summary: during picture taking of the twins cutesy monthly birthday milestone photo shoot. terry unexpectedly takes this opportunity to remind you of a not so cutesy milestone in your relationship.
paring: terry richmond x black reader (Dallas)
content: fluff, mentions and allusions to body fluids, crude humor, allusion to nsfw acts
a/n: welcome back to another installment of the thunder and lightning universe. hope you like it. as always feel free to like, comment, and reblog your thoughts :) and if you feel like it...send me a letter.
You absolutely loved the difference in the personalities of your twins.
In fact, for being twin girls they had both managed to have always found a way to unintentionally distinguish themselves apart from the time they both came shining from your womb on June 3rd as the pair of Gemini twins that your Gemini husband had so desperately wanted.
Each having their own unique glow about them.
Your eldest by five minutes and twenty six seconds, Tiana Michelle Richmond, was almost every bit of your husband not only in face, but in spirit and personality. The quieter and more reserved of the two, she was everything positive Terry had hoped for his girls to gain from him. Polite, mannerable, sweet, perceptive as hell at her young age, but most of all disciplined in a way that he’d seen grown men unable to reach. With a big heart and an abundance of gentle kindness for anyone she encountered, she was your “moon child”. Her glow was soft but still strong enough to illuminate and beguile all those who meet the teensy human.
On other hand your second, Edith Denver Richmond, was the fire cracker of a child that you just knew was your reckoning in life for how you treated your poor mother in your adolescence. And while she may have also stolen her Daddy’s face along with her sister, this one had been sure to rob you of your personality on her way out.
She was hard headed, stubborn, tempered, but most of all, she possessed a smart mouth that had been known to challenge yours since the time of her sassy babbling as an infant.
And while you were to blame for some of her more…rougher characteristics, you believed there were others she’d also inherited from you like your determination, strong will, and that famed Dubois family charm. All of which paired well with the strength, charisma, and fascination to learn she’d gotten from her father. Always outspoken and the loudest in the room at her tiny size, your sunshine girl was perfect.
Thus, creating two very different little girls, who together, kept you and your husband on your toes since the moment they arrived.
“ C’mon, baby girl. Give Daddy a smile.” Terry cooed at the three month old twins, both laid out on the special blanket reserved for their monthly milestone pictures. Each dressed in a cute ruffled navy jumper and matching bows.
You watched as your husband, all 6 '4 and 248 pounds of him, was at the mercy of two small 13 pound babies. With one giggling and smiling in appreciation of her father’s antics, while the other just blankly stared. Clearly unamused, with a small scowl resting on her face.
“ There’s a smile. Show off them’ gums, girl. Pretty mama.” He cooed at Tiana, snapping a few pictures before turning his attention to Edith who still refused to smile.
“ C’mon now, Tiny. Please. Smile for Daddy. C’mon sugarfoot. Smile.” He reached down to grab and playfully tug at her little feet, only to result in a half a grunt and her pulling her foot from his grasp just as quick as he got it.
You laughed watching an identical frown appear on his face at the stubbornness of his daughter, “ Really Edith Denver. That’s how you gone do your pops? Hmm? The same man who slips you extra tiddy milk when your mama won’t give up the tap.”
It was your turn to frown now, “ Uh excuse me, who do you–”
Quickly he silenced you with a plea, “ Hold on, mama. I can only handle one attitude filled Richmond lady at a time. Now back to you, little girl.” He turned.
Frustrated he groaned, “ Look ya’ mama is rich and ya’ daddy is good looking. Now smile, baby. Please.”
Curiously you looked on at the frustrated giant, unsure if his phrasing of the famous line was correct, “ Poppa, I think you said it backwards.” You giggle, watching your husband’s animated movements that made your eldest squeal in glee. “ I think I’m the one who's pretty and your suppose to be rich.”
“ Nahh.” He held up the camera in one hand, the other waving Edith's favorite stuffed lion around, “ I said it the right way, Miss two time funeral director of the year. I know you sitting on all that cash, under all dat’ ass. Business is booming.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you.
“ Terry.” You blushed, chiding his language, “ Don’t talk like that in front of them, babe.”
“ Girl, please. How you think they got here? .” He smirked, “ Besides they’ve definitely heard worse from both of us while they were in utero. You remember the Denver trip? How this little mean gnome here got her middle name and why?”
Vivid memories of yours and Terry’s unexpected lover’s getaway to Denver, Colorado had flashed in your mind. It had been a wild couple of days of fun skiing, food tasting, and absolutely filthy sex all of which unknowingly resulted in you getting pregnant.
" You damn near flooded our hotel room, girl. Never had I ever had to pay a cleanin' fee at a hotel until I married your freaky self."
Almost immediately you went into a defense, “ Hey! Ain’t nobody tell you to do all that to me, sicko! Poor cleaning lady had to wipe it off the walls, all because you wouldn’t listen and let up. How was I supposed to know I could do that?! I barely could control my legs let alone that!” You recalled your rather...explosive reaction... to certain tricks your husband had pulled that night.
“ Aye’ I never heard the magic word. So I proceeded to do my thing, and I’m glad I did cause that’s the day I learned how to turn on that there firehose you got on you. Damn sure put out my fire that night, and I LOVED IT.” He goofed, licking his lips in an exaggerated manner and blowing you a kiss.
“ Here’s the proof.” He pointed to your two oblivious babies who babbled away, eyes darting and exploring the room, “ Aren’t they cute? Daddy’s babies.” He cooed, “ Turned y’all mama every which way but loose for three days to get y'all here. But hey. I got ya’. Even if it meant leaving a tip as big as a piece of cabbage cause y'all mama wanted to play fire woman that one night.”
An audible gasp of horror overpowered the sound of your husband’s deep laughter at your expression, since you couldn’t believe was speaking this way in front of your angels, “ Terrance Richmond.” You groaned, half laughing as you picked up a decorative pillow, hitting your husband’s bareback with it. “ Excuse you, meathead. But don’t be acting like it was all me Mr. “ oh yeah, baby. Don’t hold back. Let me feel it. Let me feel you get wet for me.”
“ I know what I said, woman.” He laughed, moving to poke and attempt to tickle your sides, “ But what I didn’t say was to hose me down, mama.”
“ OH MY—Ugh!” The two of you laughed and joked as you continued your playful assault on your husband until not one…but two tiny giggles accompanied yours and his laughter.
Looking down you were surprised to see the wide and drool riddled smile on Edith’s face as she practically burst her gut laughing along with her sister, who too found amusement in their father’s fluffy misfortune.
Immediately Terry's eyes narrowed something silly as he reached to scoop up the giggly baby, “ So that’s it, huh Miss Denver. That’s the winning ticket to get you to smile. To watch Daddy be mistreated by Mama.”
“ Boy, ain't nobody mistreating you. If anything you're the one out here embarrassing me, telling our children about how they were made. What’s wrong witchu’.” You laughed.
“ Boy?” His head snapped your direction, eyebrows raised in a clear signal to allow you to ‘ try that shit again’.
His eyes danced with glimmers of the same mischief that had gotten you in this position of folding endless piles of baby garments in the first place, “ Nobody is mistreating you, sir.” You corrected yourself.
“ Better.” He acknowledged, “ But don’t worry, my love. They won’t remember this.” A hand came to rub you on your back, “ Besides, I’m proud of what we did that night in that hotel room. It was a big milestone in our relationship and unknowingly the start of something so absolutely beautiful for us.” He said, placing his daughter back next to her sister and being absolutely mesmerized by the image of your two gorgeous and healthy girls laying and kicking their chunky legs around before him.
You smiled, joining in on the admiration of what your love for one another had created. It had been a long and bumpy road to get them here, but all the baby scrunches, little yawns, and first smiles had all been worth it, just like you knew being able to raise them would be worth more than anything you could have ever imagined.
“ It was, wasn't it, Poppa.” You sighed, moving over more so you could find your way into his lap, he welcomed you, arms receiving your body into his embrace.
“ Of course.” He pecked your neck, “ Just the same way the next set will be an even bigger milestone for us after we take that trip to Peru this summer.”
Immediately your eyes bugged out of your head as you began trying to wiggle and shift your way out of his grasp, “ Dear, Lord. He’s lost his mind. Terrance I am not giving you another set of twins?! Are you insane?!”
You turned your head to look at the way he was biting on his lip, head leaning to nuzzle into your neck, “ They’ll need brothers…or more sisters.”
“ Plus I’m trying to see what that thang’ do when I give you this hot five alarm kinda love on a balcony somewhere.” He said, “ Imma’ need it on full blast and ready for duty.”
" Oh brother." You groan, accepting the kisses and small love bites in glee from your husband and eventual father of all of your children.
Summary: You feel you must be honest with Austin about something before either of you venture further.
Contents: Fluff Ofc! Mentions of virginity and loss of virginity. Overall just a good ole' fashion comfort fic (our favorite).
Pairing: Austin Butler x Black Reader
A/N: Hi! Long time no see! I'm very happy to be posting the first installment of the new year, and I am very excited for what it brings for all of us. I hope you enjoy.
P.S: Everyone PLEASE feel free to comment, I absolutely love reading them and it helps to motivate me to keep going with the series. Also don't shy, re-blog, like, and share if you care! Much love! * hugs*
----
“ I can’t believe you don’t like cotton candy. This almost feels like a crime.” Austin goofed, pointing to the small thing of strawberry cotton candy in his hand.
You snorted, “ I can’t believe you do. It’s all nice and dandy until it deflates or melts on your fingers. After that it’s gross.”
" Plus, I prefer a nice fat funnel cake with all the fixings." You added.
“ You call it gross, and I call it the natural sacrifices one has to make for their favorite fair food. “ He wiggled his eyebrows and took a bite of the sugary confection.
You giggled at how cute he looked and even managed to take out your phone with your free hand to snap a picture of the happy cotton candy boy.
The two of you continued to laugh and joke along the Santa Monica Pier until you came to a comfortable pause of silence.
That’s when your heart sank at the realization that this was the perfect time to tell him what had been on your mind and heart the last couple of days. You’d even consulted your friends beforehand to make sure the time was right. Once they agreed you knew exactly what had to be done.
So right here, right now, you were going to rip the band-aid clean off in hopes it wouldn’t bleed.
“ So….” You swung his hand in yours, “ I hate to put some weight on the mood since I know we’re having such a good time.” You started.
“ Yeah..” Austin replied, tossing his now empty cotton candy paper in a nearby trash.
“ And I can say that these last couple weeks with you have been great, honestly. But I feel like before we continue whatever this is that we’re doing, I need to let you know something because I don’t wanna lead you on.” You said, twisting at the bracelets on your wrist.
“ Uh huh.” He encouraged me, beginning to feel a bit nervous now.
“ As you recall, the other night when you came over to return my copy of The Policeman, upon your departure during our goodbyes things got a little spicy an- “
Austin immediately went to into apology, “Again, I’m really sorry about that I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything I jus-”
Quickly you held a hand up to stop him, “ Please. It’s okay. You apologized more than enough the other night. Just wait a second and hear me out, okay. “
He nodded.
“ As I was saying. Things got a little steamy. Let me just mention again that nothing happened that I didn’t want to. But the thing is….”
You paused gathering your words right in your brain…
“ I guess I’m trying to figure out a way to say this without sounding completely vulgar.” You rub your now sun-kissed arm as if you're trying to brush the nerves out of your body.
Austin’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “ Oh. Uh, well. I mean..just say it. Honesty is the best policy and I’m sure I can handle it.”
“ Yeah? “
“ Yeah.” He quickly replied, curious to see what you’d spun in your mind so obscene that you felt like you couldn’t speak.
You cleared your throat, “Okay. Fine. Here it goes..”
“ With the way that you kissed me that night with your lips, clung your hands onto the edges of my hips, and the sounds I had to suppress from the deepest part of my being when your hand accidentally brushed against my…lower half. I had half the mind to offer for you to stay the night at my place just so that we could “ accidentally” keep touching each other in many, many different places all night. “ You divulged.
At your confession Austin's eyebrows shot up and he could feel his body begin to heat the same way it did that spoken of night, you could tell this by the soft peony color that collected on the surface of his cheeks and the way he looked away to watch the wheel turn on the Ferris wheel.
You did your best to hide the shy twisted grin on your lips that came from knowing that you’d made him blush.
When he turned back you could see the cheesiest smile play on his lips , “ I see. Well thank you for your honesty..it’s much appreciated.”
“ You’re welcome.” You gulped, “ So, with that being said I want you to know that while I’m not opposed to us taking our-”
“ Relationship.” Austin offered up.
It was your turn to raise your eyebrows at him. You hadn’t expected him to so casually throw out the R in this conversation. But remembering the words of your friends ringing in your mind you decided to play it cool and test the waters, “ Right. Well, let me just say that no one has asked me to be their girlfriend yet so….”
“ I’m working on it. “ He said, you noticed the small bit to his lips and willed yourself to try and keep your mind focused.
“ We’ll see.” You casually replied before continuing with your intended statement, “ But something you should know is….”
You found the words getting stuck in your throat, but when you looked his gentle smile you found the courage to keep going.
“ You should know that I am a virgin.” You confessed, “ And it is by choice.”
“ AND, before you say anything. NO! It’s not because I couldn’t have had sex with someone or because people weren’t interested. Or because something’s wrong with me. But because I believe that sex is an intimate exchange of love between two people and I want my first time to be with someone I love and I know is in love with me.” You affirmed.
“ If that’s something that bothers you or you think it’s weird or whatever, then this is where we should just call this now so we can both leave this…thing…while still being friends.” You finished, looking out toward the pier in an act to distract yourself from how hard you could feel your heart beating in your chest.
It was silent for a moment after you finished, and with each passing moment you were preparing yourself for the age old speech every man gave when he couldn’t get what he wanted from a woman.
It’s not you, it’s me.
When really they wanted to say: “ It’s not me, it’s you and the fact you won’t put out.”
Eventually his voice broke out among the chatters of people and whirl of the wind, “ Well, again. Thank you for being honest with me. I really do appreciate it.” Austin began.
“ No problem.” You nodded, arms folded across your chest, as you still tried your best to hide your absolutely nerve ridden body.
“ As far as your…confession goes, I want you to know that you being a-
“ Virgin.” You quickly interjected, “ I’m a virgin.”
A laugh was stifled from Austin, “ Yes, a virgin. You being a virgin doesn’t bother me any at all.”
You quickly quirked an eyebrow at him, “ Really? “
“ Truly.” He smiled, “ Your choice that you’ve made for your body is entirely your own. And I respect and admire your decision.”
“ Admire? “
That’s a first.
“ Yeah. I admire your reasoning behind your choice. Especially since I felt like when it was my time I didn’t exactly lose mine the way one should have. I was younger and shy. Felt the peer pressure from some people my age, so I just went ahead and did it to say I did it.” He opened up.
You were stunned a bit at his honesty. No guy you’d ever come across had opened up to you like this, especially about something so intimate. All it did was make you grow more curious to continue exploring just what kind of species of man you were dealing with.
You shook your head, “ God, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can tell you from experience I know what that’s like and it’s hard.”
Growing up around the people you did, all through middle school and high school you were ridiculed about being a “ prude “ or a “ prissy princess who thinks she’s better than everyone “ all because you kept your virginity to yourself.
He smiled, “ Thank you. But don’t go feeling too bad. I eventually had the chance to actually make love to someone and have it mean something. Which is all I can ever wish for you and anyone else.”
You nodded, “ Right. Well thanks for being so cool about it. Lord knows you’re the first guy this conversation has ever actually gone pleasant with. I appreciate your understanding.”
Austin didn’t hesitate, “ Of course. You gotta know that I’m not in this for something as simple as sex. As people we both could walk out into the world and find that anywhere.”
“ I’m here because as cliche as it may sound, I’ve never met anyone like you before. And I really enjoy spending time with you and picking your brain. And if one day AFTER I ask you officially to be my girlfriend, you decide you wanna take things up a notch that's fine. If not, that's fine too because that's not the most important thing going on here.” He reached out to regrasp your hand in his and give it a tight squeeze.
You look over directly at him to hold the gaze from his eyes and couldn’t help but catch that familiar feeling that made you all warm and gooey.
It was then you could confirm that you REALLY liked him, like truly were infatuated with the man before you.
“ Well, I guess we’ll just have to see what happens, huh? “ You said.
“ I guess.” Austin smiled.
“ Good.” You whispered.
“ Great.” He replied, making you both bust into a fit of giggles.
“ Since we have that settled. “ Austin abruptly stopped in front of the ring toss stand, “ I believe I promised you, young lady. A stuffed cow, and I see the most handsome one hanging from this booth.” He pointed to the adorable white and blue spotted cow plush hanging from the stall.
You couldn’t stop the shrill that invaded your voice, “ Oh My Gosh! Austin, he's adorable.”
“ I know. He’ll look even cuter in your arms. C’mon honey let’s go.” He happily ushered the two of you over to the booth and into your future together.
i hope you're doing well! thank you for the ask, and also for reading!
to answer your question, absolutely!!
reader at times does let her bratty side out!
Mostly you can find Austin taming bratty reader when she is tired, annoyed, or truly in an overall bratty mood.
here is an example:
*NFSW*
“ You okay?.” Austin softly whispered softly above you.
All you could do was nod as your body came down from the rather intense high you’d just experienced. Today you got home with a ” little nasty attitude” that you’d unintentionally tried to exert with Austin. But he wasn’t having it, and instead after three strikes, your third being a sideways remark to him during dinner, he'd plucked you up out of your seat right then and took you to the bedroom to try and literally fuck the attitude out of you.
“ Good.” He sent a shiver through with his touch. “ You did such a good job for me. I know we must be feeling better now, baby.”
Still you just nodded.
“ C’mon and roll over so I can take you to go pee.” He leaned down to press a kiss in his shoulder.
Instantly at the thought of moving out of your comfortable spot, you shimmed your body away a bit.
“ Hey.” He curiously laughed as he had never seen you do this before, “ Where do you think you’re going .” He reached out to grasp for your calf but you still managed to scooch away from his touch.
He frowned, “ Baby, stop it. C’mere so I can take you to the bathroom.” Austin half kneeled on the bed so he could reach up for you.
“ Aus..” You whined, scrambling deeper into the bed and away from his grasp. “ No, wanna sleep. Tired.”
“ Y/N.” Austin chided, his voice had dropped several octaves so you knew he was beginning to lose some of his patience just the way he had earlier.
Still you continued to crawl deeper into bed.
It was quiet for a couple of seconds and you could feel the warm embrace of sleep beginning to take hold of you, until it was replaced by the smack and sting of his hand connecting with your ass. Your hand instinctively went to rub at the area but was shooed away by a bigger one.
“ Aus! T- OH!-OW!“ A shriek escaped you at the feeling of your ankle being grabbed and your body dragged down to the edge of the bed.
“ Why are you making me repeat myself? Huh? “ He turned you over. You looked to meet his eyes and they danced again with flickers of annoyance and lust in them.
“ I’m just tired.” You whimpered.
“ No, honey I don’t think you are. Because if you were you wouldn’t have the energy to be this bratty. Did I not wear this pussy out? She still aching for Daddy's special attention, mama? ” He reached out to run a hand against your puffy and swollen folds making you jump and whine at his touch.
“ After four rounds of splitting you open and stuffing you full, you still have that little nasty attitude, huh.” He purred, grabbing both of your legs to secure them around his waist. "
“ No! Daddy I don’t! I’m jus-Ugh! “ You gasped, feeling him slide back inside of you.
He was quick to attach his hand to your neck, gently pulling just enough.
You squirm underneath him at the intense feeling of his cock dragging through your overworked and sensitive cunt, “ Daddy—please. It’s sensitive.” You whined and pushed at his hand that worked to play at your overstimulated little clit.
“ Shoulda thought of that before. Now c’mon. Be a good girl and take it. Use that attitude baby.” He muttered, sticking his face in the crook of your neck to suck on the spot that made you cream all over him.
Summary : What happens when all the secrets start to tumble out and the truth about many things starts to unravel...including people.
Contents: BIG OLE JUICY ANGST. I mean this is what some of you all wanted. But caution this installment includes the following: DRAMA! Allusions to and discussions of abortion. Arguing between friends. Accusations. Tension. Allusions to rough childhood upbringing. Hospital setting. Cursing. Protective/Anger Austin!
Please read with caution.
A/N: Hello Beautiful Humans! I hope you're all well. Here it is. The Second installment. I hope you enjoy it. Just a reminder next installment (3) will be the finale. Thanks so much for the love and reading!
P.S Feel Free to comment and send me letters about thoughts, feelings, or anything else! And also comment if you'd like to be added to the taglist.
Much love *hugs*
Taglist: @wacoshuffle, @purejasmine
---
“ And do you remember what it was like when you stepped into the studio for the first time to work with Baz and the crew? What that moment was like when you realized what you were about to fully do? " The interviewer asked Austin.
Austin nodded offering a somber smile as he tried to grasp his words, " Of course. Yeah..it was..ummm..."
He'd been asked this question before probably fifty thousand times and usually answered it with ease, but today the thoughts weren't coming together.
Instead his mind was somewhere else, his mind was with you.
All night long last night Austin had tossed and turned thinking about not having you in his arms, and the look of hurt replaying in his brain over and over. He wanted nothing more than to get up and go down the hall to your bedroom to scoop you up and love on you until you let him fix all your problems.
But knew he couldn't because he needed the boundary.
He needed you to know he was serious.
For the rest of the interview he politely muddled through it while giving his best efforts and little attention.
Once they wrapped he thanked the interviewer and staff before making his way off the soundstage.
As he approached his awaiting team, Austin couldn't help but notice the grave looks on their faces they were doing their best to try and hide.
Kate, his publicist looked extremely antsy and nervous, while James, his agent stood beside her with a monotone expression holding Austin's cellphone.
" What's going on? " He asked looking between them.
" Aus. You need to take this." His agent stuck his hand out with the phone.
Immediately Austin could feel his heart sink to the floor and anguish walk over him.
" Is everything alright? " He asked hoping to God nothing serious had occurred. " Who is this? "
" Can't say. Just take the phone." The man beckoned.
Skeptically accepting the device, he pressed it to his ear and took a deep breath before speaking, " Hello? "
As soon as he heard the voice on the other end his scrunched in uneasiness, " Grace? Whoa--Hey! What's the matter? "He tried listening to your sister go on a mile a minute until he stopped her dead in her tracks when she revealed your whereabouts.
" SHE WHAT? "
———-
Upon arrival to the hospital you'd been admitted to the OB fifth floor and Alana had made the rounds calling everyone she could think important to call, which included Alex, Phoebe, Beatrice, and your co-worker, Tia, who she knew you were good friends with.
She left the family calling to Grace whom she'd talked to on the ambulance ride.
Phoebe then called your uncle in Texas, uncle in London, and grandmother who was traveling in her retirement.
But amongst those calls Alana made, still Austin's name wasn't included. When Grace asked if Austin had been called Alana told her that in the ' heat of the moment ' she'd forgotten.
Grace then volunteered to do it leaving Alana's hands clean.
After they all were informed Phoebe was the first to show with her kid sister, Sprite, in tow who was visiting for the week on a school break.
Soon after followed Alex who came in looking distraught as she had just fought her way through bounds of LA traffic to get there as fast as she could have from set.
And Beatrice also came in with her husband, Santiago, as they both apologized for the wait citing how they would have been there sooner but had to frantically find a sitter to take their youngest who was out of school.
Avery had also called Alana and let her know that she'd been caught in afternoon traffic on the freeway and would get there as soon as possible.
All together asking a thousand and one questions, they hadn't been the least bit calm until one of the nurses had come over to assure the group that while you were stable, none of them would be allowed to see you until the doctor okayed it.
Calling Grace back when a nurse questioned who was the physical next of kin, it was revealed that she had already been in contact with the hospital staff and the person who was granted power of physical next of kin, was Phoebe.
Eagerly waiting to get a update they all sat praying and hoping for your well being until the doctor would come to notify them with a update.
Fifteen minutes later...
They could hear him before they seen him, Austin had practically came barreling into the open area of the fifth floor OBGYN sector with members of his team behind him.
He looked completely disheveled with his shirt wrinkled, suit jacket half off, hair moussed like he'd been running his fingers through it every five seconds, and his face were wide and extremely alert as they zipped from place to place in panic.
He went first to the nurses' station to try and gather information, although everything he said came out fast and jumbled.
But while he still looked around in a fearful daze, he then spotted the group nearby and by passed the check in nurse at the desk, to charge toward them and immediately go into question.
" What the hell happened? How is she? Where is she? I-is she okay? " Austin moved to try and walk down the hall toward the rooms determined to search each one until he found you, but was stopped gently by Phoebe's hand.
" Aus wait. It's the room three doors down, but we can't go in there right now. The doctor just went in and they're running some tests. We don't know much because they wouldn't tell us really but what we do know is she is stable so they say." She looking at him empathetically.
Austin just shook his head not understanding, " What do you mean ' so they say ' ? And why wasn't I called AS SOON as this happened? Who was all there with her? " She just collapsed? " He threw out looking around at the group.
Before anyone could answer him, their heads whirled around at the sound of the room door opening and closing.
Seconds later they could see a nurse exit followed by a doctor who began walking over to the group, " Is this the family of Y/N L/N? " She asked when she stood in-front of them.
A multitude of keen yeses could be heard, " Wonderful, now if there anyone here that is next of kin, or a supp-"
" She's my wife." Austin cut her off. Nodding the doctor was about to continue but heard a voice speak.
" He's the fiancée. And Phoebe is technically the appointed next of kin as we've been made aware." Alana could be heard correcting from the back.
All turning to look at her, some in disbelief and others in distain, still the doctor continued, " Well I can say she is still stable. But I can only go into detail with whoever is appointed next of kin and I also can only allow this person in the room for visitation right now." She informed.
" Austin should see her first." Phoebe spoke up, " He's her fiancée and her family, so I consent to him going in the room but once you're done all I ask is for you to come update us as well. We're her family too. " She decided giving the go head.
Turning his gaze to Phoebe who nodded in encouragement, Austin in return mouthed a 'thank you' and then brought his attention back to the doctor.
" Hi I'm Dr. Mackenzie Floyd, I'm the head of the OBYGN department here at Emory Moss. " The doctor informed reaching out to shake hands with Austin who in return offered his extremely clammy and shaking hand.
" I'm Austin. The husband." Austin introduced himself while making sure to put a extra emphasis on his last words so Alana could hear.
" Nice to meet you. I'm sure you're eager for an update on your wife and would like to see her, so why don't you follow me. " Floyd motioned.
The two them set off to your room leaving behind the group who'd begun to chatter.
When inside, as soon as he saw you lying there, all the air in his lungs seemed to leave all at once and his hands began to feel ice cold against themselves.
You looked like you were sleeping.
Finally relaxed and not so uptight and tired like you'd been.
And while he was glad you were resting, he still couldn't shake the aching need to want to see your eyes pour into his.
" So just give it to me, doc. How's she doing? " Austin asked still not taking his eyes off you.
With a sigh Dr. Floyd began, " Well Mr. Butler it seems that your wife's collapse was the result of a significant drop in her blood sugar and pressure. When she came in her vitals showed that she was a tad bit under nourished for our liking so we've put her on a standard saline trip as well as fluids. Her weight is also lower than the standard at this stage so that's something else we'd like to work on. We suspect she hasn't been eating or hydrating the way she should. " She revealed.
" Overall she also seems to be quite tired. Has she been sleeping at night at all?" Dr. Floyd asked.
Austin thought back to the late nights in your office you'd been pulling and the tossing and turning he could feel come from you during the night.
" As of recently, not much. Usually she is a stickler about her sleep and tries to get a strict nine hours a night. But that hasn't been the case as of late." Austin confirmed.
Dr. Floyd, " I understand. That's not unusual though at this stage. Many women experience some form of insomnia early on and it can be an adjustment. But just to be safe we'll give you guys some options of what you can do at home to combat this." She finished taking down some notes.
Austin nodded still not fully understanding what she was getting at.
This stage? Early on?
Still he was trying to wait until he felt she was finished to ask questions.
" But on a happier note, we've a extensive amount of tests and the baby's vitals are strong. Placenta looks healthy. There's thankfully no signs of trauma or malnourishment. They seem to be hitting all their markers right on schedule." Dr. Floyd informed knocking the wind out of Austin.
Hold on.
Baby? What BABY?
Grace on the phone nor anyone else hadn't mentioned anything about a baby. So what was truly going on here.
" I'm sorry Dr. Floyd. " Austin put his hand over his duly aching head as he tried to process the information that had just so casually been given to him, " Forgive me, but did you say a b-baby? As in my wife is pregnant? "
Dr. Floyd cautiously motioned for a nurse via the window to step into the room to check on Austin who'd gone a bit stiff as a board.
She carefully went on, " Why yes, Mr. Butler. Your wife is in fact nine weeks pregnant. My apologies I thought you knew. One of the friends disclosed the information to EMTs in the ambulance on the way here."
At the sound of her last sentence like a switch had been hit, Austin's head snapped up and he became all too alert now with a twisted expression of fury and chariness being displayed.
It was like he could feel his entire body be stricken tense as he forced himself to ask, " Do you by chance know which one of them that would be? "
—-
When Austin entered the new private waiting room the group had been moved to, they had all been too quick to jump up and toward him to form an unintentional circle around the man.
As he looked around at his fiancée's friends he was doing his best to keep his composure.
Never had he ever had any real problems with these people, he knew how much your friends meant to you so ever since they'd all been introduced he'd done his best to at least get to know them all and be cordial. Go to parties, be polite at hangouts, bite his tongue on occasion.
And sure him and Alana had had a couple of tiffs here and there, but nothing the two hadn't been able to uncomfortably fake a laugh about and keep their distance after.
So that's why it was mind boggling to him that after hearing from the doctor herself that Alana knew about your pregnancy this whole time, it was shocking that she'd stooped so low to make the decisions she'd had of keeping it a secret and icing him out.
Breaking Austin's thought process Alex was the first to speak up, " Well..how is she? Is she okay? Lord knows we've been praying." The look she carried was one of pure concern, like her face wouldn't physically be able to rest until she heard the news.
Looking around he could see that her sentiments were shared as everyone also looked on anxiously wanting to hear, " She's okay." Austin spoke followed by a harmony of sighs and deep breaths released , " Doctor said that she'll be on bed rest for the next couple days since they want her to replenish her energy with sleep and meals. She was dehydrated and tired. Thank god she didn't get to hit her head. I'll have to just watch her closely is all at home, but she'll be okay." He explained taking in the relieved facial expressions of everyone, everyone but Alana who instead held a hard look to herself while the two participated in a unsanctioned staring contest.
Austin knew he should have taken the high road and privately addressed the woman, and any other time he truly would have.
Ya' know, acted like the gentlemen his parents raised him to be.
But alas something dark and petty took over him when he seen the look on Alana's face. Anger and resentment pooled through his being. These feelings prompted his next choice, " And as for the baby.." Austin purposefully dragged out.
As if everyone had suddenly been cast in a stop motion picture, all movement ceased and heads all snapped in his direction at a eerily slow pace. Faces of shock and confusion were everywhere.
Beatrice's knees seemed to buck underneath her and Santiago with the help of Phoebe ushered the startled woman into a seat. While Alex looked on rapidly blinking like she'd been punked.
Alex's voice rose above the silence, " Austin. What do you mean as for the baby. Are you trying to tell us that, Y/N. I-is pregnant? "
He ran a hand across his mouth as he could feel himself getting upset, " She indeed is. She's about nine weeks along. Baby is healthy though, thank god." He confirmed, voice still hard. "
In shock Beatrice shook her head not being able to wrap her mind around what was occurring as everyone did the same, " No. no. no. That can't be, right. Austin that can't be right. I mean we would know. She would have told us. Are you sure?" She tried reasoning looking all around the room.
Austin nodded. From their reactions he knew that Alex, Phoebe, and Beatrice couldn't have know. As a actor he also recognized their reactions were too raw. And if Bea didn't know Santiago surely didn't, plus Sprite was only a kid who didn't even live here which knocked her off the board of thought about who knew.
" Well, Bea. That's the same thing I thought until the words came out the doctor's mouth herself. Only thing is she didn't find out from any of the tests. She said that one of Y/N's friends informed the paramedics that she was pregnant in the ambulance." He revealed.
Puzzlement spread across the room on every face but one.
Immediately Phoebe who'd been quiet while trying to process spoke up, " Well that can't be true because none of us knew." She looked around the room at all of her friends hoping that not a soul had kept something like this to themselves. " Right, ya'll? "
" No it is true." He started, " Isn't it Alana." Austin spoke turning his attention to the woman who'd been quiet the entire encounter. To him she'd always had this holier than most attitude about her, but right now she wouldn't get that right with him.
And it rang true, as she held a look of complete casualness to her face. " You were one that told the EMTs that Y/N was pregnant aren't you? I mean it couldn't have been Avery because before I came in here I ran into her. She didn't know anything and she wasn't in the ambulance. In fact she was shocked. Even though she tried to follow the ambulance she got caught in traffic on the way here. After we spoke I told her she could go home and I'd keep her updated. "He revealed.
All eyes were on Alana now, six pairs keen on her.
But still she wasn't going to let anyone see her sweat. Instead she just keep her cool. " I was." She simply stated.
" Lana you knew? " Beatrice's eyes bucked thinking about how a few days ago she'd sat through a whole dinner with Alana and she hadn't said a word. " And you didn't think to say anything?"
" Yes, Beatrice I knew. I was there when she took the test." She stated matter of factly.
A bitter chuckle emerged from Austin, " Of course you were. Isn't that rich." He continued laughing and clapping to himself, taking a seat while everyone looked on in bewilderment.
" Alana when the fuck was this? " Alex questioned flabbergasted and needing to know how long had this been going on. How long had they all been kept in the dark.
Groaning she started, " About three weeks ago when I came to drop off the final details for the Pace book-tour to her/ She'd opened the door and looked like she'd been crying. I mean a downright mess. " She recalled.
" After practically prying it out of her she confessed to me that she'd been upstairs in the bathroom trying to build the nerve to take some pregnancy tests. Said she hadn't been feeling well and that Aunt Flo had been MIA. After she calmed down I offered to stay with her while she took them and the whole time we waited all she did was worry and cry about how scared she was about the whole thing and how this hadn't been in the plans yet." She explained.
Austin recognized the day she was talking about. He'd been out reading some material for Masters of Air and when he'd gotten home that night you'd already been in bed asleep, and weirdly enough it was also the night that you stop letting him hold you.
" After all the tests came back brightly positive I could barely get her to stop panicking. It was horrible. It took about a hour before she partially stopped. She made me promise on my life I wouldn't tell anyone. She felt like she didn't wanna ' inconvenience those around her ' is what she said. From there she worried about what she should do, and I let her know that she had a number of different possibilities to explore. The end." She concluded folding her arms against her chest.
" So that's it. You just agreed with it and encouraged her to go through it all alone." Phoebe scoffed, " Knowing that I- we would have all wanted to be there for her." She corrected herself quickly knowing her emotions were ab out to get the best of her.
" It was her choice, Phoebe. And she wasn't alone. I helped and talked to her often enough. All she ever did was worry about the type of mother she would be and how she was going to raise a child at this point in her life. I did all I could to console her." Alana challenged.
" And how much of it was actually comfort and encouragement rather than added confusion." Alex icily shot out.
" Hey! I encouraged her to do what was best for her. I encouraged her to explore all her options without the interference from others ." Alana seethed.
" Wait? What do you mean encouraged her to explore all her options? What options? " Austin questioned standing up from his seat. His face was stone cold. " What does that mean? "
Again all eyes shifted to Alana.
Still unwavering Alana repeated, " Like I said. I encouraged her to explore all her options. She needed to know that her life didn't have to change if she didn't want it to. Especially if it's not something she really wanted it. I mean why should she have to put a possible end to her career and fall behind in life for something she wasn't a hundred percent sure she wanted. At one point she asked my opinion and I told what I thought would be best. " She shrugged still maintaining her eye contact with Austin.
" Which was? " Alex beckoned her on. " What did you say? "
It was no secret that Alana had no desire to have children whatsoever. In fact the only children she truly tolerated was her friends.
Her most famous line was, " I detest anything that crawls. Bugs, most animals, and most of all, children. Wastes of time and resources."
She believed parenthood was obsolete task.
Tearily looking to the ceiling in distress Beatrice said, " Alana you don't mean you had her consider..." She brought her eyes to search Alana's face for her to dispel what she thought may be true.
But still Alana remained silent.
And the silence was almost deafening.
" Alana...look me in my face and tell me you didn't try and tell her that having an abortion was her real best option...say you didn't do that without getting her the proper mental help she needed to make a decision like that.. say it isn't true." Phoebe interrogated with the rest of the weighing silence of the room.
Locking eyes with a teary eyed Phoebe, Alana figured with her being Y/N's best friend and all. She was the only one she felt needed a explanation.
" Yeah I did. It's her body so she should have taken in to account all her choices across the board. Plus she wasn't sure she wanted to be mother. Why go through nine months of uncertainty. Why take such a huge gamble." She confirmed.
At the confession the whole room feel into a chorus of reactions.
Santiago comforted a now crying Beatrice. Phoebe took her leave of absence since she could feel herself getting to a point of unreasonable anger. And Austin had begun slowly pacing the corner of the room while doing his best to piece together what he just heard.
" Oh my god." Alex whispered moving across to the other side of the room. " Oh my god. " She spoke louder. " OH MY GOD." She yelled before turning to Alana. " HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER. HOW COULD YOU PROJECT YOUR OWN SHIT ON HER LIKE. THAT." She yelled.
Face twisting in offence she returned the energy, " IT'S HER BODY AND IT'S HER CHOICE." Alana shouted.
" OF FUCKING COURSE IT IS. IT'LL ALWAYS BE HER CHOICE. BUT SHE ALSO WASN'T OBVIOUSLY IN THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND TO TRY AND BE MAKING DECSISIONS LIKE THAT WITHOUT SOME FORM OF HELP OR GUIDANCE. GUIDANCE YOUR BIAS ASS WASN'T GIVING HER! WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL US SO WE COULD HAVE HELPED?" Alex questioned.
" I WAS GUIDING HER." ALANA screamed, " GUIDING HER TO SEE HER FULL POTENTIAL! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HOW TORE UP SHE WAS. HOW SCARED AND MEEK SHE LOOKED. SHE DIDN'T WANNA TELL ANYONE ELSE. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO. IT WAS A SECRET."
" YEAH BUT YOU OUT OF ALL OF US SHOULD VERY WELL KNOW HOW SOMETIMES IN A FRIENDSHIP, THE WELL BEING OF THE OTHER PERSON TRUMPS KEEPING A FUCKING SECERT. AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS BABY ISN'T HER DREAM! " Alex shot back.
" I KNOW THAT BEING JUNIOR EDITOR IS ONE OF HER DREAMS. AND TODAY SHE TALKED ABOUT THROWING IT ALL AWAY ON A UNSURE GAMBLE IN LIFE. I ENCOURAGED HER TO DO RIGHT BY HERSELF ABOVE ALL ELSE."
" No what you encouraged her to do was not only keep us her family in the dark but more importantly her fiancée because of whatever reason you gave." Beatrice spoke up amongst the yelling. As a mother she felt a certain cord struck inside her at Alana's comments, " And what the fuck would you know about motherhood. Yeah it may be a unsure gamble, but it's the biggest win I've ever gotten out of life. But you wouldn't ever consider seeing it that way because your obsession with wanting to be successful enough to prove people wrong in your life has projected on to others. And i-t's toxic." She finished honestly.
At this Alana felt some of her wind be taken from her. Never had she heard Beatrice speak to someone this way, let alone her. So it not only took her by surprise but to her dismay, it stung.
" I agree. " Spoke Alex calmer now, " I mean did you even stop and consider her life with Austin in all of this?
Holding back tears of her own to look at Austin who remained silent she shifted her gaze back to Alex, " Who gives a fuck about that. ITS HER LIFE. HERS. Everything isn't always about him. And that's exactly why I advised her not to say anything to him until she made a solid fucking decision so he couldn't influence her as always."
Alex and everyone else watched in horror as Austin's head immediately snapped into Alana's direction, but before anyone could intervene his voice carried, " You. " He seethed, " Had ABSOLUTELY no fucking right to try and decide what my wife should and shouldn't be telling me. NO RIGHT! " He expressed pointing a accusatory finger. The tone in his voice made Beatrice and Alex both flinch.
They had never seen Austin the slightest bit upset really, let alone livid. So this was a whole new side of him to see.
But he couldn't help it. Where the fuck did she get off on saying something like that to the love of his life.
Alana's neck curled around to look at Austin shooting him a glance that could out anyone six feet under, " She's not fucking your wife. And she surely isn't your child or someone whose life you can dictate! She has dreams and goals! A-and values! But she's about to throw all of that away! FOR YOU! " She hissed taking strides closer to Austin. " Just because you spent the better part of your last decade long relationship constantly wishing that you'd been with a more housewife material girl. Doesn't mean that you can turn my friend into your little housewife to clean, cook, and shoot all your babies out whenever you so please." Alana raged.
Beatrice swallowed the sizably growing lump in her throat before cautiously motioning Sprite to and grab a security guard and Santiago to go stand in-between the two. Because she could tell this was not about to go well! She was actually surprised no one had been called already.
She knew Austin could contain himself, it was Alana she was cautious about.
Alex shared the same sentiments as Beatrice, especially because she could practically feel the heat radiating from Austin but still she knew better than to intervene.
Austin's voice became eerily low, " That woman has been my wife since the moment I slipped that damn ring on her finger. To hell with the legality of it!" He paused, " I support, love, and encourage Y/N in everything that she wants to do with every fiber of my being! EVERY-FUCKING THING! So for you to stand here in some self righteous ass pride and accuse me of trying to turn her into some type of " housewife " is fucking ridiculous. Especially when your so called advice damned near almost killed her!"
Santiago tried his best to diffuse, " Hey guys c'mon I think that's enoug-" but his efforts fell silent on their ears.
" But aren't you though. " A sharp laugh escaped Alana, " The Y/N I knew wouldn't have even considered giving up the opportunity to be Junior editor. There's no way. Not after all the work she's put in. So the only fathomable reason there remotely is has to do with YOU! You and your needs and your wants for someone to hold your hand and support you!"
Throwing his head back in anguish as he tried to control himself he went to look at her again with eyes that practically radiated distain, " You know what, Alana. What the fuck is your problem? I mean really what the fuck is the issue because as quiet as its kept you never really liked me in the first fucking place. Which that's fine. I didn't care as long as Y/N was happy, I could tolerate your little slick comments and glares whenever I was around or even brush aside that fact that you once tried to advise her to break up with me in the beginning of our relationship when we were having problems because I know friends always try to do right by each..I guess. " Austin explained.
" But today...I'm not doing this anymore. I need to know what the fuck is your issue! Can you not stand to see her happy that bad? Are you that fucking miserable in your own life that you need someone to wallow with you. Because I'll be damned if I let it be her. " He finished.
Stunned at his outburst the room remained silent expect for Alana who was fuming as tears raced down her face, " Wanna know what my problem is Austin! Like I haven't said it a thousand and one fucking times already! My problem is that you're a distraction and your holding her back from her potential! The success that would truly make her happy! That girl has the opportunity to be excellent and excel in a field not too many people like us get to be in. But she's about to throw it all the way to be some pathetic dull little stay at home housewife without a life for you!"
As soon as the last part left her mouth Alana was filled with instant regret.
Immediately all eyes surged to Beatrice who was in fact a stay at home mother and wife, but was not dull or pathetic in any way.
She had tears in her eyes and a look of hurt on her face that couldn't be described by any words, " So is that what you think of me, Lana? Huh? That I'm dull and that I don't have a life? Pathetic? " Beatrice questioned through rolling tears.
" Baby..." Santiago immediately reached for his wife.
Alana wasn't able to get a word out to Beatrice as Santiago ushered the poor woman out of the room as she had begun to sob.
Leaving Alex alone in the room with the two where everything had been spilled, she spoke freely, " Shame on you for saying that." She said with venom behind her words looking to Alana. Before turning to Austin, " And you need to step outside and gather yourself." She pointed.
Before either of them could form a rebuttal one of the hospital security guards had finally come to intervene and diffuse the situation, " Alright folks I get this is a very tense time and subject for everyone but if we could, why don't we just take it down some notches and go our separate ways to cool off for a bit.
Looking around at everyone Austin felt his chest heaving in anger and confusion. Deciding Alex was right and he was best to leave, he exited going to find a place to talk to someone who he knew could help him see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Leaning against the outside of the building the sound of the dialing tone rang in Austin's ear until he was graced with a voice, " Hello."
" Ash. It's me...you got a minute? "
----=
After having a conversation with his sister who'd come and sat with her baby brother for what seemed like hours. All Austin did after she and everyone else had left was sit and just look at you.
The love of his life and one of the only things that truly mattered to him.
He'd been in love before sure, but for the life of him he couldn't understand how he could love someone so much the way he did you. Because looking at you laid up in a hospital bedlike this was physically making him ill.
He couldn't have imagined what he'd had done if something had been seriously wrong or worse. And he didn't want to either...because the sheer thought was almost too much to bear.
His ponders were interrupted when he heard a faint knock come onto the door-seal.
Looking he could see Phoebe in the doorway with a apologetic smile, " Hey."
" Hey. Phoebe." He responded offering what he could of a content face.
" You got a minute? "
" Of course. Yeah let's do it."
Looking to you once more Austin got up moving to follow her to the hallway.
Once they were both outside Phoebe went to speak but Austin stopped her.
" Please don't." He sighed, "Don't apologize because it isn't your fault. You couldn't have known either." He stated.
At his declaration Phoebe turned to look away at the feeling of dampness hitting her eyelids, she hated crying infront of people, " I'm her best-friend, Austin. I should have seen. I should have noticed. I mean I knew something was off but I just thought it was the normal seasonal depression we all go through. And weren't wasn't exactly around each other as much since we were both busy..but still how did I miss this. Did I let this fall to the back burner? She' s my little sister." She questioned herself.
And it was true. The relationship you and Phoebe had went way beyond the bounds of friendship...you shared a sisterhood.
Nodding Austin understood her frustration, " How could you miss this, huh? I guess maybe the same her fiancée who wakes up and goes to sleep with her almost every night did, Phoebe. It happened. Don't know how her little crafty ass did it it..but she did." " He said letting the realization set in.
Smirking Phoebe laughed, " I'm just dumb founded that she was able to keep up this charade from us all for almost a month..a whole month. Sneaky little...OUU." Phoebe hit her hands together, they both laughed.
" Well not everyone it seems." Austin sighed referring to Alana and his blowout.
She nodded, " Yeah about that." She looked to him, " I'm super sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine what all of this had to be like. Finding this all out at once and then having her say those things to you..it wasn't right. And I know I can't apologize for her but still...I'm sorry she acted that way." She says really giving him her most genuine empathy. " And I talked to Grace. She didn't know Y/N was pregnant either. Alana didn't even say anything to Grace about it, she had to find out through the phone convo with the nurse. She's pissed."
" She has every right to be. And you're right you can't apologize for her. But Phoebe be honest with me. " He shakily started, " Do all of you feel that way. Like I'm keeping her from her goals or I'm not good for her? " He asked knowing that if he got the dreaded answer he was prepared to do the unthinkable..and set you free if he was holding you back.
Without the slightest hesitation she went, " Absolutely not. No. Never. " She responded shaking her head, " If that were the case we wouldn't have even let you take our bestie out in the first place, trust me." Phoebe alerted. " If anything we feel the opposite. We see that you make her the happiest we've EVER seen her and she adores you just as much as you adore her. You're both disgustingly cute I admit and that's great because we support you two." She set the record straight.
Feeling a brick taken off what he felt like was the weight of the world on his shoulders, Austin nodded, " Thank you for that...but do you think she feels the same way about the baby...happy? " He asked.
Since you weren't awake and he couldn't ask you himself. Austin felt his need to prepare himself for what could happen..what decision you could make. He needed to know how to support you.
With Phoebe being your best-friend of so long he knew that this was as close of a look into your mind as she was going to get right now.
Acknowledging the look of desperation and fear on his face Phoebe started, " Truthfully after what Alana may have said I don't know." She spoke, " But before that what I can say is that whenever we joked around about the two of you having little curly haired chunkers tumbling around she always was so giddy about it. Smiling from ear to ear and shit." She informed making the embers of hope in Austin warm.
" But the one time we had a serious convo about right before the engagement she seemed open and fond of the idea..but in the same breath nervous and scared. And you know why I'm sure." She referenced to your abnormal upbringing.
" I do." He nodded taking in what she said.
Sighing Phoebe grabbed his shoulder, " I don't know. Honest. But not matter what just stick with her. She needs you..alot more than she may let on." Phoebe said.
Smiling small he responded, " Always. Because I need her too..a hell of a lot more than I let on."
Summary: In the conclusion of Y+M = US, you awake and finally have a long overdue conversation with Austin, who makes a confession nn of his own.
Contents: Angst if you squint. Crying. Good Ole' hurt and comfort. Major Fluff. A happy ending as promised :) Allusions to childhood trauma.
A/N: Hello Beautiful Humans! I hope you are all well! This is infact the last installment of Y+M=US! Thank you so much for all the love, support, and interaction. It means the world to me that you all enjoy it! Now as some have voted a discussion board about this piece of the Days of Our Love Series is posted along with some guidelines. Thanks for reading!
Much love *hugs*
Arie
P.S Feel free to comment , reblog, or send me a letter :)
Taglist: @wacoshuffle, @purejasmine, @louisejoy86
---
It'd a total of eight hours since you'd been admitted to the hospital, and it had been eight hours of you sleeping the day away.
By now it was almost eight thirty in the evening and Austin was still in his same spot in the hospital church across from your bed, only now he too was sleeping.
In time everyone had came and laid eyes on you and left letting Austin know that if there were any changes or he needed anything, not to hesitate to call them.
But what he truly needed was for you to wake up.
Coming in the room to check on you the nurse made her rounds taking your vitals and such.
Just as she was about to leave the room she looked over to Austin.
She knew that the poor man hadn't left this room much besides stepping in the hall to speak to people. And she figured that somebody has to nudge him to eat something and go for a little walk to get some air.
The nurse smiling walked over to Austin.
" Mr. Butler..." She gently shook him, " Mr. Butler." She tried again successful this time.
Opening his eyes he slowly sat up fully in the chair before becoming alert when he noticed that it was the nurse before him.
" Excuse me. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to nod off. Is everything alright. Is my wife, okay." He questioned eyes darting between her and you, who was still sleeping in your same position.
Still smiling she says, " Oh yes. Mr. Butler everything is quite good. Her vitals are already starting to improve and the baby is doing great." She informed the frazzled man. " No need to worry."
He nodded, "Oh." He sighed, " Good. That's amazing."
" Yes it is. I'm sorry I didn't mean to frighten you. But I know that you've been so dutiful sitting here beside your wife all this time...but and hopefully you won't believe I'm overstepping my boundary, I believe that now may be a good time to go downstairs to the cafeteria and maybe get yourself a bite to eat. " She suggested hoping he wouldn't take offense. " It'll be good to stretch your legs and shake it off. Keep your strength up. We can only help our loved ones get better if we're making sure we still feel good also." She finished.
Austin looked at her taking in what she had said while glancing to you. He wouldn't lie to himself and say that he hadn't gotten a bit stiff and his stomach feel like it was touching his back a bit. And still though, he felt like all those feeling fell to the wayside because of how strong his urge to be near you was.
What was he gonna do if he left and something happened while he wasn't here.
What if you woke up and he wasn't here so you thought he'd just left you.
What if.
It was the same two word combination Austin always encouraged you to try and rid from your vocabulary because of how anxious they made you.
And look at him now being a hypocrite.
Sighing he said, " While that sounds good. What if.." He cringes, " If something happens and I'm not here." He questioned.
Understanding his concern the nurse said, " I know. But I assure you that myself and two other nurses are about ten feet away at the nurses station and will be at her bedside in a second if anything transpires. " She affirmed motioning out through the glass.
Deciding that he did in-fact need to care for himself too he exhaled, " Okay..then. I guess I'll go and grab something. I can bring it up back here, right? " He asked.
She nodded, " Of course that's no problem, Mr. Butler."
Offering the nurse a small smile Austin then got up stretching with a quiet yawn. Walking over to you he ran his hand against the top of your head to lean down and kiss your forehead. " I'll be back baby." He whispered reaching down to grab your hand and rub it before exiting the room along with a nurse that was all smiles.
--
After about thirty minutes of going down to the cafeteria and having himself a little walk outside to get some air while having a quick phone convo with Ashley T.
Austin had returned with a nice apple chicken walnut salad and lemonade in tow.
When he walked in he glanced at you before going over to the chair to sit down and eat with a sigh.
But unbeknownst to him, you were awake.
You'd actually woken up around thirty minutes ago when you'd felt something touch your hand. When you opened your eyes for the first time and noticed you were alone, you had closed them again. Not sleep, but just resting.
He hadn't gotten two bites into the salad before he was slightly startled by your somewhat hoarse voice, " Well is it good? " You joked.
Immediately dropping what he was doing, in a flash he was kneeled down at your bedside.
" Hi baby. How you feeling? " Austin asked silently hitting the bottom overhead the page the nurse.
He couldn't hide the soft smile that graced his face as he thanked God that you were awake and okay.
" A little funny..but good. " You blinked looking around.
He watched as you tried to slowly sit up but he quickly stopped you, " Whoa, baby.. Hey..take it easy. It's okay just relax." He kneeled down next you running a hand against your head.
Soon the nurse came in who quickly assessed you and let you know that everything was stable and the baby was healthy.
At the mention of the baby you felt your face drain with color at the remembrance that Austin was in-fact in the room, and he knew now. Awkwardly you avoided looking at him until she left you again just before informing you two that the doctor had been whisked away to do a emergency induction but would be by to check on you and your status as soon as she could.
Once it was just the two of you, you started to ask more in-depth questions about what happened.
" So I just all of a sudden passed out? " You broke the lingering silence looking toward your fiancée as you recalled the information just given to you by the nurse.
With a sincere look he responded, " Yes. You were out with Alana and Avery at Lunch. They say you got up to use the bathroom, complained about being dizzy and the next thing they know you passed out and hit the floor. Thank god you didn't hit your head or fall the right way on something else..because babe this could have been way worse than some exhaustion and minor bruising." Austin stated shuddering a little at the possible thought of you having been seriously injured.
" Oh my gosh." You whispered trying to piece the afternoon back together the best you could. But every time you got to the part about lunch things did get a bit fuzzy.
You remember being there, you remember little pieces of conversation, and you could remember seeing the family and the feeling you got...but after that it went..well blank.
" Oh my gosh is right. " He parroted grabbing your ringed hand in his to kiss it and draw your attention back to his serious demeanor, " Do you know how big of a scare you gave me today. Huh, baby? Do you know the thoughts that ran through my head when I got a call from your sister all the way in Texas telling me that the love of my life was unconscious and being rushed to the hospital." He vented having a sense of worry attached to his voice.
You felt terrible.
" Grace knows..." You started.
" Yeah, she does. I've been on the phone with her on and off most of the day. She's trying to figure out some time next week she can move around the come and see you. Says she just wants to lay eyes on you herself." He informed.
Nodding since you knew that sounded like your sister, your mind then wandered to your friends, " Right...Does everyone else know? Did someone call Bea, Phoebs, Lana, Lexie? " You listed your girls.
Oh they know all alright He thought gritting his teeth a little. Part of him wishes he could go into full detail about everything that had transpired today. But he ultimately knew this wasn't the time nor the place to bring such things up when you were still in a semi-delicate state like this.
So instead he went, " Yeah they know. They've been here and gone. Stayed awhile too all of em'. Even Santiago and Sprite were here. I told them I'd give them a update on you...and the baby.. whenever you were awake."
At the mentioned of the baby, you could sense the anxious energy radiating off of Austin that you too shared. You knew he'd had to be dying to ask you so many questions, but for your sake was suppressing those feelings to give you some peace of mind.
His hand shot out to cup and caress your face while turning it so he could get a good look at you.
You carefully leaned into his touch as your eyes watered thinking about all the grief and stress you'd caused this man by the actions you'd made. You felt terrible that you'd kept this from him but at the time your mind had been convinced that it was something to hide.
" Mama.." He started, " Why didn't you tell me? " He questioned. His eyes were pouring into yours now in search of something beyond a simple answer.
" I would've been there for you. I wanted to be there for you." He confessed.
You felt like your heart was about to jump out of your chest. The look at his face was so pure and beamed of dedication.
You could tell that he was largely hurt that you had kept this from him by the gaze of his eyes.
" I wanted to but I was scared.." You meekly answered letting tears begin to race down your face. This was it. Your breaking point.
You couldn't hold it in anymore.
“ A-and I-m so-so." You choked out not being able to completely get the words out that were being disrupted by the sobs that came from hoarse throat.
" Shhh. It's alright honey. I know It's okay. I got you."
Cooing at you Austin gently got up from his kneeling position to come around to your bedside and gently shift you over so he could climb in beside you and wrap you in his arms while draping the blanket over you both. Placing a tender kiss to your forehead, Austin continued holding on in efforts to calm you. He was careful to wait to feel your body relax some and breathing slow before he decided to begin softly speaking,
" Now, Y/N I need to be honest with me and know that whatever your choice I support you. But do you wanna have this baby?" Austin bit the bullet and asked holding his breath.
Truth be told he was in love with the idea of you carrying his child, but nonetheless he was in love with you more.
So, he'd support whatever decision you wanted to make, even if it might hurt.
Sitting quiet for a moment while thinking back to all the negative things that had swirled around in your head for the last three weeks.
All the doubts and stress. Worries about how a baby would affect yours and Austin's life, worries about how'd you be as a parent, and overall worries about the experience period.
You almost felt like you shouldn’t be doing this.
But, when you thought back to the little family at the tea shop earlier and how happy they were, and the vision you had of being even happier with Austin and your baby that way.
All the doubts, stress, and worry while still being there felt small...they felt conquerable.
And that realization is what mustered you have the measly courage to be able to say , " Y-yes I do. I really do actually."
At the moment Austin could feel his chest fill with air again and this invisible anchor pulling his heart to the floor release.
That was it, you were having his baby...and he couldn't be happier.
Even, still considering that the choice affected him just as much, you quickly followed up with a question of your own, " But do you wanna have this baby? I mean I know I want to...but at the end of the day this is about both of us." You posed.
You knew Austin was finally getting the recognition for his career he deserved and he was absolutely smacked with so many projects and things. So, you didn't want this to be something that held him back or messed up the plans you'd made together. You'd talked about kids possibly sure, but those musings definitely were imagined further down the line.
Without the slightest hesitation he answered, " Baby...I never wanted something more than to have this baby with you. " He affirmed touching his forehead with yours. " It'd be the greatest honor and joy of my life besides when I become your husband. And that's something you can count on." He declared.
You didn't hide the grin that took over your face at his assertion.
" You mean it? " You asked knowing you shouldn't have but you couldn't help it.
You knew he was rolling his eyes, " Again for the thousandth time, woman. You know I wouldn't lie to you. Of course I mean it! With everything I am.
" Well good. I only ask because I know that your finally starting to get good projects that your invested in and you have career plans and I-" You began to ramble but he stopped you mid way
" Hey look at me. Look me right in my eyes when I say, " He began positioning so that your faces were only inches away from each other and the eye contact was undeniable, " You are pregnant with our baby. OUR BABY, honey. There will never...and I mean never ever ever ever," He emphasized " Be anything more important than you two! " He moved to rub at your stomach.
There wasn't much to see really to the blind eye. But to Austin now since he was finally close enough to see and more importantly feel you, he noticed the slight change around your tummy and it made his heart swell.
" I know you're scared and I understand that it's a scary journey for anyone. But I need you to know there is no one in the world I'd rather want to do this with. To carry our baby and raise them to be just as sharp, kind, and beautiful as their mama. You aren't going to be anything like your mother, you hear me? Because I know that fear is hurdling through you. " Austin held your chin making sure you looked just at him, " You are going to be an amazing mother because you're a amazing human being, babe. And I'll be here everyday God willing to remind you of that."
" So, all the things I've said I need you to get that through our your pretty little head. My babies are my priority and you're going to be a phenomenal mother to our child. You got that? " He questioned needing to make sure he was making himself completely clear.
Body swirling with joy and to your surprise excitement all you could do was truthfully nod.
On cue you felt a soft pinch administered to your thigh, " Y/N...Don't let this new pregnancy brain get you in trouble. Act like you still know what's what. " Austin warned with you knowing that even though he couldn't administer a punishment right now due to your condition right now, he would tuck the reminder in his pocket to bring out later.
Shallowing a breath while squirming a little under his touch you replied, " Yes I got it, daddy."
Smiling he tapped your thigh, " Good. Now give me some sugar before I get up to go and get you and our baby something to eat." He directed.
Not hesitating at his request you leaned in to place a kiss on your mans lips that almost took your breath away when you felt it become needier and needier at the way you both gently grabbed at each other and moved closer wanting to make up for the time lost that you could've been wrapped up with each other.
Quickly Austin had to remember that you were on the mend and needed to take it easy, so he pulled away making you huff and whine at the ghostly feeling of your lips not being on his. He just smiled at you pecking your cheek once more then whispering, " I love you. Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N and soon to be baby butler." He added and you giggled, " Forever, always, and beyond."
Grabbing his hand to interlock with your, " And we love you Austin Robert Butler..soon to be papa butler. Forever, always and beyond."
-
It was around midnight now and you'd long eaten the food brought in for you. Now the two of you were back together laid up in the hospital bed. One of his hands resting on your stomach while the other was interlocked with yours as you played with his fingers.
Your head was comfortably on his chest, and his on top of your head.
You were just about to allow yourself to go back to sleep when you felt his head leave yours and reposition so he was able to stare at your face.
Opening your eyes, you playfully frowned as you looked at Austin who all of a sudden was looking back at you with a rather large cheshire cat smile like he'd had the most wonderful thought.
" What? " You yawned. " What is it, my sweet baboo? " You tiredly continued.
He still just stared until his casually spoke, " Marry me." He said taking your face into his palm.
You giggled sleepily, " What? "
" You heard me. Marry me? " He repeated leaning in to place a soft kiss to your lips.
When he pulled back you blushed, " I'm sorry Mr. Butler but I'm pretty sure we've been over this bit before dont'cha think? " You flashed you're ringed finger to him.
He laughed, " Of course I remember one of the best days of my life. But ztill, I want us to get married. " He said.
Still looking at him funny you went," Aus, we are getting married what are y-"
" No, honey. I mean as soon as you feel better and get back into the swing of things. I want us to get married, I don- no I can't wait any longer." He expressed rubbing your ringed hand in his.
Taken a back you blinked a little in disbelief, " B- I- Austin what about all the wedding plans we'd started with Beatrice, honey. I mean when I brought eloping up you didn't want to hear really. In fact I remember you insisting we waited." You reminded him of his apprehension to the idea when you brought it up.
Your man was nothing if not traditional in many aspects when it came to your relationship, so it was no surprise to you when he gently shot down the idea and wanted to go ahead with the 'normal pace of things'.
" Yeah that was before when I thought I could be more patient and withstand the months that go into the planning and all to give you the traditional wedding you deserve. But I can't...I need you to be my wife as soon as humanly possible, mama. " He declares. " We can still have the ceremony and everything else as planned." He assured kissing your cheek. " But the sooner your wagon is hitched to mine...the better." He sighed rubbing your shoulder.
Still puzzled your mind allowed itself to wander.
" Austin..is there something in particular that made you all of sudden want to do this...like did something happen?" You mused wondering what could have prompted this idea.
Putting his mouth in a line Austin was tempted to tell you the truth that besides the fact he was in love with you and wanted spend the rest of his days beside you, he also wanted to marry you not only because he detested the fact that today he had jump through hoops to be granted all types of permission for things pertaining to you from other people and as your husband he would be direct next of kin in all situations, but he also couldn't lie and say that Alana words didn't ring around in his head.
He's the fiancée.
Thinking back to the whole situation he could feel himself begin to get upset and he knew that you would pick up on his slightest change in his attitude. So he instead mentally took a beat.
He figured that eventually this would be a conversation later after you were home and well.
" Just..I want you to be my wife and I don't ever want anyone to be able to say different going forward." He stated. " And that's that."
Your eyebrows scrunched in confusion as you were about to question his mutli layered statement but he stopped you by placing a kiss to your lips.
" Dont....just don't." He quietly whispered rubbing your shoulder.
Searching his face yourself you could tell by the way he tensed and the glossed over look in his eyes that silently told you that he wasn't ready to go where ever the two of you needed to go...you did just need to to leave it alone...for now.
So, instead of prying you smiled , " Alright, fine Mr. Man...when are we going to the courthouse, then." You teased going to hold his face in your hands.
Smiling back so hard you'd think his cheek bones would crack, he leaned in to place a hardy kiss to lips. When he pulled back he spoke in a accent that was all too familiar to you, " You mean when are we going Viva Las Vegas, baby."
Summary: After a shocking discovery is made that you decide to keep to yourself out of fear..you realize your secrecy may be doing more harm than good.
Content: BIG ANGST. Reader feeling sad and conflicted. Appearance of a friend. Argument and Tension between Austin and reader. Tense and sad Austin. Just all around Angst.
A/N: Hello Beautiful humans! I hope you’re all well. I know this is something I hadn’t planned out putting out so soon. But seeing as ya’ll wanted the first part of the juicy angsty story I mentioned so bad..this is it. I hope you all enjoy because..yeah. Much love. *hugs*
P.S Please Always feel free to comment, reblog, and send me letters about the fic and anything else pertaining to the series! And also let me know to be added to the taglist! 🏷️
Taglist: @purejasmine , @wacoshuffle
---
So here you were.
One Bathroom Counter
Six tests.
Twelve brightly positive lines.
One Shocked Alana
And one terrified you.
The room was so silent you could have heard a pin drop.
You almost couldn't believe it.
You were pregnant and scared shitless.
Immediately you’d burst into tears while Alana who usually wasn’t one for traditional methods of comfort..did her best.
From there a hour crying session began until you got the strength to talk.
" Alana what am I gonna do. This isn’t suppose to be happening right now. Not n-now." You sniffled out hanging on to your friend tighter.
This was bad..no scratch that...it was terrible timing.
You had just finally broken some ground at work and was finally feeling like your contributions were being used. Austin was riding the high of Elvis and had also just finished filming Dune part 2. Not to mention you'd only gotten engaged not even three months ago and hadn't been in the new condo two good months...which you'd been literally going at it like rabbits in.
But still, everything was flowing just the way it needed to flow, and something like this was certain to disrupt it.
" You're gonna have to do what you need to do, babes. No matter what you need to take care of you first above all else." Alana offered.
Looking at her with red eyes you asked, " What would you do? "
Mirroring you back with a face of stone Alana was hesitate to answer because in her mind.. you may not have wanted to hear her true opinion.
She replied, " Honestly."
Taking a breath you nodded.
" Well...."
—-
It'd been almost a month since you'd found that you were pregnant. And it had not been a easy ride. Between the fatigue, constant nauseous feeling, tiredness, and the task of doing your best to hide all signs of the minimal morning sickness from everyone.
You were exhausted.
But still the only two souls that knew were you and Alana.
And as much as you wanted to tell Austin and everyone else...you weren't ready.
Immediately when you stepped inside your home you smelt the delicious scent that carried through the air along with the soft jazz music you could hear from the kitchen. When you entered you were greeted by a enthused Magnus who did his everyday duty of administering your daily dosage of puppy kisses. After you went to the kitchen.
" Hey, mama. Been waiting to see you all day." Austin chirped from his post at the stovetop. He looked to have been making Fajitas and yellow rice, one of your favorite things he made, but your stomach didn't jump at the sight of them like they normally would.
" Hi. That smells good, babe." You responded slowly inching toward the living room faking a smile. Really the closer you got, the more you wanted to gag. It smelled so funny.
" Thanks. I figured it had been a hot minute since I'd made it and I know its a favorite of yours. I thought we might eat this for dinner then maybe we could finish another chapter of the book we got Saturday upstairs."
You just nodded, " Yeah, Aus. That sounds nice. I'm gonna go lie on the couch for a little bit though. Feeling little tired." You informed.
Austin had to hold back the sullen expression that wanted to form and instead replace it with a small smile, usually whenever he cooked you were perched right on a seat at the kitchen island chattering and giggling. But as of recent that hadn't been the case and Austin would be lying if he said it didn't bother him.
" Okay."
From there the two of you had dinner as normal making little small talk here and there. Mostly work talk and little about plans for the summer the two of you had made which now made you said since they might not be feasible with the new information of your...condition.
Post dinner Austin let Magnus out to potty before you both ventured upstairs with the happy hound following where the two of you separately shower and change to then got in bed and Austin took his turn to read.
Feeling actually tired you let him sort of cuddle you with his unoccupied hand on your back while your head rested on his chest and your legs were intertwined.
Seeing that the book was a romance once you'd hit a certain part of the chapter it'd gotten..spicy . And with the two of you particularly in a enclosed space like your bed, it wasn't shocking to you when Austin decided to make a move.
He'd leaned in and grabbed your face pulling yours to his in a sweet kiss. A kiss that you couldn't help but naturally blend into. This was the most action the two of you had seen in a while. He was enjoying being this close to you. He drank in the scent of mango and vanilla that came from you and savored the soft of your skin on his fingertips.
Gaining more traction without breaking the union Austin had managed to to set the book aside on the nightstand while maneuvering to hover over you. Everything was okay until you felt a hand move from caressing the top of your breast down to brush the top of your stomach.
Startled you abruptly pulled away alarming Austin.
" Whoa. Hey you alright? What's the matter? " He questioned searching your face.
Putting on a poker face you nodded, " Yeah I'm fine, babe. Just..do you mind..." You trailed silently gesturing for him to move off.
Obliging instead of just rolling over, Austin got up from the bed standing to look at you. You couldn't quite pin-point what he was thinking, but from his expression it was clear he was bothered.
" Y/N what's going on? Is it me? Have I done something? " He asked.
Shaking your head you scooched off the bed moving to stand, " Of course not, Aus. Why would you think that? It's fine. I'm fine." You said feeling a whoosh of anxiety enter your chest.
" Well I honestly don't know what you want me to think, baby. I mean as of late every time I come near and try to hold you , you move away from like I got the plague. We haven't had a date night in three weeks because you always keep saying you're too tired or busy. Whenever I'm home and I cook dinner for us you don't wanna even sit down and eat with me." Austin poured looking at you with pleading eyes. " It feels..like you don't want me around most days."
Your eyes began to water hearing his outpour of concern and neglect.
“ That’s not true, baby. You know I want you around all the time.” You tried assuring.
You hadn’t meant to get this way. You felt terrible. Like a monster. You'd never meant to make him feel this way.
A bitter laugh left him, “ I can’t tell.”
Looking at you he could see that you felt bad and once your tears began rolling, he felt his eyes begin to feel moist.
" Baby...." He dragged out trying to keep the strain against his voice small, " We're not even making love anymore. The last time you let me touch you was almost a month ago. A-and before that we could barely keep our hands off each other." He painfully pointed out thinking about all the passionate love making the two of had been doing. You used to joke around with him and tease that he had to be part energizer bunny because he never needed a recharge.
But nonetheless it was true.
You'd been avoiding him, and tucking yourself away while you tried to figure out what you were going to do.
Doing little things like wearing loose clothes even to bed when he knew you preferred to be near naked most times. When he'd offer shower with you, you'd always politely decline brushing it off as you were just going to be in and out. You put space between the two of you when you watched shows or ate dinner. Austin had taken note of it all, and while he had been trying to give you some space and be supportive. But he feared he was at the end of his rope.
But still you couldn't find the voice to say anything back to him, and this unfortunately heighten his emotions so bad that he said the unthinkable.
" You know what cut the shit, Y/N! " Austin sighed placing his hands into his face. " Who is he? " Austin accused feeling like you'd just been struck in the chest.
" E-excuse me." You gawked in disbelief at what your fiancée was shockingly insinuating. He had to know better than even letting a passing thought like that enter his mind.
" You heard me. Who is he? " He repeated with more attitude. " Because whatever you're not getting here you gotta be getting somewhere, right? It's Lucas isn't it?" He sourly threw out the name of the name of your friend who'd been helping with your photography classes you'd enrolled in. The same Lucas from the night at Alana's party that had tried to get extra friendly with you. “ You’re fucking him, aren’t you?” The words thrown out like venom.
You felt you heart race prompting you to rest a hand on your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. But no much how much steady breathing you practiced, it wouldn't help stop the tears that began cascading down your face, " Austin...H-how could you even think that. No! There isn't anyone else. Not Lucas..not anyone!" " You choked out in disbelief full on crying now.
Raising his head to look at you he sighed, " Ah hell, Y/N." He mumbled in discontent at seeing you cry the way you were. He hated when you cried. " I don't know what to think at this point! This isn't like us. This isn't like YOU."
You nodded feverishly trying to calm down, " I know...I-I just don't feel like myself, Austin." You half confessed being sure to leave out the major components of why.
" Okay, I understand. And I absolutely hate that your feeling that way. But I can't help you if I don't know what's going on. Can please you tell me what's wrong. I wanna be here and help you. But you're shutting me out. Please." Austin pleaded looking at you intently, all he was asking was for something..really anything that you could tell him to steer him in the right direction. Because right now he felt lost.
Biting your lip to the point of near bloodshed and twiddling your thumbs you contemplated just spilling your guts and telling him right then and there, but the little voice in your head agonizingly sniping at your thoughts wouldn’t allow it.
If you tell him now it becomes real. And there isn't anything guaranteeing that he'll be happy. I mean you told him about your childhood, why would he want someone damaged like you to raise a child with.
Who would want you as a mother?
Feeling like the walls were caving in you just barely spoke, " Austin. I want to....But I can't.... I just can't."
The words had come out.
And now you had to painfully watch as his face fall at your response. It was like you could see a little embers of hope die behind his eyes, and it broke your heart even more to watch as he sniffled up what would have been a stray tear.
When he responded his voice sounded taut, " You know when we first started dating and we played that game with all the questions. And I asked you to describe our relationship in three words. One of the words YOU specifically picked was honest." Austin reminisced reminding you both of the happier time. He took a second to breath until his glossy eyes met yours in a intense lock, " W-when did that change?"
Once he finished, he then proceed to back away from you softly wrenching the bedroom door open, he casted you one more look before closing it behind him. Leaving you to shakily lay yourself down on the bed and wrap yourself in the covers to ensue in a good old fashion sob out.
That night for the first time since the two of you had gotten engaged and moved into the loft you'd sleep alone in your king size bed. You heard when the guest bedroom had opened and closed. This only made you cry more.
You felt cold. And not just because the usual warmth Austin gave off holding you in the night wasn't present, but really because it was as if you were standing in the middle of nowhere with no shelter and no place to turn.
You felt alone.
In the wee hours of the morning while your fought yourself in and out of sleep you'd heard the bedroom slowly creep open. With your back to the room you listened as he moved about the bathroom and the closet in what you knew was him getting ready for the interview line up he had today for some of the precursors for award season.
You so badly wanted to turn around and call out for him. Apologize and explain everything a thousand times over. But still it felt like your body physically wouldn't move.
When he came out the final time, you could hear him come to his side of the bed and put something on the duvet. He sighed before turning around and back out the door closing it softly behind him. The alarm chime could be heard soon after and that's when you knew he was gone.
Slowly pulling yourself up to turn around. You hit the toggle for the lights and looked at the folded note that sat on his pillow.
You'd be laying if you said that your heart didn't fall to your ass. Was he leaving you?
Numbly you grabbed the note bracing yourself to take in it's contents.
Then you read it,
Dear Y/N,
I know that I already told you that I'd be out for most of the day today but I also wanted to let you know that when I get home I'll be retiring to the guest room.
I don't exactly know what's going right now but I just feel like I'm putting in so much effort into this relationship as of recent only to receive half of it back. And as a couple who recently got engaged..this worries me. I understand that you have a tough time opening up about certain things bothering you and that is completely understandable. But just what I don't understand is why your pulling back from opening up to me after all we've been through in two years of progression.
With that being said, for right now I think it'll be good if we just take some space. Hence why I'll be staying in the guestroom for a couple of days. Unless you're ready to talk in some type of honest capacity or there is some type of emergency, I ask that you please respect this boundary for the time being.
I love you, Y/N. And I know we can work at this and overcome whatever is going on.
But I badly need you to try.
I'll still be home in time to make dinner as normal and I'll leave you a plate in the microwave.
A/N: Hello Beautiful Humans! Hope you're all well!
For the series I was trying to think of ways for it to be more visually involved and so I came up with the idea of social media interludes.
Ever so often you'll be able to see the characters and their social media pages!
Hope you all like it!
Much love! - Arie
Sidenote: Y/N's account is in fact private.
---
y/nwritesthings: spent some time among nature this weekend with my favorite people and I didn't hate it…that much...
comments on this post have been limited
austinbutler: : Had a great weekend with my babies ❤️
therealalexk: The belly delly is poking 🥹💚
busybeemommie: Awe! Love seeing my peach muffin happy 🧡
phoebefwes: . 😌💕
gracekildeen: Little cutie pies 🥧 Can’t wait to see y’all!
busybeemommie: Hey busy bees ! 🐝 For date night this week the hubby and I got a chance to see @austinbutler kill it on the big screen in a special directors cut showing in ElVIS! Such a wonderful movie from @bazluhrmann and everyone involved!
If you get a chance check it out! ❤️✨
view all 347 comments
austin butler: ❤️
austinbulterfan1: OMG that's so cute!
y/nwritesthings: I’m glad you enjoyed it!
austinsgoodboot: EXCUSE THE DIRECTOR’s CUT?!!
therealalexk: me next!
phobefwes: look who! Bear is thankfully back home on leave and got to be introduced to our new resident.
meet ivy wesley-syverson!
view all 52 comments
y/nwritesthings: wuke at the precious 🥹
therealalexk: I won’t hold you the puppy is cute, but I lowkey forgot what Noah looked like with hair…
phoebefwes: @therealalexk MAN! you and me both lol I was like who is this Sasquatch in my home fr!
lucyhale: oh my goodness! you'll have to bring her to set next time to assist you! 🥰
therealalexk: oh people wanna know where I'm at....
comments on this post are limited
phoebefwes: She outsidddeeee! 😝
y/nwritesthings: hey there miss producer!
officaldantedawns: hoodie looks real familiar
therealalexk: @officaldantedawns oh does it now ☺️
averyrosephotography: 👀
lanamontyy: i wanted sucess, they wanted to argue. vacays to destress always!
Summary: The aftermath of what you’ve done hasn’t fully sent in..because just as life happens and things occur that will everything seem dark and silent.
Contents: Brunch. Angst. Crying. Medical Emergency. Friends. Allusions to Abortion 🚨 Flashback scene.
A/N: Hello beautiful humans! Hope you’re all well! I wanna first off give a huge thank you to you all for all the love and support you’ve shown the series. It means the world to me that you guys enjoy my little ole’ stories. So in celebration I thought I’d release this filler installment to get you pumped for the ULTIMATE ANGST that the next and final chapter of YM=US. holds. Happy reading!
P.S feel free to send me a letter about the series or comment how you feel or what you think will happen next! Also comment if you wanna be added to the taglist!
Much love *hugs* 💚
Arie
Taglist: @purejasmine,@wacoshuffle
---
Somehow after reading the letter a hundred times and crying fifty more, you'd still managed to pull yourself to together to get up and get dressed.
How? You truly don’t freaking know.
But today you'd agreed to go out to brunch with Alana and, Avery, who was a friend from college you'd just reconnected with at the Glamour party awhile back that you'd went to with Austin.
It was just to catch up with each other for a little bit.
And you were still a woman of your word, so you were honoring the plans.
You were meeting up at the Upside Down Teapot shop down the way in downtown LA.
Since you felt like you couldn’t really drive you paid the expensive ass uber fee from your condo to downtown to meet the ladies.
Once you arrived you ordered a simple green tea that you were certain you weren’t actually about to touch and ventured out to the patio to find your friends waiting.
They both got up embracing you with greetings and love before you took a seat.
" So, Y/N. How is everything going? Wedding planning, job, new actor fiancée." Avery giddily asked poking your in shoulder.
Still not taking off the sunglasses you had wore you looked to her nodding, “ Everything is cool. Work is Work. Got offered a promotion though. Beatrice has been helping with most of the bridal stuff and Austin.” You cleared your throat when it had suddenly become dry, “ Austin’s okay. Working right now per usual...so yeah.” You finished.
Avery’s eyes lit up, “ Woah wait a promotion at the script house. That’s exciting. What is it? “
“ Um. Just one of the people who works there is retiring and threw my name into the hat to take their spot..it’s not a big deal.” You lied.
Only it was a big deal. It was actually a huge fucking deal.
Two weeks Prior:
You were a script writer and worked in a writer's room with a few other folks everyday trying to piece together everyone's individual ideas to make the next best possible Oscar worthy work you guys could. You'd walked into your office today at Simon & Tills expecting the day to go like any other. You even had a killer idea that you had prepped to share for the script the B team was currently working on for a Spike Lee small film.
But once you'd got into the room you immediately noticed the way that all of your colleagues were eyeing you down. Some had looks of encouraging smiles while others glanced once at you and quickly shifted your eyes their eyes back to their computers.
Wrapping the hazel sweater around yourself tighter. You could feel your palms starting to get clammy and eyes began to hurt. You already hadn't been feeling the greatest the last couple of days, so whatever this was you hope that it wasn't that bad.
What was going on? What had you done.
Putting a pep in your step you were just about to reach your desk when the door of Cecelia Klinger, the Editor and Chief, pushed open.
" Y/N, do you mind popping in my office for a brief moment." She called out.
Shit. You'd thought.
Instantly a lump the size of a coconut was beginning to form in your throat while you shook your nodded trudging forward while still trying to ignore the dozen pairs of eyes that followed your every move.
Once you shuffled into the office and both of you were seated you started to mentally brace yourself for what was about to happen.
It would be the first time in your life you'd ever gotten fired and you were about to take it like a champ....maybe.......
It really depended on how stern her voice was going to be.
" So Y/N. " She started, " By the way that you're tensely sitting in the chair across from me I can tell that you probably weren't expecting me to call you into my office this morning. " She spoke.
At her statement you started to move around trying to look less uptight.
It only made it worse.
" Well let me start by saying there's no need to be nervous. In fact, I hope you'll find yourself elated by what I'm about to tell you next. "
" Okay." You replied watching her reach down into her desk drawer and pull out what looked to be the rough draft copy of a script alter you'd submitted to be in the final copy of a part of a script for a upcoming project for sony productions.
You didn't know who was producing or directing cause that hadn't been announced yet but you were given some characters and historical background. From there you researched on your own and wrote what you could. What you felt was right.
" This was turned into me by Calum." She stated referring to the office's Junior Editor, " Now. I have to tell you that rarely does Calum ever personally hand me over a single person's work to read. But he did yours. And I can say that I am more than thoroughly impressed. "
oh-oh damn.
You could feel the pit of your stomach start to feel like hills rolling.
Struggling to contain the look of shock on your face, you thanked her
" This prompted me to take a closer look at your portfolio and I must say I never knew that you were behind some of the work I was seeing. The works I liked. " She emphasized.
" And as you know Calum is retiring to spend more time with his husband and children. And when the topic of his replacement came up. So did your name." She dropped.
Now this facial expression of shock on your face, you couldn't hide. You'd never thought your work was that good. I mean you'd written a few things your were largely proud of. But this was completely unexpected. And as far as Callum went, you didn't know he knew your name.
" The way we feel you approach things and this certain insight that you have to you. Is especially refreshing. You don't write what's expected of you by the book. You write with your imagination and feeling. And I need someone like that to oversee the office. But more importantly I need that aspect for our publishing." She explained.
Still you sat amazed waiting for your alarm clock to ring or Adam Sandler dressed in spandex riding a dragon to pop through the wall. Because this had to be a dream.
" So Y/N. I am formally extending you the position of Junior Editor. It’’ll be more hours and more responsibility of course to take in. You can take the time you need to consider. I will need a answer by the end of the month when Callum fully resigns. Though, I truly hope that you'll choose to fulfil. Because I see a great deal of potential in you young lady. " Cecilia stated.
“ Thank you but it’s not a huge deal.” You passed it off once again, “ And I haven’t accepted yet. I still have a week to decide.”
A scoff came from across you, “ Don’t let her be modest with you, Avery. Y/N just got offered the junior editor position at the house if she accepts she’ll be the youngest junior editor ever while being one of the most powerful script editors in California.” Alana gloated on your behalf stunned, “ With that being said. Hun, what’s the hold up. Why haven’t you accepted?” She pressed.
“ Well Lana there are a-lot of things to consider now. There are things and people this could affect.” You said hoping she’d catch your drift.
Eyes bucking Alana said, “ Woah wait a minute. Y-you’re not actually considering saying no are you? After all the work you’ve done.”
Shaking your head in discomfort you said, “ I don’t really know just exploring my options as you love to say.” You replied.
“ Bu-” Alana started.
Feeling the table tense Avery quickly interjected with a question to steer the conversation elsewhere, “ But speaking of options. Lana aren’t you suppose to be doing the PR for the Met and Diamond Ball this year. How are you going to do both without outshining the other? “ She asked knowing it would send Alana down a deep black whole of explanation.
And it did giving you a break to just sit and think while looking around.
Were you really about to give up your dreams for a man and a child?
But not just any man and child, your husband and baby?
Did you wanna have this baby?
Is that the right decision? Had you become that type of woman?
When you looked over a bit away from you, you seen a small family of three people. A woman and a man who in his lap was holding a baby who could've been more than five or six months old. Her mom was playing around with her trying to feed the babe what looked like mashed fruit.
But every-time she'd bring the spoon to the child's mouth she turned her head making them both laugh. It was almost as if she thought it was a game. Trying again she put the spoon up to her daughter's mouth only this time the man had tickled the little girl under her chin making her laugh and open her mouth. Sliding the spoon in quickly, you watched as the child ate her food and in return her parents clapped along with the smiling baby before leaning over to kiss one another.
Seeing this scene unfold before made you experience a warm and gooey feeling and you couldn’t help the grin that graced your face.
From the way the man and his wife looked at each other, to the laughter the three of them shared at the small little things happening. It made you feel good inside, like this was something you wanted. You couldn't help the way your imagination ran to instead of the man and woman sitting there with their baby, what if it was you and Austin with yours.
Your baby.
The little chickpea sitting comfortably inside your womb.
Something that was made simply from the way you and Austin looked at each other...okay maybe more than just looked.
But still the thought of that made your heart swell because you wanted that.
You wanted that. You realized.
And nothing else would matter if you had that.
Feeling light headed all of a sudden at your epiphany, you decided to go to the bathroom and get some air so you could muster up the courage to send a text to your husband telling him that when he got home, you were ready to talk.
Getting up you braced yourself on the back of your chair, " H-hey I think I'm gonna go to the bathroom and get a little bit of air. " You informed looking around at your surroundings that as of recent seemed a little less clear.
From where they were sitting both Alana and Avery took note of your shaky stance and flushed appearance. They were immediately concerned.
" Y/N, boo? You okay? You look a little flush." Avery called out.
" Yeah hun maybe you should sit back down." Alana chimed in.
But still you waved them off moving to take some steps, " I'm fine just need so-mme a-"
You never got to finish your sentence because in that moment the entire world went dark and silent.
All from around gasps of horror and concern could be heard as not only Avery and Alana rushed to you, but others around also.
“ SOMEONE CALL 911.SHE’S NOT RESPONDING. LANA SHE’S BARELY BREATHING.” Avery yelled holding you in her arms. “ Y/N..baby..come on...come on honey.”
In shock Alana made the call practically screeching into the phone to the operator.
From there everything seemed to move in slow motion.
They continued to trying to wake you until the paramedics showed up and whisked you up and away onto a gurney.
" Ma'am is there someone we should call as her emergency contact." The EMT asked Alana while the others prepped you to be placed in the ambulance.
" Ummm...." The thought of telling them Austin's name and number had popped into Alana 's brain first, but when a pang of resentment washed over her, she pushed it aside and went a different direction, " Grace Kildeen. It's her older sister. The number is (469) 388-5670. " She informed.
" Okay we'll have someone give her a call. In the meantime would you like to ride in the ambulance with her, ma'am? "
" Of course. Let me just let our friend know. She's over there talking to the store owner right now." She motioned to where Avery was conversing.
" No problem."
Alana then went to go and talk to a shaken Avery who informed she'd be right behind you and had already made arrangements for the cars and everything else.
And before she knew it Alana was in the back of the ambulance holding your hand.
