#time's rants

[thestray-fox3s]

Why the FUCK am I back in front? I swear to fucking god I'm gonna crash out so damn hard. I'm already in an annoyed mood and this just made it so much worse.

[thestray-fox3s]

I'm being forced to listen to hadestown please help me. She will not let me get off of it. Every time I open spotify, IMMEDIATELY it's just "Do NOT go click to off to a different song." PLLEASEE LET ME GET OFF

[thestray-fox3s]

I'm being forced to listen to hadestown please help me. She will not let me get off of it. Every time I open spotify, IMMEDIATELY it's just "Do NOT go click to off to a different song." PLLEASEE LET ME GET OFF

[thestray-fox3s]

I caved in im listeninf to hadestown now. Your welcome uhh whatever her name is.

[thestray-fox3s]

GET THIS WOMAN OUT AND AWAY FROM ME AUAGSGHF I DONT WANT TO LISTEN TO HADESTOWN FUUCCKKK I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR WALL SHIT OR WHATEVER AUAGSH

[thestray-fox3s]

Hi times here. Very long rant because I don't know how to verbally speak feelings. Blegh it's kinda cringe lowkey.

I hate being a jealous and obsessive holder. I don't understand why I'm like this. I have no real reason to feel this way over them. They both love us. I know. But sometimes, I sit there and feel like they don't but THEY DO. I KNOW THEY DO. I love them to, but lowkey, being possessive over both is not for the weak I swear.

There will be times that I'm just sitting there while they're doing whatever, hell if I know, and I'll just sit and think. Like sit and dissociate think. "Man, I could be getting that attention right now" or smth like "I deserve that attention from _____ not them." Idfk I hate thinking like that in the first place. It's selfish. I'll get the attention when it comes. I can wait, but sometimes, I feel like I actually can't wait.

I hate when I push away just because their alters are being all lovey dovey n shit. Like, I sit somewhere else or just completely block it out. Although I can't block it out, so I sit there having to deal with our heavy jealousy and trying to act fine. I'm not saying they have to stop or anything, not at all. I'm just going off what I feel.

I hate when I rely on close friends to give us the attention we crave instead of just asking our partners, but I don't know how to speak up about it. "Oh! Err I haven't been feeling well lately and I just really want yalls attention.." Do you understand how much I'd cringe saying something like that??? Like now I sound like an attention whore. Although, I honestly am.

I hate when I'm left alone to my thought because I know that they're both off somewhere and I'm just sitting there like some pathetic looking dog. I wait. I sit somewhere and I wait for them to come find me themselves. My mood lightens so much when they're both around and I get some form of attention or affection, but the moment they run off or something, I'm back to sulking.

I hate how fast my mood changes when I'm with or without them. One second they're somewhere, leaving me behind and I'm hating on something. The next second, I'm hanging out with both of them and laughing about something. Genuinely having fun and feeling loved. It's dumb. I know we don't ever go to them and speak about this but it's because I don't know HOW. I genuinely don't know how to word myself.

Okay I'll lowkey shut up now. I know that yapping about my feelings like this is lowkey pathetic

[thestray-fox3s]

I'm bored. It's 9am. My stomach hurts. I have this random nagging thought in the back of my mind to just have a mental breakdown??? What is this morning? Let me peacfully lay in bed and draw.

[thestray-fox3s]

Sometimes, I feel like our sister is being intentionally dense. I just argued with her for like 5-10 minutes about TIME. You know, the fucking clock. I swear, that was the dumbest argument I have ever been involved with in my life. Dear spawn. I fucking hate her sometimes.