Timed Prompt - Living in a Fanfic World (15 min)
“I don’t even know why you keep coming here, you fucking asshole. You don’t even like bowling,” Baekhyun shouts.
“Screw you, you don’t know that I don’t like bowling!” Jongin shouts back, spittle flying.
“Oh yeah?” Baekhyun challenges, eyes wild. “What is the ball called then, huh?"
“What?”
“What is the ball called for bowling?” Baekhyun spells out slowly.
“....Wait, isn’t it just a bowling ball?” Jongin asks, voice losing all heat in his confusion.
“Oh,” Baekhyun says after a pause. “Wait, I think it is.”
“Idiots,” Kyungsoo mutters, making sure it’s loud enough that everyone can hear.
“My point’s still valid. You don’t even like being here. All you do is bitch and whine. You need to gee-tee-eff-oh,” Baekhyun says, giving his best hair flip and heel turn and heading back to the seats.
“Your hair isn’t long enough to flip,” Jongin shoots back, sneering when Baekhyun gives him a horrified look. “And it’s fried. You look like you’re wearing a wig made of hair stolen off a microwaved Barbie doll.”
“Why are you two even arguing?” Kyungsoo barks, stepping between them before they start slapping each other.
“Because he’s an idiot who insulted my hair get out the way I need to end this scalawag!” Baekhyun screams, growing increasingly hysterical.
“No, really though, you two are friends,” Kyungsoo says after gripping a handful of Baekhyun’s hair and leading him back to the seats. “What the hell is going on?”
“It’s building tension,” Jongin guesses.
“Right,” Kyungsoo says. “But why would we build tension?”
“Huh?” Jongin says.
“This is terribly artificial,” Kyungsoo explains. “So either we’re all being drugged with some sort of mind altering substances...are either of you high?”
“If we were high, would we know?” Jongin asks.
“Yes,” Baekhyun snaps, glaring at him while nursing his sore scalp. “Idiot.”
“This is like some sort of bad writing,” Kyungsoo says.
“What, like are we in a movie?” Baekhyun asks.
“This would be a terrible movie,” Jongin says. “I mean what kind of line is ‘what are the balls called in bowling’?”
“No, this isn’t even like disaster movie level,” Kyungsoo says, shaking his head at them and sighing. “This is like bad fanfiction level.”
“Fanfiction like Fifty Shades of Grey?” Jongin asks.
“I thought it was Gray,” Baekhyun corrects.
“See, that’s my point,” Kyungsoo says, waving them off before they interrupt him again. “You don’t know how he spelled it. It’s because it’s being written. This is fanfiction.”
“I can’t be fanfiction,” Jongin argues.
“And why not?”
“Because I mean...I’m real.”
“Real person fanfiction,” Kyungsoo counters.
“No,” Jongin gasps.
“I mean, look at us,” Kyungsoo says, spreading his arms out. “Don’t either of you think it’s weird that every single person in our town of like, what, twenty fucking people is like preternaturally, Kpop-idol level attractive? Like this isn’t the land where plastic surgeons go to retire, this is Bumfuck, No Where.”
“Oh shit, wait,” Jongin rushes out. “Wait, you might have a point.”
“So what now?” Baekhyun says, sneakily standing back up and staying out of grabbing range of Kyungsoo’s arms. “What, do we break out of here? Write an angry review? Bitch on our fakeass Twitter?”
“I have a boner,” Jongin offers.
“Put it away,” Kyungsoo says, shaking his head disapprovingly. “It’s not even real. You’re not even real.”
“But I have a boner?” Jongin repeats.
“Wait, now I do too,” Baekhyun says, squirming to adjust it.
Kyungsoo lets out a loud sigh. “I said to not talk about it, and now I have one too. This is clearly a distraction.”
“You didn’t say not to talk about it,” Jongin mumbles.
“And now we’re all naked,” Baekhyun says.
“Thank you for stating the obvious,” Kyungsoo glares at him as he tries to shield his crotch and avoid looking at the others’.
“Well, I kind of have to,” Baekhyun snips. “If it’s all in text, then how will people know?”
“Is this going to be a threesome?” Jongin asks. “I really don’t want to have a threesome with you guys.”
“Hey, look, there’s lube dripping down the walls,” Baekhyun points.