Team Kill Tango v2
by artyrambles (to the tune of Cell Block Tango)
You know how people have these little habits
That get you down. Like Bert.
Bert liked to bump people.
No, not bump. PUSH.
So I came into a match this one day
And I’m really irritated, and I’m
Looking for a good team
And there’s Bert standing
in the cap circle, coming toward me
and bumping. No, not bumping.
Pushing. So I said to him,
I said, “you push me
One more time…”
And he did.
So I loaded my gun
And fired two warning shots…
…into his tank.
I met E-75 from EU server about two weeks ago
And he told me he was a unicum
And we exchanged friend requests right away
So, we started playing together
He'd log on, he'd invite me to platoon.
I'd get my SPG, we'd play matches together
And then I found out
"Unicum", he told me
Unicum my ass
Not only was his account not his own
Oh no, he had 6 accounts
One of those failed rerolls, you know
So that night when he logged on,
I got my SPG as usual
You know, some guys just can't hold their HE shells.
Now, I’m standing in my bush
Balancing reds for fun
Minding my own business,
In storms my teammate Waffenträger
In a jealous rage.
“You been stealing my kills,”
He says. He was crazy
And he kept on screaming,
“you been stealing my kills.”
And then he ran into my shell.
He ran into my shell 4 times…
Mit kersek, en itt?
Azt mondják, a híres klánvezetőm
Lődd le a csapattársaim pályáját, miközben felrobbantottam az ammóniáját.
De ez nem igaz. Ártatlan vagyok.
Nem tudom, miért mondja a WG.
Megpróbáltam megmagyarázni az ügyfélszolgálatot, de nem értették meg ...
- Yeah, but did you do it?
Uh uh, not guilty!
My sister Veronica and I were grinding the French line
And my clanmate Charlie was playing with us
Now, for the next part of our grind,
We did this 20 session marathon in a row
One, two, three, four, five tiers,
Renault,
Lorraine, AMX
One right after the other.
So this one night before the session we are playing our tanks
The three of us platoonin'
Havin' a few matches
And we show our new tanks
So I click Ready to get mine
The others do too, I see them
And there's Veronica and Charlie
Showing their tier 6
The Panhard AMD
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later, when my account was temporarily suspended...
I even knew they were dead.
I loved platooning with AMX
More than I can possibly say.
He was a real arty-positive guy…
Sensible… a scout.
But he was trouble
He was always trying
to improve himself
He’d go to the forums every night
Looking for advice
And on the way
He found noobs,
Haters,
Nerf advocates and sheeple
I guess you can say we stopped playing together
Because of arty-stic differences.
He saw his tank as alive
And I saw it dead.
They had it coming (they had it coming)
They had it coming (they had it coming)
They had it coming all along
'Cause if they used us ('cause if they used us)
And they abused us (and they abused us)
How could you tell us that we were wrong?
