#the checkpoint

[ljdrawss]

A PETTY LINE OF WHITE NOISE. PACK UP YOUR BAGS- AND THROW OUT THE TOYS. THREE STRIKES, AND “HONEY, I’M HOME!” THE VOICES CALL FROM THE GRAMOPHONE.

[returntotheway]

Transformations, part four

The night after a dream of reclaiming my power (see part three), a Zhouyi reading of mountain-under-water, Overcoming Obstructions (illustrated above; its lines below) advised me to stop pushing and I let go of any dream intentions.

I then had another dream which sounds horrific, but wasn’t.

I’m on my way to meet up with some friends in a town when I see a beautiful green dress on sale in a shop window. My friend encourages me to try it on so I do, in a changing room full of personal bits and pieces. 

I remember looking at myself in the mirror and being amused at how blubbery my lips are; like Mick Jagger’s, I thought.

Then the view shifts and I’m watching events unfold like a film. The next scene shows me, after I’d inexplicably been murdered in some bizarre way, strung up by a complex web of strings high against the ceiling. 

The style of the film is more of a classy thriller than a horror, though, so when the point of view changed and I saw my chopped-off head sitting on the floor, I just thought “Really, that’s totally over the top; they’re not staying true to the spirit of the film!”

I’m then back in my body - or my spirit, rather, as I’m now a ghost. I see the shop attendants come and see what had happened and exclaim over it, though very mildly - certainly not running off to call the police.

I don’t feel anything except slightly bored, and wander over to look in a display cabinet before going upstairs, where, in classic ghost style, the floorboards creak beneath me. 

I hear a girl in one of the bedrooms react fearfully, and wait ‘til she opened the door to ask her curiously “Can you see me?”

When I woke, I considered what I was being told. I’d been asking Undlela to guide me down the White Paths for a few nights now, and this was my response. My first reaction to becoming a spirit myself - a future ancestor - was to go window-shopping, which felt like clear counsel to purify myself and my intentions more deeply first.

The next night, I asked Undlela to ‘guide me down my path with a heart.’ This confirmed my feeling of being assessed as not yet ready to go further, when I found myself at a checkpoint with bowls of drugs lying around and police going through people’s papers and possessions at length. This sounds like a paranoical situation, but it wasn’t - what I most remember is feeling a loving union with a kitten I held.

As with my boat-crew/bodyboard dream, it’s the process of revisiting my dream images and descriptions in order to write this account which is revealing further insights - one reason that I believe journalling dreams both verbally and visually is so helpful. 

Though I saw the dream as ‘confirming my feeling of being assessed as not yet ready to go further’, I now see another reality: my attention is being drawn to the kitten, which, though I faithfully portrayed it in my image, I passed over because it was a kitten: no serious inner-quester is going to share a revelation that kittens are cuddly and adorable! 

But, using my feelings as a guide, I’m being shown that the outer checkpoint isn’t the point; my own, inner feelings of love and resonance are my path with a heart.

Part five here

[ithacaishigh-blog-blog]

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The Checkpoint-Wiz Khalifa and Curren$y

These two guys make great team, great mixtape

[wise-dogon-blog]

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Wiz & Curren$y - The Checkpoint (this is the song that made me a wiz fan )