from every responsibility and little detail he gets too stuck into. After all he is the most stressed within the circus.
• His patient plays music? Can you play metal? He doesn’t care wether or not your instrument sounds metal, it could always be modified to sound that way. But can you? He’d ask you to try even on an otamatone.
• You wont play for him? What’s wrong? Afraid he’ll breach patient confidentiality? You shouldn’t keep secrets from your doctor sweetie, you could end up in worse condition, lets not let that happen.
• Eventually with some convincing he’s sure to get you to play besides he’s a doctor not a musician your the expert in that field, he’s quick to analyse the anxiety realising he’s not the problem but people in general.
• He’s reassuring and factual in his approach stating very clearly he does not care how you play, if you have the capacity to play for yourself then you clearly weren’t doing it for anyone else. What matters is you find joy in it, that’s what he’s looking for. Not some performance of the year. And if you aren’t that good then you’re simply still improving that’s how it works. He didn’t become a doctor over night after all (well at least a good one).
• When he eventually gets to hear you play he’s studying you, he doesn’t care what you play although he would prefer metal. But right now he has a patient to assist. Your great talent was just another factor. Don’t get him wrong he is listening to you and enjoying the music but he has priorities.
• Once your done he gathers the facts, how nervous you where, how much more talented you where then you let on out of anxiety, how much you still seemed to enjoy playing despite everything. You may need to wait a minute before he responds. Interesting aren’t you? And yet unbelievably talented.
• Noticing immediately the heightened anxiety if present he’s ensuring you know how well you played and that you should be proud of your efforts in gaining that skill. You have no need to be nervous and you should know as your doctor its his job to help you relieve said ails that stop you from reaching your full potential.
• Your free to come play in his tent any time, just be careful of his medical instruments, we wouldn’t want you getting hurt now. Although he’s going to do everything logical to convince you to play metal for him, it is calming for him after all.
• Ah right his patients, of course you won’t play in front of them, even if its not as bad as a stage or any performance like the others would invite you to its still people listening. Oh well its only until your more confident, patience is key in situations like these.
• He spends a lot of time thinking about it, ways to help you overcome thus fear. Medications, exposure therapy, diving into potential trauma, maybe it’s genetic insecurity? He’ll figure out why you can’t play in front of others and cure it. That’s what doctors are for and the better health be it mental or physical the tastier the result.
• You should be confident and be allowed to show of your skill free of fear regardless of judgment, you do it for joy and should not be held back from a passion. It may take time but he’s breaking whatever restrains you, he wouldn’t be a good doctor if he didn’t. Besides he wants you to find as much joy in your music as he finds joy in being a doctor.
• Getting asked to come play for him while he sets up or packs away becomes a regular occurrence in his attempt to study your improvement and get you used to playing in front of others, besides he does enjoy your music. Soon you should be able to play around his other patients too, it just needs time.
• Someone told her you like playing an instrument. She’s not overly inclined towards you but the others like you so next time she sees you she’ll ask about it, even though humans make her nervous.
• Your too insecure to play? Shes very understanding and won’t push however she’ll invite you to play with her. She picked up an ocarina along their travels, along with other little hobbies she found neat, shes not really musically inclined and can’t play well telling you this in advance.
• She’ll get you to play by providing you peace and quiet. She offers to play first and her skill makes you feel more welcome, she even stated you could probably do better but you both where here for comfort not skill, and yeah you can definitely play better than that.
• Knowingly very sympathetic she’s letting you do things at your own pace with no rush, letting you know theres no reason to be nervous. I guess it also helps seeing she’s nervous too, but that’s just how she is around you, shes very untrusting. But despite that she still let you stay, still wants you to feel welcome, feel comfortable even. If only it was so easy to do the same for her.
• Surprised to hear how well you play she gets distracted by it, she wasn’t expecting this even though the overs spoke of you so highly. Shes a bit embarrassed by her own skill now but that doesn’t matter long to her, what matters is you seem so happy, it’s practically contagious. It eases her slightly until she notices it and the reminder that your a human just like them kicks in.
• Shes quick to congratulate you once you finish and even asks you to teach her, she could always use another little hobby to distract herself after all. And you dose enjoy bonding with you although sometimes she forces herself to much for the sake of the others.
• Wait your still nervous? But you played so well is it her your nervous of? Where you this nervous with the others? Its not because she’s pretty is it? Shes quick to jump conclusions and assume things she expects from humans in general, but with either reassurance or the realisation its not just her will put her mind at ease and she’ll start to realise you are simply afraid of the judgment of others.
• Have the others offered you a role performing yet? It would be nice to see you get to show off your skill if you feel like it. Your music truly is something after all, she could offer to help you set up too. Maybe help convince them to let you on stage if your feeling confident enough.
• Its not surprising to her when you say you don’t want to be on stage, instead she offers you to play along in her little hide aways where the public cant judge you. It doesn’t matter if they would think your bad or even too good in there you get to be alone whenever you please.
• Sure she wants you to be confident enough to go on stage but humans can be terrible regardless if your better or worse. She gets harassed a for her beauty and wonders what attention you would draw to yourself with you playing. Maybe its for the best you stay away from them, but she’ll still encourage you to play for other members of the circus, after all she trusts them unlike you or the public.
• She’ll still offer for you to play music with her giving her a chance to practice the ocarina asking you tips and tricks about getting better at music in general. She may even ask you to find something simple you can both learn to play together. Just for the small moments away from everything and everyone else.
Thanks for the ask I’m glad you like my writing! Honestly I was already thinking about the cast and a Violinist!Reader so I already had plenty of ideas.
Honestly I may have just taken the idea and ran with it so sorry if I miss interpreted anything in my excitement.
Also I’m doing alright tho the heats made me more venerable to vertigo attacks and its kinda hard to write when that’s gone off, damn I was hoping to get this finished sooner so ya didn’t have to wait long! Anyway hope you’re doing ok!