thread: Drowning location: Red Lake status: closed thread w/ Theo & Jack, considered complete. Trigger warnings: topics of death, depression, suicidal ideation.
THEO
Theo was feeling restless, which seemed to be her new normal at this point, especially on her days off when she was left to find something —anything —to keep herself from milling around the main house, and venturing over to her Dad’s old veterinary clinic that had sat there closed for the past eight months. For whatever reason, maybe because today would have been his fiftieth birthday and she missed him so much she could barely breathe, or maybe something else entirely was driving her—and even though she had to drive past it every day just to pull out of her own property and had managed not to give into the urge—Theo had found herself finally stopping and going inside.
Big mistake. Huge. All of the grieving she hadn’t allowed herself hit her like a train and she found herself on the floor unable to stop violently screaming and sobbing. The brunette had no concept of how much time had passed, once she was all cried out, Theo simply picked herself off the ground, threw some water on her face, locked the door and jumped up into her SUV and started to drive. She was in a weird daze, no real destination in mind —but soon she found herself at Red Lake. She parked the vehicle close to the water's edge and got out, still in some weird mental fog, keys still in the ignition while she stood and stared at the lake for a few seconds, the damn tears once again stinging her eyes, she just needed to do something to make it stop.
October was well past the time of year that sane people went swimming and right now Theodora was anything but sane. All she could think was that the sting of the cold water might somehow wash away all the emotions flooding her system, and at the very least being chilled to the bone would be a distraction. Before she could process anything or talk herself down, Theo found herself rushing toward the water —she didn’t even realize anyone was around, nor that the violent sobbing had begun all over again as she plowed her tiny form, fully clothed into the chilly waters, waded in up to her chest before intentionally diving under, disappearing into the murky lake water.
JACK
Grief was an interesting beast. Some days he found himself steady, that beast lying dormant making it easy for him to forget it was even there. He'd be able to do things like eat, sleep, work. It always came as a cycle, for a few weeks he would be fine, decent, able to work like any normal person within the town. Then it would hit him like a ton of bricks, that beast coming out of it's hole to terrorize him once again. During these times he struggled to get through the days sober; he wasn't much of a drinker normally, but since her death he found refuge with the bottle. He'd already done his daily binge a few days before, and now he could feel that heavy, unending weight of his grief lifting from his tired shoulders. It will lie dormant once again, until it decided it wanted to rear its ugly head again.
Today he found himself at the lake, he might have brought another bottle with him, but he'd left it within his car. Untouched and unopened, but there as a safety net if he felt he needed it. He was looking out over the lake taking in the beauty of nature, trying to use it's calming presence to ease the lingering grief when he spotted a truck. That wasn't what got his attention, no, it was the person who climbed out of it. Looking clearly distraught and familiar, the one he'd met at the bar, the one he'd been texting not too long ago. He understood her grief as his own, and wondered if she was also going through this cycle. That thought was soon answered as he saw her running towards the lake at full speed, "Theo!" He shouted, though nothing he would have said could have stopped her. He realized that as he went after her into the cold water of the lake.
He waded further out with intent just as she went under, he knew what she was trying to do, and he couldn't sit by and let it happen. He'd dive in after her, his arms wrapping around her before pulling her up. He anticipated that she might fight, but he held onto her still as he pulled her towards the beach. "Hey, hey. It's okay, it's going to be okay." He said, repeating it over and over.
THEO
The sting of the chill of the water hadn't quite had the intended effect—though it had been a definite shock to her system, Theo was a well shaken soda bottle of emotions and once the cap was off there would be no stopping the explosion this time. It wasn't that she wanted to die, of course she didn't, but she was just exhausted from the internal fight that was always going on deep inside and so she didn't fight the grip of the chilly waters that felt like it was holding her tight in place, making no effort to save herself just yet—maybe she hoped if she got so close to touching death she could see the other side, see that her mom and dad still lived on, on some other plane of existence but still with her here even if she couldn't hear or touch them. Maybe she could start moving forward with living, maybe she could forgive herself for not coming home when she was supposed to, for not being there to hold her father's hand as he left this life.
She had no concept of time, maybe her body was still in shock from the ice cold water, she couldn't have been under the water for more than a few seconds though it felt a lot longer when suddenly she felt strong arms encircling her body, pulling her up to the surface—her first instinct was to fight it—she hadn't gotten what she needed yet, not yet. Theo flailed against his hold, disoriented and shaking, choked sobs and screams of unintelligible words leaving her trembling lips—his grip never easing no matter how hard she struggled against it, his voice familiar and oddly comforting even as she continued fighting him all the way up until he'd managed to pull her up on the sand of the beach, only then did it click in her head what she had just done, and who it was who had gone in to save her from herself.
With the reality of what she'd just done sinking in, she stopped struggling and let herself cling to him for dear fucking life. "I- I'm s-sor-sorry," she managed to choke out, her body trembling from the cold and the sobs that refused to stop.
JACK
He wasn't a lifeguard, that really came to be true when she started thrashing around. He'd lost his foot a couple times in the effort it took him to get her to shore. He was wet, cold, but determined to get her as far away from the water as he humanly could. While he did he kept saying soft things, 'It's going to be okay,' and 'I'm here.' even if she couldn't actually hear him right in that moment. Eventually he'd get up onto shore then further up onto the grass falling easily onto his bottom with her coming down with him. It seemed in the time he moved she got more and more calm until she was clinging onto him. Sobbing, but still very much here and alive. "It's okay." He said, wrapping his arms around her. "You're alright, it's okay."
He held her close for as long as she would let him. Whatever it was she was going through right now he could understand. He'd been here on more than one occasion with his own grief. He'd do whatever he needed to help her even if that meant just sitting there until she was ready to move. "Theo." He'd say, "I know it's hard right now. I know it can seem never ending, but you aren't alone. You don't need to do this on your own." He said, softly, speaking into her hair a bit. "I'm here for you, whenever you need me to be."
THEO
She was exhausted from the whole ordeal, between the crying fit on the clinic floor, and fighting Jack's grip and the cold of the water all of Theo's fight was gone. Her body shivering in his arms, glad for his comforting presence and the soft kind words he spoke, she almost believed everything was going to be all right. "I don't know h-how to do this at all." she confessed for the first time to herself or anyone else for that matter. "I- I didn't want to die... I promise, I just needed to feel something else... anything else than all this grief." she forced out between tiny gasps for air, her fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. "How do I make it stop? I need it to stop, I'm not equipped for this.. this isn't me, Jack. I lost me when I lost them..." It wasn't easy for her to admit, but Jack made her feel safe, like she was allowed to break and he wouldn't look down on her for it, and more to the fact, that he understood what she was going through.