how does radio's ocpd affects the way radio run this blog? genuinely curious, don't know very much about ocpd
So OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) is mostly characterized by strong needs for control, perfection, and dedication to productivity, among other things, to the point of having significant negative impacts on one's life, or, being disordered. It's a cluster C personality disorder (according to the DSM 5) which means that fear plays a considerable role in the motivations for these disordered behaviours.
In our& personal experience, we're pretty heavy on the 'need for productivity', 'rigidity', 'perfectionism', and 'sense of self is based on work' parts of it (though these aren't the only symptoms that we struggle with). Our& sense of self and self-worth is based on our work, on constantly being productive, on ensuring that our work is perfect. We over-intellectualize things, especially emotional situations, in our attempts to have control. We hoard things and don't spend money unless we absolutely have to. We despise people trying to tell us how to do our tasks and get immensely frustrated when people don't do things our way.
It affects our& work on here in many ways. One of the most obvious I'd say is that we spend very little of our time on anything other than this blog. We have few hobbies, and find it especially difficult to engage in tasks that aren't productive (such as playing video games), so we inevitably just end up working on this blog again. We're always striving to do more and more, neglecting socialization, our health, and any other tasks we consider less important for the sake of archiving. We cannot stand to let anyone else help us with this because we can't trust that they'll do it by our own high standards; it took a long while and a huge mental health crisis for us to invite Meliad onto here to help, and even then, xey only draft things we're tagged in and don't do any other tasks on here. We get really frustrated when we see people doing things like using terms in ways that we don't think are 'correct', which, causes social difficulty given there isn't really a wrong way to be queer. Change in the community or in how things are understood is really difficult for us because of that rigidity. We create lists and plans of more tasks to do, tags to backtag, things to fix, but they end up just piling up and we're too scared of doing it wrong to start. We struggle to understand or handle well the emotions of other people, tending to over-intellectualize them as well, causing social conflict as well. We're stubborn and it takes a good while to change our mind on things, which causes yet more social friction. Our& obsessive preoccupation with our reputation is only made worse by our need for perfection and control; once one mistake is made (and especially if we're unable to correct it immediately), things very easily, very quickly spiral out of control. It consumes our every moment.
At least in regards to our work here, our OCPD is surely the most impactful of our persodivergences.
