#thisistoomuchforme

[kaseytatted17]

Ay nana cuanto se me esta quebrando el corazon ...... #iloveyou #missyou #thisistoomuchforme

[daduchessbrown]

When you're at a party and you're spying on someone!! 😂 #HowDoTheyComeUpWithThat #ThisIsTooMuchForMe #RealTalk #Repost #Funny #Lmao #GirlsBeLike #NiggaBelike

[bristlybrows]

Okay I don't have that many things to obsess over

but I know i'm obsessed with something if it's been a week and i'm searching up multi language versions, demos and pre-production/production interviews 

this hasn't happened for a while.

[belleautresor]

How I see it..This hair trend..

I got the idea for sharing how I see it from best-crisis-ever. Follow her.

But anyway...

I hate how big this whole relaxed vs. natural thing has become. But since it seems to be a huge debate, I'm going to throw mine in. Here's my story.

I'm natural. Am I against relaxers? HELL no.

Matter of fact, I only stopped getting them because I wanted to see what my natural hair looked like. I was 17, about to start my senior year of high school and I just became curious. That was enough for me stop doing something I've been doing the past 8 years. Next thing I know, it's been almost four years. And now, I'm not so happy with my choice.

There are various reasons I'm not happy, but now I've been put in a group of women who are against women with relaxers and who think they are better and that they love themselves more just because they have embraced what they were naturally given. Not all natural women of course. But I think that's stupid. And it's not me, at all.

But let me explain the title of this piece. I used "trend," because a lot of girls are doing it now, not for health or because they want to, but because it's the popular choice. I've seen so many big chop pictures and then a few months later, these same girls have pocahontas weaves. And as protective style, a weave isn't bad. But these are the same women that claimed that weaves and relaxers are a form of low self-esteem and self-hate once upon a time. Oh...

I get just as mad when I'm in public with my natural hair and someone who admires it comes up to me and bashes relaxers as I would if I had a relaxer. Like, is that necessary? Can you get a life, please?

Seriously, if all black women went natural tomorrow, that wouldn't solve every problem. Stop thinking that way. Since when does outward appearance reflect inward attitude? I could have relaxed hair and everyone will say I completely hate myself. But if a natural haired girl is a prostitute and on drugs, she has better self-esteem than me? What?

Once again, I'm not saying all natural haired individual think this way. I'm just speaking on things I've seen on this site.

I wish I could say something to the relaxed girls from my personal experience. But I can't, because the only stuff I've ever gotten was natural girls slamming girls with relaxers. Maybe because when I went natural, I transitioned. No big chop here. I couldn't get with that and still can't.

This is turned into a super big ramble post.

However, I also can't get with the whole of idea of natural hair being healtier. Maybe in the aspect of keeping chemicals off your hair, but other than that, from personal experience, it's not true otherwise. Since I've been natural, I've developed the worst split ends of my life. My hair has never been shorter, drier and more damaged than it is right now. When my hair was relaxed, it was halfway down my back. I ALWAYS had long hair. I knew how to take care of it that way. I know how to manage my hair better relaxed. And I miss it being long. People say natural hair is easier to take care of. And yea, sure, in the beginning when it's still short. But I transittioned, and the closer my natural hair got my original length, it was a nightmare. Now I barely have any hair left. Most people who relax their hair don't know how to take care of it, which is why it's damaged. And I fully admit that I don't know how to take of my natural hair, NOR do I have the energy OR want to put forth the effort. Because being natural for a long time was never my intent.

So, I'm starting over. Honestly, I just want a short cut and I don't want the baby fro, so it's getting relaxed. And then I'm going to grow it out from there. Maybe natural again one day, maybe not. It's JUST HAIR, right? (As if I didn't make it a bigger deal with this post..lol)

Truth is, being a person who hates to go with the crowd and be generalized is killing me at this point. Once a lot of people hop on a train I'm on, I just want to get off. Except the Jesus train of course. But the natural hair train is getting packed and I REALLY don't like the direction it's going at this moment. I will hop back on eventually, WITHOUT pressure from other people. When I can properly tend to my natural curls and have them heathy, I'll let them come back.

However, I applaud those women who went against everything that everyone said to them about natural hair being less beautiful and are doing it anyway. It was just never that for me. Going natural didn't give me any freedom or release or anything like that. My parents, friends and family never cared what I did with my hair. And regardless if anybody believes this, I never felt the pressure from society to keep my hair relaxed. I never associated straight hair as being more beautiful, just an alternate style. I just didn't get that influence growing up. And most people think my hair is super pretty. I love my natural curls but I don't like them damaged, like they are right now.

I don't know what makes me more sad; the fact that people are going to try and talk me out of it or the fact that after I do it, I'm going to have to explain myself to everyone. Sigh.

And to ALL the people have a problem with me getting a relaxer...."Bitch you wasn't with me when I was trying to comb out these naps!!!"

lmao I HAD to do it.