#theblacksmudge

[fatalism-and-villainy]

(the books ask thing) 17+ 24!

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

The problem with DNFing is that I don't remember which books I DNFed... I only record the ones I finish. (I don't have Goodreads, so we're operating off my personal list on my phone.)

That said, I don't remember DNFing any books this year, unless you count the readings I didn't get through for this semester *hangs head* I feel like there must be some, because my focus for reading hasn't been great since the start of the pandemic, but I can't think of anything off the top of my head!

[fatalism-and-villainy]

Top five musical artists you're listening to at the moment?

1. Lucy Dacus - I got into her via @ciaran and I just adore her. There’s something so incisive and unflinchingly honest about both her lyrics and her delivery. Favourites are Night Shift and Pillar of Truth. 

2. Sufjan Stevens - I recently bought Carrie and Lowell so I’ve been giving that a listen again, and it’s just so incredibly realized as an album. Every track has a particular life of its own, but it feels extraordinarily cohesive at the same time.

3. Mariah Carey - I recently listened through her entire discography (or at least, her main studio albums), and I’ve rarely seen an artist who’s been so versatile over the years. Her early stuff sounds so distinct from the kind of music she was known for in the 2000′s - the shift from her late 80′s, early 90′s adult contemporary bent to the more hip hop based sound is really remarkable. Few other pop musicians managed to stay relevant and inventive over such a long period of time. And she’s co-written pretty much all of her songs, which I always appreciate in recording artists. 

4. The National - Exactly the kind of somber-yet-jittery quarantine mood that I need. I love pretty much every track from High Violet, but there are a few crunchy ones from Sleep Well Beast that I’ve been really into - Dark Side of the Gym, Carin at the Liquor Store, and I’ll Still Destroy You in particular. 

5. Jeremy Loops - So I’m really only listening to his first album, and his later stuff has yet to grab me - maybe I need to give it a more focused listen - but I’m really attached to his early stuff. He kind of reminds me of Hozier, a bit, except a bit more down-to-earth in sound and lyrics. Down South, Skinny Blues, and Basil are my favourites.  

[fatalism-and-villainy]

N, for the fandom ask thing?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

Both the Silm and The Untamed have things I want more of, so I’ll do this for both!

Silm:

Man i just miss the days when long headcanon posts full of cultural/societal worldbuilding were popular as a form of engagement. Maybe they still are and I’m just not following the right people, but I still feel like the particular style/content of those posts isn’t around anymore? I think a lot of what I post and write has been Noldor cultural headcanoning, and I’ve got more planned for that (and a little bit about the Vanyar as well), but I do wish there were more! Same for Númenor!

I’d like more Fingon/Maedhros that wasn’t so.... traditionally romantic? I don’t even mean in affect, necessarily, but just in terms of not structuring the relationship as if it’s the One True Life Partnership for both of them, and that an ideal end goal for it would be to last forever? That’s very distinct from how I see them as relating to each other, and I think their significance to each other has very little do to with traditional relationship paradigms, especially those that are build off of het relationships/marriages. Again, I certainly would like to write more about them in the future, but in the meantime, it’s hard to find content XD

“Very genuinely invested in being a good person, but also invested in appearing good, in a manner that blinds him to his actual shortcomings and misguided ventures” is my preferred characterization for Finrod, and the vibe I get from fandom now is either “an idiot” (no!!) or “flawless paragon of morality” (absolutely not). 

The Untamed:

God, I would absolutely kill for more Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji content that centres LWJ’s emotional needs and involves LWJ being comforted and taken care of and shown love. He’s also insecure! He also feels he’s not deserving of love! He’s also not used to the level of care and intimacy in their relationship! Chop chop fandom! 

I have unfortunately developed a mild resentment towards 3zun content, not only because I Do Not Vibe with Nie Mingjue, but because it’s a MUCH better threesome when his little brother is involved instead! XD More awful Nie Huaisang/Jin Guangyao/Lan Xichen permutations pls. (The more serious point for this is just, more JGY/NHS in general.)

More Madam Yu content! More headcanoning about her sect and the role of women within it, and its relationship to the gender dynamics of the rest of the cultivation world! More about her relationship with Jiang Cheng! More about her friendship with Madam Jin! Just... more! 

There’s probably so many more points I could make for each fandom, but these are the ones that immediately come to mind. 

[fatalism-and-villainy]

i haven't unfollowed you because i think you're pretty cool and always have interesting Thoughts on things that i enjoy reading (even if its not on a topic i really know a lot about). i also think we have broadly similar opinions on things where it can be hard to find ppl who think similarly AND have them be people whose presence you actually enjoy

god that last part of so real...

thank you!!

[fatalism-and-villainy]

theblacksmudge replied to your post “it’s crazy to me how many gays kissing on TV there are nowadays - like...”

oh god, honestly... my sister is 7 years younger than me and its a fucking trip seeing how different things are for her. she had to write about the history of the pride flag for class - when i was at that school we got one lesson on how being gay is ok and that was it. it trips me up every time, seeing how fast things changed. its great ofc, but i cant wrap my head around it

haha oh boy, we also had nothing like that.... I think we got, like, an assembly every few years with guest speakers telling us to stop using “gay” as an insult? And that’s about it. And back when I worked at camp, I was always surprised by how much the kids knew about queer and trans stuff. It really is surreal. 

[fatalism-and-villainy]

lilacsandcarnations replied to your photo “This sort of thing is part of why I don’t straight up call myself...”

where does this leave stuff like hard femme? this just feels like a 1950s PSA but gay

theblacksmudge replied to your photo “This sort of thing is part of why I don’t straight up call myself...”

this really reads like some shit from the 19th century praising Good Angelic Womanly Women; its definitely pissing me off just as much

“femme is caring for other people” really does have that effect huh

Like the really jarring thing for me is that my main association with “femme” at this point (and its main appeal to me) is either through gay men, or through trans people. Like, where’s the subversive, genderfucky potential of femme here?

sparklecryptid replied to your photo “This sort of thing is part of why I don’t straight up call myself...”

Oh god that just sounds like a rebranded gender role I was trying to escape

Also I thought femme was a style not god damn personality traits

No, Keith! Femme isn’t an ~aesthetic~, it’s an ~identity~ (never mind that they’re not mutually exclusive and that queer people often have a rich and complex relationship with their style and embodiment)! And it’s definitely not about what makes you comfortable, it’s only relevant to what kind of relationships you’re in (because that’s not patriarchal at all)!  

[fatalism-and-villainy]

paradife-loft replied to your post “God, this is a deeply annoying post. As if the problem is “depth”...”

also the juxtaposition of depth and genre as if they're mutually exclusive :|

yup, i thought the exact same thing

theblacksmudge replied to your post “God, this is a deeply annoying post. As if the problem is “depth”...”

also im tired of how cmbyn has become a symbol of 'problematic gay films', its just clear its the only one these people know

seriously, though, it’s hella sanitized. and the age gap business frankly is much less of an issue in the story’s particular context than people make it out to be, considering they’re more or less in the same situation re: living in Elio’s parents’ house and being basically financially dependent on his parents. It’s also funny considering that the portrayal of sex is actually super in line with how people on tumblr always talk about how sex should be portrayed (i.e. “we need more sex scenes that aren’t perfectly choreographed and in which things are awkward and funny and realistic!”) Also the soundtrack is great. 

intpdreamer replied to your post “God, this is a deeply annoying post. As if the problem is “depth”...”

I'm also so fucking tired of one person trying to be a figurehead of the LGBT community and determine what kind of representation all of us want, because my own tastes in media are so different from those kinds of people and who exactly do they think they are to "fight for representation" by trying to get rid of things most LGBT people I know actually /like/

“fight for representation by trying to get rid of things” is exactly the issue, tbh. Having a broader media landscape is a good thing! Having more narratives and models to draw upon is a good thing! And for myself, even for stuff that I don’t like or find distasteful, I’m much more interested in analyzing how this narrative actually functions within the broader societal narratives from which it arose, or what new information about unspoken biases can be gleaned from it, rather than “is it good/bad.”   

[i-believe-in-u]

b 4 % (there might be more accurate vampires but idk the shows two of them are from 😅)

BESTIE I love you and I feel so very, very loved. Thank you, my darling!