#thatwarmtoastyfeeling

[pookie02]

Look at these fools

[pookie02]

We went to the bookstore again....

[hipwrites]

Blue Moon

@thatwarmtoastyfeeling just HAD to get me thinking about cannibabies again

***

“Hey. Heeeeey. Nigel? Hello? Earth to Nigeeeel!” Nickie waved a hand in front of his brother’s face.

“...ah. Sorry, Nickie. What were you saying?” Nigel tilted his head in his direction, a quick smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“You okay there?” Nickie leaned back against the wall. The lights of the Strip shone over the gates of Freeside like a beacon; Nickie raised an eyebrow and jerked his head towards them “You know you can put off going back, right?”

“Mm.” Nigel took a pensive drag on his cigarette. He lowered the hand holding it in one smooth motion and dropped it to the ground and ground his heel into it. “Yes, well, I’m certainly aware that is one of my options.”

“You know what I mean!” Nickie shook his head, “C’moooon. No one would blame you for putting this off! You got dumped--”

Nigel grimaced, “I can hardly be dumped if we never saw each other in th-that...that capacity at all--”

“...and you can put this off.” Nickie shrugged and grinned, “Or I can sneak you in the back. Everyone’s gonna be too drunk at the party to notice if I do!”

“That would be a cowardly move on my part.” Nigel turned his head in the direction of the Strip, “...and I hardly think it’s necessary. Morris is likely...busy. Tonight. According to this, at least.” Nigel pulled out the folded schedule Nickie had slipped him earlier that day.

“I’d hardly expect him to be called to the doors when he has a rare night off on a holiday. That would be quite rude of Marjorie, and I trust Layla to have whisked him off to some party of her own given the chance.”

“‘Night off’ doesn’t mean he’s not around!” Nickie pushed himself free of the wall. “But, hey, you do you. I’m off to ring in the New Year by myself if you’re not going to stick around.”

“Yes. Well. Have fun.” Nigel shook his head with a smile, “And. Ah. Stay safe.”

“You too! Good luck, and Happy New Year!”

***

It hadn’t been that long, really, since he’d been gone.

Nigel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then down the back of his neck. The Strip was much the same as he’d left it when he’d left with Amber, hoping to mend the pieces of their family. He certainly hadn’t needed the space to do that, really, but she had insisted. Likely out of some misplaced need to apologize for encouraging him to be honest with Morris in the first place.

She needn’t have worried about him. Morris was never going to respond to his feelings, no matter when he told him or the circumstances around it.

The casinos were full of noisy revelers; New Year’s Eve was always particularly boisterous. That meant it was far too loud for Nigel to hear his own footsteps as he walked, let alone his own thoughts. It was probably better that way.

Morris hadn’t said anything when Nigel told him he loved him. It was best not to dwell on that. He’d had weeks to make his peace with his broken heart, to wipe the memory of the stunned silence Morris had filled the room with after Nigel muttered his final apologies for burdening him with his feelings and closed the door to his office.

The best thing to do might have been to stay, but no one could accuse Nigel of bravery. He likely would have backed out entirely if he hadn’t been able to retreat from the Ultra-Luxe for an extended leave of absence following his confession.

That was fine. This was fine. Everything was fine.

Nigel slid his hands into his pockets and fingered the box of cigarettes he had slipped there. He wasn’t back to smoking, not really, but sharing a house with Ada had been a bad influence. A bit of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips--Morris certainly wouldn’t have approved of him sharing cigarettes with someone as troublesome as his sister while he visited, but it had been an olive branch he had enjoyed employing to stop fights while visiting his family.

He could have another one now. Should, maybe, to calm the pounding in his chest and head. 

By now he was nearing the fountain outside of the Ultra-Luxe. Nigel paused, shut his eyes momentarily, and drew in a breath.

He opened his eyes and peered around the fountain. Nickie had been right; Morris was nowhere to be seen. Nigel curled his lips into a smile, withdrew his hands from his pockets, and took a confident step around the fountain and towards the casino.

“Nigel?”

He almost hadn’t caught the low, quiet voice over the rushing water from the fountain, but it was still enough to stop him in his tracks. Nigel knew that voice. He’d always recognize it--now, ten years from now. Twenty.

Smile frozen on his face, he turned and faced Morris. “...ah. Hello. I can’t say I was expecting you to be here today.”

Morris didn’t move, didn’t say a word. Nigel raised his hands in the air and gave a defensive little wave, “Not that I shouldn’t have! I’d heard you might be busy. Somewhere. Not here. Ahahaha. Um.”

How he wished Morris would just say something. How he wished Morris would do anything, just walk away, or tell Nigel to leave, or something that didn’t involve leaning ever-so-slightly forward, staring. But of course he wouldn’t. Of course. It wasn’t in his nature, even now, with Nigel sputtering like he’d lost every bit of composure he’d ever had.

“...I’ll just. Ah. Well. I’ll let you get on with your night! Really.” Nigel shook his head and took a step back, touching the back of his neck with another of those ridiculous smiles plastered across his face. He turned his face back in the direction of the fountain, just to have something else to look at. “I mean it. We don’t have to make this...awkward. Please.”

“...Nigel.” Nigel snapped his head forward; Morris had reached out and brushed one of his outstretched hands with his own. He folded his fingers between Nigel’s own; not firmly, but enough that a every nerve in Nigel’s hand felt like it was on fire all at once. If Morris’s goal had been to trap him in place, he couldn’t have accomplished it more efficiently if he had tried.

“Morris.” The word came out more an exhalation of breath than anything. Nigel’s eyes flickered up, meeting Morris’s for just a moment.

“Stay. Please.” Morris grasped Nigel’s hand in both of his. He studied his face quietly for a moment.

They stood like that for...minutes? Hours? It certainly felt like the latter. Nigel gulped nervously but didn’t move, didn’t speak. Hardly dared to breath, though the more time passed the more he felt he should say something. Anything, really.

Morris unclasped one hand from Nigel’s. Held it out, froze for a moment, then reached forward and ran the tips of his fingers through Nigel’s hair. Nigel’s eyes darted away, half closed, heart hammering out of his chest.

He shut them the rest of the way. Leaned just a bit up, despite every logical synapse in his brain firing at once to tell him he was wrong, wrong, wrong, he was misreading this so very badly, this was certainly not what it looked like, and--

There was a bit of rustling and Nigel felt Morris’s warm breath tickled his cheek, and he felt his face flush. “...may I?”

Nigel’s eyes opened, just a bit, to take in the sight of Morris’s face close to his own. He nodded, slowly, pressing his forehead to Morris’s and nodding again. “...y...y-ye...yes...”

Morris closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Nigel’s.

[hipwrites]

@thatwarmtoastyfeeling hey remember that one AU idea from way back when anyways I wrote a thing

This had never been a good idea. Not from the moment they had conceived the plan, to the terrifying instant a familiar voice spoke his name.

“Nigel.”

“Morris.” He exhaled the entire word at once, “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“What are you doing here?” Morris shook his head slowly, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“...ahaha. Well. I could be saying the same to you, couldn’t I?” Nigel pressed his hand to his cheek and allowed himself a rare frown behind his stolen recruit’s mask. “You don’t belong here either. I said as much to you when I abandoned the Strip and the family. How did you know it was me?”

“I heard you speaking to the guard out front.” The corner of Morris’ lips quirked downward, “I’d know your voice anywhere. I followed you.”

It wasn’t fair, really, how that made something in Nigel’s chest twist. He hadn’t been expecting this confrontation--dreading its inevitability, despite that, and despite how he’d been doing his marked best to ignore words like inevitable since the Dam fell--and didn’t bother hiding the hurt that was creeping into his voice. “Really, now? I’m surprised, given how long it’s been since you’ve heard it. Ah, well. That’s not really my fault, now is it?”

Perhaps that would help to sway the situation. If Morris was still soft in regards to his treatment of Nigel, it certainly couldn’t hurt to play up how wounded he felt.

The air in the tent felt heavy and still. Morris drew in a quiet, almost inaudible breath. “...you haven’t answered my first question, Nigel.”

Nigel let another beat pass before sliding the goggles off carefully over his glasses and turned to look Morris in the eyes. He nudged his face mask down, too--there was no point in the damn thing anymore. His lips quirked into an edged smile, “What do you think I’m doing here, Morris? I mean, really. I don’t see the point in dancing around the subject. Goodness knows, you know me too well to guess incorrectly.”

“Just because I can guess doesn’t mean I want to believe I caught you sneaking into a Legion camp, alone and presumably unarmed.” He took a step closer, hesitating just a moment, then repeated himself. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Ah, wonderful. Now we’re just going in circles.” Nigel clapped his hands together and brightened his smile, “Good work. You’ve solved the mystery of how I shouldn’t be here, and I’m certain the realization that this could get me hung on a cross isn’t far off.”

Morris flinched. Nigel reached up to delicately touch Morris’ arms with both hands, hating the little thrill that coursed through him, “I’d say that I don’t blame you if you tell someone and get me killed over this. I’m not even trying to hide my intentions, after all, and you did get the drop on me. But that would be dishonest of me, and I’d hate to lie to you. I would blame you.”

Morris reached up and took Nigel’s hands by the wrists, moving them away. Nigel noted the gesture was much gentler than he would have expected. He didn’t let them go, though. “You can’t think that of me. That I could do that to you.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Nigel managed a sigh and cautiously turned his face away. “You left us, Morris. You chose the White Gloves and...and this...” He jerked his head in the direction of the tent around them, “Over my family. Over me. Over all the years we were friends.”

“Nigel...”

“Why shouldn’t I be angry, Morris?” Nigel pressed his forehead self-indulgently into Morris’ chest and let his voice crack just a bit more than he’d intended. “You left me.”

“Nigel, please. It’s not like that--”

“I give up. This isn’t how I wanted this to go at all. I wanted to leave without seeing you.” And what do you know? Nigel hadn’t meant to actually cry, but he had to admit that the tears he felt welling up were timed impeccably. “Do whatever you want, just don’t act like you still consider me a friend after abandoning me like that. You don’t get to be different than everyone else who’s walked out on me in my life.”

“Nigel.” Morris cupped his hands around Nigel’s cheeks and tilted his face up to meet his eyes. “I was attempting to tell you that you should go.” He glanced away, “Please.”

“...Morris.” Nigel locked his arms around Morris and buried his face in his collarbone again. “Thank you.”

They stood there like that, quietly, for a while. Nigel took a few deep, ragged breaths to try and control himself. When he was able to take one without his heart feeling like it might beat out of his chest, he slid his hands to the front of Morris’ armor again. He gave him a delicate push, took half a step back, and just...studied him for a moment, letting his hands linger over his friend’s stomach.

In many ways, Morris hadn’t changed a day. Strong was always the word that had come to Nigel’s mind when he looked at him, but there was so much more to it than just his size. Like the way his brows had furrowed together as he inspected the smudge of tears splashed across Nigel’s glasses. Or the way his fingertips were lingering by Nigel’s elbows, not fully breaking the contact between them.

His heart hammered in his chest again. He felt a flush prickling in his ears that spread slowly across his cheeks.

It might be the last time he got to look at Morris and think about any of this, and maybe that was the only way to explain the careless rush of emotion threatening to choke itself into words. He shouldn’t be letting any of this get to him when leaving should be his only goal, and he should get a grip on himself, he really should.

What he shouldn’t be doing is leaning up on his tiptoes and locking his hands behind Morris’ neck, because he’s a friend if he still considers Nigel anything at all and it isn’t fair of Nigel to ghost his lips against his either.

It didn’t feel the same as the last time Nigel had done this. He’d been drunk and stupid then, not desperate and heartbroken. The kiss probably lasted seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

Nigel broke away wrapped his hands around himself. He pushed past Morris without another word as he pulled his disguise back into place, breathing as evenly as he could until he hit the edge of the camp. When he reached the rendezvous point thankfully, mercifully still alone, he tore his goggles off and scrubbed frantically at the corner of his eye.

“Stupid.” He pitched the goggles as hard as he could into a nearby boulder. Stupid.

[hipwrites]

I got in the mood to write a quick, one-off about Fallout Gio and Nigel talking about boys

“Oh! Hello there.” Gio raised his eyebrows, popping his cigarette out of his mouth. “Fancy meeting you here, friend.”

“...ahaha. I. Yes, it is a bit unexpected.” Nigel smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. He nodded in the direction of the merchant’s pack. “I didn’t know you did business on the Strip sometimes--...apologies, I don’t think I caught your name the last time we met?”

Gio let out a low chuckle and held out a hand, “Giovanni Martelli, at your service. The pleasure’s all mine.”

“Oh, certainly not,” He gave Gio’s hand a quick shake, “Given that you seem to be a guest who may patronize our fine establishment during your visit to the Strip, perhaps? Although I am surprised to find you smoking so close to the building...surely someone came to shoo you away?”

“I can’t say the doorman approved, but I also can’t say I asked for his permission.” Gio shook his head with a grin. “Not being quite on the premises and all.”

“Ah. Well.” Nigel spared a glance back towards the casino doors. His eyebrows knit together. “I do feel as though I should take his side in this. Given my. Well, position.”

“Well, that’s right nice of you, huh?” Gio leaned against the wall and took another drag, “Backing up your friend like that? I mean, I’d guess that you are friends...?”

“Oh, yes! Morris and I go way back,” Nigel clapped his hands together, “Was that really so obvious?”

“Ha! Yes, yes.” Gio quirked an eyebrow, “Last time I saw you, you were attached at the hip in the desert.”

Nigel let out a little laugh, “Yes. Well. I suppose that would do it.”

“He seemed...very concerned for your health, if I recall.” Gio gave the hand holding his cigarette a little wiggle, “Which I suppose means I can’t entice you to join me...?”

“Goodness! Goodness, no.” Nigel gave his head a shake, “I mean, I shouldn’t...”

“Suit yourself! That’s more for me.” Gio grinned, “I wouldn’t want to upset your better half.”

Nigel paused, a small smile creeping onto his face. “Ahaha. Yes. Funny. ‘Other half,’ indeed. That’s a funny joke.”

“Oh! Oh, well, I wasn’t joking. Aren’t you two involved?”

Silence.

“Sorry, I just assumed! I didn’t mean to pry.” Gio let out another laugh and tilted his head curiously. “I usually have an eye for these things! I mean, you seem close...”

Nigel’s fingers twitched at his sides.

“...and he certainly wasn’t a fan of the direction our conversation took when I made it clear how handsome you were...”

The corners of Nigel’s lips turned down almost imperceptibly and a slight flush crept into his cheeks.

“And, here you are all concerned with his opinion of what would happen if we shared a quick smoke break together...”

Nigel reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair back into place, letting his curled fingers rest beneath his ear.

“But then, I could be wrong! I’ve been wrong about these things before.” Gio smiled and shrugged. “Not usually, but sometimes.”

“...yes. Well. that’s certainly an interesting theory. Do feel free to share more of it sometime, although I can assure you you’re quite wrong.” Nigel’s face tensed into a quick smile. “Nevertheless, I should return to the casino. I simply wanted to say hello, and warn you that perhaps you should enjoy your cigarette at a bit more of a distance.” He turned and gave a wave over one shoulder, “Do take care, Giovanni.”

Gio nodded slowly, “Likewise.”

[pookie02]

thatwarmtoastyfeeling replied to your post: *tries 1v1* *winds up nearly in tears and loses...

No but really it sucks, you’re so high level because it’s your antistress game but that causes you to be against other high levelers… blegh

I mean I don’t want toot my own horn, but I’d say I’m pretty okay at the game. But I do best in group settings. Even when everyone is dead and spectating I do better than getting hunted down alone by one person ;;

[templeofthought]

I woke up at 5:30am and I've been lying in bed having orion and silvio feelings wtf

HUEHUE. im so glad they come back when you least expect it

[pookie02]

Pookie I wok e up because I thought I had good ideas about our rp but then I realize d I wasn't actually awake as I thought and I looked at tumblr and remembered that I keep meaning to tell you that every time I look at your blog and its title I hear that Tatu song but like "all the things you are all the things you are/ running through my car running through my car running through my car" it's been like this for years I'm going back to sleep though

Do you people see what I have to put up with?