#theliebesteroriginal

[theliebester-blog]

I'm tired.

I'm tired of living a life founded on micromanagement and deception. I'm tired of living with things being said about me in hushed and hidden tones. I'm tired of living and being judged for who I love and what side of the store I want to buy my clothes from. I'm tired of living a life where the person I chose to love oh so dearly is judged for just the same. I'm tired of living this lie that I have to hide from everyone around me. I'm tired of living and hearing the voices in my head say worse things than you guys could ever yell at me. I'm tired of living in a world where everyone's truth is founded on hatred and those same truths are in my own home. I'm tired of living with passionate anger for the one person who put me here. I'm tired of living a life for everyone else and not myself. I'm tired of living, but there's no way I'm dying. I'm too proud, I'm too afraid, I've got so much to live for, I love her, she needs me, I need her, I'm going to do something great, I'm defiant, there's so much more writing to do. I've got a family to build and pets to adopt and furniture to remake. I've got so much here. That's why I'm still living.

[theliebester-blog]

4

the first was just to get me started

the second was deeper to make me feel something

the third kept me going it kept me from ripping my hair out

the fourth was to  finish me off to bring closure to all that i just bled

[theliebester-blog]

spilling

i walk in the shadows of this earth the cold air is all I breathe anymore the damp grass is all I feel the smooth blade feels cold on my skin this earth was made for people like me the people who draw their faces on well used chalkboards and put their lips on almost anything that is comfortable

[theliebester-blog]

Lack of Limits

I would let your love for me Rip me apart into tiny pieces. I would let your love for me Pin me down and hold me still. I would let your love for me Free my mind to it’s own imagination. I would let your love for me Push me miles away from my comfort zone.

[theliebester-blog]

Recurring Nightmare

The voices have come back The demons have come out to play I’m trying to silence them But I’m trying to no avail Please help me shut them out Please help me not care

[theliebester-blog]

My Escape

I’m blasting the loudest music I have, Not caring about my steps, Heck, I may even be singing a bit, But it’s quiet here. I’m sitting alone, A pencil in my hand, paper on the table, I seem to have drawn a face, It’s so quiet here. I’m yelling with all of my other friends, We’re joking about everything, Nothing really matters to us, And it’s quiet here. I can’t believe I found a way to make it stop.

[theliebester-blog]

You Don’t Even Know

Let’s be real: You left me. You took a sledgehammer To someone who was already broken. And you thought it was okay. How does someone justify that? How do you feel knowing that you caused anxiety? How does it feel to not have someone there for you anymore? As the person you did this to, I’d like to give you a A sarcastic thank you And a swift screw you.

[theliebester-blog]

My Hope

I hope you feel the pain you caused me. I hope you feel regret. I hope you understand that I forgive you. I hope you know that I won’t forget. I hope you find out about my depression. I hope you find the anxiety. I hope you hate your decision. I hope you feel guilty. I hope you know I still love you. I hope you know that I still care. I hope you miss me. I hope you remember.