#tma oc statement

[starr-bugg]

Just remembered I had an AO3 account and posted my TMA fan statement on there. Go check it out.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

:3

[logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit]

Statement of Malcom Rose regarding a yellow door

The mind is a fickle thing, let’s start with that. To some, you may seem insane but to others, perfectly sane. Though, I don’t like the word insane. No one is truly insane. Those considered insane, just have a warped point of view. 

I’m a therapist, working mostly with those who have encountered the supernatural. As you can guess, that is why I frequent the institute, many of you probably come to me. (I won’t say who. I don’t care if you want names, I respect patient confidentiality.) I think it’s included in the insurance. I’m not sure, never was a numbers person. I like the mind better than the numbers that go through it.

When I was younger, high school age or so, I encountered my first paranormal experience.  

I’m a pretty out-there person, so as you can imagine, I got bullied quite a lot. Now, I have no idea how high schools in the UK work, but in the U.S, it’s brutal. Most teachers turn a blind eye, they don’t care about the students. The only reason most of them teach is that they were too stupid to actually find something they liked.

Hah, I got beat up quite a lot. By the third year of school, I figured out that running was usually the best option. Most of my tormenters weren’t very fast, well, not fast enough to keep up with a scrawny kid who’s on the track team.

I’d run and find a place to hide until I knew they’d given up. Usually, I’d duck into the library and wedge myself between some bookshelves, but that day they had surprised me and I didn’t have time to go to the library. 

I was caught off guard and panicked, I just picked a random door and ran into it. At the time I didn’t notice anything but the fact that the bullies were getting closer. If I had looked, I would’ve seen that the door was a cheery yellow and it was just a smidge larger than all of the others. 

So yeah, I ran into a funky door without even looking. What great survival instincts am I right?

Honestly, I could describe every moment in that place in extreme detail, I remember everything. There were so many hallways, branching this way and that. I couldn’t even guess where they lead to and I didn’t want to find out. 

I thought if I could just find that stupid door again, I could get out. I don’t know why I wanted to get out. It was calm and peaceful, for me at least. There were no bullies to chase me, no teachers to lecture me on not solving the problem their way instead of my way, and it was quiet. 

Now, occasionally the quiet would be broken up by screams, which scared the living daylights out of me the first time I heard one. I followed the scream until I found a woman, hugging her knees with her arms dripping blood. I assume she scratched at her arms till they drew blood.

She noticed me a few minutes after I found her. I was just standing there, observing her. When it came to blood I wasn’t afraid. I’d seen my fair share in the foster homes I’d been in. What caught my eye was, well, her eyes. They were glazed over, but panicked. So, so, so very scared. 

It was interesting, honestly. When it comes to others, I’d gotten apathetic. I’d seen others suffering and I have suffered. No one helped. 

Now I know that’s a pretty messed up view, but it was what helped me process it. 

So, I studied the woman for a bit, finally making eye contact with her. I said a small greeting and asked her name. Her voice was hoarse and barely hearable, but I could understand it with a bit of work.

Her name was Becca, she told me she had been there for only about a day. 

‘Only a day, pathetic.’ I thought at the time. I had been in there for a few months, at least. I never got hungry there and time was hard to process. But I suppose that was the point; trap someone there, make them lose their grip on their mind.

I had simply tilted my head after that and turned on my heel. She wasn’t interesting enough for me to stay long.

The screams kept coming, day after day. I always followed them, finding the person and gauging how interesting they were. If they were, I’d stay for about a day, talking to them, picking their brain. I always left them with a few words, it had turned into a game for me.

“Remember, it’s not true.” were the words I said, then I left. 

I finally found someone who was more interesting than everyone I had met. He was a psychology professor. He didn’t scream, I had simply found him sitting against a wall, looking around. 

He hadn’t lost his hold on reality yet, this was good. This was interesting. Someone finally was interesting.

I got him to teach me as much as he could before I let him go. It didn’t want me to keep someone for too long.

I learned all he would teach me, then I lead him in circles and left him with my words. 

Everything from there on became less of a game and more of a study to me. I would lead some people around, talk to them, or just simply stare at them. It would always end up with me leaving them, of course. I was just testing to see just how fast the madness would get to them if I threw in different variables. 

The human mind is so interesting, you know. You get deprived of any hunger or thirst and you just sit there. Some forget everything about themselves while others simply cease to be themself, so convinced that their mind is lying that they become a different person. That one’s my favorite.

Oh, I’m getting a smidge off-topic, very sorry. 

I had been in there for a few years, maybe four? I’m not entirely sure, it didn’t matter to me.

Eventually I just announced that my study was over and that I’d visit soon. I wasn’t sure who I was talking to, but I’m sure they had heard me.

I found the yellow door and I left, easy as that. I got thrown into someone’s apartment, no one was there, it wasn’t lived in and the keys were just sitting there. So, I assumed it was the door’s gift and I started to live there.

It was in England… So I just stayed here. I went to a college, got my degrees, found a friend who still thinks I was sixteen when they found me. I told them that I wasn’t that age, but Lanell with be Lanell.

I found out that what I had been in was called the Spiral or something, which is probably why I ended up near the institute. I’ve seemingly made friends with other Avatars, which is funky. But anyhow, tell the Distortion to pick up my calls. I wanna hang out.

Also, tell Elias to come to his damn therapy appointments.