"Unveiling the Chatterbox: Understanding 'She Speaks A Lot'"
"Yaar ye kiitna bolti hai?"
I've often heard this question from friends, family, and even strangers who barely know me. But has that ever stopped me from speaking? Nope. You might be thinking it's rude of me to disregard a genuine concern about my talkative nature. However, I see it as a situational comment.
Recently, I was engaged in a serious conversation with someone new on my college campus. We were discussing the typical student existential crises, and, being myself, I became deeply invested in the conversation. I spoke at length, delving into my thoughts and wanting the person to know that I genuinely heard and understood them. Then, a fellow student politely asked me to lower my voice. I understood where they were coming from; I tend to speak quickly and loudly. So, I toned it down to accommodate their request.
There have been other instances as well, like at a family gathering where I shared my thoughts during an adult discussion. I couldn't help but overhear the exasperated voice of a well-meaning relative saying, "How much does she talk?" In such situations, I feel the person is wrong unless I've said something inappropriate or immature.
These two incidents are just a couple of examples of how people have tried to rein in my speech. Let me share with you the power of speech I inherited from my extremely talented father. He was once a radio jockey and later pursued a career in the expressive world of the corporate sector. During my schooling, he encouraged me to express my thoughts freely. However, right before college, he imparted a piece of advice that he had learned the hard way and continues to learn: speak less and choose when to speak wisely.
During my first year of undergrad, I might not have fully heeded this advice, but as I gained more experience, I understood the importance of knowing when and where to speak. Not everyone will share my sense of humor or interpret remarks in the same way I do. My journey of mastering the art of speaking has been ongoing, and I doubt it will ever truly end.
I'm the type of person who, when sad or angry, might go silent for a while. Those close to me become concerned about my lack of speech during those times, while those less familiar with me see it as a respite from my sometimes overwhelming conversations. I'm the kind of person who fills silence or voids with speech. Just as some people eat to fill the void, I speak. I'm awkward, what can I say? I can't sit still, constantly fearing that others might be quietly judging me or getting bored. I often dislike silence, but the newly discovered ambivert in me seeks silence when I'm with people who share that comfortable silence.
As an inner romantic who's currently single, I long for someone who can tolerate my nonsense, random quips, facts, old memories, and discussions ranging from world politics to pop culture moments. I desire someone who can walk with me silently during our late-night strolls. Returning from my dreamland, what I'm trying to convey is that the characters I relate to are often as talkative as me, like Geet from "Jab We Met" or Kitty from "That '70s Show." However, lately, I've started to see myself in observant yet talkative characters like Aisha from "Wake Up Sid" or Phil Dunphy from "Modern Family."
I'm the type of writer whose thoughts are all over the place, but in my defense, my writing serves as a way to channel my talkativeness onto paper (or Instagram captions). I believe I've begun to learn when to speak in class and whom to share my thoughts with. But I still occasionally reveal my crazy side in front of those who make me feel comfortable. This can sometimes land me in trouble, but that's what this journey is all about, right? The process will guide me towards the right balance of enthusiasm and confidence in my speech, knowing when and where to express myself.
Life will continue to teach me how to proceed, but for now, I'm going to keep learning, speaking, making mistakes, and repeating. To conclude, do you think you talk too much or too little?
