*Hidan stands in Tobi’s doorway*
Hidan: Oi, mask-boy … you gotta sec? I wanna talk to you.
Tobi: Hidan-senpai, I swear I did not eat that piece of cake you left on the counter. Although you DID leave it there for a long —
Hidan: This ain’t about me, fucker. It’s about your other Senpai: blondie.
Tobi: D-Deidara? Is something wrong with him? Is he hurt?? *jumps up* I need to —
Hidan: Relax; he’s fine. Well, kind of. *shuts Tobi’s door and sits at the edge of his bed* I don’t know how to say this gay shit without it sounding gay, but … you know the kid is my best friend, right? You know I … I love that annoying bitch, in a not-gay way?
Tobi: I know that, but what’s that got to do with anything?
Hidan: Does that shitty mask make you as blind as red-eyes? You can’t see that Deidara likes ya?! In a gay way?
Tobi: I … I t-think you’re wrong, Hidan-Senpai. Me and Deidara are pals! There’s nothing —
Hidan: I know there ain’t shit going on between ya because both of you are big pussies who can’t just man up and tell each other the truth! Admit it; you’ve been eyeing him since the day Pein made you partners, haven’t ya?
Tobi, slipping into Obito voice: I’ve spent my entire life silently wanting those whom I could not have. What reason do I have to believe that Deidara would be any different? And why do you care, anyway? You hate me!
Hidan: I don’t hate ya, asshole. I mean I’d like ya better if you converted to the way of Jashin but I’ve accepted all of you fuckers are hopeless heathens. And like I said I care about blondie. He’s the whole reason I got up the balls to talk to the old bastard, and it’s why we’re together now. I want the same for him. So .. *voice gets softer* Talk to ‘em. Please.
Tobi: *sighing* And get rejected? You know what, fine. What’s another stab in the heart after a lifetime of pulling knives out of it?
Hidan: *claps him on the back* That’s the spirit, weirdo! *gets up* Lemme know later how it went!
Deidara, in Hidan’s room: … and then he kissed me, hm! Hidan it was soooo good, his lips were so soft and his face! His hair! He was so unbelievably handsome!
Hidan: It’s about fuckin’ time, blondie! Hey, maybe now you can go on dates with me and the old man! We —
Kakuzu, coming into the room: Oi, Hidan, get ready; we’re going out to dinner. One of my contacts gave me a two for one dinner coupon for that place we went to a few weeks ago.
Hidan: … the place I got the food poisoning from?! I was on the toilet for three days! I lost eight pounds!
Kakuzu: Oh, don’t be a baby. Just don’t order the fish this time and you’ll be fine. *walks out*
Deidara: M-maybe we’ll take a raincheck on that double date thing, hm …