#thatwhitewidow

[nota1one]

@thatwhitewidow sent : receiver finds sender desperately trying to wash the blood off of themself . blood prompts .

walking into her room unannounced was a practice that had taken bob some time . no matter how insistent yelena had been that , provided she hadn't told him otherwise , he could let himself in whenever he so wished bob had refused and refused again to begin with . the thought of barging in without at least knocking first made his chest feel as if it might cave in , he'd squeeze his eyes shut tight enough to will the unwelcome sensation away before it would cause any lasting damage . like teasing a frightened dog out of its cage , bob had relented with gentle encouragement over the span of too many weeks - months even . now , however , it had become second nature .

he twists the door handle without even thinking about it , eyes focused on the new takeout menu he'd found on a kitchen counter - someone had thumbed it to death and abandoned it for bob to find . " hey . . . did you want take out ? found this menu in the kitchen . " the door shuts behind him , slipping out of bob's lazy touch of the handle . the silence is longer than what he's used to , it draws his attention upwards to a vacant room - ava saw her head this way fresh off the back of a job that should have been easy ; yelena had been the one to tell him so , wafting away his concern with a wave of her hand . he'd questioned it , but he trusted her enough to know she'd manage better without the weight of his worry clinging to the back of her mind . so bob had worried in secret , forced a smile and bid her a light - hearted farewell until she'd stepped into the elevator .

bob finds her bathroom door ajar , the gentle patter of water in the sink and the the soft glow of the vanity just crept around the door enough , signalling her presence there . she's okay , she just didn't hear him . he tries to think nothing of it , disregards the natural dive into the worst case scenario his brain tries to drag him into and swallows the fret that tastes sickly at the back of his throat . feet pad across the room , fingers gently push the door open just in case she's indecent . the smile he'd forced is gone in an instant , there's no fixed point he can rest wide eyes on ; there's so much blood . it thins and coats the basin when it mixes with water , but there's still so much left on her hands - her face - in her hair . " oh fuck - " bob's voice is guttural as he swallows his fright , blinks back the sting made by the sudden pounding of his heart ringing in his ears .

" yelena ! hey , lena . " hands reach for her damp set to still her . he'd dropped the menu to his feet , it settles in a small pool of water turned pink with two small drops of blood that had trickled to the point of her elbows . his socks are wet from it , but he gives the sensation no mind when his focus is entirely on her ; on the soft downturn of her lips , on every visible inch of skin for wounds , on the quiet sadness in her eyes . " hey , why didn't you come find me ? let me help . "

[etherealstarr]

@thatwhitewidow: “ Don’t you dare pin this all on me . ”

"'We've got this,' she says. 'Parachutes are for pussies,' she says." Ava let the life jacket do all of the work, now exhausted from all the treading. "Remind me who said that?"

[nota1one]

he could still hear it . the tick tick of the bedside table clock that had been abandoned beneath his bed months ago , gathering dust and devoid of batteries after bob had shoved it to the floor . he could still hear it . he'd flung himself over the edge of his bed countless times just to check the that batteries hadn't found their way back into their compartment , angrily waving his hand under his bed 'til fingers hook around the plastic . the device was quiet , long dulled out in the absence of fuel . he swears he could still hear it . bob had clawed at his head to scratch the sound from his brain , scalp left bruised and sore , but it was still there . lack of sleep gave way for unkind thoughts and self depreciation - not indented , it just bled into his nerves like the natural course of a stream . barricades always failed , and bob had lost the will to keep trying .

he hadn't been himself for days . kindness dulled out by too much but still he fought to maintain an act until that too gave way , as if he'd feel better again if he could trick his own mind into believing himself . it hadn't worked .

stop pretending like you care . his words had sounded so detached from his own body . tone gravely and measured , with enough bite to let the venom sink in that bit deeper . bob's heart had thrummed unnaturally as he let the words pass his lips , the pull of regret had shook his heart and thrown it off rhythm . but it was too late . he'd watched her approach with half lidded eyes that fought to keep from straying , something inside took her anger as a victory bob didn't want . there was nothing more he could nor want to say until she's leaving , and it's then the glamour drops , leaving bob exposed and punctured .

" not cool bob . " he doesn't know who said it , what he could grasp from the reprimand past the rapid beat of his own heart sounded vaguely like walker . bob could have sworn he was moving after her , muscles contracted in his legs in want to follow but a glimpse at his feet confirms otherwise ; frozen . everything is a blur when he eventually peels his soles from the floor and clumsily steps after her , blind to anyone he passes who mumbles a friendly warning to watch where he's going . it may have been bucky who'd asked why yelena had stormed by without a word , but bob did much the same to him .

" yelena . . . " he mumbles into the door , huffing with frustration and the gathering of breath from his panicked race to her room . bob wouldn't try the handle , wouldn't dare barge in if her door was shut and plainly unwelcoming of visitors . forehead rests against the surface , hands balled into fists so tight his nails would surely leave a mark in his skin . " m'sorry . . . can we talk ? please . " @thatwhitewidow cont .

[stickytm]

[ 43. ] sender harshly takes receiver by the chin, forcing eye contact.

maybe peter should have been a little more careful... but careful had never really been his thing. he had taken it upon himself to to some recon out of costume, to try & dig into whoever was in his city. he hadn't been able to shake the thought of yelena, dashing rooftop to rooftop. with her precision, her drive, there had been an art to her violence. new york city had a shifting menagerie of faces, it was hard to find the same one twice. but they had already crossed paths once. what if it happened again? what if they were fighting the same fight?

so, he had done some digging. enough to put him on her trail. quite literally. he's got his eyes on her now & he thinks he might be the luckiest guy in NYC. maybe he should have done this in spandex, but something about the signature blue & red stood out in a crowd. it was easier to disappear as peter parker.

unfortunately for him, she was ten steps ahead of the game. she had a way of dipping in & out of a crowd, becoming invisible in plain sight. when he finds her face again, she turns into an alleyway. there's only one way to go from here!

except, he doesn't see her. not at first, not until he turns to the crowd hoping to see her again. except, she's not in the crowd. she's right in front of him. when she takes his chin between her fingers, he forgets how to think. oh man. oh man. oh man. this was not how this was supposed to go. his heartbeat takes off, a million miles a minute. peter's mouth feels awfully dry. he tries to throw up a lie quickly, to play coy, " um. if you're after my wallet, i have bad news for you. "

[nota1one]

you can show me the blackest part of your heart. i will not flinch.

@thatwhitewidow : the lamb .

maybe  it  was  that  darkest  depth       of  his  heart  that  wanted  to  curl  his  lips  like  a  frightened  dog  and  spit  something  unkind all in the name of self preservation ;    pushing  her  away  by  his own  doing ,    or  the  doing  of  something  unpleasant ,    might  be  easier  to  adjust  to  than  the  unexpected  departure  he  anticipates  every  day .    pushing  her  away  was  never  what  bob  wanted ,    but  the  longer  she  dwelt  beside  him  the  more  he'd  fear  her  retreat -    because  she  would  at  some  point ,   wouldn't  she ?    loyalty  is  short  term ,   bob  had  found .   if  it  had  ever  been  found  at  all .    breath  is  hauled  into  his  lungs  and  sits  there ,    his  heart  had  been  hammering  away  with  such  intention  that  its  beat  echoed  long  after  it  began  to  still .

" that's  .  .  .    reassuring . "        though  he  nods  its  no  permission  for  his  mind  and  mouth  to  unleash  all ,    it  shouldn't  ever  come  to  that .        " but  you  won't  see  it ,   promise .    i - i  don't  even  want  to  know  how  bad  it  is  .  .  .    i  don't  think  there  would  ever  be  any  coming  back  from  it . " 

[s0tense]

can't we just sneak off ? no one will notice.

@thatwhitewidow : melt into me .

they'd  danced  around  one  another  all  evening .          fingertips  had   brushed  again  and  again  in  unspoken  acts  of  support ,     tugged  at  one  another  out  of  sight  behind  the  pleats  of  her  dress  as  a  promise  for  their  company  once  the  event  had  concluded .  mel  had  forewarned  each  of  them  of  the  night's  format ,     ensured  them  that  after  valentina's  third  speech  of  the  night  the  evening  would  come  to  an  end  at  11pm ;  bob  was  rubbing  his  temples  now  at  her  fourth  speech ,  his  watch  (  far  too  expensive  for  his  shallow  pockets  but  a  gift  following  a  recent  shoot  )  reads  11:46 ,  and  the  party  was  thriving  .

they'd  found  one  another  at  the  far  wall  away  from  val's  blabber  and  the  hum  of  activity .  naturally ,  bob's  hand  gravitates towards  yelena's  and  squeezes  for  comfort .  he  observes  her  now  he  knew  they  held  no  one's  attention ;  eyes  rake  down  the  length  of  her  dress ,  rolling  upwards  to  her  shoulders ,  jawline ,  mouth .  they  had  a  habit  of  slipping  away  together  when  their  patience  for  festivities  ran  short ,  valentina's  determination  to  ensure  each  and  every  new  avengers  event  remained  solely  about  her  good  work  and  selfless  nature  proved  useful  on  occasion  .  bob's  jaw  tenses ,  a  familiar  hunger  began  to  scratch  away  at  what  sane  thoughts  remained  after  the  dread  of  the  event  and  witnessing  the  event  play  out  precisely  as  they'd  expected  numbed  all  else .

can't  we  just  sneak  off ?   no  one  will  notice .

" would  it  matter  if  anyone  did ? "        he  eyes  the  main  doors  they  usually  avoided ,  crowded  as  ever  with  too  many  eyes  and  mouths  that'd  whisper  and  smear  rumour  at  the  tail  end  of  val's  campaign  for  popularity  and  profit .  he  watches  yelena  with  a  rare  bout  of  confidence ,  tightens  his  hand  around  hers  and  nudges  her  towards  the  doors ,  " c'mon  .  .  . "      

[prodiga1-m]

👀

" let's  seeee...  acrobatic?  check.  fun quips?  check.  cute  accent?  check.  could  probably  kill  me  if  she  tried  hard  enough?  check ... "  the  forefinger  of  dick's  right  hand  taps  a  fingertip  on  his  left  with  each  ' check ',  starting  with  his  pinky  and  working  its  way  down  his  imaginary  list.

" gonna  run  out  of  fingers  at  this  rate  -  oh!  the  little  nose  scrunch  she  does  sometimes.  and  then  there's  that  laugh...  anyway,  who  am  i  kidding.  the  answer  is  ' of  course  yelena's  incredibly  attractive,  ya  dummy '. "

does dick find your muse attractive? | ACCEPTING. ( @thatwhitewidow )

[talvisoldat]

@thatwhitewidow moved it from here

" it's not that bad . " a goddamn lie . although the hit to her ego was arguably worse . yelena returns more battered and bloodied than when she left . she assured them she'd be quick , loose ends she had to tie up . so minor it was barely worth talking about , she said . another lie . but yelena doesn't like to drag her friends into her own mess ... not if she can avoid it .  the most obvious injury is the slice to her arm . the top half of her widow suit is tied around her waist , a piece of loose fabric wrapped haphazardly around her bicep in an attempt to staunch the bleeding . " he got a lucky hit in . that's all ... stupid mistake on my part . " what she wasn't expecting was the look on bucky's face . disappointment , she thinks . that coupled with the way his thumb traces the wound on her arm makes her feel uneasy . she knows she'd be mad if he decided to go do something risky on his own ... but , yelena doesn't extend that same grace to herself , doesn't value her own safety the same way she values her friend's . " really ... i'm okay . nothing a few stitches won't fix . " 

"Not that bad?..... It looks bad." Bucky pointed out with a raised eyebrow, and he had a high tolerance for what was considered bad. "This is gonna need stitches Yelena..." He sigh as he brushed her hair out of her face. Her arm looked like a bit more than a lucky hit but if that's what she wanted to call it? Sure he would play along.

"Can i at least stitch it up for you?" Bucky asked her, tilting his head a bit. He wasn't disapointed, he was worried for the widow. He maybe wasn't as open with it as he should, but he did care about her and right now? She looked like she had been ran over with a tank. "Come on, let's go and get all of this cleaned up, okay?"