#tma 115

[hexlorde]

Ohhhhh Jon that was not a good move. Jon maybe you should have taken a moment to listen to it. Jon I though you were done being an absolute moron-

[burninginthegymplplinko]

MAG 115 - Taking Stock

doodle 115/200; days left - 3/110 15/128

wanted this to be a full painting butttt the time is unforgiving so i had to leave it.

[red-archivist]

HELEN

We’re both changing, Archivist. I had hoped, that together –

ARCHIVIST

Get out.

HELEN

Archivist…

ARCHIVIST

Get. Out.

In ep 188 Jon admits that when he first met her, he felt like Helen Richardson was “in the same place I was, but worse, further along” and that if she could be helped, maybe he could get better as well

They were similar; if there was hope for her, there could be some for him

Helen as the distortion weaponizes this feeling and makes it into a different parallel. Neither of them are human anymore, she says, surely that means their connection is even deeper now

And Jon lashes out at this, jumps out of his seat and commands her to leave, not because he disagrees, but because he has already come to the same conclusion in his own mind, because he recognises that the parallel is still there

If Helen is still in the same place as him, but further along- if she is now a monster who is hurting people- how long before he gets worse as well, before he starts doing the same thing?

He is so afraid and he hides it behind anger because he knows she is telling the truth.

[red-archivist]

HELEN

I have never told you a lie, Archivist. I wouldn’t dare. 

the day you do, you’re gonna get fuccckkkkeeedd up

I, I just thought you might understand.

ooh this is nasty, this is a low blow

this is where helen as a false friend starts to be really laid on thick

[red-archivist]

ARCHIVIST

…

I don’t believe you.

HELEN

You don’t?

jon never really buys into the act of helen as the distortion, not the way the others will do later on

[red-archivist]

HELEN

Before, talking to you made Helen feel better.

ARCHIVIST

You’re not that Helen!

HELEN

I just want… I just want to feel better.

probably the truth

also this is twisting the knife, just reminding jon how he actually felt a kinship with the real helen before she got got

[red-archivist]

HELEN

I feel… wrong. I feel this –

ARCHIVIST

Why are you telling me this?

jon does not want to hear this, he doesn’t want to hear about a monster killing a stranger

especially bc, jon being jon, he feels guilty about what happened to helen and by proxy if he blames himself for her being eaten, he blames himself for this too

[red-archivist]

HELEN

I took someone.

[...]

I took a man, wandering the halls of an old tenement. He’s dead now, he never even came close to finding me. It was nourishing, but…

I didn’t like it.

a half-truth? or just a lure to inspire sympathy?