I am a woman and that alone makes me powerful.
I have the power to choose.
I have the power to say yes.
I have the power to say no.
I have the power to scream.
I have the power to grow.
I have the power to speak up.
I have the power to love.
I have the power to forgive.
I have the power to be vulnerable.
I think our world forgets that women have always had power. Even some of us women forget that we have the power. And because we are considerate and compassionate beings, we often give our power to the weak. I describe the weak as the one’s that see our vulnerability as opportunity to gain their own power. We don’t speak up because we don’t want to disrupt, and we know our voice has the power to impact everyone. We consider how it will affect our children, our friends, our family, and the men in our life. Why, because WE ARE POWERFUL! Our ability to choose what battles we fight is powerful. However, I am finding myself in a world where more and more people see this power as their way to tear us down. I am not here to tear anyone down, I am here because I have the power to forgive, the power to speak up, and the power to educate others on the power of our vulnerability.
The story I am about to share changed my life. I am choosing to share in this way and there will be many people that don’t agree, and that’s okay, we each have the power to choose. This is my choice and my power.
I was building a deep connection with a great man. A man I love and respect. We had not yet taken our connection to physical intimacy, so the choice to cross that boundary, was a very serious one for me, as I was considering him for my life partner. I was in shock when he did not wait for my consent. This is a great man and he just skipped not one, but two levels of consent. I remember feeling so embarrassed for him. I kept thinking, “he’s probably mortified that he acted so hastily”. That is the power of women, we always think of others first.
Terrified of my power to choose what happened next, to speak up, to exploit this situation, this great man, made a series of not great choices. Choices to protect himself without any consideration for me. His choices affected my life, my health, and even my career.
During this time, the company I worked for was also quite terrified of my power. I had the power to expose them for their egregious oversights and mishandling of this situation and my personal information. When I went to my female boss about my concerns, with the recent news that I would be working with this man, I was told, “Just be professional, it’s not worth rocking the boat in your new position.” This was said to me by a great and strong woman, unfortunately she fell victim to the idea that we are powerless.
I was pressured by corporate lawyers to press charges, charges that would absolve the company of any wrongdoing. Not only that, I would be forced to handle this situation in a way that I did not want to.
I did not press charges, on this man or the company. Instead I chose to stand in my power and create change. I fought for a new handbook to be written and accountability practices to be put in place. I’ve educated many men on this topic, as I’ve found there are many great men out there that saw this situation as a “gray area”. I want the good men to know that our power as women, is in our consideration of others. If you ever want to be as powerful as a woman, start considering us, our consent, our feelings, our right to choose!
It’s been several years and since then, this man has sought forgiveness. It’s been a very long and tough road for us and I’m standing in my power as I choose vulnerably to share with him the impact of his choices. As I boldly call him out on his inconsideration. But I am a powerful woman, so I have the power to forgive and I have the power to speak up, and I have the power to choose when I do each of these things.
To all the great men out there...listen more, consider more, and know that women have ALWAYS had the power!