Plain White T's - The Giving Tree (Official Lyric Video)
When I was little, my mom read me Shel Silverstein's book, The Giving Tree. She read it to me in a very careful, intentional way so that I wouldn't think that it was sad.
Well, when my younger brother Joe was like, five or six, I got the book from the library, and like a good big sister, I sat down to read it with him.
I made the poor boy start crying.
She took the book and started it over. She read it to Joe in the calmest, warmest voice. She cuddled him close to her and at the end, when she said, "And the tree was happy," he really believed it.
That was when I learned that The Giving Tree is a tricky story. It's about a selfish guy who won't grow up, and uses the one who loves him most until she has nothing left.
And the tree let's the boy use her up.
She just stands there and takes it until, for lack of a better way of putting it, he kills her.
That is pretty much the most unhealthy relationship you can be in.
I don't know if The Giving Tree is necessarily a children's book when you consider that.
Most little kids aren't able to take the philosophical truths from the book. When I was seven, all I really took away from the book was that the tree and the boy were ultimately friends even after the boy was so mean to her.
That's not to say I don't like the story anymore. Reflecting on it, I see that its really similar to the story of the Prodigal Son. The two stories are beautiful in the same tragic way.
At the beginning of The Giving Tree, the most innocent, heartwarming portrait of friendship is painted. The tree loves the boy "even more than she loved herself" and lavishes this love on him. The boy loves the tree "very much" and returns her love, spending time with her, carving his initials into her stump, and sharing his life with her.
Well, everything starts to go downhill by, like, page five. You probably know the rest.
Here's the thing about the boy: we wish he wasn't so selfish and ungrateful.
Even though he and the tree are friends, he presumes on their friendship, asking for more and more favors that directly harm the tree, just so he can be happy. He loves the tree, but mistreats her as he starts loving and wanting other things.
Here's the thing about the tree: we wish she wouldn't give the boy so much.
She gives the boy everything he asks for. Even when she has literally NOTHING, she still keeps giving to the boy when he comes back, now an old man, and worn out by the life he built at her expense. It's undeniable that the tree is generous, and while there's nothing wrong with her generosity, or with her wanting the boy to be happy, we get this outraged sense that she deserves better. That's right about the time my brother started crying - when he got the awful sense that the tree was ruined, and what a great loss that was. Especially because the boy didn't seem to care.
I think the tragic beauty of The Giving Tree is that both the tree and the boy want to be happy. The tree is happy when the boy is happy. So she keeps giving him what he says will make him happy. But we finally get to the point in the story where the tree is happy, "But not really."
The song by Plain White T's is a perfect summary of the tree's intentions, hopes, and disappointment.
if all that you wanted was love
cut me down build a boat and sail away
settle down, build a home, and make you happy
These are the things the boy wants, too, but he looks for happiness far away from the one who loves him most.
Even with the harsh review I've given of the book up to this point, I am going to step back now and say that this story has a great moral.
There's a heroic depth of humility and mercy to be found in the ending, when the boy comes back to the tree. It's remarkably similar to the Prodigal Son, who returns to his father after squandering the inheritance.
The boy squandered all the tree's riches, all her beauty, all her love.
But she takes him back. She lavishes all that is left of her onto the boy, and he receives her love. The story comes full circle, as the tree gives her love to the boy, and the boy reciprocates it with his presence.
After years of the boy using the tree and the tree letting herself be used, the boy comes back, the tree forgives him, and they both give what they have left. I don't know about you, but I think that's beautiful.
"And the tree was happy."
