A/N: I'm obsessed with the conversations in Deadlock so I thought I'd write some x reader ones. It was basically like throwing darts at who to choose for this one and I settled on just doing four.
It also wouldn't be me if I didn't give reader a base of some kind so reader is kind of an avatar for an animal god. So think New Yorker Snow White (singing is optional). But I didn't bring it up much so don't worry.
The Doorman
Doorman: I find myself becoming fond of you. That's dangerous.
You: (chuckles) Why?
Doorman: I may…have to keep you inside the Baroness.
You: Not my idea of a first date but…I'll allow it.
Doorman: Delightful with a poor sense of judgement. You are enticing.
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You:……
Doorman: Is there something wrong?
You: Hm?
Doorman: You keep staring at me.
You: It's your eyes.
Doorman: My…eyes?
You: They're bright and blue and just so…mesmerizing.
Doorman: Bright you say?...Interesting.
You: Was that rude?
Doorman: No. I'm becoming quite fond of your odd compliments.
(I think that the brightness of The Doorman's eyes isn't really visible to most even other supernatural beings, so he's genuinely shocked that Reader sees it.)
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Doorman: It's quite a pleasant surprise to see you at the ritual.
You: And it's quite a pleasant surprise to see you taking a break for once, I was about to alert a union for you.
Doorman: I can assure you, I'm not being taken advantage of. But your concern is much appreciated.
You: Someone's gotta look out for you.
Doorman: (Smirks) I believe that would be my line.
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Doorman: Darling…
You: Dearie…did you like the flowers?
Doorman: I adore all of your gifts of affection, however…
You: Oh no…
Doorman: I would much prefer it if you were the one delivering them.
You:……People have been complaining about the pigeons, haven't they?
Doorman: Quite.
Silver
Silver: There's a high price on your head, dollface, and don't think for a second you're gonna use the ritual as cover from me.
You: Aww, and here I thought we'd patch things up just for the ritual.
Silver: I never forget a slight.
You: Really? You don't seem the type to a hold a grudge.
Silver: Let me correct myself…I never forget a slight from you.
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You: You're not still mad are you?
Silver: That you tied me up with my own bolas? No, I'm pissed!
You: In my defense, you made it very easy. I'm starting to think you like being tied up.
Silver: After this ritual, I'm going to maul you and any animal that comes to help.
You: If you can catch me.
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You: I'm curious. How do you usually find me?
Silver: Simple. I've got a really good nose so I just sniff out the coyote smell that's suspiciously close to a strip mall in Washington.
You: Well that's not fair. Washington has a lot of coyotes…probably.
Silver: Inside of a shoe store though?
You:……I should invest in some cologne or perfume.
Silver: Oh yeah, cause smelling like a lavender scented squirrel is a better idea.
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Silver: So who was the loser I caught you with?
You: Loser?
Silver: Yeah, the sap that couldn't run from me fast enough when I found you.
You: Aww, is the puppy jealous?
Silver: Nope. They're not enough of your type for me to be jealous.
You: Maybe I changed.
Silver: You'd never settle for someone that couldn't keep up with you, dollface.
Mina
Mina: Your little animal friends keep growling at me. It's rude.
You: Yeah, I don't if you remember but you're a walking corpse. It ain't natural as far as they're concerned.
Mina: Well, tell them that if they growl again, I'll turn them into a coat.
You: Mina, sweetie, try as you might, you couldn't even skin a fly…but I'll tell them to try and be a little nicer to you.
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Mina: You know, you'd be much cuter if you didn't smell like you bathed with pigeons.
You: Pigeons are actually the cleanest this side of the Mississippi. Definitely cleaner than prissy baby bats.
Mina: (scoffs while blushing) You…annoy me.
You: I'd annoy you less if you didn't try to be a smart ass every five seconds.
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You: I'm not gonna have to worry about some evil ex coming to hunt me down for flirting with you am I?
Mina: (Rich girl laugh) Oh trust me, I'm not seeing anyone.
You: And your parents? Someone like you doesn't get their snobbiness from nowhere.
Mina: Even if my parents had a say, I'm the vampire and they're not.
You: Yeah, that's all I needed to hear.
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Mina: You know when I become the Viscount of New York, I'll be needing a companion. Maybe I can even share the dark gift with you.
You: I mean, I'll be your companion but I like being able to walk in the sun. Besides, I think my patron would prefer if I stayed mortal.
Mina: Hm. You'll change your mind once we're married.
You: Once we're married? You're quite presumptuous, aren't you?
Mina: When I want something, I take it. And I'll be making sure that you walk down the aisle.
The Drifter (Yandere tw)
Drifter: Well, well, do my eyes deceive me? Or is that my little red rabbit?
You: (eye roll)
Drifter: Come now. Don't act like you don't know me. I still see my teeth marks on your gullet.
You: I shouldn't be surprised that a potential bloodbath summoned someone like you.
Drifter: (Evil laugh, sniffs the air) You have new friends.
You: I guess that's the only thing I can thank you for.
Drifter: How many of them you think I gotta tear through to get to you again, red rabbit?
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You: Why are you following my birds?
Drifter: Cause I know they'll lead me back to you, red rabbit?
You: And you want to find me because….
Drifter: I like looking at ya.
You: Well that's…unfortunate to hear.
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Drifter: You like my gift, cher?
You: Did you just ask me if I liked the bloody earrings you left me?
Drifter: It matched yo little birdie's coat.
You: It still had an ear attached to it.
Drifter: I ain't hearing no 'no'.
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Drifter: Don't worry, red rabbit, I'll make sure not a single hair on that head is harmed.
You: By everyone else or by you?
Drifter: (Evil laugh)
You: Yeah that's what I figured.
