He didn’t quite understand what was going on when he first woke up. There was a strange warmth and light around him and memories of the past flashed through his mind.
Regret came to his senses first and he cried, curled up on the ground. He felt like some weakling but part of him needed to let out all the hurt somehow and it wasn’t like he could displace it onto anyone or anything else. He was dead, he was gone—alright, not completely gone. At least he hoped he wasn’t completely nonexistent. But memories of those things he’d done still hurt him inside.
There were small comforts in the silent world he was in, though, and they came to him after all the bad memories washed through him. He might never find out where exactly he was, though he had a few theories. Perhaps he was in some sort of afterlife? Or maybe he was absorbed by the Outsider completely when he broke up into those blue particles, and now literally inside the Outsider in some sense. He had a feeling it was closer to the second theory. But wherever he was, the warmth and light was soothing in a way.
And...it helped him to think a little. Though he was alone, he felt like as if someone was always watching him warmly, like the tender gaze of a loving mother. It was comforting. Strange, for sure, but comforting. It was okay. He could get used to this.
Maybe one day he could get himself to open up if he ever saw anyone else ever again, and get closer. That would be nice.