#thisisadoption

[margoglynn]

I have a 14yo who’s failing half his classes, with an IEP, and I get weekly emails about how he’s not doing well.

I’m very close to saying, NO SHIT.

It’s very likely that he’ll drop out as soon as he’s old enough for a job.

I can see it coming and can’t think of a way to prevent it.

[margoglynn]

My littlest said, “Do you think I’m beautiful? Kiss me if I’m beautiful.”

His little cheeks got covered in kisses.

[margoglynn]

My youngest achieved peak sneakiness tonight.

I got home late. Husband came from littlest’s room to say he was asleep.

But he was a great big faker.

Five minutes later, littlest sneaked in to give me a hug, crawled into my bed, and fell instantly asleep.

Or so it seems.

[margoglynn]

It’s been almost 4 years since our last adoption was finalized and we stopped fostering.

And I’m still having nightmares of them being sent back to the horrors they left behind.

They’re always my worst dreams, full of grief and fear for them and desperation to see them again.

Will I still have the same nightmare when they’re adults?

[margoglynn]

Have you ever done emergency foster care?

Our agency didn’t differentiate emergency from regular, long-term foster care. So we would get calls any hour of the day or night, accept kids right from their homes, and they would stay until their cases were resolved.

If you have done emergency placement, how long did the kids usually stay? If you have done both, how else do they differ? And if you don’t mind me asking, what state did you foster in? DM me if you want!

[margoglynn]

4-year-old told me that he doesn’t want to be brown.

I just tried to get through the conversation without crying.

He wasn’t upset, just making conversation, but we’ve tried so hard to make sure he knows how perfect his skin is and to surround him with role models and media with people of color. I know we can’t shield him from this crap world completely, but I’d hoped we could at least make it through pre-k.

[margoglynn]

Finally watched Instant Family

I wasn’t going to, ever, but several of you had good things to say. And I was curious.

I had only a few emotional flashbacks. I’m glad I waited until a year and a half after we’d quit foster parenting to watch it. It was a good and important movie. I laughed a lot before it got all serious.

I loved the idea of having the parents who go through training stay together as a support group. Does anyone live somewhere that actually does this?

[margoglynn]

Foster Care Stress Dreams

I keep thinking I’m STILL having these dreams; we haven’t had a new placement in three years, but it’s only been six months since the Toddler’s adoption and since we closed our home.

So I dream about looking for the kids and not being able to find them.

That one’s pretty obvious.

Last night, I dreamed that I was playing a video game and losing badly. When the game ended, I fell to pieces because the characters I made had become so real to me that when it was over, I started screamed that I’d lost the children.

It was a real bummer.

Of course, I woke up and found that the Toddler has climbed into bed with me and was tucked against my body like a gigantic hot water bottle.

It was wonderful.

But I don’t want to dream anymore.

What about you guys? Is your psyche obvious or subtle?