When everything you have is never enough
"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker
I have an overwhelming emotion of sadness today. Its supposed to be a happy day as its Friday, the holiest day of the week, and I really have nothing to complain about. I'm back with my family, I don't need to worry about expenses or food, I can buy things, I can do things and basically I have everything I ever wanted, or so I thought.
I have been wishing for so many things in my life, and things were never enough. When I wanted something, I would think about it day and night and it would effect me tremendously. I guess im a person of many needs and I would like all my needs attended to. I used to wish for something, (which I shall keep a secret), it is nothing materialistic though, not a new phone or gadget or what not, just something that I have been wanting for so long. And when I finally got it, I got more than the amount I wanted. I think God is testing me to see what I will do and how far I would go.
I realize today, everything was never enough for me. We always wish for the best and in the end we expect more. When will enough be enough? How far will greed and selfishness bring us? And to what extent. I guess im just rambling my thoughts right now, because nothing makes sense. Im just exhausted from wanting more and more you know. For once in my life, I want to enjoy being contented. The feeling of not wanting. You just want to live in the now and enjoy what you have, because what you have now is the most precious thing you have, contentment.
“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough”
― Oprah Winfrey
I just want to be in the now and not worry about the future and what I will have or not have. I want to appreciate all I have now, and to focus all my energy in showing that appreciation. I just want to stop wanting.