hello everyone. i'm heroposting again.
i've faced a lot of cruelty during my time on this planet. there are some incidents i replay in my mind often, others have been forgotten. in my attempts to cultivate a kind and safe environment for myself and the people around me, i've been faced with the unavoidable fact that some just don't want a nicer world. it doesn't suit their needs or desires. it would require them to change their behavior; they wouldn't be able to exploit others, lie or cheat their way into power, or revel in emotionally and physically hurting others.
it's easier to attempt to bully those who want things to be better into giving up on their dreams and smashing their lives to pieces. i watch this happen to others and it has happened to me. moments of trauma are wielded as weapons to force your compliance into a brutal system that wants you to let go of your love at all costs. i've taken the hero's journey for granted, i think. i thought it was easy to be good. but often, there's a price for not prioritizing your own ambitions. that price is ridicule and humiliation. we're taught not to intervene in matters that are not our own, that it's better not to speak of it or rush to save other people. both in my past lives and now, i've faced the consequences of standing up for myself and for people who deserve it. often, the result is a cruel punishment that they convince you and others that you deserve. i'm thinking of ti guan ci fu as a good example of this.
despite all of the intimidation, my body and mind exhausted from their tactics and wanting to give up, i pick myself up eventually. it's worth it. it's so worth it for me. the small moments of peace and joy that i can give to others make all of those moments worth it. i used to be miserable, i felt useless. now that i can create tangible beauty around me through kind acts, i'm much more satisfied with myself.
placeholder text because tumblr wont let me post ask messages without something in the reply box
