My Greatest Adventure #80, Part One: Origins, as Told By One Niles Caulder.
The Doom Patrol are formed.
This is the very first time these heroes join together. Niles presumably kidnaps them to get them here.
Our story begins with Niles Caulder putting the three unknown members down in order to lift himself up. Unfortunately, it’s not enough to get out of the chair he’s bound to.
Niles mansplains their origins to them.
First, Rita Farr decided that she had had enough of CGI. Unfortunately, she was no Tom Cruise.
After the realization of her lack of Tom Cruise skill, she makes a move that would preclude her from Scientology from there on out: She uses therapeutic vapors to realign herself.
Unfortunately, Scientology was right all along, because Rita is now dying. The film crew spent weeks trying to get her thetan levels higher.
And yet, all they could do was heighten her flesh body. Rita didn’t do to well after this. Because of that bitch Allison Hayes, she could never capitalize on her newfound powers. Shamed she couldn’t even be as cool, she retreated from society.
Up next, Larry Trainor copied what he saw in comic books, and tried to become a hero. Unfortunately, he would not become DC’s First Family.
Instead, he was gifted the ability to have others deal with his problems for him, but only for 60 seconds at a time.
As one could surmise from his wanting to hide away in shame, Larry Trainor willed his Negative Man to save the life of a soldier. The bastard.
But as we can see, Larry is a Glass-Half-Empty sort of guy, so let’s give him a break.
