Stan of Mystery aka Don't Talk to Stan or His Half-Zodiac Wheel of Kids Ever Again
This is a referring to fic written by @maridrawss
This is a concept I came up with months ago but didn't actually do anything with, just told a few friends about it. Mari wrote a one-shot snippet as a gift, however.
What was the concept?
In a lot of fanworks about the mysterious Journal 2 canon AU which Ford calls A Better World, a lot of interpretations include Stan either being dead or alone. I conceptualized a What-if where Stan also had a happy life.
But it does come at a cost; after taking the journal back in the 80s, Stan is still completely cut off, and uninterested in reconnecting with the Pines family.
This concept comes in two versions; the first concept, and the revised concept. Mari's fic is mainly about the first concept, but some parts about the revised concept do make their way into it as well.
First Concept
A Better World Stan Finds His Own Happiness.
In the 'Better World' scenario, Stan had taken Fords journal and disappeared. In this story, Ford calling him back over just to tell him to leave and go as far away as possible, while also telling him that this would be the only worthwhile thing he'd ever do in his life, made Stan... done. Done with Ford. He no longer wants to reconcile. He doesn't ever want his twin back in his life.
He decides from then on, that he isn't going to grieve over the loss of his relationship with Ford or the rest of the Pines family, because it's clear to him that those feelings aren't reciprocated. He does what Ford asks, he sails away and hides Journal #1, but more than anything he decides he doesn't need Ford in his life to be happy.
So he makes his own happiness out of spite, and creates his own family. For the most part, he's a fisherman in Portland- he spends most of the year docked in a coastal town (Portland), but spends summers in the arctic circle dealing with anomalies (under the guise of Worlds Deadliest Catch style extreme fishing) because of his innate proclivity for trouble and love for adventure. He also has like... a ton of kids. Some bio, some adopted, but all of them his. Unquestionably.
His boat is not called the Stan O'War or Stan O'War II, it's called the "Stan of Mystery", they also have a nautical shop / maritime museum, where Stan sells overpriced nautical supplies, and displays interesting items he either found at sea, or forgeries he made up (not unlike the Mystery Shack). It’s probably still called the Mystery Shack, but it might also be called “Mystery Shanty” instead.
His kids are familiar characters, but their circumstances are different to fit into the timeline and scenario:
Jesús "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez-Pines. Age 22. Biological. Stan was married to Soos' mother, but she died in childbirth, making him a widower. Abuilita still lives with them and helps with childcare, she's practically become Stan's Ma at this point. Stan was 36 when Soos was born.
Soos is the oldest and is thus the ‘chill big bro’ of the group. Soos is also responsible and loyal, so he and Wendy sometimes butt heads because she often wants to slack off or cause mischief (not unlike Stan). Soos is very close with Pacifica, as they play video games together. Soos is the jack-of-all-trades when it comes to running the shop and doing repairs, but he doesn’t seem to have the same ‘sea legs’ as the rest of the family, so he runs the land shop and stays with Abuelita when the rest of the family are out at sea.
Since they live in portland, Soos went to middle+highschool with Melody and they are highschool sweethearts, they are currently married and have been since 21 (they got engaged at 18).
Soos has six fingers on his right hand.
Wendy Pines. Age 16. Biological. Her other dad is Manly Dan, who is a trans man, but he wasn't ready for a kid, especially since Stan was older than him (plus the whole experience of pregnancy made his body dysmorphia worse), but at least he pays child support. Stan was 42 when she was born.
Just like how Soos is the one with the most skill when it comes to running the land shop, Wendy is up to Stan when it comes to the hands-on tasks of running the ship, particularly dealing with monsters whether they be monster fish or monster anomalies. She’s a boxer just like Stan. Although Manly Dan didn’t have anything to do with her for the first few years after she was born, he started reaching out when she started school. She isn’t as close to him as she is with Stan, but she will visit him during school breaks. She has three brothers through him - Marcus, Kevin, and Gus. She doesn’t know who their other parent(s?) is, given Dan not being married. But there’s a non-zero chance that one or more of them are her full blooded siblings, since Manly Dan and Stan still have an amicable relationship.
Wendy has six fingers on her left hand.
Robert "Robbie" Valentino-Pines. Age 16. Adopted. Stan was good friends with Mr. and Mrs. Valentine, but when they died in a car crash when Robbie was five, and had no other relatives, he ended up in Stan’s care. Stan was 47 when he adopted him.
He’s the technological guy of the group. He runs the sonar/radar/radio tech of the ship and the shop. He isn’t particularly brave or skilled, but he is much smarter and more technical than his siblings. He’s also crafty, as he creates the things that Pacifica imagines, which are usually accessories of some kind. He didn’t have the easiest time bonding with Stan at first, because he was old enough when his parents died to remember them, and he didn’t want to replace them. But his friendship with Wendy endeared him and Stan to each other, until they could properly be called father and son. If Stan’s up to some kind of scheme, he’d either drag Soos or Robbie because while Soos is a yes-man, Robbie is more grounded and practical.
Pacifica "Paz" Northwest Pines. Age 12. Adopted. She was lost out at sea from a sinking of her families yacht when she was only two years old, and she survived by clinging onto a loose life preserver, when the Stan of Mystery came across her. It took a few weeks for Stan to dock, and when he saw the headlines of Pacifica being missing, he tried to return her to the Northwests. But the Northwests received so much publicity of being 'the heartbroken couple who tragically lost their daughter' that they paid Stan hush money to not give her back and keep her a secret. Disgusted, Stan does not use the money himself, instead saving it for Pacifica's college fund. Stan was 48 when he adopted her.
She likes really girly stuff, which sometimes confuses Stan but he tries not to deter her from these interests (although, he limits the amount of makeup and hair dye she uses). She likes cooking and baking, calling pancakes ‘Pazcakes’ not unlike Stan and his Stancakes. She also really likes fashion, so she’s the one who designs the outfits and uniforms for the family. She is very close with Soos, who introduced videogames to her. She is also close with Gideon, because they’re the closest in age. She knows she’s adopted, but she does not know the circumstances of her adoption; Stan doesn’t want to hurt her feeling by letting her know that her parents willingly gave her up for sympathetic media attention.
Gideon Pines. Age 10. Biological. Stan loves Gideon but he isn't exactly proud of how he came to be - he had a fling with a woman who he didn't know was married (Mrs. Gleeful), and she dumped the baby on him nine months later because her husband found out and would leave her if she kept the baby. Stan was 48 when Gideon was born, and this was either shortly before or shortly after Pacifica joined the family.
Being the baby of the family, all of his siblings and dad are very protective of him, which he loves and hates. He is going through a rebellious “I hate you dad” phase where he butts heads with Stan (or at least tries to, it's one-sided and Stan knows he doesn’t mean it) and he keeps calling Stan by his first name "Stanley" instead of dad or pa, but Stan finds it funny and antagonizes him about it. He appears to have psychic powers, able to sense anomalies / ‘weirdness’, something he must have inherited from Caryn (but better).
Gideon has six fingers on both hands.
Weirdmageddon happens in the main Gravity Falls timeline, and somehow the Institute of Oddology finds out that Bill Cipher is dead. Ford had been hosting Mabel and Dipper this summer just like the main timeline and seeing these twins made him miss his own more than he already did (he does love Stan, he isn’t some unfeeling asshole. Just a regular asshole).
So the moment he finds out that Bill Cipher is dead and they never have to worry about him again, Ford immediately tries to reach out to Stanley. And it isn’t easy, because Stan basically fell off the planet Earth once Ford sent him away; and he told Ford under no uncertain terms to never, ever contact him again. But Ford ignores that last part. Surely after three decades he’s softened up to the idea.
Eventually, he does find a number listed under “Stanley Ramirez-Pines” and tries to call him. Over and over. But even when someone answers (it's never the same person in a row) they hang up on him. But Fords waited thirty years, and he isn’t going to give up.
He tracks the number down to a nautical shop in Portland called “Mystery Shanty” and knows it must be Stanley’s because only he would come up with a name like that. And he drives up there with the twins.
Their arrival coincides with Stan’s ship returning from the arctic circle, and Stanford goes up to the docks to get his attention.
And after thirty long years, he finally sees his twin brother again.
Only to be flabbergasted when he sees Stan isn’t alone - he has five kids with him, some grown and some not. But all of them have a symbol from the Cipher Wheel somewhere on them (either on a hat or on their fisherman coat). There’s also an older woman who seems to treat Stan as though he is her son.
And Stan’s not impressed to see Ford again, and tells him not to talk to him or his half-Zodiac worth of kids ever again.
I imagine his decision to ignore Ford after his first attempts at reaching out was like:
Stan: I dunno kids, I know it’s been a long time but I’m afraid that letting him back into my life and having that hope for something better is just going to hurt me again.
Gideon: Hurt him first, Pa.
Pacifica: Yeah, be petty about it.
Stan:
Stan: I’m listening.
Revised Concept
In this concept, a lot of the same points are the same, but there are very big differences.
The first being, rather than just disappearing, Stan goes out of his way to fake his own death, similar to how he did in canon.
Rather than hide his true identity by adopted Ramirez as a second surname through marriage like he did in the first concept, Stan changes his name entirely; his new name is Silas Birch, as a completely unsubtle nod to the legendary conman, Silas Birchtree.
As such, his children in order of acquirement birth are Soos Birch-Ramirez, Wendy Birch-Corduroy, Robbie Valentino-Birch, Pacifica Northwest Birch, and Gideon Birch.
Stan's ship in this is also called The Worthwhile, as a spiteful nod to Ford's words;
"I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life!"
The thought that he had so little worth to his own family, to his own twin brother, that one mistake is all it took to lose all of it, never quite left him. And in a way, he still views his own worth as what he can offer to others (in this case his kids and Abuelita) rather than inherently having worth all on his own.
Their land shop, a cross between an ocean themed museum and bait and tackle shop (like the Mystery Shack, just nautically themed) is called the Mystery Shanty. While they are at sea during the summer, it's run primarily by Abuelita (and later Soos, as he has a better aptitude for it than he does for ship life).
Because Stan faked his death, Ford has gone decades thinking that he was dead this whole time. Just like the above concept, he does not try to reach out to Stan until after The Institute of Oddology finds out of Bill Ciphers demise. But this time, he finds out about Stan by pure accident.
Pacifica runs a series of family vlogs on Youtube about her families adventures in the arctic circle. Her father, however, is noted to never show up in her videos; he doesn't like showing his face on camera 'for some reason', so he's either seen from behind without his face visible, or his voice is off screen.
Mabel, who was visiting her Great Uncle during the summer alongside her twin brother Dipper just like in canon, is a big fan of Pacifica's videos. She just happened to be playing one aloud on her phone and watching with Dipper when Stanford happened to be walking by, and it was right when Pacifica's dad voice could be heard.
And of course, Ford would recognize his brothers voice instantly. Even after decades.
Mabel would excitedly info-dump about Pacifica and her channel - about how her younger brother has six fingers on each hand just like Ford! Oh, and her two older siblings have an extra on one hand each-.
A trait they must have inherited from their father 'Silas', but their father doesn't seem to have six fingers himself... Almost as though he has the six fingered trait on a genetic level, just doesn't physically present the trait.
Also, Pacifica and her family are returning to land soon! They always dock a few weeks before the school year starts- Great Uncle Ford, why do you want to go to Portland all of a sudden?